The time you've been single is irrelevant, I think

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cyphercat

cyphercat

Banned
#1
Jun 22, 2013
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#1
I wanted to extend this to other singles.
I used to think that the amount of time I had been single would be a factor in finding a spouse.
But now I do not believe this is true.
If you let this sink down in your ears, it will change you.
So this is for some of you.
It has changed me for the better.
It will help you put some of your vexation to rest.
But whether you have been single for 11 years or 11 seconds is of no consequence where God is concerned, I think.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#2
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
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Indiana
#2
long term singleness effects you.

I have spent 31 years alone, almost 32 now. its changed me. I grew to where I can not stand being around people. honestly Id say the ability for me to even have a relationship with a female died long long ago.
 
cyphercat

cyphercat

Banned
#3
Jun 22, 2013
380
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#3
wisebeardman said:
long term singleness effects you.

I have spent 31 years alone, almost 32 now. its changed me. I grew to where I can not stand being around people. honestly Id say the ability for me to even have a relationship with a female died long long ago.
Click to expand...
Oh it certainly does effect the individual.
I don't think our ability to have a relationship dies though. I think it just lies dormant.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#4
May 3, 2013
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Singleness is relevant.

That time serve them (an us) to know what to do.

Some probably would like to have someone side by side, children, a home... Who knows? Those who want it, those who knew they are, alone or singled.

But time passes away. I have licked a song of Avril Lavigne, "Missing you", its video talks with the images, but each person is free to make her/his choice.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#5
#5
Sometimes I think it's good to be as inexperienced as possible when you enter into a relationship. Innocence is valuable. And I'm not talking of virginity or sexual purity,which are also important, but of the heart, which is even more important. When a heart has been hurt, crushed, or deceived, is harder to trust and easier to push away love. There is fear, and there is no love in fear.

When I'm in a real relationship and married, I want to love without fear or conditions. That's why I want to avoid getting into relationships with the wrong men or for the wrong reasons. I know nobody assures me I'm going to be fine, and very probably I'll be hurt by someone, who knows...but my greatest fear would be ruining my perception of love after being hurt. My prayer is that whatever happens in my singleness, whoever I meet and whatever I do, that God would make me a godly woman through all of that.

The lenght of time you have been single may be irrelevant, but what God is doing during that season is very relevant.

Good thread!
 
W

ww_21

Guest
#6
#6
I think it's healthy to be single for a period of time. It gives you time to learn things about yourself you may not have discovered while in a relationship.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#7
May 3, 2013
8,719
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@ Kayem

Loving is a risk, no warranty given.

It took me more than 20 years to love the way I knew I love and, "innocently", I chose the wrong person (and I was the wrong man she needed).

The good thing is I knew -again- what love is, how concerned a person is and the way she or he could be involved with that person and those emotions.

We latin people, pitifully, are less responsible than the way I percieved saxon culture (I could be wrong, but I see these more committed to marriage than latin people)
 
S

Sponge_Bob

Guest
#8
#8
idk tho because i think its kinda like a fight. When you start fighting you may either win or lose. If you win great and you may learn something. If you lose it's still a great experience because you learn something. I know what it feels like to win and I know what it feels like to lose. I'd rather be a person that has experienced being a winner and a loser than be a person who has never tried do fight at all. I know the pain of having my heart broken. Does that make me afraid to love a woman again? Of course not. All I know is how it feels to have your heart broken. What is better than innocence is a person who gets knocked down but gets back up and tries again.
 
S

samiquenga

Guest
#9
#9
It's never about the time. Its about what we DO with that time.

It's in how we view our singleness. So many people forget that God created us individually. We are to be comfortable with that. Accept yourself in your alone time. Learn who you are and what you stand for, drive yourself toward Christ. Our focus should be on pleasing the Lord. I'm not saying that it isn't easy, but it is simple.

People put too much emphasis on being single and "alone". Everyone is all about "soul mates" and "other halves" but remember you are a whole just as you are single and all.
 
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