celebrating the gift of singleness

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#1
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#1
i don't know about you guys, but sometimes i grow a bit weary of the focus some singles place on how incomplete their lives are, and all that they're missing out on.

of course, we all have those feelings from time to time.

i want to shine a spotlight on the positives that come from being single. i want to hear about how your life has been enriched by being on your own. what has the gift of singleness given to you?

what have you accomplished (or are accomplishing) because you've had the freedom to pursue it?

what talents or skills you've adopted through necessity or desire, probably because of being single?

in what ways has being single helped you to become a better version of yourself?
 
B

butterflame

Guest
#2
#2
just_monicat said:
i don't know about you guys, but sometimes i grow a bit weary of the focus some singles place on how incomplete their lives are, and all that they're missing out on.

of course, we all have those feelings from time to time.

i want to shine a spotlight on the positives that come from being single. i want to hear about how your life has been enriched by being on your own. what has the gift of singleness given to you?

what have you accomplished (or are accomplishing) because you've had the freedom to pursue it?

what talents or skills you've adopted through necessity or desire, probably because of being single?

in what ways has being single helped you to become a better version of yourself?
Click to expand...


I totally agree with these. :)
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#3
#3
Being single gave me the chance to travel to Europe all I want. I have this pleasure of doing what I want, when I want, the way I want it to be. I have the chance to focus more on my spiritual growth and be a better person that way. Someone who is closer to God, which in return made it clear to me what do I want in a man if I were to marry at all. I realized that REALLY a Godly man who cares about God first, is the only man who will cherish n' honor you as his wife. So I came into a conclusion if he's not from God's hands, then I'm way better off without him!! :eek:
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#4
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#4
just_monicat said:

what have you accomplished (or are accomplishing) because you've had the freedom to pursue it?

what talents or skills you've adopted through necessity or desire, probably because of being single?

in what ways has being single helped you to become a better version of yourself?
Click to expand...
I have more time to keep up with, pray for, and talk to more people. I've witnessed for Jesus in ways that I might have missed seeing if I had been focused on a significant other... just like what the bible says about single people being focused on pleasing God, instead of their spouses. Also, I can largely do whatever just-for-fun activities I want, without worrying about someone else enjoying it, too.

I am fairly independent, and figured out how to do a lot of three-handed jobs with just two. I'm relatively proficient in power tool skills. :p And I don't feel like I need to be with someone else in order to go places and do things... in fact, my top memories of life in general are all of times when I was alone. I also like the fact that I'm always there. If I was leaning on someone else, they might not be around when I "needed" them.

I think that not being pampered or treated gently has been good for me. If I had someone doing stuff for me, eventually I might turn into someone who was lazy and unmotivated. I've learned how to do a lot of things that surprise people, and really often I hear "Where did you learn how to do THAT?" and "[first name here], you're amazing." I'm also a lot stronger than I look, and sometimes guys will try to take something heavy from me and end up almost dropping it because it's heavier than they thought. I like my very particular set of skills. :D
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#5
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#5
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#6
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#6
wisebeardman said:
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
Click to expand...
Ah, but you said you didn't want anyone, remember? ;)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
113
#7
All I know is I'm very gifted at staying single. :p
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#8
#8
Maybe it's so easy for some women because they've seen it both ways (being single and married) so they have a better judgement. Maybe God sees that you're better off single for whatever reason that God knows.

What I'm trying to say here is whatever situation you're in, it is for you. It is what's BEST for you right at this moment unless God says otherwise.

Same thing for us single ladies, we are happy with God's gift for us right now until He says otherwise. So no situation is a garbage like you've described it. :D


wisebeardman said:
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
Click to expand...
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#9
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#9
I remember a few years ago, I was at a church retreat and I was speaking to a woman at the altar as I was seeking prayer. I was letting her know the things that God had called me to, one of which was the calling of Pastor's Wife. When she finally prayed for me, I was literally shocked to my core by one of the things she said:

"Lord God, please show Julie that she doesn't need to be married to move forward in Your call for her. Show her that she can do great things as a single woman, and help her let go of the holding pattern of her life in regards to waiting on her spouse to arrive."

Most pray for one to have patience. After this prayer, I fully embraced my freedom and did, in fact, stop waiting for my spouse. Not in the realm of intimacy and such, obviously, but in the realm of moving forward with boldness in the call God has for my life. I am not hindered by my singleness. I embrace it and welcome it. :) I am in no hurry to marry and am actually quite content to remain single for my entire life. :) All glory and honor to God and Jesus Christ! :)
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#10
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#10
wisebeardman said:
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
Click to expand...
I've never had anyone ever and I truly do consider my singleness a gift. :) In fact, I consider it a blessing.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#11
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#11
mystdancer50 said:
"Lord God, please show Julie that she doesn't need to be married to move forward in Your call for her. Show her that she can do great things as a single woman, and help her let go of the holding pattern of her life in regards to waiting on her spouse to arrive."
Click to expand...
I wish someone had told me the same when I "surrendered to be a missionary's wife." I wanted to do great things for the Lord, but I thought I had to be married first. What a blessing for you to have heard those timely words of wisdom!

It's pretty interesting that i just heard a message from June Hunt with Hope for the Heart Ministries about singleness. The gift of singleness is to serve God without distraction, though the case could be made that there are more distractions as a single parent. There is some empowerment of being the head of my household, and I like the freedom to go or help with only childcare or funding as limiting factors.
 
S

Servant_of_Christ

Guest
#12
#12
Being single has helped me find out who I am in God's eyes and has helped me to trust in the Lord and not in relationships because he is the only one that stays the same at the end of the day :)
 
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#13
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#13
wisebeardman said:
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
Click to expand...
i believe it's a blessing, simply because the bible tells me it is. and therefore, i choose to accept it as that.

the fact is, my life HAS been enriched by being single. just in the same way, being in a relationship, or marriage can be a blessing.

was Paul cursed or blessed with singleness? 1 corinthians 7 seems to speak the latter.

the truth is, there are blessings that accompany both. many singles seem only to focus on what they're missing out on. fortunately, i have some married friends who do a good job of reminding me of what they're missing out on.

i'd like to see more singles focus on what is good in their life while they have the opportunity to enjoy it. : )
 
Last edited:
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#14
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#14
PopClick said:
Ah, but you said you didn't want anyone, remember? ;)
Click to expand...
I said I quit caring. just like I could care less if I died right now. makes no matter to me.

IloveyouGod said:
Maybe it's so easy for some women because they've seen it both ways (being single and married) so they have a better judgement. Maybe God sees that you're better off single for whatever reason that God knows.

What I'm trying to say here is whatever situation you're in, it is for you. It is what's BEST for you right at this moment unless God says otherwise.

Same thing for us single ladies, we are happy with God's gift for us right now until He says otherwise. So no situation is a garbage like you've described it. :D
Click to expand...
again pointed out. YOU HAVE had someone in your life at some point. easy to say its all good when you have had it before. some NEVER get the chance to have someone.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#15
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#15
just_monicat said:
i believe it's a blessing, simply because the bible tells me it is. and therefore, i choose to accept it as that.

the fact is, my life HAS been enriched by being single. just in the same way, being in a relationship, or marriage can be a blessing.

was Paul cursed or blessed with singleness? 1 corinthians 7 seems to speak the latter.

the truth is, there are blessings that accompany both. many singles seem only to focus on what they're missing out on. fortunately, i have some married friends who do a good job of reminding me of what they're missing out on.

i'd like to see more singles focus on what is good in their life while they have the opportunity to enjoy it. : )
Click to expand...
I have found it nothing more then a slap in the face "look at what you never get ha ha ha"

as for focus on whats good? HA yeah... whats good.. I cant see anything good here.
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#16
#16
[h=1]mystdancer50 never had anyone in her life and she feels the same like us. She's the only one you didn't comment on her post to you. Why?!![/h]

wisebeardman said:
I said I quit caring. just like I could care less if I died right now. makes no matter to me.



again pointed out. YOU HAVE had someone in your life at some point. easy to say its all good when you have had it before. some NEVER get the chance to have someone.
Click to expand...
 
C

cara26

Guest
#17
#17
I love being single , I get to focus more stronger on the lord of course.

Relying on myself gives me a more independent feel and self accomplishment feeling when I do achieve something. Not having to answer or explain yourself all the time why you've done something or made a decision is refreshing.

I feel less distracted being single and get things done much quicker which kind of makes me more happier because I like things to be done. Knowing that I don't have to rely on a man to make happy and complete makes me stronger person.

In saying all of this tho, I do miss being in a relationship at times....and Im looking forward to meeting that right person!
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#18
#18
I've always wondered how much my life would change if I wasn't single. Right now, when I seriously consider life with a boyfriend, I feel a little anxious at the thought. I don't know how I would accomodate someone else into my life's circumstances. I know it's not impossible and that God would certainly make a way, but I feel that in the last couple of years I wouldn't have been able to give someone else the necessary attention he would need. I still feel like that some days, but maybe I'm wrong. As for today, I'm just trying to make the best out of my singleness and enjoy the gift God has given me :).
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#19
Oct 1, 2013
594
280
63
#19
wisebeardman said:
its so easy for those who have had someone in the past, claim this "gift of singleness" garbage.

try NEVER having anyone ever. then tell me how its a "gift"
Click to expand...

Wow, you sound like someone who just lost his mother and yelling at this other guy, who is an orphan and never knew his mother, that he is in a better position than you because he never had to experience the pain of losing mother.

NEVER having anyone ever - I assume you are still a virgin, whether by your choice or not, right?
There you go, one of the greatest gift you can give to your future wife, ever, period.

My previous relationships, involving sex outside of marriage, did damage my sexuality, which I was suppose to guard and save for the intimacy that God intended for me to enjoy with my wife. I now know how important it is and the significance of having to guard and saving it for the one.

My friend, it is, indeed, the best gift you can give to your wife.
 
Last edited:
M

mykim

Guest
#20
#20
I am also beginning my journey to see what it means to be content and single in Christ. The only thing that might be an obstacle is my neediness for affection and loneliness. I just hope Christ reveals his love for me somehow.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.