Handling trollish behavior, "smart" atheists, etc...

[niceguyJ]

Creating a new thread/topic is a rare thing for me. I didn't even do that much when I was more actively participating here. Sometimes I just have to say something though... So here goes........

Troll: Someone who wants to get a reaction out of people, disturb, cause drama, etc.

Even if you are 110% sure someone is a troll, please still treat them with love and respect. If you sling insults at them, mock them, etc. etc. are you any better than they are?
It's not a sin to get angry or aggravated, but our words and actions that follow that can be.

Think of what Jesus experienced. He was spat on, mocked, beaten, had a crown of thorns put on his head, and ultimately died a very cruel and painful death. What did He say in the midst of all that? "Father, forgive them...". How's that for an example of love?

I'm not saying we should be doormats. I think of Jesus turning over tables, calling a group a "brood of vipers", etc. I also like the "Jesus wept." verse. He had emotions too, but He never sinned. Any anger was righteous anger. I know we need to look at the full picture. Ultimately, we'd do well to follow His example as best we can.

DO NOT FEED A TROLL. If you must, take a little time and send a respectful message stating your views and such, then GET OUT. If you don't feed them they will either go away or up their game and try to cause even more drama which will usually get them banned...if they don't get banned to begin with.

If you're not sure if someone is a troll, I think the above still applies. Not everyone who makes off the wall posts is a troll. Internet forums attract a lot of people with serious issues. Jesus loves them too. I don't want to have to answer to Him for treating someone poorly. Simply walking away and staying silent is a much better option.
We all have our issues...every last one of us. Lets not forget that.

There is no valid reason or good excuse for treating someone with anything less than love and respect.
How a person treats those they love, or even just like, doesn't show anything about them compared to how they treat those that wrong them in some way.

Pray for them. Often prayer can do way more than any words you could ever say.

I think all of the above applies to the atheists who come here and other Christian sites too. The ones who think they are so much smarter than us. They like to use big words and are great at pointless debate. It's a fool's errand to waste your time on pointless debates. Actually, those happen between Christians plenty too.
Obviously, some of this applies to how we treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ too.

I wish I had this knowledge before I even visited my first internet forum years ago. Then again, I might've been too immature to really get it and still had to have learned the hard way. I've failed on all counts, regarding this kind of thing, but if I can make improvements you can too if needed. As long as internet forums exist, these things are going to keep happening...Always have, always will.

Alright I'm done......You survived.

 

[jeremyPJ]

I think people usually spot a troll a mile away, but sometimes maybe not. I don't worry about it much, they will be dealt with in time by their own hand most likely. I can't imagine anyone having enough time in this busy world today to go to a forum just to be a troll...there's surely something better and more interesting. Then again, maybe God will lead them if they come here.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I think the problem is often that people don't recognize the troll (or disturbed person) for who/what they are at first, so they start out trying to help them, become invested in their situation, and get increasingly frustrated when all of their efforts fail.

For most people, I don't believe this is done on purpose. It's a response to being pushed too far. But I agree that pains should be taken to always remain loving, even when pushed to our limit.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yes, whether we like it or not.. trolls are people too.

 

[Liamson]

I like everything about this thread except for the title.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

-puts guilty face on-

 

[cinder]

So then the question becomes where do we draw the line between giving someone the in your face unvarnished truth about themselves that they need to hear respectfully (even if said person / troll/ etc has lost our respect) and an inappropriate attack? I've never been a fan of name calling, but some people do need to be told to get lost, and it is always nice for those of us being attacked by a troll or other aggressive person to have our friends come to our defense.

 

[ChandlerFan]

We could make a distinction here between intentional and unintentional trolling haha.

Really, though, I've been a part of various Christian forums for several years now and have learned how annoying it is when people freely throw around the troll word. If someone is accused of being a troll who is not one, then they are needlessly offended. With that said, if you post like a troll, you will probably be treated as one, but for someone who is posting like a troll without the intention of actually being one, it is good to lovingly ignore them. If you can't handle the crazy, it is better for both of you in the end.

I've clashed with just a couple of individuals in the past on other sites whose posting styles were rude or insensitive, and I ultimately had to just ignore them because I had nothing good or helpful to say to them. That's a good thing to keep in mind here as well. Now, as far as the person for whom this thread was likely created, I did not ignore said individual, but I also wasn't frustrated or exasperated with this person either. I was just having a little fun (probably not helpful either though ).

And just to add one other thing, I think the reality is that there some people who just cannot be helped online. Sure it's good to talk to and encourage them, but there are simply going to be people who are either stubborn or have issues that can't be treated totally by online advice-giving and encouragement. I think we just have to be good at discerning when it seems that a person cannot be helped by us on CC and then let it go and simply pray for them.

 

[niceguyJ]

There are some good points being made here. I won't reply to all of them directly, but I want to say some more things that may relate to multiple things said here. Then some other things triggered by some of your responses. I also want to clarify some things, just in case.
For the record, I am reading all the posts. Thanks for participating in the thread.

First off...NO this thread is certainly not about just one person. Did that thread and the one before it that was pretty much the same bother me? Yep. Those are just two of many I've witnessed over the years. These kinds of things have always gone on here and elsewhere, and trolls and such are going to keep coming...so are people with mental issues, people who are just plain stubborn, etc.
So this is about more than just one incident. Nothing can be done about the past, but if the present and future could be improved it'd be nice.

To me, the answer is still simple: Treat everyone with love and respect regardless of how they treat you. Yeah, I know that is easier said than done, but I believe it really is that simple. If you do that you don't have to worry so much about whether a person is a troll or not...Plus, maybe someone who is normally a standup kind of person is just having an off day. It happens.

Most people who come here asking for advice are not going to listen. Most just want justification for something they feel bad about. They're hoping to get some sort of validation to make themselves feel better. I know how frustrating that is. It does often start out good, but then people just get fed up and start showing it by tossing little insults and such trying to be funny or cool or whatever. It'd be much better to just leave the thread and don't come back to it. What is worse is when one person goes down that path it seems more join in. What good is being accomplished there?
"Oh but niceguyJ you just need to get a sense of humor." Well, I have one...but it's not funny unless both parties involved find it amusing.
Now I do realize that some people will get hurt and offended when they hear the truth, even if it is delivered in a respectful manner. That's an entirely different thing. Jesus himself said a lot of things that offended people.
Furthermore, I think it's a great disservice to people when they are given flowery words that are a lie.
Example: Person makes thread about how sad and lonely they are and how much they want a mate. Then someone, or multiple people come along saying things like "Don't worry, it'll happen in time." "God has someone planned just for you."
Really!? That's not in my Bible. Telling them that might make them feel good for a short while, but if they are someone who is not ever going to get married, then you've done nothing but hurt them and their growth. It'd be better to tell them the truth that they may or may not get married someday. That reality can hurt, but at least hopefully the person can at least be working on accepting it and submitting to God's will, whatever that may be for their lives.
All that to say, I'm all for honesty. That's something I really like about this forum. There are people here who will be honest and not just tell people what they want to hear.

ChandlerFan: I think you made a great point about some people not being able to be helped here. This happens very often in internet forums. We are simply not qualified to help some people. However, we can certainly pray for them.
Also a little snippet from you post said this: "With that said, if you post like a troll, you will probably be treated as one".
That was the main point of this thread to begin with... How SHOULD a troll be treated? I'll stick to what I've said above and in my first post.
If someone, troll or not, is being a pain does that make it okay for us to treat them poorly? No, it doesn't.

I've heard some argue before (I don't remember if it was here) that banning people is not showing love. I disagree completely. Trolls and others who break site rules should be banned. In fact, it's the loving thing to do. You're protecting the community from the garbage that people who are out to harm others bring in. However, I still think it's pretty sad if we taunt and insult the people on their way out. It's also pretty tacky to celebrate when they're gone. Many of them likely check back to see what kind of reaction, if any, there was to their departure.

I think if a person must reply to someone that gets under their skin, in one way or another, they should consider waiting a while before making said reply. Give your emotions a little time to settle and you're less likely to say something that shouldn't be said.

I had thoughts of making another thread a while back about some of this, but didn't...So I guess it gets to go here. I'll make this one count.
I'm not sure if I'll have anything else to add to the discussion here. I think I got out what was on my heart and mind...but I'll be reading if anything is added here.

 

[niceguyJ]

.......................................

 

[Raine]

Thanks for sharing niceguy. I think you definitely bring up a good point...

There was once I joined in a thread where everyone was literally bashing on the OP and afterwards I felt really bad. My comment was not straight up mean but had a trace of sarcasm in it. It was a good lesson for me... Afterwards I pmed them but the damage had already been done. You are right in saying that each of us are pursued by God's deep love, and because He lives in us we should demonstrate this more through our actions.

Ive learned here as well, in agreement with you guys, that most people who come here are seeking justification for their bad behaviors instead of actually seeking advice to follow... But who doesn't do that? I think the majority of us, when stuck in a situation do not or will not see the truth until we choose to. But later on, when that person is ready, they will remember your words of wisdom.

Also, last thing... We have to remember that this is online... The way we read and interpret things from other posters may not always be accurate.

 

[Fenner]

Nice guy I'm glad you posted this, a good reminder to me to be kind.

 

[Jullianna]

I like healthy discussions where people discuss topics/issues rather than personalities/personal attacks. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough for that. So....I like this thread, niceguyJ. Be the mature one. Walk away.

 

[Tintin]

I like healthy discussions where people discuss topics/issues rather than personalities/personal attacks. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough for that. So....I like this thread, niceguyJ. Be the mature one. Walk away.

Jullianna! It's great to see you on CC again! Welcome back.