Marriage makes the love, not love makes the marraige

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thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#1
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#1
[h=1]“Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance, through which He wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to His glory, and calls into His kingdom. In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal - it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.”[/h]
​
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
, ​
Letters and Papers from Prison

Marriage makes the love, not love makes the marriage

How many of us are like:

I just don't find them that attractive - look in the mirror
He just has so many problems - and you don't?
I have to test drive first - check your salvation if that comes from your heart, because it just did
If your insecure - you have no security to give a woman - so find some
If you don't have a life - why would you invite a woman to nothing?
Legacy is marriage - not fleeting pleasure of sin - if you don't want a legacy - don't get married
I want my spouse to solve all my needs - says - I want a god to worship me

If you can respect, follow, and see fruits of the Spirit, fruits of repentance in a man - tune in

If you can find a woman that you can see how respectful she is, the fruits of the Spirit, of repentance, and she's willing to follow you, listens to you - tune in

I know we like to post light hearted, funny stuff on singleness in here, but how can we look at the sewage of this world, the degredation of marriage - a Covenant to illustrate Jesus Christ and His Church - and not take singleness serious? God help me

 
Percepi

Percepi

Banned
#2
Feb 16, 2014
903
2
0
#2
I completely disagree.

Marriage is a promise between two people to stay together until they pass on. For Christians, it's a promise made with God as their witness. It isn't a magical love potion.

You brought up degradation of marriage. If marriage strengthens relationships, why are so many people getting divorced or finding themselves in unhappy marriages? Yes, there are many reasons why people are becoming more and more unhappy with their marriages, but it's clear marriage isn't saving their relationships.
 
Shawn2516

Shawn2516

Senior Member
#3
Dec 20, 2013
154
1
0
#3
Virtue holds marriages together, but marriages don't produce virtuous people.
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#4
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#4
Percepi said:
I completely disagree.

Marriage is a promise between two people to stay together until they pass on. For Christians, it's a promise made with God as their witness. It isn't a magical love potion.

You brought up degradation of marriage. If marriage strengthens relationships, why are so many people getting divorced or finding themselves in unhappy marriages? Yes, there are many reasons why people are becoming more and more unhappy with their marriages, but it's clear marriage isn't saving their relationships.
Click to expand...

I don't refer to what the Godless call marriage
 
A

AcidBurn

Guest
#5
#5
thecreationtutor said:
I don't refer to what the Godless call marriage
Click to expand...
Divorce rates in the christian community are going up if i am not misstaken....

thecreationtutor said:
If you can respect, follow, and see fruits of the Spirit, fruits of repentance in a man - tune in

If you can find a woman that you can see how respectful she is, the fruits of the Spirit, of repentance, and she's willing to follow you, listens to you - tune in
Click to expand...
I think it is exactly this attitude that creates all the problems.
You make it sound easy, simple.

It may not feel right... or loving, but try to see the negative things in that person.
Can you live with that?
Are you really really sure you can spend the rest of your life waking up next to that person?
Do you feel attracted to that person?
Are you wise enough to judge the person correctly?
Do your (wise) friends think you are a good match?

etc....

If divorce is such a problem (also for christians...) than you should see it as an
immediate threat to YOUR future relationship.
See marriage like this: A lot of marriages end in divorce, many other still hold but they are crumbling and loveless.
If i want mine to succeed, i have to be wise in my choice and work my butt off.
(and the other party must be willing to do the same)

Then marrige may not be that difficult......
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#6
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#6
AcidBurn said:
Divorce rates in the christian community are going up if i am not misstaken....

I think it is exactly this attitude that creates all the problems.
You make it sound easy, simple.

It may not feel right... or loving, but try to see the negative things in that person.
Can you live with that?
Are you really really sure you can spend the rest of your life waking up next to that person?
Do you feel attracted to that person?
Are you wise enough to judge the person correctly?
Do your (wise) friends think you are a good match?

etc....

If divorce is such a problem (also for christians...) than you should see it as an
immediate threat to YOUR future relationship.
See marriage like this: A lot of marriages end in divorce, many other still hold but they are crumbling and loveless.
If i want mine to succeed, i have to be wise in my choice and work my butt off.
(and the other party must be willing to do the same)

Then marriage may not be that difficult......
Click to expand...
There are tares in the Church, you do realize that - and sometimes we might mistakenly marry one. satan seeks to destroy marriages at any chance he gets

Godliness and holiness above all in what your looking for you cannot control the other person - you can only do your part - and I would agree in part

You can be wise and you can find and be the persons I am talking about - it doesn't mean that it is going to be easy, even if both are that way.

A God honoring, God defined Marriage takes work - Love is a choice - Marriage makes the Love
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#7
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#7
Percepi said:
I completely disagree.

Marriage is a promise between two people to stay together until they pass on. For Christians, it's a promise made with God as their witness. It isn't a magical love potion.

You brought up degradation of marriage. If marriage strengthens relationships, why are so many people getting divorced or finding themselves in unhappy marriages? Yes, there are many reasons why people are becoming more and more unhappy with their marriages, but it's clear marriage isn't saving their relationships.
Click to expand...
Without love, there is no marriage. Without respect, there is no marriage. Without understanding and caring there is no marriage. Both sides need to participate in marriage. Too often these days, people get married on a whim. They have a warped perception of love so hey why not get hitched and get it done with? People need to take the time to get to know, REALLY know their potential spouse inside and out. Likes and dislikes, securities and insecurities. What makes them happy, or sad or angry. Whether its love or purely lust. Whether its only a one-time fling, or a long lasting relationship. Marriage doesnt save relationships. LOVE, true love, saves marriages. If you absolutely cant save your marriage as lovers, then try to at least part as friends.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#8
#8
All I want to say is seek for God only,
after that things will be on God's decision..
 
C

cphilippe85

Guest
#9
#9
Great post. Thanks for sharing this encouragement. I needed to hear it. Marriage is a selfless act, a willingness to care for others more than yourself. Without expecting anything in return.
 
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