Hey everyone,
Thank you so much for bearing with me and this will be my last thread of this series.
Have you ever felt as if, as a Christian, you just can't win, no matter how hard you try?
Here's what I mean: as I've written, many of the letters I've received about my threads from men who are trying to "correct" me or "make me see the truth" will give a long list of how most people in the church choose to remain blind (except them, of course.) They talk about people's lack of humility and how others brag about all their good deeds, but that they, unlike the rest of the guilty, don't do this. And I do give them credit for bringing up some valid points. But in the end, they always end their letters to me with classic correctional phrases such as this (direct quote): "Just try and look at things through God's eyes before using human eyes."
Sigh. I understand what they're trying to say. I really do. But why do I always feel the frustration of "Christians condemning other Christians" (who don't even know each other) after I've read what they have to say? In other words, I feel that they, not God, but these men only, have personally judged and condemned what they see as me being "one of those unsaved Christians who chooses the world over God" and they don't even know me.
This is something I HATE about Christianity. YOU. JUST. CAN'T. WIN. If you don't talk much, people assume you're not much of a believer: "Do you even read your Bible or pray???!" "Are you bringing in the masses for Christ?" And if you DO talk about your experiences, people say, "OH, YOU certainly won't receive any glory from God because the Bible says you should keep your good deeds between just you and your Father!!" Just the other day, I shared some things I thought might help encourage others in a particular situation and a poster slammed me for supposedly thinking that I am so ahead and above others that I was putting myself in a position in which I could speak down to others by giving them advice.
SIGH. I wasn't trying to look down on anyone, I was trying to say, "It's ok to get help."
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY OR DO, I JUST CAN'T WIN.
Several years ago, we had some regular posters who were constantly "correcting" other users in almost every thread. Out of curiosity, I wrote a thread asking how many people invited others to church. Interestingly, one of these very outspoken "correctors" said, "Oh, I don't ask people to church. I feel it would be too forward and intrusive into their lives." Wow. Now, I'm NOT saying that everyone has to ask someone to church.
What I AM trying to say is reflected in my new signature--so many Christians seem to think that if other people don't have the SAME gifting or perspective or level of problems or knack for quoting Scripture as they do, they obviously must be hell-bound heathens. I get so frustrated when others don't heed the oft-repeated principle: that we all strive for a PERSONAL relationship with God. As in, His work will look a little different in EVERYONE'S lives.
You've all been so gracious to bear with me this long. Please allow me to tell you why I feel so frustrated today.
One of the things God has enabled me to do is invite people to church. It's not a very speedy process--sometimes I'll know a person 2 years before I'm comfortable asking--but do you know why I wait so long? Because by then, I have a history with the person. I know their kids' names, their interests and hobbies, their personal background that may or may not include church... I build a foundation with the person and THEN I ask, because I am concerned about people feeling as if they are nothing but someone's spiritual notch on a heavenly report card.
And no, I am NOT trying to boast or somehow imply I'm ahead of anyone else. I suppose some Christians would say that surely I couldn't lead anyone to Christ--I'm too much of a snob or too set in my worldly ways! Sigh. Again, we all have DIFFERENT callings, and this--not correcting people, not quoting 8 Scriptures off the top of my head, not pointing out everything wrong with the church--just happens to be one of mine. Several years ago a Christian friend and I recruited enough co-workers to go with us to fill an entire pew (and one of them wound up joining the church.) These were people we knew who normally partied every weekend. But we had built a long-standing friendship with them, and God opened their hearts to our invitation. Yet many Christians don't see this because I don't tell them, and they then assume I have fatal flaws in my walk with Christ.
Now, don't get me wrong--not everyone says yes when I ask them to church. I've heard plenty of NO's as well, and that's fine--part of the learning process. My main concern is creating a comfortable, inviting atmosphere. They're already feeling God call them--I see my job as taking them through the next steps so that they don't have do it alone. I pick them up or meet them, am there with them for the entire service, give them a few dollars for the offering plate so they won't feel awkward, answer any questions (for example, they may wonder about communion if they've never seen it before), and usually take them to lunch or coffee if they want to talk about what happened. It's something I really enjoy.
HOWEVER. Here is my dilemma. As I said, I am NOT trying to boast. Rather, I am ASKING FOR YOUR HELP, because just this week, God opened a huge door. Not one, but two people I've met in this area told me ON THE SAME DAY that they felt God calling them... but were unsure of what to do next. Neither has a church history. OF COURSE, I invited both to church. The funny thing is, I'm new to the area and looking for a church myself (but have one in mind as I've been there about 3 times myself.) This actually gave me the perfect opportunity, because I told them, "You know what, I'm looking for a church myself... if you have one in mind, I'd be happy to go with you, if not, you're welcome to come to the one I've been checking out with me." One accepted without hesitation.
However, you can imagine my utter heartbreak, when the second one said, "NO, NO, NO, I could never go to a church. I know how people are in church. They're going to look at me and tell me that because I don't know the Bible as well as they do or because I don't have their kind of faith or because I'm not doing God's work as well as they are... that I'm going to go to hell. I could never go to a church because the people there would never see me (my faith and place where I am right now in Christ) as being good enough." I could have sworn this person must have been hanging out in the Bible Forum!!!
Part of me wanted to yell, "AMEN!!!!" in agreement. It was as if this person was living out my own recent experiences with other Christians. And you know me, I believe in being real with people. I couldn't lie. And so, in reply, I said, "Yes, you are absolutely right in some ways and I know exactly what you're saying, but not everyone is like that. Why not come and at least give it a try?" After about a 15-minute conversation, this person said that if I was willing to go with them, they would give it a shot. You bet I'll be there!!! We exchanged numbers and plan to go the first Sunday our schedules allow.
But all the way home, I hung my head, and I told God I felt like a hypocrite, because I feel exactly the same way as they do. While negative experiences make me appreciate my good Christian friends all the more, part of me is utterly disgusted and doesn't want to be around Christians at all for a while, let alone try to help someone else at a crucial state in their calling to move forward, because this person is very curious about my own church history, and I will not lie or pretty things up.
I feel very protective of the people I invite to church. Part of me wants to wield some sort of weapon to protect them from the group of blood-thirsty, "You'd Better Be Good Enough" Christians inside the building. In college I invited a group of my friends (some who were agnostic and even atheist) and when we walked outside, the first thing that happened was a church member yelled at one of my friends for lighting up a cigarette. SIGH. I understand smoking wasn't allowed on church property but... What a first impression for someone trying to come to learn about the Lord. Another girl I knew invited her friends... and some church members drew back from shaking her hand when they saw she had a tattoo. Things like this anger me to no end. I went and introduced myself to this girl, giving her a big hug, and telling her to please come back any time.
I just pray I'll be able to say the right things to this young person who is so hungry for God. But I won't cover anything up, either, and I will tell them what they can expect to face as a Christian. Especially. From. Other. Christians.
What do you all of you do when your faith is being slammed or you are being called too worldly... by "brothers and sisters in Christ?" How would you help someone who wants to know God but is afraid of the church and the sword-wielding Christians who dwell there?
What would you do to help someone in this situation?
Thank you so much for bearing with me and this will be my last thread of this series.
Have you ever felt as if, as a Christian, you just can't win, no matter how hard you try?
Here's what I mean: as I've written, many of the letters I've received about my threads from men who are trying to "correct" me or "make me see the truth" will give a long list of how most people in the church choose to remain blind (except them, of course.) They talk about people's lack of humility and how others brag about all their good deeds, but that they, unlike the rest of the guilty, don't do this. And I do give them credit for bringing up some valid points. But in the end, they always end their letters to me with classic correctional phrases such as this (direct quote): "Just try and look at things through God's eyes before using human eyes."
Sigh. I understand what they're trying to say. I really do. But why do I always feel the frustration of "Christians condemning other Christians" (who don't even know each other) after I've read what they have to say? In other words, I feel that they, not God, but these men only, have personally judged and condemned what they see as me being "one of those unsaved Christians who chooses the world over God" and they don't even know me.
This is something I HATE about Christianity. YOU. JUST. CAN'T. WIN. If you don't talk much, people assume you're not much of a believer: "Do you even read your Bible or pray???!" "Are you bringing in the masses for Christ?" And if you DO talk about your experiences, people say, "OH, YOU certainly won't receive any glory from God because the Bible says you should keep your good deeds between just you and your Father!!" Just the other day, I shared some things I thought might help encourage others in a particular situation and a poster slammed me for supposedly thinking that I am so ahead and above others that I was putting myself in a position in which I could speak down to others by giving them advice.
SIGH. I wasn't trying to look down on anyone, I was trying to say, "It's ok to get help."
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY OR DO, I JUST CAN'T WIN.
Several years ago, we had some regular posters who were constantly "correcting" other users in almost every thread. Out of curiosity, I wrote a thread asking how many people invited others to church. Interestingly, one of these very outspoken "correctors" said, "Oh, I don't ask people to church. I feel it would be too forward and intrusive into their lives." Wow. Now, I'm NOT saying that everyone has to ask someone to church.
What I AM trying to say is reflected in my new signature--so many Christians seem to think that if other people don't have the SAME gifting or perspective or level of problems or knack for quoting Scripture as they do, they obviously must be hell-bound heathens. I get so frustrated when others don't heed the oft-repeated principle: that we all strive for a PERSONAL relationship with God. As in, His work will look a little different in EVERYONE'S lives.
You've all been so gracious to bear with me this long. Please allow me to tell you why I feel so frustrated today.
One of the things God has enabled me to do is invite people to church. It's not a very speedy process--sometimes I'll know a person 2 years before I'm comfortable asking--but do you know why I wait so long? Because by then, I have a history with the person. I know their kids' names, their interests and hobbies, their personal background that may or may not include church... I build a foundation with the person and THEN I ask, because I am concerned about people feeling as if they are nothing but someone's spiritual notch on a heavenly report card.
And no, I am NOT trying to boast or somehow imply I'm ahead of anyone else. I suppose some Christians would say that surely I couldn't lead anyone to Christ--I'm too much of a snob or too set in my worldly ways! Sigh. Again, we all have DIFFERENT callings, and this--not correcting people, not quoting 8 Scriptures off the top of my head, not pointing out everything wrong with the church--just happens to be one of mine. Several years ago a Christian friend and I recruited enough co-workers to go with us to fill an entire pew (and one of them wound up joining the church.) These were people we knew who normally partied every weekend. But we had built a long-standing friendship with them, and God opened their hearts to our invitation. Yet many Christians don't see this because I don't tell them, and they then assume I have fatal flaws in my walk with Christ.
Now, don't get me wrong--not everyone says yes when I ask them to church. I've heard plenty of NO's as well, and that's fine--part of the learning process. My main concern is creating a comfortable, inviting atmosphere. They're already feeling God call them--I see my job as taking them through the next steps so that they don't have do it alone. I pick them up or meet them, am there with them for the entire service, give them a few dollars for the offering plate so they won't feel awkward, answer any questions (for example, they may wonder about communion if they've never seen it before), and usually take them to lunch or coffee if they want to talk about what happened. It's something I really enjoy.
HOWEVER. Here is my dilemma. As I said, I am NOT trying to boast. Rather, I am ASKING FOR YOUR HELP, because just this week, God opened a huge door. Not one, but two people I've met in this area told me ON THE SAME DAY that they felt God calling them... but were unsure of what to do next. Neither has a church history. OF COURSE, I invited both to church. The funny thing is, I'm new to the area and looking for a church myself (but have one in mind as I've been there about 3 times myself.) This actually gave me the perfect opportunity, because I told them, "You know what, I'm looking for a church myself... if you have one in mind, I'd be happy to go with you, if not, you're welcome to come to the one I've been checking out with me." One accepted without hesitation.
However, you can imagine my utter heartbreak, when the second one said, "NO, NO, NO, I could never go to a church. I know how people are in church. They're going to look at me and tell me that because I don't know the Bible as well as they do or because I don't have their kind of faith or because I'm not doing God's work as well as they are... that I'm going to go to hell. I could never go to a church because the people there would never see me (my faith and place where I am right now in Christ) as being good enough." I could have sworn this person must have been hanging out in the Bible Forum!!!
Part of me wanted to yell, "AMEN!!!!" in agreement. It was as if this person was living out my own recent experiences with other Christians. And you know me, I believe in being real with people. I couldn't lie. And so, in reply, I said, "Yes, you are absolutely right in some ways and I know exactly what you're saying, but not everyone is like that. Why not come and at least give it a try?" After about a 15-minute conversation, this person said that if I was willing to go with them, they would give it a shot. You bet I'll be there!!! We exchanged numbers and plan to go the first Sunday our schedules allow.
But all the way home, I hung my head, and I told God I felt like a hypocrite, because I feel exactly the same way as they do. While negative experiences make me appreciate my good Christian friends all the more, part of me is utterly disgusted and doesn't want to be around Christians at all for a while, let alone try to help someone else at a crucial state in their calling to move forward, because this person is very curious about my own church history, and I will not lie or pretty things up.
I feel very protective of the people I invite to church. Part of me wants to wield some sort of weapon to protect them from the group of blood-thirsty, "You'd Better Be Good Enough" Christians inside the building. In college I invited a group of my friends (some who were agnostic and even atheist) and when we walked outside, the first thing that happened was a church member yelled at one of my friends for lighting up a cigarette. SIGH. I understand smoking wasn't allowed on church property but... What a first impression for someone trying to come to learn about the Lord. Another girl I knew invited her friends... and some church members drew back from shaking her hand when they saw she had a tattoo. Things like this anger me to no end. I went and introduced myself to this girl, giving her a big hug, and telling her to please come back any time.
I just pray I'll be able to say the right things to this young person who is so hungry for God. But I won't cover anything up, either, and I will tell them what they can expect to face as a Christian. Especially. From. Other. Christians.
What do you all of you do when your faith is being slammed or you are being called too worldly... by "brothers and sisters in Christ?" How would you help someone who wants to know God but is afraid of the church and the sword-wielding Christians who dwell there?
What would you do to help someone in this situation?