Celibacy: The Questions!

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H

heweeps

Guest
#1
#1
Before the questions, I would like it to be clear that this is not about premarital abstinence. I'm talking about long-term celibacy.
You can answer one to all questions depending on your feelings.

Do you think celibacy is a choice, calling or both?

Do you consider celibacy as a valid lifestyle or are you more into traditional marriage and kids?

Should there be facilitation of celibacy in Protestant churches like convents and monasteries?

And just out of personal curiosity, Why would like to get married?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
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#2
Apostle Paul covered that one fairly thoroughly.

In I Corinthians chapter seven, starting at verse 7:
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

And on down in the same chapter:
25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Pay particular attention to verses 32 and 33.
 
E

EmethAlethia

Senior Member
#3
Sep 8, 2014
244
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#3
Lynx,

Very good. one has their gift in one manner (Celibacy) the other in another (The requirement for marriage because you have an issue with sexual control and have a risk for fornication.)

You found just the passage. Good job.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#4
heweeps said:
Before the questions, I would like it to be clear that this is not about premarital abstinence. I'm talking about long-term celibacy.
You can answer one to all questions depending on your feelings.

Do you think celibacy is a choice, calling or both?

Do you consider celibacy as a valid lifestyle or are you more into traditional marriage and kids?

Should there be facilitation of celibacy in Protestant churches like convents and monasteries?

And just out of personal curiosity, Why would like to get married?
Click to expand...

These are only my own personal answers on this subject :) :

1.) For me it is a choice..for others, it could be both or only one or the other.

2.) I do consider celibacy to be MY valid lifestyle, yes. I have no interest in marriage or kids.

3.) There should be "facilitation of celibacy" EVERYWHERE, not only in convents or monasteries!!

4.) Refer to second part of answer #2. :)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#5
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
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#5
heweeps said:
Before the questions, I would like it to be clear that this is not about premarital abstinence. I'm talking about long-term celibacy.
You can answer one to all questions depending on your feelings.
Click to expand...
Do you think celibacy is a choice, calling or both?
Both, even if God calls us to lifelong celibacy, we have to make the choice to follow and obey that calling.

Do you consider celibacy as a valid lifestyle or are you more into traditional marriage and kids?
Bible consideres celibacy a valid way of life so I'm not going to argue. The bigger problem in the church at large is that it is not considered of equal value with marriage so people begin to rate it as some extraordinary mark of either being spiritual or unspiritual.

Should there be facilitation of celibacy in Protestant churches like convents and monasteries?
Celibacy wasn't the point of monastic life. It was a means to free oneself from distractions in order to more wholeheartedly serve God. But yes I believe it would be good for there to be more support of those who are unmarried in Protestant circles instead of the subtle message of well sooner or later you will get married and then you'll somehow be more adult or more complete or more whatever. In the meantime we have the singles forum.

And just out of personal curiosity, Why would like to get married?
Companionship and having someone around to help cover my weak points. I'm sure making a marriage work is a huge exercise in discipleship as well. But I'm still more at the it could be nice if the whole marriage thing happened stage, not the Oh I have to get married ASAP and my life is over if I don't find anyone stage.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#6
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
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#6
Why would like to get married?

For many more reasons than just to have sex. I have been divorced since 1979 and a Huge Block of that time I was celibate.
For parts of that time I was a sinner having relations that I should not have had. That required asking forgiveness for.

But to have a companion and someone to share life with would be so wonderful to me since I have been single for so very long. To share God's love with another human and to be able to work together to help further the Kingdom of God. I don't believe we were created to be alone and for me I have been alone long enough and would be grateful to have a spouse. I know in my previous relationships with men I had made them an idol and put them before God, but now I am at a point that I have put God in the rightful number one spot and feel that I am ready to look for and accept the part of being a wife in a Godly relationship. I would welcome marriage.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#7
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
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#7
JesusLives said:
Why would like to get married?

For many more reasons than just to have sex. I have been divorced since 1979 and a Huge Block of that time I was celibate.
For parts of that time I was a sinner having relations that I should not have had. That required asking forgiveness for.
Click to expand...
You remind me of a quote: "Marrying for sex is like buying an airline so you can get the free packets of peanuts."
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
41,305
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Tennessee
#8
Lynx said:
You remind me of a quote: "Marrying for sex is like buying an airline so you can get the free packets of peanuts."
Click to expand...
Do not marry for sex - marry for love. That way you will be making love instead of just having sex. I wouldn't marry just for sex even if the airline was giving away free packets of cashews.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#9
#9
heweeps said:
Before the questions, I would like it to be clear that this is not about premarital abstinence. I'm talking about long-term celibacy.
You can answer one to all questions depending on your feelings.

Do you think celibacy is a choice, calling or both?

Do you consider celibacy as a valid lifestyle or are you more into traditional marriage and kids?

Should there be facilitation of celibacy in Protestant churches like convents and monasteries?

And just out of personal curiosity, Why would like to get married?
Click to expand...
1. Granted I don't know much about long-term celibacy, but I believe it's both a calling from God and a choice you have to make.

2. Celibacy would be valid for some but not for most. I would love to get married and have one day, have children (in that order).

3. I'm not sure. But there should be support for those who feel they're called to be celibate.

4. I would love to get married to enjoy the woman I love in every capacity possible and to serve her, to join her in the adventure of life, to praise and worship God with her and to eventually raise a God-honouring family together.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
How is this not a premarital topic?
What other time is there to choose long term celibacy? Not in marriage. The bible says to 'come together regularly' in marriage.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#11
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#11
Ugly said:
How is this not a premarital topic?
What other time is there to choose long term celibacy? Not in marriage. The bible says to 'come together regularly' in marriage.
Click to expand...
I'm assuming it's meant for people who don't expect to ever marry.
 
H

heweeps

Guest
#13
#13
Premarital implies that you plan to get married sooner or later. This is a question of forever.


Thanks for all the answers. I asked this because I feel that Christian fellowships tend to subtly nudge people towards a marriage when perhaps they would like to not be in one.

Yes, we are aware of the marriage and singles text by Paul as answered. The question is it an embraced choice today?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
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#14
Depends where you go, who you talk to. There is no one, flat answer to that question because there is no one, overarching societal structure. Some places it is, some places it isn't. Some places they believe priests should be celibate, some churches don't believe in having a priest, some believe in having a priest but don't think he should be celibate. I won't even start on all the churches that have busybody matchmakers who believe their holy mission is to find you a mate...
 
M

MidniteWelder

Guest
#15
#15
Lynx said:
You remind me of a quote: "Marrying for sex is like buying an airline so you can get the free packets of peanuts."
Click to expand...

And here I always thought that old saying
"will work for peanuts" was a humble one :confused:
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#16
#16
EmethAlethia said:
Lynx,

Very good. one has their gift in one manner (Celibacy) the other in another (The requirement for marriage because you have an issue with sexual control and have a risk for fornication.)

You found just the passage. Good job.
Click to expand...
Oh, boy. You believe the gift of marriage is only for those who have issues with sexual control and risk fornication? I think God had mightier plans than that when He designed it, even for marriage post-Fall.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#17
Mar 13, 2014
41,305
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Tennessee
#17
Ugly said:
How is this not a premarital topic?
What other time is there to choose long term celibacy? Not in marriage. The bible says to 'come together regularly' in marriage.
Click to expand...
I am glad that I started to read the bible again.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#18
May 23, 2009
14,943
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#18
Seeing as several people have already contributed vast amounts of wisdom...

I just had to say it: the title, "Celibacy: The Questions!" reminds of, "Spaceballs: The Movie!" "Spaceballs: The Lunchbox!" "Spaceballs: The Toilet Paper!"

Holla back if you're a child of the 80's...

And... to make this post legit... Yes, I practice celibacy because I'm single and not married, not particularly because I choose it as an overwhelmingly appealing personal decision. But, God says if you're not married, this is how you are to live. Do I hope to marry someday? Maybe--depends on if I can find a person to put up with me. ;)

Do others in the world think I'm nuts to live like this? Yup, and even some other Christians who make different choices (to each their own--I don't judge, but will share my thoughts and answers about my lifestyle choices if asked.) I also try not to make it sound like a "holier-than-thou" decision either because like anyone else, I could mess up.

I prefer to point out to people all the things I DON'T have to worry about when making the choice of celibacy. For instance, I don't have to worry about:

1. Feeling cheap or used, or wondering if he's going to call the next day.
2. Unplanned pregnancy.
3. STD's.
4. Being called various names by others or getting a "reputation".
5. Living under the heavy, horrible guilt of knowing I am disobeying God in this area of life.

It's not an easy way to live, but in some ways, it also gives you freedom of another kind.
 
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heweeps

Guest
#19
#19
Honestly, I LOVE colons and semicolons. That's my way past midnight confession.

And great points!
 
A

Abster

Guest
#20
#20
I enjoyed the comment stating that marrying for sex is like flying for free peanuts. I am celibate because it is expected. I love God and I don't want to defy his word. However do I want to be for a lifetime? Nope. But do I wish to be wed? The jury is still out on that one. I haven't met a man I want to spend my life with. So celibacy is looking more and more like my reality today and in the future. I still struggle and pray on this. However casual sex doesnt appeal to me. I want a man of God, love and a connection. But if I don't get that...celibacy it shall be amd celibacy it shall stay!
 
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