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U
Perhaps if you aren't showing any interest back that's why they stop. And why would they feel a need to tell you 'you don't seem interested so i'm going to stop chasing you'?
Of course your post is vague and doesn't provide the details needed to give a full, accurate response to whatever you're trying to say.
Of course your post is vague and doesn't provide the details needed to give a full, accurate response to whatever you're trying to say.
U
Ah. Well, again, some details lack. I'm assuming that this is a disappearance over time, days or weeks?
Depending on the time frame, and the options this person has to be in contact with you there may be valid reasons they stopped and just aren't able to be in contact with you.
If it's in person, or someone who has various means in contact you and still doesn't, then despite how annoying it may be, it's probably good things happened this way early on as it's an indicator of the type of person they are, and you will be dodging a bullet by not getting more invested with someone like that.
No one can say why people do this. There are 1000 answers. Maybe you inadvertently said something that offended them or turned them off. Maybe you were just one option and another option (woman) he was able to move forward with sooner than you. Maybe he's just a flake. Who knows.
Depending on the time frame, and the options this person has to be in contact with you there may be valid reasons they stopped and just aren't able to be in contact with you.
If it's in person, or someone who has various means in contact you and still doesn't, then despite how annoying it may be, it's probably good things happened this way early on as it's an indicator of the type of person they are, and you will be dodging a bullet by not getting more invested with someone like that.
No one can say why people do this. There are 1000 answers. Maybe you inadvertently said something that offended them or turned them off. Maybe you were just one option and another option (woman) he was able to move forward with sooner than you. Maybe he's just a flake. Who knows.
B
You may want to be informed about http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/85202-o-o-internet-catfishing.html
Because some people don't really care what impact they have on others, or they are not really aware.
So in the end I don't think its really about other people. Always got to keep in mind that everyone has a story and there could be lots going on in their life. Or they could just be plain rude. Either way keep that stuff in your mind and your less likely to take stuff personally
So in the end I don't think its really about other people. Always got to keep in mind that everyone has a story and there could be lots going on in their life. Or they could just be plain rude. Either way keep that stuff in your mind and your less likely to take stuff personally
A
I don't see why talking about bad manners is taking things personally. I am ok with them rejecting me. I set a high standard when it comes to premarital sex and being a good Christian man. I am not looking for perfection. I just expect the man to have a good relationship with God and understand my morals when it comes to sex before marriage. Plus my looks aren't everyone's cup of tea.
I think if you show interest in someone and then change your mind the courteous thing to do is to not leave them hanging. Be a man/woman and tell them you are moving on and don't ignore them hoping they get the hint.
I think if you show interest in someone and then change your mind the courteous thing to do is to not leave them hanging. Be a man/woman and tell them you are moving on and don't ignore them hoping they get the hint.
U
Which goes back to what i said, if their behavior doesn't line up with what you think is right, then you're better off finding out early on.
Also, peoples concepts of 'rude' are different. While you may consider it rude, another may not.
You seem awfully bothered by this considering it sounds like things were barely getting started. Perhaps this is what Und is seeing and referring to. You've made a thread about bad manners? Not really. You've made a thread about behavior that, yes, you considered rude, but i have a feeling you were bothered by more than what you saw as rude behavior. Otherwise every time you were simply treated rudely by someone you would have a new thread. It's pretty plain to see this is more than a simple rudeness issue for you. Hence taking it personally.
Also, peoples concepts of 'rude' are different. While you may consider it rude, another may not.
You seem awfully bothered by this considering it sounds like things were barely getting started. Perhaps this is what Und is seeing and referring to. You've made a thread about bad manners? Not really. You've made a thread about behavior that, yes, you considered rude, but i have a feeling you were bothered by more than what you saw as rude behavior. Otherwise every time you were simply treated rudely by someone you would have a new thread. It's pretty plain to see this is more than a simple rudeness issue for you. Hence taking it personally.
Ding ding ding!!! I can't claim to be any kind of expert but from talking to people and in my own experience, the NUMBER ONE reason someone seems very interested and then becomes distant or disappears...
Is because they have someone already, or they've found someone else.
Be prepared to brace yourself and be strong enough to kick them to the curb--if they reappear, it means it didn't work out with the other person, or else they've decided they know how to juggle more than one person at the same time.
A
Oh yeah kicking them to the curb is easy after all, I am the daughter of God and mightily loved by Him. I trust in Him to keep the wrong men from me. That's what I attribute all this to...God's protection. Him saying this isn't the right man for you. I just got frustrated with with what I see as rudeness.
I may be reading your posts wrong, but was there anything established between the two of you whatsoever? I mean did it go beyond flirting? Was there some discussion of a potential relationship? I don't know if I would necessarily hold him to the fire, because I don't know if you two were on the same wave length. Not to sound funny, but I see plenty of flirting in the chatrooms, but I don't think there is an obligation to say why you stopped pursuing after it stops.
I am by no means trying to lessen your frustration, because many of us have had similar experiences. I am just not sure if you can be upset (I am not trying to tell you how to feel) about him not giving you a reason why he stopped pursuing, if he may not have been "in pursuit" in his thinking. He may have been, but you haven't really given us the details on whether there was discussion of a potential relationship.
I am by no means trying to lessen your frustration, because many of us have had similar experiences. I am just not sure if you can be upset (I am not trying to tell you how to feel) about him not giving you a reason why he stopped pursuing, if he may not have been "in pursuit" in his thinking. He may have been, but you haven't really given us the details on whether there was discussion of a potential relationship.
A
Yes we discussed a relationship. We both wanted to be friends first...to take it slowly. He was constantly telling me that he found me sexy. he loved my freckles, hair and such. We talked about God, his issues, mine also (I am imperfect). We talked about a lot of things. I try to keep things pg13 because I am serious about wanting a commitment and going slow. I returned his flirting by saying he is handsome and I enjoy our time together, enjoy talking to him and some flirting. He did have some serious issues but I am not looking for perfection and as long as he is striving toward God and working on them, I was willing to wait for him to work them out with God at his side. It seems that I didn't judge him (which I probably should have and walked away) but he has judged me on occasions...calling me a goody goody and such. I should have known and listened to myself and God that he wasn't ready to truly let go of his issues and let God deal with them.
I guess I expect to much from people about politeness and being rude tho. This is a fallen world and expecting men to be considerate of the woman and not string her along when he has moved on is too much to hope for even in professed Christians.
I guess I expect to much from people about politeness and being rude tho. This is a fallen world and expecting men to be considerate of the woman and not string her along when he has moved on is too much to hope for even in professed Christians.
M
This is the kind of information that would have been helpful to know in your original post 
From what you said here, I'd guess that either this guy is married or has someone else (as others have stated), or that the being friends first and taking things slowly wasn't his cup of tea.
While there are certainly plenty of men out there who see the sense of moving slowly in a relationship, there are also a lot of guys who will agree to move slowly but don't really want to. As in, maybe they think they can talk the woman into moving faster, or they don't think the woman is serious about the pace she claims to want to go.
It's possible he just got bored- which isn't your fault.
In any case, any way you look at it, it sounds like he did you a favor by taking himself out of the picture. Now you're free to move on; here's hoping you find what you're looking for
From what you said here, I'd guess that either this guy is married or has someone else (as others have stated), or that the being friends first and taking things slowly wasn't his cup of tea.
While there are certainly plenty of men out there who see the sense of moving slowly in a relationship, there are also a lot of guys who will agree to move slowly but don't really want to. As in, maybe they think they can talk the woman into moving faster, or they don't think the woman is serious about the pace she claims to want to go.
It's possible he just got bored- which isn't your fault.
In any case, any way you look at it, it sounds like he did you a favor by taking himself out of the picture. Now you're free to move on; here's hoping you find what you're looking for
A
This is the kind of information that would have been helpful to know in your original post
From what you said here, I'd guess that either this guy is married or has someone else (as others have stated), or that the being friends first and taking things slowly wasn't his cup of tea.
While there are certainly plenty of men out there who see the sense of moving slowly in a relationship, there are also a lot of guys who will agree to move slowly but don't really want to. As in, maybe they think they can talk the woman into moving faster, or they don't think the woman is serious about the pace she claims to want to go.
It's possible he just got bored- which isn't your fault.
In any case, any way you look at it, it sounds like he did you a favor by taking himself out of the picture. Now you're free to move on; here's hoping you find what you're looking for
From what you said here, I'd guess that either this guy is married or has someone else (as others have stated), or that the being friends first and taking things slowly wasn't his cup of tea.
While there are certainly plenty of men out there who see the sense of moving slowly in a relationship, there are also a lot of guys who will agree to move slowly but don't really want to. As in, maybe they think they can talk the woman into moving faster, or they don't think the woman is serious about the pace she claims to want to go.
It's possible he just got bored- which isn't your fault.
In any case, any way you look at it, it sounds like he did you a favor by taking himself out of the picture. Now you're free to move on; here's hoping you find what you're looking for