I'm ugly. I no job. I sweaty palms, head, when I talk to a girl. HEY, SHE LIKES YOU

[GreenNnice]

That's right !
You do all that OVER-thinking in your own mind, about your looks, about your work status, and, GUESS WHAT!
The Lord leads, He just wanted you to ASK HER OUT. He (God) HAD her pegged for you, in all your average-looks glory and hands that felt like a damp lobster when she shook your reached-out hand. SHE LIKES CLAMMY ! Or, at least, doesn't mind it, because......


This girl LIKES YOU !


SHE LIKES YOU ! ! She don't care about what you look like or what you do for work. Check the former, rather, SHE DOES CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, afterall, she's ALREADY given you a sign, a wink, an extra comment/compliment to you, so, quit over-thinking things

Why do you try and make up a girl's mind for her ABOUT YOU !


Give her a chance to MAKE UP her own mind ABOUT YOU

SHE LIKES YOU ~ !

-----------
Some girls want a 'Steve Urkel.' They want a high-water-pants dressed guy (hey, have you got a costume yet for the church harvest festival Wed. ? ) with suspenders and nerdy glasses !!

Is that you ! Does white tape hold your glasses together?

HEY, SHE LIKES YOU !

Are you Clark Kent's fumbling, clumsy, AWKWARD look-a-like? SHE LIKES YOU !!

This girl, SHE likes mild-mannered, looking guys; she's like Lois Lane. She don't want no super, hero, football-star, man. SHE LIKES YOU !! Gooing to church a lot, wanting to read his bible a lot.Yeah, that's been her WISH LIST since she was 6 years old !!!! And, she loves it when guys wear leather-strapped cross necklace. And, guess what? YOU DO !!!

She likes you !


She don't want some gorgeous, chiseled hunk, she don't want a guy who has perfect eyes. She
wants a guy like Tommy Tenney book, a guy who's a God chaser more than anything else in life, who's quiet, who's a nerd guy who takes care of himself (that's simple enough, insn't it? , who wears clean clothes that don't smell like b.o., who wears Doc Martens (She so LOVES '90s wear!), who wears a belt with those pants, or, suspenders, if that's YOU

Or, wait, I forgot, SHE DON'T CARE ABOUT your smell or your appearance even, SHE LIKES YOU !!!
But, do try to look the part, to respect her, OK? Deal?

BUT, the bottom line is not what you wear or what you look like, SHE LIKES YOU !!! She THINKS you look CUTE, you average looking to below-average looking guy !

And, isn't that what matters? Right? YOU AIN'T going out with YOU, are you? No. So, there ya go, SHE LIKES YOU !!

What do you really know about what she wants ! You don't know, so, quit guessing. If she shows an interest in you, then, that means SHE LIKES YOU. Or, not. But, you will never know if you don't GO and ASK out that girl.

Who knows ? She might like a shy guy who is AFRAID of kissing girls but isn't afraid of asking her out. Some girls don't want some overbearing manly guy, they WANT a timid guy who keeeps to himself, you know, a NERD, maybe, not even a job, because they know THEN you will be around for them more ! And, yeah, of course, you are doing SOMETHING to better yourself without a job, like, going to school and just trying to get a job.

Girls like that 'trying' word, guys

C'mon, maybe, she likes you so much that, just maybe, the Lord leads, but, yeah, maybe, just, just, KISS THE GIRL !!
[video=youtube;tXmLRHnoSAs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXmLRHnoSAs[/video]


Let His Spirit lead, and, He is leading YOU

 

[Ugly]

Well, this post may be full of good intentions and sentiment, but the reality is most women Do care about a lot of those things. Granted there are exceptions, but they are the minority, not the majority.

And yes, this goes both ways. You could make a post about traits that apply to women, but it would be the same thing. Some people, no matter how you look at it, come to the 'singles scene' at a bigger disadvantage than others. Be it looks, finances or whatever.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Here's a comforting thought... I see homely looking couples all the time. I see couples with poor hygiene. I see couples who are obese. All sorts of different people are married. Not just beautiful, buff, rich, successful people. That makes up a small portion of society. If these other ordinary people could all find a mate, why can't anyone?

You are a guy with sweaty palms and no money, and you can't get a girl? There's probably a girl out there who suffers from hair loss and has even less money than you, and she can't find a guy. Problem solved.

(I know it isn't that simple, but it's probable that we are all just ordinary people who are "holding out" for extraordinary mates, and not having much success.)

 

[CatHerder]

I'll add that one half of the couple can be attractive, with the other not...at least by the world's standards. I know plenty of couples where the woman is extremely beautiful and the man is pudgy and balding. I also know some good looking guys with really frumpy wives.

Just saying this so that Mr. Sweaty-hands doesn't feel he needs to only be on the lookout for a 400 pound one-legged bald woman (except for the hairs on her warts)...but if that is the gal that makes him happy...




apologies to any 400 pound one-legged bald women with warts who frequent this forum.

 

[Pipp]

You mean there is hope for me after all ???

 

[Ugly]

Here's a comforting thought... I see homely looking couples all the time. I see couples with poor hygiene. I see couples who are obese. All sorts of different people are married. Not just beautiful, buff, rich, successful people. That makes up a small portion of society. If these other ordinary people could all find a mate, why can't anyone?

You are a guy with sweaty palms and no money, and you can't get a girl? There's probably a girl out there who suffers from hair loss and has even less money than you, and she can't find a guy. Problem solved.

(I know it isn't that simple, but it's probable that we are all just ordinary people who are "holding out" for extraordinary mates, and not having much success.)

Yes, it seems most people i see, couples, neither are particularly attractive people, as the average person isn't particularly attractive, haha. *ahem... so its possible, sure. I wasn't suggesting it was. But that coming to the playing field with certain limitations still handicaps a person.

 

[Ugly]

You mean there is hope for me after all ???

Don't start woman =P

 

[JimJimmers]

I once heard it said, "You look like your ancestors, and they all got someone to find them attractive."

 

[GreenNnice]

Yes, LOL, 'frumpy,' that's a great word, catherdingbrasshornplayingsheepfather, and, right ugly, there's a lot more 'minority' than 'majority' when it comes to girls who want a guy who is different, not just in a being a Christian sense but, also, they are shy, unengaging (don't give girl any eye contact), and, are just, generallly, nerdy.


This thread is for ALL the nerds out there that THINK they are not girlfriend worthy.
They are. There are girls out there that are NOT looking for a guy WITH A JOB, WITH GOOD LOOKS, or, even half-good looks.

And, it can be an attraction thing like some of you said, but, bottom line, the Lord leads.


Don't let things YOU THINK stop you from being girl material STOP YOU !!

Let things SHE THINKS stop you from being girl material



And i can say with certainty--it is the Lord's timing and Scripture is clear of things in "His time"--there IS a girl out there who is looking for someone with YOUR exact characteristics and your LOOKS might trump things, at first, but, then, she sees you are like Sheldon (from the Big Bang Theory) and she soooo wants an anti-social, deliberate, unhumored, 'Bones,' mentality of a guy. SHE WANTS A guy who takes EVERYTHING literal(and I mean everything ) , who is like that tv show detective girl, or, like MONK !! She loves a guy who is obsessively neat and compulsive in how they act and do things !!

Hey, if there's a choice for her between a nerdy Monk type and a super hunk type, she will CHOOSE the monk guy EVERY SINGLE TIME.

That's all that is being said here, I just saw a thread about a guy who was afraid he couldn't ever get a girl and I hadn't done any threads like this lately, and, the Lord leads, I just felt it was time to address his issue because where one is thinking that degenerating, debililtating, self-unworthy way of themselves, many others are too.

 

[CatHerder]

...
Hey, if there's a choice for her between a nerdy Monk type and a super hunk type, she will CHOOSE the monk guy EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Or she can have the best of both worlds and have a "hunky monk."



it's kind of disturbing that one can find a picture for ANYthing on the interwebz.

 

[Ugly]

One thing i've learned, as a person who has always felt in the 'minority' mentioned is your options aren't always as limited as you think. True i've dated other 'minority' types. But i've also dated women i've considered 'out of my league.. way out' hahaha. So there are more options than we sometimes expect as 'minority' types.

 

[Pipp]

Don't start woman =P

I can if I wanna

 

[Liamson]

I have a theory that involves a concept that I loosely call Relationship Capital.

My Relationship Capital would be something like the amount of time, energy, money and attention that I am capable of delivering to a relationship at a given time.

I would say that I have a minimum threshold that I have to personally meet before I can invest in a relationship.


Just like in Currency exchange or the stock market, the strength of our Relationship Capital changes a lot. Much like in Currency exchange, its value is not set to a specific thing but, rather to the market as whole based on factors both external and internal.

Other people have rates too. Now there are no numbers or quantifiable data to measure, but it is something that we all seem to be aware of.

When I am single and "On the Market" my capital fluxuates. When I enter a relationship, that rate becomes fixed, just like opening a trade in FOREX or buying a stock a specific price point.


However, when you start a relationship, you essentially announce the value of the sum of your relationship capital, by the exchange it makes with someone else's. The exchange rate can fluctuate but the capital remains fixed.

For example if I date a woman who has little to no relationship capital. Say she is a stripper who is receiving child support payments from two of her baby daddies. I have fixed my relationship to a deflated value. I have sold myself short.

The relationship will reflect this mismatch eventually and it will fail.

In the same way that if I inflated my relationship capital to score a date with a random female christian celebrity, the relationship will fail.


The alternative is for me to simply stay out of the market and build up the capital that I can spend on finding a suitable mate. This is important when considering that sometimes, You aren't who you once were but, you could be again. My wife deserves the best me that she can get. She should be pursued will all of the passion, honour and diligence I have afforded any of my other relationships in the past.

Jumping into a relationship simply because a girl likes me, is doing us both a disservice. So I'll wait and horde my chips in the corner until I feel like I have enough that I can participate in a healthy relationship that has the foundation to last.






I don't want to be Aladdin or Simba.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Well, this post may be full of good intentions and sentiment, but the reality is most women Do care about a lot of those things. Granted there are exceptions, but they are the minority, not the majority.

And yes, this goes both ways. You could make a post about traits that apply to women, but it would be the same thing. Some people, no matter how you look at it, come to the 'singles scene' at a bigger disadvantage than others. Be it looks, finances or whatever.

I gotta disagree with that one, I think it's all in your head. If ya wanna sit there and think all kinds of negative stuff about yourself and how hard you got it and how no one likes you, your obviously not going to have many successful dates when you feel like that.....people do pick up on that ya know.

On the other hand, if your feeling good, enjoying life, and not in your head worrying if other people like you or not.....it's kinda hard to not have an interesting dating life. I don't think looks or money matter at all personally, but that's just my 2 cents.

 

[GreenNnice]

One thing i've learned, as a person who has always felt in the 'minority' mentioned is your options aren't always as limited as you think. True i've dated other 'minority' types. But i've also dated women i've considered 'out of my league.. way out' hahaha. So there are more options than we sometimes expect as 'minority' types.

Yes, I agree, ugly. Let's just let the Lord lead and not sell ourselves short of His 'change' for our life

The Lord leads

I gotta disagree with that one, I think it's all in your head. If ya wanna sit there and think all kinds of negative stuff about yourself and how hard you got it and how no one likes you, your obviously not going to have many successful dates when you feel like that.....people do pick up on that ya know.

On the other hand, if your feeling good, enjoying life, and not in your head worrying if other people like you or not.....it's kinda hard to not have an interesting dating life. I don't think looks or money matter at all personally, but that's just my 2 cents.

Wise words, brother, DK, wise words, indeed, said, from Him to all.
Look and money, ultimately, do not matter, and, a person YOU perceive as 'lower class' or a different 'monetary' stature, as, liamsON sorta kinda put it with his
'currency' referrence regarding value of one person to another in a relationshihp, will be figured out perfectly by our faith in Him, IF we just go for it, feel the tug, feel the pull, realize that, 'Yeah, there's some things that seem not perfect, Lord, but this girl's HEART, I can see, IS after you. She's in debt but she's working on a nursing degree, and, I can see, tough times ahead but I can see you seeing us through them, too. I really like this girl. She's increased my self-worth value though she's poorer than a churchmouse. That's worth a lot to me, I can work more, I can work harder, and, being with her will make it all seem easy."

Now, that's true wuv, ya all. WHEN you can see a girl in that light, then, God's saying, 'HEY, SHE LIKES YOU.'

 

[Chey60]

That's right !
You do all that OVER-thinking in your own mind, about your looks, about your work status, and, GUESS WHAT!
The Lord leads, He just wanted you to ASK HER OUT. He (God) HAD her pegged for you, in all your average-looks glory and hands that felt like a damp lobster when she shook your reached-out hand. SHE LIKES CLAMMY ! Or, at least, doesn't mind it, because......


This girl LIKES YOU !


SHE LIKES YOU ! ! She don't care about what you look like or what you do for work. Check the former, rather, SHE DOES CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, afterall, she's ALREADY given you a sign, a wink, an extra comment/compliment to you, so, quit over-thinking things



Let His Spirit lead, and, He is leading YOU

There is always someone for somebody.. it's all in if you are walking in your purposes..
not everyone is attracted to everyone else...but someone is attracted to you..
it starts in the heart..and works it's way out.

However, there are people you just cannot want to be with regardless of how much time you spend together
getting to know them..
I can't even use the word compatible, just that you don't enjoy their company...which makes them less attractive in your mind.

For me? I don't even have a type.. tho I love tall bald guys.. just like I would choose seafood over other foods at the top of my list first..

If God is leading it.. you never know who He might put in front of you and ask long as they are beautiful in YOUR eyes that's what matters..

I know looks matter somewhat, I am not gonna lie..but if their heart is ugly so are they..
but if their heart is beautiful, and they are semi attractive by the worlds standards, you can see them as THE most beautiful person around..and adore them.. and you should...
looks do fade..but inside beauty lasts forever and grows stronger with each step closer to Jesus and being Christ like
remember, HE wasn't someone to be looked upon as attractive yet people gathered around Him

on a secular note..
everyone should try to look their best, even if they are overweight or what have you..
you can dress nicely , not slovenly, you can take care of your appearance..even if you don't wanna go to the gym, you can still dress for your size.. and a man who is created to be a provider should have a job
in order to provide..
that's a must

 

[Chey60]

Yes, LOL, 'frumpy,' that's a great word, catherdingbrasshornplayingsheepfather, and, right ugly, there's a lot more 'minority' than 'majority' when it comes to girls who want a guy who is different, not just in a being a Christian sense but, also, they are shy, unengaging (don't give girl any eye contact), and, are just, generallly, nerdy.


This thread is for ALL the nerds out there that THINK they are not girlfriend worthy.
They are. There are girls out there that are NOT looking for a guy WITH A JOB, WITH GOOD LOOKS, or, even half-good looks.

And, it can be an attraction thing like some of you said, but, bottom line, the Lord leads.

Again a guy should have a job.. how can you manage a family if you are not the provider..

Also, the reason alot of girls don't go for the quiet reserved shy guys is that as christian women we know in our spirits that our husbands must be our covering, they must be a leader type...if he is afraid of his own shadow, intimidated by us, or any other thing that shows that kind of weakness, our EVE characteristics will jump all over that..and they will be chewed up and spitten out..and it doesn't matter how spirit filled the woman is.. she will still behave a certain way thats in her nature if the man is not behaving in the way God has called a husband to..which is to be the spiritual leader of his home. Does that mean he has to crack a whip? I think not...he can be quiet, shy and reserved as long as he is not afraid..
not afraid to put his foot down because what his wife wants isn't what she needs or they need as a couple..
not afraid to make that decisions even after discussion with the wife, that needs to be made even if she pouts (shame on us ladies if we pout...) and not afraid to be the man God has called him to be..while loving us and serving us as we serve him.
that being said, if a man that is nerdy or whatever is not desirable that is the reason because he is being a milque toast not because he wears nerdy glasses and a little bit of high water pants.. (and btw as long as they are not high water because he has them pulled up and belted up under his armpits and chest, that look is kind of cute)


Case in point about looks..I once knew a guy who was probably about 150 lbs overweight.. he had a cute face but most importantly he carried himself in such a confident, almost cocky way and he was extremely attractive.. you didn't even see that extra weight anymore.. he dressed kind of rocker looking, he sang, and he was overall just confident..funny and all that..
and this was a man who was a fence sitter spiritually..so of course not the marrying kind for me in the first place..but
you get my point...that his inside confidence affected his looks outside..

bottom line, whoever you are, whatever you look like..groom well, shower, and become the way CHRIST has called a man to become to wants to be married....
and stand your ground...be confident in that and women will just show up around you stumbling over their words
haha

 

[Chey60]

I have a theory that involves a concept that I loosely call Relationship Capital.



The alternative is for me to simply stay out of the market and build up the capital that I can spend on finding a suitable mate. This is important when considering that sometimes, You aren't who you once were but, you could be again. My wife deserves the best me that she can get. She should be pursued will all of the passion, honour and diligence I have afforded any of my other relationships in the past.

Jumping into a relationship simply because a girl likes me, is doing us both a disservice. So I'll wait and horde my chips in the corner until I feel like I have enough that I can participate in a healthy relationship that has the foundation to last.






I don't want to be Aladdin or Simba.

I LOVE this..
I agree ..it works in women the same way..
the Bible says we are a good thing, right? so.. we must be that good thing..
we do that with our relationship with Christ.. becoming christ like, learning how to be the best single woman we can be..
and of course learn what the best wife is we can be.. becoming well round all in all in the Lord.

I think what attracted abusive men in my life int he past was my lack of both knowing who I was in Christ, and knowing what a value I was as a woman..especially a woman of God..
I felt like I had to have a man in my life for approval...
once I gave that up and realized it was GOD's approval I should worry about and I already had that... and as long as I check my heart against His word, repenting if necessary, letting His word change me with His Holy Spirit.. remembering and learning from mistakes made in the past..and renewing my mind.. and carrying myself as the princess in Christ that I know that I am, not allowing anyone to treat me otherwise.. serving others etc etc..
I will be a good thing for sure!!
it may have taken 53 years (I had an awful past..testimony tho!!
but I am learning.. and so glad to be doing so!

 

[Ugly]

I can if I wanna

Try it and i'll get out the meatloaf and start pelting you with little chunks of it.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Again a guy should have a job.. how can you manage a family if you are not the provider..

Also, the reason alot of girls don't go for the quiet reserved shy guys is that as christian women we know in our spirits that our husbands must be our covering, they must be a leader type...if he is afraid of his own shadow, intimidated by us, or any other thing that shows that kind of weakness, our EVE characteristics will jump all over that..and they will be chewed up and spitten out..and it doesn't matter how spirit filled the woman is.. she will still behave a certain way thats in her nature if the man is not behaving in the way God has called a husband to..which is to be the spiritual leader of his home. Does that mean he has to crack a whip? I think not...he can be quiet, shy and reserved as long as he is not afraid..
not afraid to put his foot down because what his wife wants isn't what she needs or they need as a couple..
not afraid to make that decisions even after discussion with the wife, that needs to be made even if she pouts (shame on us ladies if we pout...) and not afraid to be the man God has called him to be..while loving us and serving us as we serve him.
that being said, if a man that is nerdy or whatever is not desirable that is the reason because he is being a milque toast not because he wears nerdy glasses and a little bit of high water pants.. (and btw as long as they are not high water because he has them pulled up and belted up under his armpits and chest, that look is kind of cute)


Case in point about looks..I once knew a guy who was probably about 150 lbs overweight.. he had a cute face but most importantly he carried himself in such a confident, almost cocky way and he was extremely attractive.. you didn't even see that extra weight anymore.. he dressed kind of rocker looking, he sang, and he was overall just confident..funny and all that..
and this was a man who was a fence sitter spiritually..so of course not the marrying kind for me in the first place..but
you get my point...that his inside confidence affected his looks outside..

bottom line, whoever you are, whatever you look like..groom well, shower, and become the way CHRIST has called a man to become to wants to be married....
and stand your ground...be confident in that and women will just show up around you stumbling over their words
haha

I agree with that completely. Although I don't want kids/marriage and refuse to play the role of provider under any circumstances........I think it's important for men to be who they are, confident in that, have the ability to lead, and a means to support their spouse (Hopefully a high paying job) if they are interested in a traditional Christian marriage.