Hey Singles,
We talk about these things from time to time, but I wanted to start some discussions about how to live single life safely.
The first thing I'd like to talk about is when someone who won't accept that you don't want to date them or have contact with them, etc., and refuses to leave you alone. We often joke about stalking others here or being stalked by other people, but of course, in real life, dealing with a stalker is certainly no joke.
Here are some discussion questions:
* Have you had to deal with someone who wouldn't leave you alone in your own life, and what steps have you taken to protect yourself? What wound up happening? (Maybe you saw a parent or someone else go through this... what happened?)
* What precautions do you take to try to prevent these types of unhealthy/dangerous connections and situations?
* How would you advise others to date/socialize safely?
In my own life,
+ I am notorious for VERY RARELY giving out my phone number because I saw friends give out their numbers all the time... and then had to change it almost every time they gave it out. I've often been called immature and paranoid but I've had a lot less drama than those I know who give out their number frequently! My philosophy is, if someone isn't willing to take the time to get to know me for a while in writing (email exchanges on websites such as this), they're not really interested in getting to know me. (I've actually prayed that the right person will be willing to do so.)
+ This is a bit different but several years ago, I worked with a co-worker who was an older man but often had the mind of a child. Everyone loved his sweet spirit and strong work ethic. He did odd jobs on the side, and one of the women he worked for developed an obsession with him. She drove past where we worked, saw me talking to him one day, and shouted out several insults at me as she went by. She then proceeded to call my bosses and tell them to "keep her away from him" or she would come to the store and plunge a dagger into my heart, among several other murderous threats. One of my bosses promptly took me down to the police station and had me file a restraining order. I was fortunate to never have a problem with her again, as I'd heard she was well-known to that precinct for similar threats and violence.
+ An ex-boyfriend with several issues simply would not take no for answer, showing up where I worked and calling so much (back in the day before cell phones) that I had to unplug all 3 of my landline phones every night when I came home from work. This went on for months... and to this day (10 years later), he still stops and asks about me. Some time after we had split up, he called my bosses and told them I'd gone crazy, was unstable, etc. I was half a step away from filing a restraining order against him as well but fortunately, it died down to a level I could at least tolerate, and he never made any threats, nor did he try to come to my house. I feel fortunate that I "had it easy" when I hear what others have gone through and am always sad to read the horrors that some have dealt with.
How about all of you? This is obviously not a gender issue, as it happens to people of both sexes. I think it's an important topic to talk about though, especially as a single. I'm also concerned that our younger friends and those new to dating or single life will be given the tools to navigate singledom in the safest manner possible.
Thanks for sharing, and may "no weapon formed against us prosper."
We talk about these things from time to time, but I wanted to start some discussions about how to live single life safely.
The first thing I'd like to talk about is when someone who won't accept that you don't want to date them or have contact with them, etc., and refuses to leave you alone. We often joke about stalking others here or being stalked by other people, but of course, in real life, dealing with a stalker is certainly no joke.
Here are some discussion questions:
* Have you had to deal with someone who wouldn't leave you alone in your own life, and what steps have you taken to protect yourself? What wound up happening? (Maybe you saw a parent or someone else go through this... what happened?)
* What precautions do you take to try to prevent these types of unhealthy/dangerous connections and situations?
* How would you advise others to date/socialize safely?
In my own life,
+ I am notorious for VERY RARELY giving out my phone number because I saw friends give out their numbers all the time... and then had to change it almost every time they gave it out. I've often been called immature and paranoid but I've had a lot less drama than those I know who give out their number frequently! My philosophy is, if someone isn't willing to take the time to get to know me for a while in writing (email exchanges on websites such as this), they're not really interested in getting to know me. (I've actually prayed that the right person will be willing to do so.)
+ This is a bit different but several years ago, I worked with a co-worker who was an older man but often had the mind of a child. Everyone loved his sweet spirit and strong work ethic. He did odd jobs on the side, and one of the women he worked for developed an obsession with him. She drove past where we worked, saw me talking to him one day, and shouted out several insults at me as she went by. She then proceeded to call my bosses and tell them to "keep her away from him" or she would come to the store and plunge a dagger into my heart, among several other murderous threats. One of my bosses promptly took me down to the police station and had me file a restraining order. I was fortunate to never have a problem with her again, as I'd heard she was well-known to that precinct for similar threats and violence.
+ An ex-boyfriend with several issues simply would not take no for answer, showing up where I worked and calling so much (back in the day before cell phones) that I had to unplug all 3 of my landline phones every night when I came home from work. This went on for months... and to this day (10 years later), he still stops and asks about me. Some time after we had split up, he called my bosses and told them I'd gone crazy, was unstable, etc. I was half a step away from filing a restraining order against him as well but fortunately, it died down to a level I could at least tolerate, and he never made any threats, nor did he try to come to my house. I feel fortunate that I "had it easy" when I hear what others have gone through and am always sad to read the horrors that some have dealt with.
How about all of you? This is obviously not a gender issue, as it happens to people of both sexes. I think it's an important topic to talk about though, especially as a single. I'm also concerned that our younger friends and those new to dating or single life will be given the tools to navigate singledom in the safest manner possible.
Thanks for sharing, and may "no weapon formed against us prosper."