ChristianMingle, EHarmony, or real life

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vkalgren2

Guest
#1
What do ya think about Christian Mingle and E Harmony? What about real life? Thoughts? Judgments?
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#2
Proceed only with great caution.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#3
I joined Christian Mingle a few months ago because people on this site were discussing a personality test that they do and I wanted to take it. I browsed through some of the profiles there, but nothing jumped out at me enough to motivate me to pay for the ability to contact them. I keep getting email alerts that they have found the perfect match for me, but I haven't even looked at the profiles in several weeks. I don't even know my password anymore.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#4
I actually preferred match over both of them. Since it's not a Christian site, I didn't find as many people pretending to be more spiritual than they were.
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#5
my brother met his wife on c. mingle and they're happy--four kiddos kind of happiness! :)

i'm not much for the online dating thing, though at one time i was on eharmony, and met some nice guys. most of them were divorced and HIGHLY motivated... but that might not be different from any other pool of candidates.

if you live in a small town, like i did, it can be hard to meet anyone other than bubba and earl at the town pump. otherwise, a larger town/city might offer more options than just the online ones.

but i'm not sure how safe it is, honestly. most of the major sites have settled cases with victims/former customers. you've got to be very careful.
 
R

Richie_2uk

Guest
#6
Trusting in God for matching making, Why Pay websites for a robot to calculate the match for you? Who knows better than a silly little robot to match you with the right person other than God?
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#7
I have used CM, Match, OKCupid, and (ugh) PlentyOfFish, all to basically ZERO results. That's not to say they can't work; a close friend of mine married the woman he met on eHarmony last March.

(My issue more has to do with geography, as the population of the city I live in is overwhelmingly filled with the confess-on-Sunday-sin-on-Monday Catholic. There are some genuine practicing Catholics who don't use their baptism and confession as a life-long hall pass, but they're a rare breed where I live. Props to my Catholic brothers here on CC...I don't know of any sisters...who actually live the gospel, because you are very much the minority.)
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,324
2,413
113
#8
What do ya think about Christian Mingle and E Harmony? What about real life? Thoughts? Judgments?
Meet people in REAL LIFE?
ARE YOU CRAZY????

: )

I prefer meeting people in real life,
but I DO wish real life came with an ignore button.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#9
Trusting in God for matching making, Why Pay websites for a robot to calculate the match for you? Who knows better than a silly little robot to match you with the right person other than God?
For the same reason we leave the house and go to the grocery store or garden to get food, even though we pray for, and trust God to give us our daily bread. :p

Our salvation rests 100% on Jesus. He does all the lifting on that.
But on other things we do need to put forth some effort.
 

eugenius

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#10
These people have no idea what my match is. 95% of the people listed as my matches have very little in common with me. I'm talking about OkCupid but these sites are all the same. It seems like OkCupid finds people who say they are Christian and have nothing else in common with me, and lists them as my matches.

Sadly I have a lot more in common with many people who are agnostic or atheist. Many people who say they are christian still hang out in bars and party and act stupid. And apparently they are my match because they claim to be Christian.
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#11
That's a good one!! but I DO wish real life came with an ignore button. :D


Meet people in REAL LIFE?
ARE YOU CRAZY????

: )

I prefer meeting people in real life,
but I DO wish real life came with an ignore button.
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#12
I have several success stories in my church for people who met online. But still, for me, these are exceptions. I don't build on exceptions.

You have to be Friends First with the person you wanna date. Real friends and not pretending or finding it hard to be friends. You have to see each other genuinely and not trying to show off or pretend to be someone you are not. That would turn me off right away. When people go to online dating they can easily lie. Plus how come you talk to someone you don't know when you have pre-set mind on she/he might be the one??? You don't even know them!!! It also puts a pressure on your while talking to them cuz both of you do have set minds on she/he might be the one. That's insane!!!
When you genuinely talk to people for the sake of getting to know them without any other pre-set intentions, it's a lot nicer. If God wants both of you to be together, He will make things moves so smoothly. If not, then you might end up as friends only or nothing at all, which is also fine.

I never used online dating and will never use it. Plus I'm SURE 1000% that my High expectations will NOT be found there at all!!
 
A

Arwen4CJ

Guest
#13
I'd rather meet people in real life. However, it is really tricky to meet eligible single men where I live.

This has caused me to create accounts on dating sites, with the hope that God will bring someone into my life that way. However, I'm kind of sick of what usually happens on dating sites. The bad ones ruin the sites for me for awhile, before I feel like using dating sites again.

Regardless of whether or not it is a Christian dating site, allows me to say that I'm Christian, allows me to say that I am looking for a Christian man -- I tend to end up with non-Christians messaging me. I also end up with guys who are looking for a fling -- "friends with benefits/sex buddies" kind of thing. I get so disgusted by these guys.

Then there are guys that seem nice, but they are really clingy, or want things to happen right away. They want us to meet before we even get to know one another. I don't like that. I want to be valued for who I am as a person, and I want to get to know someone that I meet online before meeting them in person.

Then there are the "Christians" who do not actually believe. Their faith isn't important to them. They are just nominal Christians. There are others who lie and say they are Christian just to get a "good" girl.

I think the dating sites can work, but you have to weed through a lot of junk. I waver back and forth on them.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#14
I b thikin realz life
 
A

Arwen4CJ

Guest
#15
These people have no idea what my match is. 95% of the people listed as my matches have very little in common with me. I'm talking about OkCupid but these sites are all the same. It seems like OkCupid finds people who say they are Christian and have nothing else in common with me, and lists them as my matches.

Sadly I have a lot more in common with many people who are agnostic or atheist. Many people who say they are christian still hang out in bars and party and act stupid. And apparently they are my match because they claim to be Christian.
The one thing I like about OK Cupid is the questions. You at least have an idea of someones morals values, and faith by how they answer the questions.

The problem is that most of the people who use the site are a bit "less old fashioned" than me in terms of sex. I want to wait until after I am married, but most of those on the site think of dating as being equivalent to sex, even among those who identify as Christian.
 
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
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#16
... but most of those on the site think of dating as being equivalent to sex, even among those who identify as Christian.
Don't let Jullianna see that :p We just put a lid on that can!! :)
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#17
I joined E-Harmony once, but I thought it was a voice-tuner website that would improve my singing.

Needless to say I'm still a terrible singer (and now my heart is out of tune as well!!!).



Again, I wrote that to be funny, but it just sounds so sad. I need to think more before I type!!!
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#18
All three if you really want to cover your bases. Never do Plenty of Fish it sucks. Ok Cupid is alright ive had soem dates off of it, but nothing serious. I dont pay for automated matchmakers though. Better off going out and doing things in real life.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#19
Not into dating sites. I signed up for a couple free ones just to get a look around. All the profiles i found didn't fit well with anything. And i didn't get noticed by anyone myself. I think only women from Asia ever tried to contact me. Which i found odd and more than a coincidence. So, personally, not into the idea of dating sites. Though if that's what someone else wants to do, go for it.
I am find with finding someone online. I have actually dated more women online than off. And as far as claims that you can't get to know a person online, i can say that that is not true. In fact i have had more success online Because i get to know people better, and they me. When you meet in person there are usually time and even attention restrictions. Someone has another meeting, to be at work early, etc.. so they are often eager to get home. You meet someone online and they are likely to have more free time. More chances to talk without someone else coming up and interrupting and breaking up the conversation, such as at church. No live bands, or too loud overhead music. No coffee grinders. Just two people with time to spare, and being able to be more focused.
And the safety factor people love to push is really exaggerated. Granted, there might be a slight increase in the possibility of someone being dishonest about themselves, you can remedy some of those concerns easily. Skype is a great way around this.
But a person can be just as easily deceptive about what kind of person they are offline, as they can be online. I could still act and present myself in one way on a date, or dating, then go home and beat my wife every night. And that person i met in real life would never know.
 
C

cubfan716

Guest
#20
Don't agree with it. I am letting God write my love story. Instead of focusing my energy of looking for someone or have a website do it for me I will set my eyes on Christ!

These sites take the beauty of a God-written love story away. I'm not saying that it isn't possible. God works in many ways but our God is a God of blessings and surprises so why not allow him to write our love story.

For me, yes I get lonely or feel it sometimes, yes I would like to be in a relationship, but I'm am waiting on my Lord to show me the way! Like the bible says...Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart (Psalm 37:4)