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I think what you are describing is quite common. Everyone can portray a certain image for a short amount of time and when you only see them in a limited capacity. After more time and just greater depth of knowledge, you will learn more of a person's true personality. I don't even think this is necessarily a bad thing, because most people always try to put their best foot forward when they first start relationships with people.
Over time you learn more, determine this person has qualities that do not fit what you want, and you both keep searching. It really is pretty normal.
Over time you learn more, determine this person has qualities that do not fit what you want, and you both keep searching. It really is pretty normal.
U
This is one reason for so many failed marriages. Time. People want to hurry into relationships, hurry into marriage. And then, once it's too late, and they're married, the other person begins to show their true self. If people would slow down and not treat finding a spouse like a race against time, and slow down, there would probably be less failed marriages.
Or even if people weren't so quick to enter a dating relationship, there would be less broken hearts.
But i have to vent a little against the term 'life partner'. It is such a secularized sounding concept, that, in reality, does not necessarily mean marriage. Only a committed relationship. My sister lived for over 10 years with her boyfriend before they finally got married. You could say they were 'life partners'.
That term just sounds so clinical and generic. Like something you grow in a test tube. I don't want a life partner. I want a wife. As in married. No confusion as to what that means.
Or even if people weren't so quick to enter a dating relationship, there would be less broken hearts.
But i have to vent a little against the term 'life partner'. It is such a secularized sounding concept, that, in reality, does not necessarily mean marriage. Only a committed relationship. My sister lived for over 10 years with her boyfriend before they finally got married. You could say they were 'life partners'.
That term just sounds so clinical and generic. Like something you grow in a test tube. I don't want a life partner. I want a wife. As in married. No confusion as to what that means.
I
I see your point when you speak about the term "life partner".. think I just put it there to not restrict the gender aspect but I am actually referring to marriage.
I strongly believe that if people took the time to get to know each other, there would be fewer failed marriages... so I agree with you on that... Society(the world) has built up the ideal of getting married and having kids because it's the norm... so people rush into things, not realising that these things take time... and then you get single people(some real good and genuine people) believing that there is something wrong with them because they are not married yet..... so then it leads to them seeking completion in a spouse....
People need to find completion in Christ before getting married...
I strongly believe that if people took the time to get to know each other, there would be fewer failed marriages... so I agree with you on that... Society(the world) has built up the ideal of getting married and having kids because it's the norm... so people rush into things, not realising that these things take time... and then you get single people(some real good and genuine people) believing that there is something wrong with them because they are not married yet..... so then it leads to them seeking completion in a spouse....
People need to find completion in Christ before getting married...
R
Ugly and I was just talking about this last night too...
He brought up the fact that some people are better at hiding their weaknesses while others aren't. (Yes ugly, I was actually listening
).
I think this tends to reveal itself in due time in relationships as well. I've heard too that marriages that were most successful were from those who dated 2-4 years before marrying. I'm sure that timeline also depends on how long they were friends for previously.
I would love to marry my best friend. Someone I can show all my weaknesses to and he would still hold my hand and gently lead me to a better place. In my ex relationship I was often confused because he was so nice and friendly to everyone, but when it came to us he was so insecure and emotionally unstable. It just comes down to, can I handle this person? Can I grow in this situation or is it tearing me down? And, does this person want to grow in their weaknesses too or do they like where they are at?
I definitely believe that in marriage, both persons always have to strive towards bettering themselves in order to have a lasting marriage.
He brought up the fact that some people are better at hiding their weaknesses while others aren't. (Yes ugly, I was actually listening
). I think this tends to reveal itself in due time in relationships as well. I've heard too that marriages that were most successful were from those who dated 2-4 years before marrying. I'm sure that timeline also depends on how long they were friends for previously.
I would love to marry my best friend. Someone I can show all my weaknesses to and he would still hold my hand and gently lead me to a better place. In my ex relationship I was often confused because he was so nice and friendly to everyone, but when it came to us he was so insecure and emotionally unstable. It just comes down to, can I handle this person? Can I grow in this situation or is it tearing me down? And, does this person want to grow in their weaknesses too or do they like where they are at?
I definitely believe that in marriage, both persons always have to strive towards bettering themselves in order to have a lasting marriage.
Patience is the weapon that forces deception to reveal itself. It is the insurance against being deceived or making wrong decisions. Patience is what maintains you as the master of your soul. If patience is a fruit of the Spirit, it stands to reason that impatience is the tool of the enemy. The consequences of impatience are more far-reaching than one can possibly foresee. - michelle hammond
U
Patience needs to be tempered with wisdom. It's easy to fall into the concept of 'being patient' when in reality you're being passive or just blinding yourself to truths. It's a difficult distinction, as i've come to learn the past few years. One i'm really not sure how to know the difference between.
I
You know the Beauty of getting closer to God, is that you notice that everything that is not meant to be in our lives, slowly fades away.... I dated this guy.....he was a believer and in the beginning everything to him was about God and I loved that. I began to draw closer to God and meditate on His word..... then I started to notice certain things that made me feel uneasy about this guy.... almost like we were not on the same spiritual level anymore.... everything fell apart n now looking back I can see that the signs were there but maybe I was just fighting against them....