Tiffany does not play well with others

[DarlinNadia]

oi. eeeeyup. I must skip typing half of what's in my head and nothing is coming through coherently because I am seeing that I'm offending and upsetting more people than helping here on the forums. I should minded my initial idea of avoiding the forums.

Every report card I got in primary through high school stated

*Tiffany does not play well with others. I remember my dad telling me about this time he came to pick me up from pre-school and found me sitting on the steps with arms folded and pouting. When asked why, I explained that the other children were not playing by the rules and rather than play with them I was going to punish them by not letting them play with me and with a spiteful huff I said I didn't need any of them. For the entirety of the rest of my time at that school, I sat on the stairs away from all those children every single day until I graduated. (avoidance/isolation habits die hard I suppose) when you grow up with the rule "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all..." and if you are a chatty person... it's far easier to simply seclude yourself to avoid overstepping the don't speak if you aren't going to be nice rule... this way you can speak and not hurt anyone's feelings.

AND

*Tiffany is not working to her ability. OR *Tiffany is an underachiever (that I always found offensive because who are THEY to assume they could assume to know my abilities were any greater than what I displayed. I could have been working as hard as I possibly could but simply sucked really bad compared to all the other schoolchildren.

I'm sure God is trying to teach me something here but I am simply not willing to listen at this point and time. Yet another FAIL on my part. Fail Fail Fail... Yay me. (sigh)

 

[maxwel]

oi. eeeeyup. I must skip typing half of what's in my head and nothing is coming through coherently because I am seeing that I'm offending and upsetting more people than helping here on the forums. I should minded my initial idea of avoiding the forums.

Every report card I got in primary through high school stated

*Tiffany does not play well with others. I remember my dad telling me about this time he came to pick me up from pre-school and found me sitting on the steps with arms folded and pouting. When asked why, I explained that the other children were not playing by the rules and rather than play with them I was going to punish them by not letting them play with me and with a spiteful huff I said I didn't need any of them. For the entirety of the rest of my time at that school, I sat on the stairs away from all those children every single day until I graduated. (avoidance/isolation habits die hard I suppose) when you grow up with the rule "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all..." and if you are a chatty person... it's far easier to simply seclude yourself to avoid overstepping the don't speak if you aren't going to be nice rule... this way you can speak and not hurt anyone's feelings.

AND

*Tiffany is not working to her ability. OR *Tiffany is an underachiever (that I always found offensive because who are THEY to assume they could assume to know my abilities were any greater than what I displayed. I could have been working as hard as I possibly could but simply sucked really bad compared to all the other schoolchildren.

I'm sure God is trying to teach me something here but I am simply not willing to listen at this point and time. Yet another FAIL on my part. Fail Fail Fail... Yay me. (sigh)

I used to hear the same thing all the time.

I never did figure out why they kept calling me Tiffany.

 

[secularhermit]

That´s why I like you: Honesty is scarsely found.

I also faced that (I´m not going to show you my school papers) and, here in the forums (some time ago) a couple of ladies told me the same (by using a video of a calf or a sheep) ... I am me, and I don´t play THEIR GAMES (hypocrisy, by the way).

( This is for them > )

I seldom follow rules, except those that are real, legal and well established.

 

[wisebeardman]

I don't play well with others as well.

 

[NewEagle]

*Runs with scissors.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I just don't play with others.

 

[SabbieWabbie]

Sounds like me now that I'm older, I had a ton of friends in my younger and teen years, but they were Christian and it was easier. Now, I am older and I don't 'play' the way the people around my age 'play' (clubbing, drinking etc etc) so I haven't formed friendships with people and now I'm secluded in my own world I guess. But, the thing is I do want to play with others, I just haven't met people who would be cool with things not of the flesh. Oh yeah I remember joining a Christian group at university and they kept moving me from group to group and I got fed up and just left. To top it all off, this isolation seems to be a permanent thing now that I live in two different towns and switch every six to eight weeks.

 

[cinder]

oi. eeeeyup. I must skip typing half of what's in my head and nothing is coming through coherently because I am seeing that I'm offending and upsetting more people than helping here on the forums. I should minded my initial idea of avoiding the forums.

Until mind reading becomes a universal human ability, we will misunderstand each other. While sometimes people getting offended is a result of unclear communication, often there is also a tendency in the other person to take offense.

In my few weeks on forums, I've learned a couple tricks to diffuse potentially ugly situations:

1) Respond to unclear or potentially offensive statements with a question or a request for information, not an offended reaction.

2) Try to clear up anything that was unclear, but don't waste time repeating yourself because someone else has their head up their butt. If a person is incapable of understanding something that was clear to the rest of us, that is their problem and inability, not yours. You have no responsibility to correct the idiocy of every member of the human race.

3) Realize that some people have their agendas and will fly off the handle whenever a certain subject is mentioned. Again that is someone else's issue, not your fault for posting about that topic (or mentioning it). We all have our own baggage.

4) Most of us flock to the internet because we're a bit socially awkward in real life. So if our average social skills are lower than average we're probably more likely to have such little flare ups to begin with.

Having said all that we love your honesty, and this is probably a good training ground to learn to play well with others. After all we have ignore buttons for those you just can't stand.

 

[MidniteWelder]

You have no responsibility to correct the idiocy of every member of the human race.

Isn't that what Christ came to do?

 

[cinder]

Isn't that what Christ came to do?

Yes and he needs millions of us in his body, the church, to carry out that mission. And even then some still persist in being idiots (sinners, fools, insert other synonyms here​).

 

[MidniteWelder]

Yes and he needs millions of us in his body, the church, to carry out that mission. And even then some still persist in being idiots (sinners, fools, insert other synonyms here​).

So what you're saying is...
that within conforming to being more like Christ, we're also called to continue in the same work he started?
That when people expect us to act like Christ, and then we do, they can't turn right around and say
YOU'RE NOT GOD!
[SIZE=+1]

[/SIZE]

 

[cinder]

If we are very liberal with our terms, we can say that the commission to make disciples of all nations and teach them to obey everything Jesus commanded (Matt 28:19) is correcting their idiocy, foolishness, or sin (i.e. teaching them to follow Jesus instead of their own way). Ideally if we act like Christ people won't be telling us you're not God, they're supposed to see our good deeds and glorify our Father in heaven (Matt 5).

 

[MidniteWelder]

Nicely put Cinder

 

[CatHerder]

Until mind reading becomes a universal human ability, we will misunderstand each other. While sometimes people getting offended is a result of unclear communication, often there is also a tendency in the other person to take offense.

In my few weeks on forums, I've learned a couple tricks to diffuse potentially ugly situations:

1) Respond to unclear or potentially offensive statements with a question or a request for information, not an offended reaction.

2) Try to clear up anything that was unclear, but don't waste time repeating yourself because someone else has their head up their butt. If a person is incapable of understanding something that was clear to the rest of us, that is their problem and inability, not yours. You have no responsibility to correct the idiocy of every member of the human race.

3) Realize that some people have their agendas and will fly off the handle whenever a certain subject is mentioned. Again that is someone else's issue, not your fault for posting about that topic (or mentioning it). We all have our own baggage.

4) Most of us flock to the internet because we're a bit socially awkward in real life. So if our average social skills are lower than average we're probably more likely to have such little flare ups to begin with.

Having said all that we love your honesty, and this is probably a good training ground to learn to play well with others. After all we have ignore buttons for those you just can't stand.

"You must spread reputation blah blah blah blah blah cinder again."

 

[Raine]

Hmm... I think one should always be encouraged when people tell you you can do better. Why? Because from my perspective that means they believe in you and see potential in you. . So be encouraged! Now might not be the right time, but keep your eyes on the prize and press forward and it will come.

 

[secularhermit]

Sounds like me now that I'm older, I had a ton of friends in my younger and teen years, but they were Christian and it was easier. Now, I am older and I don't 'play' the way the people around my age 'play' (clubbing, drinking etc etc) so I haven't formed friendships with people and now I'm secluded in my own world I guess. But, the thing is I do want to play with others, I just haven't met people who would be cool with things not of the flesh. Oh yeah I remember joining a Christian group at university and they kept moving me from group to group and I got fed up and just left. To top it all off, this isolation seems to be a permanent thing now that I live in two different towns and switch every six to eight weeks.

Do you like CHESSS?

 

[secularhermit]

@ Cider

"Try to clear up anything that was unclear, but don't waste time repeating yourself because someone else has their head up their butt."

I chose that in blue. Thanks!

 

[secularhermit]

Yes and he needs millions of us in his body, the church, to carry out that mission. And even then some still persist in being idiots (sinners, fools, insert other synonyms here​).

Hmmmm! Here I see lack of coherency... I will not point out (those 4 tips) you said, above.

I chose, again, your point 2. (...Try to clear up anything that was unclear...)

 

[secularhermit]

So what you're saying is...
that within conforming to being more like Christ, we're also called to continue in the same work he started?
That when people expect us to act like Christ, and then we do, they can't turn right around and say
YOU'RE NOT GOD!
[SIZE=+1]

[/SIZE]

I haven´t read Jesus called "names" to those he saw as people... Who am to call others "sinners, fools, etc". when I´m -too often- lack the ability to see (myself) I played the fool goofying at me?

 

[Fenner]

Tiffany you are welcome here. I enjoy your posts, please stick around.