I'm wondering if many men are acting like little children in their marriage because they are expected to be nothing but children. After all, people joke all the time that men are nothing more then little children. Are we as a nation causing men to become less then responsible because they hear this from childbirth on up? Are many becoming less responsible because the expectations are just not there? What do you think.
The view: "Husbands are just another child to raise"
- Thread starter violakat
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I think parenting can have a bit of impact on this, but in general passivity has always been a struggle for men in general, and I think with the invention of adolescence in the mid-1940's and now this supposed extension of adolescence on into the 20's, it has created an environment that only enables men to free themselves of as much responsibility as possible.
I also think that this general concept of the ultimate goal in life being self-actualization also leads to this type of result. I would say, though, that a lot of the guys out there who may be living with their parents into their late 20's or [insert lazy male stereotype here] carry around some level of shame and discontentment over where they are, and what they really need is other men in their life to guide and push them to be better.
As far as lazy husbands go, I fear that this is still way too prevalent, and while I think it can be difficult for a woman to see that a man is going to eventually become that, it really does highlight the importance of being sure of what type of husband and father a man is going to be before you marry him.
I also think that this general concept of the ultimate goal in life being self-actualization also leads to this type of result. I would say, though, that a lot of the guys out there who may be living with their parents into their late 20's or [insert lazy male stereotype here] carry around some level of shame and discontentment over where they are, and what they really need is other men in their life to guide and push them to be better.
As far as lazy husbands go, I fear that this is still way too prevalent, and while I think it can be difficult for a woman to see that a man is going to eventually become that, it really does highlight the importance of being sure of what type of husband and father a man is going to be before you marry him.
R
I've heard of testimonies where women stop trying to be the boss and submitted to their husbands while praying for them... And thru the process they became great leaders in their families because the women decided to trust God and let him do the work instead of the women always nagging and complaining etc.
I come from a family where men tend to be looked down upon as well... Not saying I agree with that... But in my family all the men lack motivation and education, while all the women have some degree of some sort and are the primary financial providers.
I would like to believe that I wouldn't judge my future husband based on his finances... I don't think I would as long as I know that his heart is in the right place based upon my past experiences.
I come from a family where men tend to be looked down upon as well... Not saying I agree with that... But in my family all the men lack motivation and education, while all the women have some degree of some sort and are the primary financial providers.
I would like to believe that I wouldn't judge my future husband based on his finances... I don't think I would as long as I know that his heart is in the right place based upon my past experiences.
Of course, not all men are "babies needing to be raised" (plenty of women out there looking for substitute daddies as well) but I do always wonder why I know SO many single mothers who have been abandoned by the fathers of their children.
And, of course, nothing can be said entirely about one gender alone, as there are several women who have abandoned their kids as well...
But I'm always deeply saddened by the fact a father who pays child support, demands to spend time with his kids, remembers their birthdays, and pays for half their expenses... is seen as a very rare exception and not a rule. I've worked with and been friends with so many single mothers who have to fight to get a single dime from the father's of their children, let alone get them to visit, call, etc., that I had decided in my heart that if I ever had kids, I'd better be prepared to raise them by myself "just in case".
One of the things in life that upsets me like nothing else are guys who will complain about being abandoned by their own fathers... and then turn around and offer absolutely no support for their own children.
KUDOS to all you great dads out there!!!! We wish you were the rule and not the exception. (And, shouts of respect out to all the single moms... whether you have help from the father or not.)
And, of course, nothing can be said entirely about one gender alone, as there are several women who have abandoned their kids as well...
But I'm always deeply saddened by the fact a father who pays child support, demands to spend time with his kids, remembers their birthdays, and pays for half their expenses... is seen as a very rare exception and not a rule. I've worked with and been friends with so many single mothers who have to fight to get a single dime from the father's of their children, let alone get them to visit, call, etc., that I had decided in my heart that if I ever had kids, I'd better be prepared to raise them by myself "just in case".
One of the things in life that upsets me like nothing else are guys who will complain about being abandoned by their own fathers... and then turn around and offer absolutely no support for their own children.
KUDOS to all you great dads out there!!!! We wish you were the rule and not the exception. (And, shouts of respect out to all the single moms... whether you have help from the father or not.)
I know not all men are this way but there are definitely some. I've known some who spend all their time playing golf or feeding their sports addiction while barely giving attention to their wives or kids. Some men feel this is ok because they are the ones who earn the money that pays for everything so they don't feel the need to help with the day to day stuff and maybe even feel they deserve to enjoy themselves as much as they want since they are providing a house, car and everything else. Its not right, but it happens.
When I read threads like this, it forces me to come to these conclusions:
1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.
2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!
3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.
1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.
2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!
3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.
A
Making a generalized blanket statement about a group of people shows how judgmental we can be. It isn't right or just to lump everyone in a group together. That is what breeds hatred and fuels racism. However we have all been like this at one time or another and it's up to the Lord to open our minds and hearts on the subject.
When I read threads like this, it forces me to come to these conclusions:
1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.
2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!
3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.
1. I'm so glad God picked me out a good mate for life, 'cuz if I tried by myself, all odds are against me finding a good, godly woman. Way too many "wannabees" out there.
2. Whenever a CC couple gets married from meeting in the Singles Forum, it's a M-A-J-O-R M-I-R-A-C-L-E of EXTREME PROPORTIONS!
3. There will be always be singles of all ages in the Singles Forum, 'cuz they don't see nor expect any miracles here. Just read the threads. When the other person/gender is always a mess, well........ need I say more? I always hear it's someone else....... if folks are blaming the "other one", who really are the "children" here? Go to the mirror, be a grown-up, & blame that one.