Single mom about to lose it

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#1
Idk what is going on with me. I'm so much better off now than I was with my son's dad, but I'm still suffering. Yes, I call it suffering.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]Baby daddy lives out of state, I just moved to a different state, no child support and the man I worked with said nothing we can do, b/c he has no job on file. Since I just moved I have no job. I went on interviews, received plenty of rejection emails, set up a linkedin account and tried to network, and still I receive nothing. I live with my parents which is ok but not ok because we live in a one room hotel room since we just moved here and the neighbors are sketchy. I have a fear that I'll have to live in a homeless shelter or something because I'm poor and I fear my son won't get the upbringing he deserves. I'm angry for many reasons. I'm angry I didn't know what to expect with having a kid, I'm angry my son's dad didn't want me, I'm angry I had to file bankruptcy, I'm angry society looks down on me for being a single mom not knowing my story I'm angry I'm losing control of my son to my mom, I'm angry I can't get my opinions expressed, I'm angry I don't have a job, I'm angry because I feel trapped and can't afford to move from my parents, I'm angry I can't live in college dorms, I'm angry I'm so dependent when I'm an independent person and am ready for it. I love my son but sometimes I get so frustrated with him for little things and he's only one years old. I've become easily agitated and bitter. I see many people complain of issues I wish I had. If one says "Hubby doesn't spend enough time with lo," at least you have a hubby there. Or another may complain "We only make $2000 a month and idk how we'll make it" Yeah, I wish I made three quarters of that. Or "I can't stand this job" At least you have one.[/FONT]
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I'm unemployed, a single mom, no child support even though a court order, my mother breathing down my neck most of the time, no car because it broke down, no job because I just moved and can't find one, no friends because I just moved, and the list goes on. Plus there's a chance my sleep will be disturbed tonight because my son is sick. Yes I'm very pissed.[/FONT]
The only good thing I have going for me is God, my son, and I'm in college online.
You know, I love love love my son, but I have to get rid of this anger for mine and my son's sake.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I can't sleep, I need someone to talk to because I feel like I'm about to lose it. This can't be my life. It's so messed up. Please pray hard for me. This stuff I'm going through is ridiculous. I asked the Lord to help me with my anger. I'm a sweet girl and I don't know why anger is my struggle but it is but it can't be with my son. It's weird, my head hurts, I feel like crying, yet I feel like screaming all at the same time.
I don't get it. This is not the girl who Christ saved. Who is this person I'm turning into and why...
[/FONT]
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#2
I believe you are angry at yourself for making bad decisions and your son is being effected by them. You need to stop the blame game and ask the Lord for forgiveness for your hardened hard, and ask Him for directions to get back on the path of righteousness. You are blaming the world for mistakes you made ... that will not help you.
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#3
I believe you are angry at yourself for making bad decisions and your son is being effected by them. You need to stop the blame game and ask the Lord for forgiveness for your hardened hard, and ask Him for directions to get back on the path of righteousness. You are blaming the world for mistakes you made ... that will not help you.
I probably am angry at myself. As far as the repentant part, I did repent. I've repented to God many times, including tonight. I cried very hard in the bathroom asking God to forgive me and telling Him I was sorry. I've been asking Him for years to help me with my anger and He has, but I don't know why I still have spurts of anger every now and again. It's not good for my son to see and I want to get help. And encouragement which your post was not very encouraging. I'm already in a sensitive and vulnerable situation, I could at least use some kind of sensitivity.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#4
Do you have a church that you are going to in your new area? If not then go and find one and speak with the Pastor and ask for his advice. Have you checked out social services in your area? If you don't have a job you should be able to get food stamps and assistance.

I know being a single mother is hard I was one. I did have a job but at times I was not making enough money so I cleaned houses for people to get grocery money. What I did not have was a support system as both of my parents were dead. My daughters father lived in another country so there was no child support. When I went to the grocery store I had to put Melisa in one cart and pull another cart behind me to hold the groceries because I could not afford a babysitter and they did not have those nice little baby seats on the carts like they do now. We made it though through all the tough times Melisa is now 34.

Please seek outside help and there may be people other than your parents that can help with the baby at church, maybe they have a single mother support group somewhere that you could search for on the internet that is in your area.

Praying that you will give your problems to the Lord and rest in His loving arms, that you will seek the outside help for finances and support. As one single mother to another You Can Do This it won't be easy, but it can be done. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#5
Hey there! First of all, welcome to CC. Let me tell you that nobody is perfect here. We each have our daily struggles, but we help each other however we can. I am sure that you will find this community to be a source of strength in your time of need.

I am sorry that you have to go through a hard time. To some extent I understand how it feels to be without a job and be dependent on your parents when you are ready to be independent yourself. Let me give you a few words of encouragement.

When I think of hardships, I am always reminded of two passages in the Scripture - Psalms 30 and Ecclesiastes 3.

Psalms 30 (KJV)
5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.


Think of a sine wave.



The highest point on the wave is called a crest and the lowest point on the wave is called a trough. The line that runs through the centre of the wave is called the axis. Life is like a long sine wave. There are troughs and crests. Each trough is always followed by a crest and each crest is always followed by a trough. This is how the Bible tells us our lives will be. It does not matter if you are saved or unsaved, good or bad, righteous or sinner, your life will follow this pattern. But the Bible gives us hope! Now only do we know that there will be a crest right after a trough, we are also told that we have an axis with us! That axis is Jesus Himself! He is the one constant in our entire life, be it in highs or lows, joy or sorrow, laughter or tears, birth or death.

So dear sister, I wish to tell you that despite all that you are going through, do not give up hope. Hang in there! Just know that Jesus is with you, no matter what happens or what people tell you. And He has promised us through His Word that the good times are just around the corner! It does not take much for God to open that window of opportunity for you. But for God to do it, you have to hold on to Him! Keep praying with faith and do not give up. Your crest is just around the corner, right after this trough! :)
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#6
Do you have a church that you are going to in your new area? If not then go and find one and speak with the Pastor and ask for his advice. Have you checked out social services in your area? If you don't have a job you should be able to get food stamps and assistance.

I know being a single mother is hard I was one. I did have a job but at times I was not making enough money so I cleaned houses for people to get grocery money. What I did not have was a support system as both of my parents were dead. My daughters father lived in another country so there was no child support. When I went to the grocery store I had to put Melisa in one cart and pull another cart behind me to hold the groceries because I could not afford a babysitter and they did not have those nice little baby seats on the carts like they do now. We made though through all the tough times Melisa is now 34.

Please seek outside help and there may be people other than your parents that can help with the baby at church, maybe they have a single mother support group somewhere that you could search for on the internet that is in your area.

Praying that you will give your problems to the Lord and rest in His loving arms, that you will seek the outside help for finances and support. As one single mother to another You Can Do This it won't be easy, but it can be done. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
Here's the thing, my parents moved so they can start a church. They have randomly visited some, but didn't stay at any even though I wanted to. I grew up like that too, going church to church to church and it's very very very frustrating. Yes, I will be unfortunately be looking into social services which will only offer my foods stamps and like 300 a month welfare money which is no where near enough to live on my own. Thank you for the suggestions.

How did you do it? How does anyone get through being a single mom without breaking? I don't know what I'm doing wrong because I'm breaking. Thank you for sharing your story but how did you do it without getting easily frustrated with your child? I need help with that. I get easily frustrated with my one year old even though he doesn't know what he's doing and I don't feel as connected to him as I should. Yes I do have my parents but they are there too much and it's overwhelming and I don't feel like a mom when they're around, it's like my mom is the mom and my son seems closer to her than me. Then I get discouraged and I just don't care anymore because there's nothing I can do. I've tried to talk to my mom to set boundaries and she gets offended. How did you do it? I need to know. I'm tired of people acting like parenting is easy, you know the types, I need to know how it's done. People look at my crazy when I say I absolutely want no more kids, I mean it, it's too too hard.

My mom is strongly against babysitters other than her, for good reason, but still. It would cause too many issues to have someone else watch my son.

I hope it can be done. I don't want to blow up at my son because the situation is so dark. I've really been praying about my anger. I don't understand it but I want it gone. I don't want my son to grow up in a house of anger. I have to get it under control now because if I don't, it'll destroy me and what's around me. I can't let that happen and God doesn't want that to happen.
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#7
Hey there! First of all, welcome to CC. Let me tell you that nobody is perfect here. We each have our daily struggles, but we help each other however we can. I am sure that you will find this community to be a source of strength in your time of need.

I am sorry that you have to go through a hard time. To some extent I understand how it feels to be without a job and be dependent on your parents when you are ready to be independent yourself. Let me give you a few words of encouragement.

When I think of hardships, I am always reminded of two passages in the Scripture - Psalms 30 and Ecclesiastes 3.

Psalms 30 (KJV)
5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.


Think of a sine wave.



The highest point on the wave is called a crest and the lowest point on the wave is called a trough. The line that runs through the centre of the wave is called the axis. Life is like a long sine wave. There are troughs and crests. Each trough is always followed by a crest and each crest is always followed by a trough. This is how the Bible tells us our lives will be. It does not matter if you are saved or unsaved, good or bad, righteous or sinner, your life will follow this pattern. But the Bible gives us hope! Now only do we know that there will be a crest right after a trough, we are also told that we have an axis with us! That axis is Jesus Himself! He is the one constant in our entire life, be it in highs or lows, joy or sorrow, laughter or tears, birth or death.

So dear sister, I wish to tell you that despite all that you are going through, do not give up hope. Hang in there! Just know that Jesus is with you, no matter what happens or what people tell you. And He has promised us through His Word that the good times are just around the corner! It does not take much for God to open that window of opportunity for you. But for God to do it, you have to hold on to Him! Keep praying with faith and do not give up. Your crest is just around the corner, right after this trough! :)
Thank you so much for that analogy. I never saw it like that before. Thank you...

I just feel so sad. That's what happens. I'm ok, then I'm really angry about something that happened, then I just get so sad.

I can't give up. Jesus is my axis, He's never failed before and though this is the toughest time in my life, He can't fail me now. I've come too far...
I'm discouraged but there is hope for me.
I'm going to copy and paste your post and save it on my computer for something to reference to in the future. Thank you
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#8
Thank you so much for that analogy. I never saw it like that before. Thank you...

I just feel so sad. That's what happens. I'm ok, then I'm really angry about something that happened, then I just get so sad.

I can't give up. Jesus is my axis, He's never failed before and though this is the toughest time in my life, He can't fail me now. I've come too far...
I'm discouraged but there is hope for me.
I'm going to copy and paste your post and save it on my computer for something to reference to in the future. Thank you
You are most welcome. I don't deserve any bit of that thanks because I wasn't the one who typed all that. I had no idea what to write when I was reading your post. It was God Himself who wanted to give you that message. I am just a layman messenger who was doing the job.

God has a wonderful plan for you. Despite what you think of yourself or what others think of you, He has a wonderful plan for you! This is why He has brought you to CC. This is why He is talking to you through us. Don't give up hope. Cling on to your axis - Jesus, and He will guide you through! :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
Hi bronze
I can understand some of what you're going through. I spent 4 years living in my car. I was frustrated that the person i was dating them seemed to uninterested in helping me, but often sought me to help them with various things. I've been jobless. Now i have had medical problems. Our situations may be a bit different, but i get the feelings that struggles bring. If you haven't found anyone to talk to feel free to message me. But there are some awesome ladies here if you'd be more comfortable chatting one on one with a woman. I can point you to some women if you'd like.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#10
Bronzegirl I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have two kids and I understand the frustration. I'm not a single Mom but I remember having a toddler is challenging. Or in your case almost a toddler. It's good to talk or write about it, that's one way to get the frustration out. I know having contact with other humans when my kids were that young helped, even if it's on line.

When you get some help from social services ask about any programs in the area that would help single parents. If you ever want to vent privately you can pm me. I will be praying for you.
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#11
Hi bronze
I can understand some of what you're going through. I spent 4 years living in my car. I was frustrated that the person i was dating them seemed to uninterested in helping me, but often sought me to help them with various things. I've been jobless. Now i have had medical problems. Our situations may be a bit different, but i get the feelings that struggles bring. If you haven't found anyone to talk to feel free to message me. But there are some awesome ladies here if you'd be more comfortable chatting one on one with a woman. I can point you to some women if you'd like.
Now that I'd gotten some sleep, I can think a little better. I'm so sorry you had to live in your car. :( That's terrible that the person you dated acted so cruel. Thank you for writing and yes, I can use all the people to talk to that I can. Thank you for sharing.
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#12
Bronzegirl I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have two kids and I understand the frustration. I'm not a single Mom but I remember having a toddler is challenging. Or in your case almost a toddler. It's good to talk or write about it, that's one way to get the frustration out. I know having contact with other humans when my kids were that young helped, even if it's on line.

When you get some help from social services ask about any programs in the area that would help single parents. If you ever want to vent privately you can pm me. I will be praying for you.
Yes it is challenging. He's only one but acts like terrible twos already with the throwing fits and falling out and crying and yelling when he can't get his way. It's going to be a long road.
I will ask about any single mom programs, I doubt they do have anything specifically for single moms but then again, you never know.
I wish I didn't have to deal with social services at all. Thank you for the prayers because I badly need them.
 
B

bronzedoll

Guest
#13
Update: I feel so much better. I feel back to myself. I got off the computer and got on the phone on two prayer lines. The last woman that prayed for me was phenominal and the others gave me tough love yet encouraging love and I literally felt God's prescence again. I went into the bathroom and prayed and cried to God. I told Him I was sorry over and over again.
One thing the woman on the phone said was that I can't be forgiven unless I forgive. I began to realize that I have held grudges against so many people without even knowing it a lot of the time. I truly need to let go and I have prayed and asked the Lord to help me do this.
Another prayer warrior told me once I get my relationship good with God, I'll get a relationship with my son. This as well is true. I have to stay reading the Bible constantly. It's my daily bread, and I've only been eating a little. One or two scriptures is not enough, I need more of it. The more of the Word I have in me, it is my sword to fight those terrible torturing thoughts that are not of God. I need the Word to keep my mind and my heart stayed on God's word, in return comes self control, a fruit of the Spirit, and love, another fruit, where anger will no longer be an issue and where my son can grow up with a happy mom thus, being happy himself. I want my son to see the Lord in me, not anything evil but everything good.

I feel a lot better, I'm just sleepy. God is awesome and amazing. He always is. He's never failed me though many times I have failed Him but He still has good things in store for me and He still loves me. When I hurt, God hurts and He will take vengeance on my situation but I have to let it go completely in order for Him to handle it completely. Forgiveness is what I need to do and turning off the tv and computer and turning to the Word and meditating on the Word will help me greatly. I just have to take a good chunk of time out of my day, and spend it doing things that will strengthen my spirit. I can't go on facebook, reading a few verses that scroll by and think that alone will keep me. I'm learning so much and it's such a humbling experience for me. I want so much with God, I want to draw closer to Him, I want to see angels, I want God to use me to help people and to get people healed and delivered. I want to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I already have the gift of dreams. I'll dream things and they do happen. I was able to help a few times with that gift and I thank God for it. I want so much of God and when I get older, I want more and more of the Holy Spirit until my cup overflows.
I suppose this is a wilderness experience to prepare me for the great things God has for His people. God is amazing <3 God bless you all and I love you all in Christ Jesus.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#14
Yes it is challenging. He's only one but acts like terrible twos already with the throwing fits and falling out and crying and yelling when he can't get his way. It's going to be a long road.
I will ask about any single mom programs, I doubt they do have anything specifically for single moms but then again, you never know.
I wish I didn't have to deal with social services at all. Thank you for the prayers because I badly need them.

When my husband lost his job, I was pregnant with our 2nd child, I had to apply for Medicaid. I wasn't thrilled, but it helped immensely. They directed me to the WIC office and I was able to get Juice, milk and formula for my family. It was such a God send for us. Having two children under the age of two and my husband having very limited income was so hard. I am pleased to say that time is past us.

I know God will get you through this.
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#15
I'm praying for you bronzedoll. I do understand your situation. Everyone has their issues, your faith in Jesus will make you stronger. And finding the right church will help too, if it is one where the people are active in the community. I would suggest you find a good therapist, as this has helped me tremendously. Even if you have to forego classes for a while to afford it. Find a good one, ask around. They aren't all the same, your church can probably help you with this, or some of the members can. I know so many people with such problems, yet all a bit different but similar. The Lord never gives us more then we can handle. God bless you and your family!