Why do so many Christians avoid waiting until marriage now?

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BlackTigress777

Guest
#1
#1
As much as I love men, I have a HIGH respect for God and completely believe in him - so I refuse to have sex before I'm married (I avoid sexting, and sending nude pics as well).
I pretty much get anything I pray for, and the things I don't "get" - I receive a Huge lesson in return. The life and situations that I'm in and the many things that I study prove God's existence, and that he does indeed care for me.

So since I respect him, I try my best not to Sin. I know we're all born with it, and we can't 100% avoid it - but still, I try my Best.

Fornication is a Sin - why don't so many so called "Close to God" or "God first!" Christians wait until marriage anymore?

Think about it - now days, this world is Horrible. Non-married relationships do Not last - even while you're having sex in them! Married relationships (with people who have had sex in the past) don't last either! Does anyone think that Maybe fornication, past or present, has something to do with it?

I'm pretty sure that there is indeed other problems than just That, but still..My main question is - why don't so many Christians wait until marriage anymore? Is it disproven now..? Is fornication something different than having sex outside of marriage..?

Like, really..? Anyone else who's waiting until marriage that's absolutely frustrated?

Also..a weird thing to add on..I've actually met Atheists and Agnostics (who were surprisingly not as rude as majority of them are) who are actually Willing to wait...
...what gives? Seriously..? I'm just getting so frustrated.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#2
#2
You're asking the same question that many of us have been asking for a while, kiddo. A lot of us are equally frustrated...perhaps even more than you, since we've been on the market longer. ^_^
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#3
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#3
a lot of things go into the relationship failed stage.. I honestly think what kills most of it is the grass is greener syndrome + the all about me syndrome.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#4
#4
I'm frustrated that the Christian world is beginning to reflect more of the world than Christ, yes. I'm planning to wait until marriage but I also believe if someone has had a sexual past, and they're heartfelt in their repentance, they're righteous in God's eyes and there's a much better chance of marriage working.
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#5
#5
The problem I see is this: As human beings we still have a natural sex drive, there is nothing sinful about said drive as it is God given. And like 1 Corinthians 10:12 says, "wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall" the context of the scripture is sin and temptation... Many Christians, even those who truly love God, sometimes forget to 'take heed' and as Paul states, they fall.

On top of simple temptation and desire struggles we also have to deal with the culture of today which is, you date alone, you spend time in house alone, and worse still, relax in bedroom, only a couple of decades ago people double dated a lot, or they had a chaffeur who would escort them to and from the date. This is not the social norm anymore and thus sin is increasing at a fast rate.

If people realised how precious and important their virginity and their sexual purity is, they would fight to keep it. I have nothing against those who fell and with a pure and repentant heart before God turned away from their sin, I would still be up for marrying them. However this "trying before buying" system (no you dont buy your wife but its the same idea) is a modern normality even between friends, it no longer is sacred or special and sadly, its an increasing chink in the chain that is the Church stornghold...many unsaved people say why would they run to the church when people behave the same as they do...
 
ChandlerFan

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
#6
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#6
BlackTigress777 said:
As much as I love men, I have a HIGH respect for God and completely believe in him - so I refuse to have sex before I'm married (I avoid sexting, and sending nude pics as well).
I pretty much get anything I pray for, and the things I don't "get" - I receive a Huge lesson in return. The life and situations that I'm in and the many things that I study prove God's existence, and that he does indeed care for me.

So since I respect him, I try my best not to Sin. I know we're all born with it, and we can't 100% avoid it - but still, I try my Best.

Fornication is a Sin - why don't so many so called "Close to God" or "God first!" Christians wait until marriage anymore?

Think about it - now days, this world is Horrible. Non-married relationships do Not last - even while you're having sex in them! Married relationships (with people who have had sex in the past) don't last either! Does anyone think that Maybe fornication, past or present, has something to do with it?

I'm pretty sure that there is indeed other problems than just That, but still..My main question is - why don't so many Christians wait until marriage anymore? Is it disproven now..? Is fornication something different than having sex outside of marriage..?

Like, really..? Anyone else who's waiting until marriage that's absolutely frustrated?

Also..a weird thing to add on..I've actually met Atheists and Agnostics (who were surprisingly not as rude as majority of them are) who are actually Willing to wait...
...what gives? Seriously..? I'm just getting so frustrated.
Click to expand...
There are still guys like that out there. (I'm one of them.) Just stay patient :)
 
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Natt

Guest
#7
#7
It's hard to stay pure and sex-free before marriage especially when now it has become a norm for most single people..its kinda somewhat fulfilling when i know that I have kept one of my promises to God, and that is to never engage into sex not until im married..im often mocked about it but iI dont even feel any bit of embarassment but instead im proud of myself with God's help that i have stayed firm..if the guy cant wait until the night of your marriage, then he is not the one for you..
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#8
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#8
Natt said:
It's hard to stay pure and sex-free before marriage especially when now it has become a norm for most single people..its kinda somewhat fulfilling when i know that I have kept one of my promises to God, and that is to never engage into sex not until im married..im often mocked about it but iI dont even feel any bit of embarassment but instead im proud of myself with God's help that i have stayed firm..if the guy cant wait until the night of your marriage, then he is not the one for you..
Click to expand...
Not true. Who are we to judge a guy if God has forgiven him? What if it was a mistake in the past? Are you going to hold it against him? I think what matters is a person's present and future. Everybody has a closet full of skeletons. As long as the past is forgiven by God, there should be nothing to worry.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#9
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#9
I think part of the reason is the waning popularity of marriage. A lot of young people aren't seeing any benefits to being married anymore which kind of makes sense due to high divorce rates. But then if you aren't getting married then technically they would never have sex. So it comes down to getting married just for the sex or just having sex. I think they choose the lesser of two evils. Im not saying its right, but it does make sense.
 
Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
#10
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#10
BlackTigress777 said:
As much as I love men, I have a HIGH respect for God and completely believe in him - so I refuse to have sex before I'm married (I avoid sexting, and sending nude pics as well).
I pretty much get anything I pray for, and the things I don't "get" - I receive a Huge lesson in return. The life and situations that I'm in and the many things that I study prove God's existence, and that he does indeed care for me.

So since I respect him, I try my best not to Sin. I know we're all born with it, and we can't 100% avoid it - but still, I try my Best.

Fornication is a Sin - why don't so many so called "Close to God" or "God first!" Christians wait until marriage anymore?

Think about it - now days, this world is Horrible. Non-married relationships do Not last - even while you're having sex in them! Married relationships (with people who have had sex in the past) don't last either! Does anyone think that Maybe fornication, past or present, has something to do with it?

I'm pretty sure that there is indeed other problems than just That, but still..My main question is - why don't so many Christians wait until marriage anymore? Is it disproven now..? Is fornication something different than having sex outside of marriage..?

Like, really..? Anyone else who's waiting until marriage that's absolutely frustrated?

Also..a weird thing to add on..I've actually met Atheists and Agnostics (who were surprisingly not as rude as majority of them are) who are actually Willing to wait...
...what gives? Seriously..? I'm just getting so frustrated.
Click to expand...
I get how it can be frustrating and discouraging if you notice Christians fail. But, you know you might be looking at this the wrong way... I mean you seem to compare Atheist against Christians as if Christianity is a good deeds based philosophy. Its not.

There's Christian men who waiting until marriage. Trust me, they're out there. ;)
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#11
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#11
You know what I find interesting? Some people who are completely without any religion or faith whatsoever have still managed to discover the benefits of intentional celibacy. I think it's referred to as "secular celibacy".

It's fascinating to me that these "secular celibates" are discovering truths that Christians and people of other faiths have known for thousands of years -- there are plenty of benefits to abstaining from sex and instead reserving it for a committed monogamous relationship (marriage, for us Christians).

Anyway, I would encourage you to not feel too discouraged about other people not waiting for marriage. I think the best we can do is pray for them, because the decision to remain celibate until marriage is a deeply personal one, and one that requires conviction by the Holy Spirit. Focus on your own Christian walk, and please know that there ARE Christian men and women out there (and on CC!) who are saving themselves for marriage. You're not alone. :)
 
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amymine712

Guest
#12
#12
Roh_Chris said:
Not true. Who are we to judge a guy if God has forgiven him? What if it was a mistake in the past? Are you going to hold it against him? I think what matters is a person's present and future. Everybody has a closet full of skeletons. As long as the past is forgiven by God, there should be nothing to worry.
Click to expand...
I think she was talking in the present...you know... a guy you are dating is pushing for sex. At least that is how I read it.
 
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amymine712

Guest
#13
#13
I think past sins that have been repented for and turned from should not be held against a person. Automatically saying that a Christian with past sexual encounters will fail at marriage isn't right. I have a sexual past. Some of it my fault and some of it abuse. I have turned from that sin and repented. I have studied relationships, marriage, sex and love in the bible. I have learned to love myself and others...to forgive. I am as ready for marriage as I can be with the Lord's guidance and forgiveness. It wasn't an easy or fast process but I followed God's lead and will continue to follow His will for my life. You shouldn't mark a person off because of their past unless they show signs of still living it.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#14
#14
amymine712 said:
I think past sins that have been repented for and turned from should not be held against a person. Automatically saying that a Christian with past sexual encounters will fail at marriage isn't right. I have a sexual past. Some of it my fault and some of it abuse. I have turned from that sin and repented. I have studied relationships, marriage, sex and love in the bible. I have learned to love myself and others...to forgive. I am as ready for marriage as I can be with the Lord's guidance and forgiveness. It wasn't an easy or fast process but I followed God's lead and will continue to follow His will for my life. You shouldn't mark a person off because of their past unless they show signs of still living it.
Click to expand...
Amen, my dear sister! Amen! Keep living for Him, keeping dying to your old self and rising to new life in Christ. That's the Christian way. God's doing a great work in you. God bless you, Amy.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#15
#15
Yeah, as said above, blaming failed marriages on pre-marital sex has no support or validity. Sure, there could be some occasions where it is a factor, but not the key problem. Its actually reported one of the (possibly even the) biggest reasons for failed marriages is financial issues. Not pre-marital sex.

But another factor to consider in why Christians struggle with sex is that it's become the norm. And if you get saved after having come out of that lifestyle it can be difficult to stop. Granted some Christians (even who come from Christian upbringings) make a conscious choice to have sex, i think a larger majority struggle with it rather than accept it. So that's part of the problem in your post is that it seems to presume a Christian who has had sex done so without regret.
 
A

amymine712

Guest
#16
#16
Tintin said:
Amen, my dear sister! Amen! Keep living for Him, keeping dying to your old self and rising to new life in Christ. That's the Christian way. God's doing a great work in you. God bless you, Amy.
Click to expand...
I pray God continues to do so. I don't want to become stagnant in my faith or content to stop learning. I want to remain pliable in His hands.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#17
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#17
Natt said:
It's hard to stay pure and sex-free before marriage especially when now it has become a norm for most single people..its kinda somewhat fulfilling when i know that I have kept one of my promises to God, and that is to never engage into sex not until im married..im often mocked about it but iI dont even feel any bit of embarassment but instead im proud of myself with God's help that i have stayed firm..if the guy cant wait until the night of your marriage, then he is not the one for you..
Click to expand...
Hang tough. Stay strong.

There will be Christians guys who find your decision and determination very attractive!
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#18
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#18
Ugly said:
Yeah, as said above, blaming failed marriages on pre-marital sex has no support or validity. Sure, there could be some occasions where it is a factor, but not the key problem. Its actually reported one of the (possibly even the) biggest reasons for failed marriages is financial issues. Not pre-marital sex.

But another factor to consider in why Christians struggle with sex is that it's become the norm. And if you get saved after having come out of that lifestyle it can be difficult to stop. Granted some Christians (even who come from Christian upbringings) make a conscious choice to have sex, i think a larger majority struggle with it rather than accept it. So that's part of the problem in your post is that it seems to presume a Christian who has had sex done so without regret.
Click to expand...
There is plenty out there on fornication and it's affects on marriage. I'm not saying fornication is the main reason or the only reason for divorce, but I also won't put it as some minor or insignificant factor, either.

4 links:

Christianity Today

DivorcePeers.com

Journal of Marriage and Family

MarriageRomance.com
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#19
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#19
Three words....

Because its easier!

In the short term anyway its far easier to not wait. Having been dealing with the accusations of being gay and numerous other similar things for years I can tell you waiting is probably the hardest thing to deal with as a christian especially since the media is so focused on sex. The bible says we are to avoid the appearance of evil, but how do yo manage that when the very act of avoiding the appearance of evil (waiting till marriage) makes you appear evil (gay) to the rest of the world because you aren't sleeping with every woman who comes around. Being a celibate single male isn't easy in this world.
 
A

Atwood

Senior Member
#20
May 1, 2014
4,995
53
48
#20
BlackTigress777 said:
As much as I love men, I have a HIGH respect for God and completely believe in him - so I refuse to have sex before I'm married (I avoid sexting, and sending nude pics as well).
Click to expand...
Very good post, Tigress. I wonder why you used "avoid" instead of "would never do"? But I don't mean to quibble over words.

But let me ask you another question, why do you have the screen name "BlackTigress"?
 
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