B
Idk what is going on with me. I'm so much better off now than I was with my son's dad, but I'm still suffering. Yes, I call it suffering.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]Baby daddy lives out of state, I just moved to a different state, no child support and the man I worked with said nothing we can do, b/c he has no job on file. Since I just moved I have no job. I went on interviews, received plenty of rejection emails, set up a linkedin account and tried to network, and still I receive nothing. I live with my parents which is ok but not ok because we live in a one room hotel room since we just moved here and the neighbors are sketchy. I have a fear that I'll have to live in a homeless shelter or something because I'm poor and I fear my son won't get the upbringing he deserves. I'm angry for many reasons. I'm angry I didn't know what to expect with having a kid, I'm angry my son's dad didn't want me, I'm angry I had to file bankruptcy, I'm angry society looks down on me for being a single mom not knowing my story I'm angry I'm losing control of my son to my mom, I'm angry I can't get my opinions expressed, I'm angry I don't have a job, I'm angry because I feel trapped and can't afford to move from my parents, I'm angry I can't live in college dorms, I'm angry I'm so dependent when I'm an independent person and am ready for it. I love my son but sometimes I get so frustrated with him for little things and he's only one years old. I've become easily agitated and bitter. I see many people complain of issues I wish I had. If one says "Hubby doesn't spend enough time with lo," at least you have a hubby there. Or another may complain "We only make $2000 a month and idk how we'll make it" Yeah, I wish I made three quarters of that. Or "I can't stand this job" At least you have one.[/FONT]
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I'm unemployed, a single mom, no child support even though a court order, my mother breathing down my neck most of the time, no car because it broke down, no job because I just moved and can't find one, no friends because I just moved, and the list goes on. Plus there's a chance my sleep will be disturbed tonight because my son is sick. Yes I'm very pissed.[/FONT]
The only good thing I have going for me is God, my son, and I'm in college online.
You know, I love love love my son, but I have to get rid of this anger for mine and my son's sake.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I can't sleep, I need someone to talk to because I feel like I'm about to lose it. This can't be my life. It's so messed up. Please pray hard for me. This stuff I'm going through is ridiculous. I asked the Lord to help me with my anger. I'm a sweet girl and I don't know why anger is my struggle but it is but it can't be with my son. It's weird, my head hurts, I feel like crying, yet I feel like screaming all at the same time.
I don't get it. This is not the girl who Christ saved. Who is this person I'm turning into and why...[/FONT]
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]Baby daddy lives out of state, I just moved to a different state, no child support and the man I worked with said nothing we can do, b/c he has no job on file. Since I just moved I have no job. I went on interviews, received plenty of rejection emails, set up a linkedin account and tried to network, and still I receive nothing. I live with my parents which is ok but not ok because we live in a one room hotel room since we just moved here and the neighbors are sketchy. I have a fear that I'll have to live in a homeless shelter or something because I'm poor and I fear my son won't get the upbringing he deserves. I'm angry for many reasons. I'm angry I didn't know what to expect with having a kid, I'm angry my son's dad didn't want me, I'm angry I had to file bankruptcy, I'm angry society looks down on me for being a single mom not knowing my story I'm angry I'm losing control of my son to my mom, I'm angry I can't get my opinions expressed, I'm angry I don't have a job, I'm angry because I feel trapped and can't afford to move from my parents, I'm angry I can't live in college dorms, I'm angry I'm so dependent when I'm an independent person and am ready for it. I love my son but sometimes I get so frustrated with him for little things and he's only one years old. I've become easily agitated and bitter. I see many people complain of issues I wish I had. If one says "Hubby doesn't spend enough time with lo," at least you have a hubby there. Or another may complain "We only make $2000 a month and idk how we'll make it" Yeah, I wish I made three quarters of that. Or "I can't stand this job" At least you have one.[/FONT]
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I'm unemployed, a single mom, no child support even though a court order, my mother breathing down my neck most of the time, no car because it broke down, no job because I just moved and can't find one, no friends because I just moved, and the list goes on. Plus there's a chance my sleep will be disturbed tonight because my son is sick. Yes I'm very pissed.[/FONT]
The only good thing I have going for me is God, my son, and I'm in college online.
You know, I love love love my son, but I have to get rid of this anger for mine and my son's sake.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I can't sleep, I need someone to talk to because I feel like I'm about to lose it. This can't be my life. It's so messed up. Please pray hard for me. This stuff I'm going through is ridiculous. I asked the Lord to help me with my anger. I'm a sweet girl and I don't know why anger is my struggle but it is but it can't be with my son. It's weird, my head hurts, I feel like crying, yet I feel like screaming all at the same time.
I don't get it. This is not the girl who Christ saved. Who is this person I'm turning into and why...[/FONT]