Single peeps being single...

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Malcyboy

Guest
#1
yo single dude here, I am tired of so many ministries stuffing marriage down our necks...I understand that marriage is godly and stuff, but so is being single for Jesus!!

so let this thread be our stand that we single people are awesome and still single!! :p anyone agree with me?
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#2
yo single dude here, I am tired of so many ministries stuffing marriage down our necks...I understand that marriage is godly and stuff, but so is being single for Jesus!!

so let this thread be our stand that we single people are awesome and still single!! :p anyone agree with me?
Yo, Malcy!! Long time no chat. :) I agree, there are a lot of ministries out there really try to stuff marriage down people's throats instead of leaving single people content. While it is good to learn about the amazing plans God has in both singleness and marriage, we should follow what God wants us to do. If He calls us to be single, then so be it. :)
 
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Raine

Guest
#3
We have a pastor here who promotes marriage and being single! :) Both are awesome, all for the glory of God. I'm single right now and loving it! It's such a great time to ground myself in the Lord and to learn to not depend on anyone else except God.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#4
My church doesn't do that so much, probably because there's only one single guy in the whole church. I should feel neglected.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#5
I've had marriage stuffed down my neck for as long as I can remember and still not married and nothing even on the radar.

Church just doesn't cater for single people and those that want to be. Since so few want to be single they're not going to invest any time into such people. Return on investment anybody?

Funny thing is Jesus was single all His life. John the Baptist wasn't married either by the looks of it.
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#6
I've had marriage stuffed down my neck for as long as I can remember and still not married and nothing even on the radar.

Church just doesn't cater for single people and those that want to be. Since so few want to be single they're not going to invest any time into such people. Return on investment anybody?

Funny thing is Jesus was single all His life. John the Baptist wasn't married either by the looks of it.

I agree that churches often have nothing to cater for single people because, forgive me if I am wrong, they can't have pay-for-conferences on marriage...they can't write 100 books on "How to have biblical marriage" or "valentines day church meals for marrieds only"...I am not saying there is not good books out there on good biblical marriage and conferences and events for couples are good...but i just sometimes feel as you say, why invest in people who are not looking to succeed in a relationship but are rather seeking contentment in their singularity and relationship with God. Married people will pay someone for advice on happy marriage, singles are less likely to pay for conferences on "how to be a happy single" cause from my experience events centered around singe people tend to feel like pity parties haha
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,327
2,358
113
#7
" Jesus disciples then said to him, 'If that is the case, it is better not to marry!' 'Not everyone can accept this statement,' Jesus said."

Matt 19:10-11

Just like to point out that Jesus never contradicted the disciples on this point.

Also worth mentioning that compared to traditional Jewish and Greek culture (and some modern cultures where family is more important that the individual) Christianity was one of the promoters of singleness as an acceptable way of life. It was one of the few belief systems that wasn't saying everyone should marry, and there is a long and glorious history of singleness within the Christian church (as well as a lot of abuses and hypocrisy surrounding this issue). Young people and those yet to marry should be encouraged to consider whether God is calling them to a single life or to marriage.
 
R

rainin

Guest
#8
" Jesus disciples then said to him, 'If that is the case, it is better not to marry!' 'Not everyone can accept this statement,' Jesus said."

Matt 19:10-11

Just like to point out that Jesus never contradicted the disciples on this point.

Also worth mentioning that compared to traditional Jewish and Greek culture (and some modern cultures where family is more important that the individual) Christianity was one of the promoters of singleness as an acceptable way of life. It was one of the few belief systems that wasn't saying everyone should marry, and there is a long and glorious history of singleness within the Christian church (as well as a lot of abuses and hypocrisy surrounding this issue). Young people and those yet to marry should be encouraged to consider whether God is calling them to a single life or to marriage.
Considering whether or not God has called one to be married or single is so important. I know this because I didn't do it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing as it keeps us from repeating mistakes but I could have saved myself a great deal of grief had I done this one simple thing.
 
J

JustinUK

Guest
#9
I agree! Although I would love to get married :S (very weird for my age apparently)
 
Aug 13, 2013
965
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#10
Christian single renewal?

Is there such a thing as Christian single renewal? Can we as singles over 35, 40, 50 etc. go back to the church and be welcomed back?

Do older Christians singles over 35 matter to the church at all? If we are not married by 35 is there still a place for us in the church?

I have read a few articles about older single Christians going back or wanting to go back to church and not finding anything for them to feel a part of. They try other groups but they feel left out. They feel too old among the younger Christians or young married couples and do not feel part of the older grand parents crowd.

This has happened to me also.

Is there a way for the church to bring back and welcome older single Christians or can we find a way to find Christian single fellowship on our own?

What do you think?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#11
I think that's why we're all here.
 
I

isoneedahug

Guest
#12
One way around this is to stick to the women's prayer group, as a woman, or the men's ministry group as a man, this transcends age issues and helps you feel relevant because prayer is relevant no matter the age range.
 
Aug 13, 2013
965
8
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#15
Just tell me the closest place for Christian singles and I will be there. :)
 
S

SabbieWabbie

Guest
#16
as-a-single-girl-coming-up-on-the-holiday-season-all-i-see-are-72217.jpg

My church encourages marriage, and really really young marriage too, once girls reach 18 they already know they getting married soon. I probably have more money than them, and a whole lot more time, which I obviously spend on CC haha.
 
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maesha

Guest
#17
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Does God really want you to be single? God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Do you believe Him for His plan? Believing God and trusting God go hand in hand. Have you ever heard anyone say, “I believe in God,” but they don’t live by his precepts, His principles, His promises that give them the direction they need for their lives?
Live each day with a dream in your heart and a purpose in your life to believe God when life doesn’t make sense, when life doesn’t seem to be going as you had hoped, but when you know that your Heavenly Father knows what’s best.
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#18
Re: Christian single renewal?

Is there such a thing as Christian single renewal? Can we as singles over 35, 40, 50 etc. go back to the church and be welcomed back?

Do older Christians singles over 35 matter to the church at all? If we are not married by 35 is there still a place for us in the church?

I have read a few articles about older single Christians going back or wanting to go back to church and not finding anything for them to feel a part of. They try other groups but they feel left out. They feel too old among the younger Christians or young married couples and do not feel part of the older grand parents crowd.

This has happened to me also.

Is there a way for the church to bring back and welcome older single Christians or can we find a way to find Christian single fellowship on our own?

What do you think?

This is very true! I feel that the church as the entire body has a huge emphasis on marriage. I am not saying we should go so far as to have "Singles only churches" but I do feel that more often that not, singles are kinda made to feel as stragglers. Let not a single one of us, forget that Paul teaches that being single is good! It allows to be solely devoted to a life of serving Christ. Which in my eyes is the greatest privilege ever.

The sad thing is I do not believe this is a doctrinal/biblical issue, I just feel that it is a sociological issue, that marriage is apparently better, the whole bigger is better thing, 2 is more than 1, as well as marriage is the only pure, undefiled sexual outlet in life, thus people fearing to fight and deal with masturbation and to actually put their faith in God and gain self-control over their urges, find marriage a really safe outlet, sexual urges are under control aaaaand they are doing so in a pure and god-pleasing way.

To come back to the original point now, due to what I just said, I kinda feel like sometimes pastors, specifically married pastors, do not know how to be efficient and to deal well as a single person.. and so just kinda don't counsel and disciple people in the fruit and the truly God-pleasing lifestyle of the single person. Sometimes, during marriage teachings etc, they say very little in regards to single people, but they alwaaaaays reiterate "If you want to be married, always pray God brings you the right one! because God has prepared a spouse for everyone!" which that statement in itself is erroneous because if God has so called you to single life, then your "destined partner" is then left without a partner, which too me would seem illogical..

*rant over* :D
 
A

Arlene89

Guest
#19
The amount of times I've sat down with married friends for coffee, and they take my hands, look at me with their crazy frazzled hair and twitching eyes and say, "ARLENE, stay single as long as you possibly can." Then I stir them up and tell them about all the adventures and travelling I've done on my spare time just after they complain about house payments and the likes (I can be mean).

But seriously. I love serving my church, having coffee with the elderly, helping out with children's church, slowly getting involved in worship team, going out for a young adults night. I can give/share my time, strength, listening ear, talents, gifts, tasteless jokes etc. to lots of people. I have more emotional energy to distribute out whereas I know it would be a different story for me if I was in a relationship or married.

At this point in life, I'm having so much fun getting to know all the people from my church, from the little children to the old timers who pay out all the young adults in good fun. I guess having the joy of being part of a big church family has smothered the inward need to start the process on producing my own family (Which begins with step 1. Find a boyfriend).
 
M

Malcyboy

Guest
#20
The amount of times I've sat down with married friends for coffee, and they take my hands, look at me with their crazy frazzled hair and twitching eyes and say, "ARLENE, stay single as long as you possibly can." Then I stir them up and tell them about all the adventures and travelling I've done on my spare time just after they complain about house payments and the likes (I can be mean).

But seriously. I love serving my church, having coffee with the elderly, helping out with children's church, slowly getting involved in worship team, going out for a young adults night. I can give/share my time, strength, listening ear, talents, gifts, tasteless jokes etc. to lots of people. I have more emotional energy to distribute out whereas I know it would be a different story for me if I was in a relationship or married.

At this point in life, I'm having so much fun getting to know all the people from my church, from the little children to the old timers who pay out all the young adults in good fun. I guess having the joy of being part of a big church family has smothered the inward need to start the process on producing my own family (Which begins with step 1. Find a boyfriend).

I totally agree with you! being single is great and has so many great blessings attached to it, but I mean, I know in my church, everyone is like 'oh your gonna next to get married!" "oh your not got a girlfriend yet?!" gets pressurising, especially when I dont even have interest in anyone :/

I am enjoying my adventure with God where I am at, and being able to feel free to make spontaneous choices etc.