Hey Everyone,
For anyone wondering about the origin of these threads and thinking, "Good grief, Seoul, what is this, a marathon???!", I give a full explanation in my "Part 1", post #1, and a shorter summary in "Part 2", post #56.
As a Christian, how do you handle it when someone "wants to tell you something..." but the "something" happens to be how they feel about someone else? How do we define what is, and what is not, gossip, and how do we handle it?
I'm at a loss of what to do when the men who private message me to "correct my faulty thinking" and thoroughly point out how they are right and everyone else is wrong then launch into long diatribes about other members here. First of all, these men are complete strangers to me. I don't know them. They don't know me. But, apparently, they feel a "calling from God" to write me, tell me everything I'm doing wrong, and in the process, tell me about everything they feel others here are doing wrong as well (even mentioning names).
Now as I said, my reaction of choice is to just walk away. But since one person actually used one of my posts against me to imply I that I said I would answer and was backing out of what I myself had said, here I am, wondering how one should react to such a situation.
One of the most inflammatory topics here is the subject of prenuptial agreements. Now, as a formerly married woman who once came home from work to find my husband had moved out in the middle of the day without telling me, I myself fully believe in prenuptial agreements in certain situations, but that has to be determined by the couple and by God. I don't believe they're for everyone but I do believe it's a very personal choice that must be handled by the couple, the appropriate Christian counsel, and of course, God, and I don't feel that we, as outsiders, have the right to judge their decision. But many people disagree with that view, and I can respect that.
However, how does one react when, let's say for example, a stranger writes you and says, "I can't believe people here are writing in support of prenuptial agreements!!! This is obviously unGodly, selfish and blasphemous!", then goes on to talk about other people who have supported such issue and implies that they too are unGodly, selfish blasphemers. As a Christian, what do you do? I know most everyone will say to simply ignore it, but as I said, the problem with private messaging is that sometimes you will continue to be bullied for an answer, and I usually never put someone on Ignore because I want to be aware of what's going on. I am also flabbergasted by the fact that strangers who see themselves as righteous will go to all the trouble of writing someone they don't know, thoroughly slam other people they don't know... and yet still somehow see themselves as not doing anything wrong. Surely it's everyone else who is wrong, not them.
So what if someone, whether here or in real life, will say something to you such as, "Robert has only been here 2 months but talks as if he owns the place. Who does he think he is? Personally, I think he's had some major failures in his life and he's acting that way because he's trying to compensate and cover up for his mistakes. I hate even listening to him--his voice is like a clanging symbol in my ears, and it makes me wonder what he's hiding."
The thing is, I've actually had these situations happen, whether in writing or in real life, and while I know most people will say, just let it go and walk away, my heart is always burning because as a Christian, I feel the need to say something in defense of the person but am never sure of how to reply. Just last week at work, some co-workers were talking about and making fun of a manager and I REALLY REALLY wanted to say something in his defense... but I wasn't of how to go about it... or what to even say.
Furthermore, what if you know things the other person doesn't know about the situation but yet don't want to become a gossip yourself? What if people are pointing out Robert's supposed character flaws but you know something they don't, such as, that Robert has cancer and his wife has just left him because of it?
As a Christian, what do you do? You surely won't tell someone else, let alone people you don't know, about Robert's personal business. But at the same time... God calls us to defend and speak well of people. Is walking away and just praying about the situation always the best way to handle it?
I am truly torn over this and would really like to hear what you think. Don't feel you have to stick with my examples-- if possible, I'd rather hear about your real-life experiences and how you've chosen to handle it.
For anyone wondering about the origin of these threads and thinking, "Good grief, Seoul, what is this, a marathon???!", I give a full explanation in my "Part 1", post #1, and a shorter summary in "Part 2", post #56.
As a Christian, how do you handle it when someone "wants to tell you something..." but the "something" happens to be how they feel about someone else? How do we define what is, and what is not, gossip, and how do we handle it?
I'm at a loss of what to do when the men who private message me to "correct my faulty thinking" and thoroughly point out how they are right and everyone else is wrong then launch into long diatribes about other members here. First of all, these men are complete strangers to me. I don't know them. They don't know me. But, apparently, they feel a "calling from God" to write me, tell me everything I'm doing wrong, and in the process, tell me about everything they feel others here are doing wrong as well (even mentioning names).
Now as I said, my reaction of choice is to just walk away. But since one person actually used one of my posts against me to imply I that I said I would answer and was backing out of what I myself had said, here I am, wondering how one should react to such a situation.
One of the most inflammatory topics here is the subject of prenuptial agreements. Now, as a formerly married woman who once came home from work to find my husband had moved out in the middle of the day without telling me, I myself fully believe in prenuptial agreements in certain situations, but that has to be determined by the couple and by God. I don't believe they're for everyone but I do believe it's a very personal choice that must be handled by the couple, the appropriate Christian counsel, and of course, God, and I don't feel that we, as outsiders, have the right to judge their decision. But many people disagree with that view, and I can respect that.
However, how does one react when, let's say for example, a stranger writes you and says, "I can't believe people here are writing in support of prenuptial agreements!!! This is obviously unGodly, selfish and blasphemous!", then goes on to talk about other people who have supported such issue and implies that they too are unGodly, selfish blasphemers. As a Christian, what do you do? I know most everyone will say to simply ignore it, but as I said, the problem with private messaging is that sometimes you will continue to be bullied for an answer, and I usually never put someone on Ignore because I want to be aware of what's going on. I am also flabbergasted by the fact that strangers who see themselves as righteous will go to all the trouble of writing someone they don't know, thoroughly slam other people they don't know... and yet still somehow see themselves as not doing anything wrong. Surely it's everyone else who is wrong, not them.
So what if someone, whether here or in real life, will say something to you such as, "Robert has only been here 2 months but talks as if he owns the place. Who does he think he is? Personally, I think he's had some major failures in his life and he's acting that way because he's trying to compensate and cover up for his mistakes. I hate even listening to him--his voice is like a clanging symbol in my ears, and it makes me wonder what he's hiding."
The thing is, I've actually had these situations happen, whether in writing or in real life, and while I know most people will say, just let it go and walk away, my heart is always burning because as a Christian, I feel the need to say something in defense of the person but am never sure of how to reply. Just last week at work, some co-workers were talking about and making fun of a manager and I REALLY REALLY wanted to say something in his defense... but I wasn't of how to go about it... or what to even say.
Furthermore, what if you know things the other person doesn't know about the situation but yet don't want to become a gossip yourself? What if people are pointing out Robert's supposed character flaws but you know something they don't, such as, that Robert has cancer and his wife has just left him because of it?
As a Christian, what do you do? You surely won't tell someone else, let alone people you don't know, about Robert's personal business. But at the same time... God calls us to defend and speak well of people. Is walking away and just praying about the situation always the best way to handle it?
I am truly torn over this and would really like to hear what you think. Don't feel you have to stick with my examples-- if possible, I'd rather hear about your real-life experiences and how you've chosen to handle it.
