Trying to heal a broken heart.

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prayer-warrior

Guest
#1
#1
I feel like the only thing that keeps me going to knowing Jesus is close to the broken hearted. I need some advice on how to heal a broken heart. I have been finding myself for past six months but yet there is still a great pain of betrayal from my sons father. I thought he was the one but ten years I was fooled to be a fool. Im looking for help from my brothers and sisters of what advice worked for you or hobbies or what ever it was to help you get over heart break.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#2
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#2
Others will have better advice I'm sure, but the one thing I know is that when you are walking through hell, you don't want to stop and make camp. Keep going one day at a time because you don't want this situation to be the final word on your life.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#3
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#3
I'm so sorry Prayer-Warrior, for what you're going through. I know that for me, these things helped:

1. Cut off as much contact as possible with the ex-spouse. When you talk to him, it just drags you right back to day 1. Keep things politely distant. No chit-chat. Nothing personal. You need distance from him to begin healing.

2. Spend lots of time with family and friends. Have a game night, throw a party, go out to dinner with the girls. Don't stay home alone when the kids are gone if you can help it. Empty house is thinking-about-past-life house.

3. Pray for your ex. Pray for yourself, that you'll be able to forgive him and put it behind you. BEG for this. God will help you if you seek him desperately.

4. Redirect your thoughts when you start picking apart the past. A certain amount of reflection is probably natural and good for our own growth, but questioning everything about your relationship with him... thinking too much about what happened, how you were betrayed, etc, is just feeding the pain. Cut it off as soon as you notice yourself doing it.

5. Try fun new things! You are a free woman! Enjoy it. Go out and do something you've always wanted to do. Redecorate your house. Plant a garden. Find a new hobby. Divert your mind and body with other things.

6. Exercise. Seriously. Not only will your body create endorphins which will make you happier, and release stress and tension and grief, it will make you look even more fabulous and improve your self-confidence.

7. Stick around here and get to know the Singles CC members. They are great about letting you vent, setting you straight, giving you comfort, being good company, helping you understand yourself, and encouraging you to grow in the Lord. So much wonderful!

8. Church participation. Yep. Throw yourself into ministry! How can we dwell on our own heartache when there are children to teach, homeless to feed, meals to cook for shut-ins, and visitors to welcome? Join a small group Bible study. Sign up to volunteer with the children's choir. You will be get to know and love your church family so much more personally, and be blessed abundantly.

Hope this helps some. :) Welcome to the forums!
 
Yowie

Yowie

Senior Member
#4
Aug 31, 2013
193
1
0
#4
I'm not sure if there's any easy way to get through it, but to keep going and trust that God will sort everything out. The biggest thing for me was realising what I initially thought would be how God would sort it out is not how it's happened. My journey was crazy, chaotic. There were times where I thought I would end up in the psych ward, but I kept having my ups and downs and trusting God and He has brought me through. When I say I kept trusting God, there were times where I questioned everything, even if God was here/there, but would say I need You to reveal yourself to me, I give up. And trusted if He is here/there then He would reveal Himself to me and He did. He is trustworthy.
 
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sassylady

Guest
#5
#5
You cannot heal your broken heart. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. You have to spend time each day with Him, give Him your life/day. Stay busy. If you need to cry then cry. I personally keep people out of my life that condemn me for whatever they think I'm doing wrong, or any part they feel I had in my situation. That is different than good advice when you need it. Find something to do that you enjoy. I like to knit or crochet while I watch tv. Don't try to figure out why you were betrayed, let God have that and let Him bring justice.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#6
sassylady said:
You cannot heal your broken heart. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. You have to spend time each day with Him, give Him your life/day. Stay busy. If you need to cry then cry. I personally keep people out of my life that condemn me for whatever they think I'm doing wrong, or any part they feel I had in my situation. That is different than good advice when you need it. Find something to do that you enjoy. I like to knit or crochet while I watch tv. Don't try to figure out why you were betrayed, let God have that and let Him bring justice.
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This is very good advice. Perhaps I could learn how to knit or crochet from online research. Knitting has to do with wool, right? God willing, I may live long enough to knit me a sweater but it will be close. By the time that I finish I would have forgotten why I started.
 
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Tiffins

Guest
#7
#7
God is the only one who really could heal me. We could pick up activities to distract us and find other lifestyles that pull us away from our previously routine life. Those things don't heal us but they do help in the healing process. In the long run it will always come down to God and putting him in the place of our children's father, or our previous loved one. I will definitely be praying for you and the timely healing of your heart's wounds.
 
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jeremyPJ

Guest
#8
#8
Do some things you've always wanted to do, but could not because of him. Can't tell you just how much it helped me. Visit friends, family, get involved with church. Take that trip with the girls or family you always wanted to. The local newspaper has activities, or the library is a good place to look. Anyplace that puts a bulletin board up by the entrance.

Maybe you always wanted to play guitar or sing? The church may accommodate that too. Just don't dwell too much in the past. Exercise is always good too.
Your future is much more important, God will lead if you ask him.
 
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eternaljoy907

Guest
#9
#9
This is all great advice, matching what my supporters have been telling me. I'm a newly single mom of 3 and I've noticed my emotions take me on a roller coaster from day to day. Some days are great and you feel no pain and then the next all the hurt and shame hits hard. Reminding myself that love is not only between man and woman but in every positive relationship has helped. Without someone bringing destruction to your days you find peace. Once in that peace, I find it easier to talk to god and build on that love which is what truly heals. I'm struggling with releasing my emotions to god because my ex trained me to stay closed off. I have high hopes that when it's time the walls will fall and I can be free to express myself, once I rediscover my identity without my ex. Practice noticing when the devil tempts you with doubt and despair so you can shut it down and remember you are someone worthy and god has great plans for you. Life is a box of chocolates and that's the fun in it, the unknown blessings to come :)
 
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