Discouraged

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Pepper

Guest
#1
I never thought I would ever be one to unload into a computer but I am soooo very tired and discouraged. I am nearly 40 years old and have never been married. And my last long term relationship was nearly 10 years ago and it was a disaster. I am waiting on the one the Lord has or is preparing for me but I am so tired of trying to do all this meanial stuff alone. Yes, I know the Lord is with me and He is all I need but selfishly I want someone to simply talk to. I do talk to God but it is usually a one way verbal conversation. And yes I know He speaks to me, but its not the same as having a living, breathing, human being sitting phsyically across from you and speaking audibly directly to you and you can look him in the eyes. I do not feel I am desperate, but I do get lonely for adult companionship. I am trying to be strong and wait on the Lord, and I will continue to wait, but I would so much like to have someone to communicate with. Was just wondering if anyone else has been or is in a similiar situation and how do you handle it? I do pray but sometimes it feels more like whining than praying, and I for one cannot stand whining... lol I do not want to seem like I do not have faith, cause I do. Oh, it's just to hard to explaing. Maybe someone will understand what I am trying to say..... ugh, blah, blah, blah..... :(
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
Hi Pepper.
38. Never been married either. So i understand. Fortunately i'm a bit of an introvert, so i am quite content with stretches of solitude. Even though i don't live alone, but it's different when you're 'with' someone than just having people around.
But even as an introvert i still have that longing for someone.
I try to be aware that it may never happen. I know that's not the 'proper Christian answer'. But it's fact. It might happen, it might not. But, i just try to grow as a person and as a Christian. Hopefully, if someone does come along, i'll be a better person and spouse through the time i spent growing.
I would suggest staying busy, but the best way to keep your mind off of things is to go out with others. But that sometimes leads to seeing other couples and that reminding you that you have no one. Finding some kind of a distraction, hobby, something to fill your mind during down times could help. Or possibly a pet. These are not replacements, but they may help to ease some of the burden.
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
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#3
I am 33 and have never been married or in a relationship. :) Hang in there. The way that I get through is my relationship with Christ. I'm not kidding. I know what He's called me to and I seek to know Him more, to be more like Him, to see His face, to change and be holy as He is holy. Takes up my days. I do have pets, too, and hobbies, such as photography and drawing and reading and writing and, oh yeah, Netflix to watch my favorite shows all in a row without commercials. :)

Feel free to PM me at any time. I also have a purity page and a Bible study page on Facebook. :) The links are in my signature below.
 
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Pepper

Guest
#4
thanks for the encouragement. I do have pets, but they are so needy at times. lol No really, I love my little doggies and they do keep me company. I am also a bit of an introvert but am working on coming out of it. I did the go out thing with friends, but I am always the third wheel and quite frankly, it's jus become uncomfortable. Or on the other side of that, they wanna go to bars or clubs and that is jus not my scene anymore. I have to stay away from those places. Anyway, guess I could take up knitting... lol Like you, I do try to get closer to the Lord and I know time is getting short so I suppose I shouldn't worry about it. Just had one of those days. Thank you again! :) Just nice to know Im not the only one that goes through this from time to time. I should be stronger than this by now. But thanks again. Be blessed.
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#5
I hear you. I have those days, too. They are very few and far between because, truly, I love being single. I'm one of those strange ladies that do. :) But, yeah, once in awhile, it would just be nice to have that companionship and love and intimacy that godly marriage offers. One of the ways to get through it is what you did here...talk about it. :D

I take comfort in the fact that God is in control and that He has His seasons and if I just trust in Him and wait on Him, He will show me the change of season and tell me my next step to take. :D
 
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psalm6819

Guest
#6
Hi Pepper,

I was single most of my life so I understand that it does get lonely. Funny thing though, even when I had kids and hubby, there were still times that I felt so very alone. So it's something that perhaps will only leave us when we join Jesus. That being said theres a Singles Forum here or there a Christian dating sites. Don't beat yourself up for wanting someone special. God put that desire in our heart. Don't give up hope.
 

Yahshua

Senior Member
Sep 22, 2013
2,702
684
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#7
I know in these passages talk about specific things but I think they're still fitting...

Revelation 3:8-9
'I know your deeds. Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut, because you have a little strength, and have kept My word, and have not denied My name.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Endure family.

---

@mystdancer50 I visited your links and just have to say, excellent ministry! Nice job.
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#8
@mystdancer50 I visited your links and just have to say, excellent ministry! Nice job.
Thank you. :) Just beginning. It's really exciting to see God bringing it all together. He is so good to me! Have a great day/night. :D
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#9
thanks for the encouragement. I do have pets, but they are so needy at times. lol
If you think pets are needy, just wait until you have a husband. :eek:

Sorry, I HAD to throw that in there! Haha. (But no, really.)

It's heart wrenching to see so many men and women lonely and single. I'm such a "fixer" that I really really want to just run out there and pair everyone up, spreading happiness and joy as I go. LOL. If only it were that simple...

Praying for you right now, sister.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#10
I get it... I know i'm only 22 but I get the same way. I'm 22 years old and the girls i've "dated" I don't really count, since I was in junior high and haven't kissed any of them. I didn't go to Prom or any of the other dances in high school. My sister has always had boys chasing after her, she went to Prom twice and to all the other dances in high school. So I would feel a little left out, jealous, and of course alone. I know our situations aren't exactly the same, but I still feel like I can relate.

I still feel some kind of way about it sometimes, but the thing is God placed that desire in my heart. He did the same for you. He doesn't put it there for nothing. He also wants to give us the desires of our hearts. So I have to believe that there is that special person out there for me, and they're out there for you as well. I'll never understand God's timing, but we have to wait on it. He won't forget about you, me, or anyone else. We can trust Him.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#11
thanks for the encouragement. I do have pets, but they are so needy at times. lol No really, I love my little doggies and they do keep me company. I am also a bit of an introvert but am working on coming out of it. I did the go out thing with friends, but I am always the third wheel and quite frankly, it's jus become uncomfortable. Or on the other side of that, they wanna go to bars or clubs and that is jus not my scene anymore. I have to stay away from those places. Anyway, guess I could take up knitting... lol Like you, I do try to get closer to the Lord and I know time is getting short so I suppose I shouldn't worry about it. Just had one of those days. Thank you again! :) Just nice to know Im not the only one that goes through this from time to time. I should be stronger than this by now. But thanks again. Be blessed.
Yeah, i can't count how many areas of my life i feel that way in.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#12
Just nice to know Im not the only one that goes through this from time to time. I should be stronger than this by now. But thanks again. Be blessed.
Yeah, i can't count how many areas of my life i feel that way in.
I can. But I don't have several days to burn by sitting on my butt and counting my issues.

Pray pray pray. Read read read. It's advice for all of us, myself included.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#13
Well, that sounded pretty rude.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#14
If you think pets are needy, just wait until you have a husband.
Now that was rich!

Hi Pepper - I'm an idiot and have NO idea what I'm doing in life but I know what you mean about having a live fleshy human to talk too. Even here on CC I'll write something I think is funny and have no idea if anybody else does. It's like I'm on stage in front of an audience and tell a joke and nobody makes a sound and then maybe 1 or 2 people hold up a little "like" sign.

But then again - this place is also where I get my devotional. A damaged heart just out of the blue shows up and receives reples of comfort like loaves and fishes from Christ. A battered soul returns to here and is greeted like the prodigal son. And a woman like you who thinks she's invisible is shown that even the hairs on her head are counted. So - stick around till they tell you to leave (that's what I do). God bless.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#16
But I don't have several days to burn by sitting on my butt and counting my issues.


This entire line is what i'm referring to.