Sorry i'm Not Gay

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Iokua08

Guest
#1
I'm not really on the look out for my soul mate, in fact I'm not really in a hurry either, when the time is right, it will happen. I meet sweet girls every now and then, but at the moment I'm not ready for a relationship. The funny thing, or maybe awkward thing is, that I get hit on by guys...... Does that sound funny or just weird? I could just be hanging out with the guys, running errands, or even in school and random guys would just start checking me out and start flirting. I don't take it offensively, but I have to admit it makes me very uncomfortable. The worst part is that I don't even know how to react. In most cases, I just smile and play along, trying my best to not give them any reason to think that I am interested. Usually I'm just in shock, and end up looking like a complete idiot or come off as a jerk. What would you do in my situation?
 

Kakashi

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2007
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#2
I'm not really on the look out for my soul mate, in fact I'm not really in a hurry either, when the time is right, it will happen. I meet sweet girls every now and then, but at the moment I'm not ready for a relationship. The funny thing, or maybe awkward thing is, that I get hit on by guys...... Does that sound funny or just weird? I could just be hanging out with the guys, running errands, or even in school and random guys would just start checking me out and start flirting. I don't take it offensively, but I have to admit it makes me very uncomfortable. The worst part is that I don't even know how to react. In most cases, I just smile and play along, trying my best to not give them any reason to think that I am interested. Usually I'm just in shock, and end up looking like a complete idiot or come off as a jerk. What would you do in my situation?
If you really KNOW a guy is hitting on you, just politely say "hey, sorry but I don't swing that way."
But only if you're really sure. Some guys are just REALLY friendly haha
 
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dustyzafu

Guest
#3
But only if you're really sure. Some guys are just REALLY friendly haha
Right. Unless you're living in a gay neighborhood or working in a gay bookstore, if someone's giving you the time of day he's probably just being sociable. It's the complaint of many a woman - if you smile at a guy, he thinks you're flirting with him. It may have just been a smile.
 

Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,565
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#4
Why do you just "smile and play along"? That won't make them think you're not interested.

Just say.....listen buddy I'm not gay, and you shouldn't be either.
 
Sep 2, 2009
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#5
dont act gay and gays wont be interested.
 

Kakashi

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2007
626
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#6
dont act gay and gays wont be interested.
You have not been around gay men have you? that's like telling a women " Don't act interested in the guy and he won't be interested in you"
 
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Matthew

Guest
#7
I once had a gay man make it known to myself and all our co-workers that he found me attractive, I was 18 and had very little idea how to deal with it, but once he gleefully made it public knowledge I just had to live with it, everybody knew that I was straight so there was nothing to do, but I know how akward it makes you feel.

You should make it clear to the person in question you are straight and not at all interested as soon as they make it clear they are interested because the longer you wait the more time you have to talk yourself out of saying anything and that just makes it more uncomfortable for longer, don't just go along with it, there's no reason you should put up with unwelcome advances, no matter who they are coming from.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
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#8
You have not been around gay men have you? that's like telling a women " Don't act interested in the guy and he won't be interested in you"
I can vouch for this one (not personally, as I'm not a man :)) but I've seen it happen numerous times. My ex-husband, when I was with him, was regularly a target of gay men's approval...

I also work with two guys right now, straight as can be, who also often find themselves as the objects of fixation by some of the gay males that shop where I work... they certainly do nothing to bring it on and some of the ones interested in are rather persistent and even aggressive at times.

I once worked with a guy who was very openly gay--I think he was trying to test the limits a bit when I first met him to see how I would react... He walked straight up to me and said, "I like boys."

I looked him squarely in the eyes, gave him a half-smile, and said, "SO DO I. Look, we have something in common!" And he never gave me problems after that. (One of my fellow female co-workers was set on trying to make him decide to be straight, but it didn't work out.)

If the guy is just casual and somewhat friendly, I would suggest being polite and shrugging it off to begin with (I agree with some of the other posts here that it might possibly be just a very friendly guy), but if you're dealing with someone more aggressive, I would definitely put my foot down and explain, politely but firmly, where you stand.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
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#9
There is no "right way" to respond, but for goodness sake don't play along with it unless you want to lead them on.
 
Mar 18, 2009
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#10
I'm what some would call a gym rat....i might as well live there. But I get hit on a couple of times a month by other girls. I don'rt let it bother me. It is honestly a little flattering I think.
 
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Iokua08

Guest
#11
LOL, Morrisontexas, thats sort of true for me to, I'm into working out, but I like doing most of it outdoors..... I don't like working out to much times a week, I like to let my body grow into its expanding muscles.... LOL whatever that means.... But I'm really into just being as healthy and fit as I possibly can get. At the end its about feeling good on the inside out.