D
This has likely been brought up before. I tried checking but I did not see anything relevant that wasn't a zombie thread at best.
Divorced people with Kids. Okay, anyone with children understands this. Kids do not require full on attention until you pick up the phone or you begin to have a conversation with a friend... or worse.. a friend of the opposite gender. I do not know if Jealousy kicks in or what.. but today when I was at the pool with my daughter... I was speaking to a lady and her kids were like Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom... my kid was fine and didn't seek my attention because she was playing with these other kids and enjoyed some time with other kids i guess. I had taken a photo of my kid with another girl (naturally, I asked permission first) and I walked over to the girl's father and asked him if he wanted me to send him a copy of this photo (i always ask other parents and offer to send them the photo) he declined but the moment I spoke to the man, my kid was at my heels... listening in..... very suspicious.. I went back to my pool area and while she was playing I made a phone call... when her friend left, she demanded my attention, even so much as to stumble over her own feet as if she had hurt herself to make sure she captured my attention. I explained I was talking to a friend and offered to let my kid say hi.. but she was very clear, No thank you, I don't want to talk to that person, I want to talk to my mom. This isn't rude to me, I've taught her to be very clear with her words and as long as she is curious, respectful, and not whiny, then what she says is not offensive.
I recall my son when he was young and I began dating... it was a horrible thing because he was very suspicious and I'd go so far as to say jealous and fearful of losing mommy to this strange man... sharing attention>>> ???
Now, Here comes a kicker: When I met my ex-husband, my son was always always always put before this man. I realize now I did it wrong. The guy felt like he couldn't correct MY kid, the kid wouldn't listen to him because he wasn't HIS father.. it was a struggle to say the least.
I firmly believe that priorities should go: God, Jesus, Spouse, Child, extended family and community and job and whatever else including BOYFRIENDS... sorry. but ug.. they are last on my list... because unless they are in it forever... I do not know their staying power... will they outlast the bill being delivered after dinner? lol
The problem I see is this: Setting a standard that cannot be corrected later. The ONLY way I see around this is to keep the Prospective date (spouse) away from said children until marriage?? it just seems impossible, plus I need to know how the person is around my children.
My son is 23 - he's a grown man... my daughter is 7... and so very precious to me.
Since I'm Divorced.. how does this dating happen without ruining the pecking order??
Does anyone even understand what I mean?
Divorced people with Kids. Okay, anyone with children understands this. Kids do not require full on attention until you pick up the phone or you begin to have a conversation with a friend... or worse.. a friend of the opposite gender. I do not know if Jealousy kicks in or what.. but today when I was at the pool with my daughter... I was speaking to a lady and her kids were like Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom... my kid was fine and didn't seek my attention because she was playing with these other kids and enjoyed some time with other kids i guess. I had taken a photo of my kid with another girl (naturally, I asked permission first) and I walked over to the girl's father and asked him if he wanted me to send him a copy of this photo (i always ask other parents and offer to send them the photo) he declined but the moment I spoke to the man, my kid was at my heels... listening in..... very suspicious.. I went back to my pool area and while she was playing I made a phone call... when her friend left, she demanded my attention, even so much as to stumble over her own feet as if she had hurt herself to make sure she captured my attention. I explained I was talking to a friend and offered to let my kid say hi.. but she was very clear, No thank you, I don't want to talk to that person, I want to talk to my mom. This isn't rude to me, I've taught her to be very clear with her words and as long as she is curious, respectful, and not whiny, then what she says is not offensive.
I recall my son when he was young and I began dating... it was a horrible thing because he was very suspicious and I'd go so far as to say jealous and fearful of losing mommy to this strange man... sharing attention>>> ???
Now, Here comes a kicker: When I met my ex-husband, my son was always always always put before this man. I realize now I did it wrong. The guy felt like he couldn't correct MY kid, the kid wouldn't listen to him because he wasn't HIS father.. it was a struggle to say the least.
I firmly believe that priorities should go: God, Jesus, Spouse, Child, extended family and community and job and whatever else including BOYFRIENDS... sorry. but ug.. they are last on my list... because unless they are in it forever... I do not know their staying power... will they outlast the bill being delivered after dinner? lol
The problem I see is this: Setting a standard that cannot be corrected later. The ONLY way I see around this is to keep the Prospective date (spouse) away from said children until marriage?? it just seems impossible, plus I need to know how the person is around my children.
My son is 23 - he's a grown man... my daughter is 7... and so very precious to me.
Since I'm Divorced.. how does this dating happen without ruining the pecking order??
Does anyone even understand what I mean?