Deal Breakers, Red Flags, Must Haves and the Wish List.

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DarlinNadia

Guest
#61
Decry=publicly denounce.

Given that was your first response to the Original Post, I took your comment as a sweeping criticism of Liamson's redflags.

If I was wrong in this, then I was wrong in my criticism and apologize.
Given the amount of response I received I became aware quickly that it was highly misunderstood. Later in the thread I explained my post a bit better.

When I was younger, I used to find injustice in people and (decry) feed them back their own medicine ten fold... like a moral vigilante. It took me ages to realize this was God's job.

Decry is a far cooler word than publicly ostracize and ridicule people in humiliation until they were backed into a corner and see the error of their ways.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#62
These are mostly tongue in cheek... but also true. lol

Deal Breakers:
Not female or was not female previously; not a believer; doesn't like me.

Red Flags: Talks like a man; says they are a Christian cause they were baptized when they were 2; has a tan line on their ring finger; gives me the evil eye.

Must Haves: Brains that work and I don't mean extreme intelligence, they just can't be a zombie or dead. Mutual attraction (order of importance; spiritual, mental, and physical). The ability to endure; no fear of commitment projects.

Wish List: A best friend for life. (How many of you just went "Awwww"?)
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#63
Decry=publicly denounce.

Given that was your first response to the Original Post, I took your comment as a sweeping criticism of Liamson's redflags.

If I was wrong in this, then I was wrong in my criticism and apologize.
Oy vey, I can't believe we're still misunderstanding this.

EVERYONE, LOOK.

This is DarlinNadia's post:
DEAL BREAKERS/RED FLAGS - leaning on your own understanding

MUST HAVES/WISH LIST - none listed

Her remark is NOT a criticism of Liamson! It's a list of her deal breakers!

Deal Breakers: Too short

Red Flags: Voluptuous, Blonde
Liamson, I find it amusing that you list a few traits in the negative realm over which the person has virtually no control (maybe save for hair dye or extreme dieting and cosmetic reduction surgery). As if someone has a choice about being short, busty, and fair haired. Everything else you listed was (except perhaps the mental illness types...OCD and whatnot) within the person's power. One can choose to be vegetarian and to learn to drive stick. One does not generally choose to stay five-foot-one for the rest of their life. You didn't list any such uncontrollable (shall we even say, GOD-GIVEN/DICTATED) traits in your positive sides.

Just thought I throw that out there (just to make you think a little).

DEAL BREAKERS FOR SHOUR: Someone who uses parentheticals too often in their posts. ^_^
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#64
It's good to lean on your own understanding?
Psst Shouryu. This was the post that started all the reaction ( I think). But she did write another post to explain her reasoning. I do agree with you that it is time for all of us to just agree that we have different ideas about how to go about relationships and God is big enough to break all our boxes or redeem all of our mistakes (whichever our personality tends toward needing).

(By the way is that enough parentheticals for you, Shour) :p
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#65
hmmmm... i probably left something out. oh well, what a fun exercise.


Deal Breakers:
moody, total follower, dim, detached, uncontrolled/hot temper, doesn't respect my purity standards, liar, pot-smoker, shorter than me, creepy, broken moral compass, sedentary, apathetic, rudeness, misogyny, history/pattern of cheating, passive-agressive, unable to resolve conflict without tactics, negative outlook (whiner)


Red Flags:
major gamers, couch potatoes, clingy, overly-emotional, stoically unemotional, uncommuncative, neat freak/germfreak, bad english, insecure, mercurial, excessive debt, bad spending habits, workaholic tendencies, religiousity/christianese only, smoker, closed book, "women issues", watches a bunch of tv, addiction issues with recent sobriety, pretension, lacking ability to use grammar, lacking a home church, loud and attention seeking


Wish List:
capable of interdependence, lifelong learner, oenophile, confidence, determined, wanderlust, healthy eater, right-brain capabilities, works out, sentimental or romantic tendencies, big shiny lexicon, playful, geekish, competitive, writer, life-hacker, rurally-tolerant, hiker, snowboarder/skiier, animal lover, chivalrous


Must Haves:
curious, answer-seeking intellect, kingdom-minded Christ-following Christian, emotionally mature, kindness, gentleness, co-adventurer, accurate moral compass, compassion for others, humility, makes me laugh, takes responsiblity for personal growth, tolerant/accepting of others
 
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ww_21

Guest
#66
DEAL BREAKERS FOR SHOUR: Someone who uses parentheticals too often in their posts. ^_^
I thought for sure it would be someone who loves OLIVES :p
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#67
I saw a goofy quote on Facebook yesterday that said, Nothing is sexier than someone who wants you just as much as you want them. I guess stalking someone who can't stand you is not sexy.
 
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HisBeloved1

Guest
#68
Hi DarlinNadia.
So seeing the error of your ways in doing this, did you ever go and make amends to these people?

If they were innocent from the beginning especially! Did u ever make it right with them as God tells us to?

...or did u just leave their lives dead in your tracks?

Although Christ will forgive you at the cross, did you make a public apology, etc.? Just wondering what u did to aid in restoring that persons life?

It's definitely not an easy place for one to recover from...
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
#69
Hi DarlinNadia.
So seeing the error of your ways in doing this, did you ever go and make amends to these people?

If they were innocent from the beginning especially! Did u ever make it right with them as God tells us to?

...or did u just leave their lives dead in your tracks?

Although Christ will forgive you at the cross, did you make a public apology, etc.? Just wondering what u did to aid in restoring that persons life?

It's definitely not an easy place for one to recover from...
I left their lives dead in my tracks
 
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HisBeloved1

Guest
#70
So were any of them innocent?
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#71
Deal Breakers: Pagan, Heathen, Atheist, "holier than thou," inability to exist with the natural DNA chromosome assignment, pot head.

Red Flags: Rx abuse, depression, any addiction, procrastinates, lazy, liar, heavily in debt.

Must Haves: Akrick, clean-trim beard, likes Columbo... :rolleyes:

Wish List: Geeky, romantic & happy Mooseburger (no cheese).
 
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HisBeloved1

Guest
#73
Not what I'm doing...just wanted to know what kind of outcome since, thats all.
 
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djness

Guest
#74
If I don't see some marriages taking place here I am going to be convinced ya'll are liars.

Red Flags: Lists they don't abide by.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#75
DEALBREAKER: unsaved,pot head,no sense of humor,hates dogs,uptight personality,overly critical of other's/judgmental,liar,eggagerator.

RED FLAGS: see all of the above!

MUST HAVES: must be a Chirstian (not asking for perfection or a biblical scholar,just someone who is trying & believes Jesus is Lord,died for our sins & rose again)

WISH LIST: someone I can be weird with.
 
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SpottyPyjamas

Guest
#76
^ you had me baffled at eggagerator :D I'm guessing you meant exaggerator ;)
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#77
^ you had me baffled at eggagerator :D I'm guessing you meant exaggerator ;)
Nope...I meant what I typed....it is Easter,yanno! lol
(actually,yes I did mean exaggerator...pesky 5 min rule) ;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#78
Deal Breakers: Pagan, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Too short, Too Fat, Cutter, Drug addict, pot smoker, Alcoholic, Bi-polar, Borderline Personality Disorder, Rage-aholic, Militant Feminist, Schizotypal, Jealous, Disloyal, (real) OCD, germaphobe, Vegan, Stripper, Drug Dealer, Abusive to Animals.

Red Flags: MBTI-"S" type, Horse Lover, Homeopath Enthusiast, Liberal, Smoker, Lots of Tattoos, Lives with Ex-boyfriend, Mountains of Debt, Charismatic, Daddy Issues, Poor Hygiene, Wants truckloads of Kids, Can't Swim, no Diploma, Convicted Felon, Convicted Sex Offender, Voluptuous, Smarmy, Blonde, Hello Kitty, Controlling, Manipulative, Unreasonable, Violent, Afraid of Everything, Crunchy, Obnoxious, Sexually aggressive, Passive aggressive, Lies consistently, Lacks Passion for anything, More than 2 Cats, PTSD, Anxiety, Vegetarian, Masseuse, Cold, Truther.

Must Haves: Christian, Literate, Objective, Honest, Loyal, Trustworthy, Patient, Gracious, Curious, Adventurous, Unselfish, Open, Empathic, Forgiving.

Wish List: Athletic, Tall, Quick Witted, Bi-lingual, Spontaneous, Romantic, Deep, Expressive, Creative, Singer, Poet, Professional, Generous, Well Read, Can Pee Outdoors, Unafraid, Prayer Warrior, Intuitive, Understanding, Well traveled, Competitive, Silly, Cries during sad movies, Prefers a Manual Transmission, Her Father's Favorite, Fisher(wo)man(?), Hiker, Skier, Conversational, Enjoys Running with others, Negotiator, Emotionally Stable, Loves to Laugh, Foodie, Optimist, Musician.



I tend to overlook Red Flags, when the wish list gets long, but eventually this too will pass.



I haven't been around much. I've been busy working and having fun again.

I admit this list isn't fair. But I know that when I don't make lists, I tend to compromise or ignore things about people, because I want to believe the best about people. I can hope in one hand and count the red flags in the other, just to see which one fills up faster.
Well, you have eliminated everyone on the planet.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#79
Well, you have eliminated everyone on the planet.

Everyone on the planet:
Pagan, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Too short, Too Fat, Cutter, Drug addict, pot smoker, Alcoholic, Bi-polar, Borderline Personality Disorder, Rage-aholic, Militant Feminist, Schizotypal, Jealous, Disloyal, (real) OCD, germaphobe, Vegan, Stripper, Drug Dealer, Abusive to Animals.

 

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
Apr 5, 2013
185
5
18
#80
I have just one question for Liamson:

WHAT IS CRUNCHY?