+ God has been dealing with me on a few things lately.
one has been my habits of keeping walls up, and putting in lots of "one-way" bridges to the island that i sometimes make of myself.
meaning, people come to me for help, advice, and the like, but i struggle to do the same--at least in a way that makes myself vulnerable. in the last couple months, God has allowed several circumstances that make me rather aware of these weaknesses and how mighty and tall my walls can be.
always fleeing for the ivory tower.
+ copious amounts of chilled watermelon makes a rather lovely meal in this heat
+ ok, i'm tired of the heat. cue fall now, please. i'm more than ready for 75 degree days and gentle breezes. and fall boot weather. : )
+ i've been "coasting" when it comes to a couple goals in my life. i need to re-focus and re-establish some priorities. before i'm being forced to do such things.
+ i'm an awful procrastinator. my tags expire tomorrow and i've left myself no choice but to pay them a visit tomorrow. bad, bad, baaa-aaad gypsygirl. *sigh*
+ and while we're talking about failures, i've been ruminating lately on this:
usually being good, or successful at something means that you're only marginally ok (if not bad) at something(s) else. we can only choose to be successful at so many things. and that's ok. i struggle with mediocrity. to the point that i desire an all or nothing outcome. meaning, i succeed, or i give up entirely, and choose failure. finding contentedness in being adequate somehow feels excruciatingly painful, like lukewarm tea that has sat out all night... neither satisfying, nor unacceptable. but sometimes we have to make that choice.
many years ago, i got to meet one of my heroes, denise parker, who had just won a bronze medal for archery as part of the olympic team in seoul (and the youngest member at only 14, i believe). she was always someone i really looked up to, possibly because we had similar backgrounds and fell into the sport in similar ways--not to mention she was a freckled bad-asp. i asked her a question, (i don't even remember what it was) but her answer will always stay with me:
well, if you're going to be the best, you have to choose to be the worst at a lot of other things. because if you pursue this kind of a goal, it will be at the cost of almost everything else. if you're not ok with that, you'll never win any medals.
pretty sage wisdom from a 17 year old girl. oh, and i still remember being awestruck, in a way that you can only be when you you're a teenaged girl meeting a hero. : )