Midnight Confessions

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
I know that I am not better than anyone else but also know that spiritual growth is necessary to become a more humble and productive servant of the Lord. Is it not a good thing to have a desire to better yourself in the eyes of the Lord as long as it does not impact your humility in how you view others?
 
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TinaT

Guest
I work in the entertainment industry. ( not a stripper or anything) I have an alter ego that comes out sometimes.
Its hard to be holy at my job. My funny side is sometimes naughty minded. My one liners are programmed. :/
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
I work in the entertainment industry. ( not a stripper or anything) I have an alter ego that comes out sometimes.
Its hard to be holy at my job. My funny side is sometimes naughty minded. My one liners are programmed. :/
This was a very entertaining post and amusing.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
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69
Tennessee
There you stood, that'll teach you, to look so good and feel so right.
Let me tell you about the girl I met last night.
It's understood, I had to reach her, I let the wheel of fortune spin.
I touched your hand before the crowd started rushing in.

I must be living in a fantasy world...
 
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TinaT

Guest
I was actually being serious. My old nature comes out in certain situations when I try to be entertaining.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
I was actually being serious. My old nature comes out in certain situations when I try to be entertaining.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I found your post to be entertaining. Seriously.
 
May 3, 2013
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I work in the entertainment industry. ( not a stripper or anything) I have an alter ego that comes out sometimes.
Its hard to be holy at my job. My funny side is sometimes naughty minded. My one liners are programmed. :/
That´s why I chose secular-hermit... If i became too holy as I was 20 years back, they would get me wrong (I recently read one of those letters I wrote to my elder brother and I myself got bored of being such a clichét I was)
 
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MrSmith22

Guest
I struggle with lots of things. Anger, doubt, lust, pornography, bisexual attraction. I have a hard time with the last two because I am embarrassed. I recently was unfaithful to Christ by having anonymous sex with someone. I haven't been able to tell anyone. I am worried about my risk of STIs. This was a one time thing and my first time. I am so ashamed that I don't know how to pick myself up and keep moving most days. I am embarrassed. I don't fear God not forgiving me but people in my life forgiving especially a future wife. I have struggled with homosexual attraction and it is so hard to figure out and work through. This day and age makes it even harder with the constant pressure to accept that as my identity rather than choosing Christ as my identity. I need some encouragement and prayers.
 
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TinaT

Guest
Just be careful what you feed. Its an addiction like porn or any other sin. Try to capture every thought in obedience to Christ.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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I struggle with lots of things. Anger, doubt, lust, pornography, bisexual attraction. I have a hard time with the last two because I am embarrassed. I recently was unfaithful to Christ by having anonymous sex with someone. I haven't been able to tell anyone. I am worried about my risk of STIs. This was a one time thing and my first time. I am so ashamed that I don't know how to pick myself up and keep moving most days. I am embarrassed. I don't fear God not forgiving me but people in my life forgiving especially a future wife. I have struggled with homosexual attraction and it is so hard to figure out and work through. This day and age makes it even harder with the constant pressure to accept that as my identity rather than choosing Christ as my identity. I need some encouragement and prayers.
You're already making progress. Exposing sin, as you have done here, is the first step toward turning away from it. It loses it's appeal when in the light. If your shame is from satan, refuse it. If it is conviction from God, welcome it as a tool to use to help you draw closer to Christ. Cry out to God. Let him know that you can't do this on your own. Beg him to help you in your weakness. He will draw near to you.

It's about dying daily. Denying the flesh. It's so terribly terribly hard... I don't envy you your struggle, but I know that the struggle, and victory through Christ, is what will make you strong. My prayers are with you, brother.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
I struggle with lots of things. Anger, doubt, lust, pornography, bisexual attraction. I have a hard time with the last two because I am embarrassed. I recently was unfaithful to Christ by having anonymous sex with someone. I haven't been able to tell anyone. I am worried about my risk of STIs. This was a one time thing and my first time. I am so ashamed that I don't know how to pick myself up and keep moving most days. I am embarrassed. I don't fear God not forgiving me but people in my life forgiving especially a future wife. I have struggled with homosexual attraction and it is so hard to figure out and work through. This day and age makes it even harder with the constant pressure to accept that as my identity rather than choosing Christ as my identity. I need some encouragement and prayers.
You have been very brave in this confession. I find it is hard enough to admit things, even to myself, let alone someone else. I have said a heartfelt prayer for you and the struggles you are facing. If it is any comfort to you we all face are own personal battle each day in various struggles and you are not alone. Try to make the Lord your own personal best friend as He is only one that can light your way in the path that you must go if you desire meaning and truth in your life. Have a safe journey and Godspeed.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
You're already making progress. Exposing sin, as you have done here, is the first step toward turning away from it. It loses it's appeal when in the light. If your shame is from satan, refuse it. If it is conviction from God, welcome it as a tool to use to help you draw closer to Christ. Cry out to God. Let him know that you can't do this on your own. Beg him to help you in your weakness. He will draw near to you.

It's about dying daily. Denying the flesh. It's so terribly terribly hard... I don't envy you your struggle, but I know that the struggle, and victory through Christ, is what will make you strong. My prayers are with you, brother.
That was a very thoughtful post, especially the part about dying daily. What does not kill us can only make us stronger in our humble service to the Lord. Praise God!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
That´s why I chose secular-hermit... If i became too holy as I was 20 years back, they would get me wrong (I recently read one of those letters I wrote to my elder brother and I myself got bored of being such a clichét I was)
Perhaps, we are constantly trying to re-invent ourselves. I am praying now for God to re-invent me and not to leave things to my own designs.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
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Perhaps, we are constantly trying to re-invent ourselves. I am praying now for God to re-invent me and not to leave things to my own designs.
It needs a long time. The person I´ve invented is not like Frankestein but it could be easy if I could listen to Him, as I read posts or the music I like.
Whatever the case, I tried my best by guessing and my concience is clear: I walked by the faith I knew or that one I thought I knew... This morning I told my brother, about the post I mentioned above and he told me: "You were too close to be a pastor or a preacher". I laughed! Because I know who I am, and I´m staring at what GOD would invent from me soon. :)
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
It needs a long time. The person I´ve invented is not like Frankestein but it could be easy if I could listen to Him, as I read posts or the music I like.
Whatever the case, I tried my best by guessing and my concience is clear: I walked by the faith I knew or that one I thought I knew... This morning I told my brother, about the post I mentioned above and he told me: "You were too close to be a pastor or a preacher". I laughed! Because I know who I am, and I´m staring at what GOD would invent from me soon. :)
My conscience is clear too my friend. God will indeed invent you and me to a vassal of His choosing because we chose to allow him to do this. Yes, it will be sooner rather than later because our ship is coming in to port now even as we speak and it will be time to board soon so we must be ready and have our bags packed. As for me, I travel light in my travels. Let's just climb aboard and see what wondrous land that it takes us. I know what you are thinking, "Maybe it is the love boat?". Who knows, but the important thing is that we enjoy the journey and find a deeper meaning in our lives and not be forced to walk the plank into the despair of the waters below.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
I think that I can be a real annoying person at times and for that I am sorry. I do not mean to be that way or hurt anybody. I must be a hard person to relate to or maybe I am doing something wrong. Perhaps I just have overstayed my welcome here at CC. It has been a slice but it is probably time to consider leaving before somebody else's feelings get hurt.