Can you really have it all?

[Rachel20]

Have you achieved a perfect work-life balance?

While this poll is more geared towards women, opinions of men would be interesting too.


If you look at the Fortune 500 companies, there are very few women CEOs. Marissa Myers, Yahoo's CEO is the most high profile woman of the lot and she announced her pregnancy , shortly after joining.

She got back to work within 2 weeks, and had a nursery suite right next to her office.

However, it's not that easy for many women. While feminist ideals push for a "you can have it all" (family life and career), it's highly unlikely that is the case.

In fact, Anne Marie-Slaughter, in her article against this, wrote it as more of a function of personal ambition than reality.

Unless you have a very supportive family and even more supporting husband, it's very hard.

Women end up at a crossroad wondering how they'd be able to juggle between families and careers.
Women with children end up "leaning" back - opting for more flexible hours, taking lesser responsibilities and so forth.

It's completely justifiable and I can see how a woman makes such a decision.

Most women take two years off work to raise their toddlers and then get back to work, but a high powered job would mean seeing your kids for fewer times, missing important events or just not being there for them when they do their homework at crucial junctions of teenagehood.

Personally I don't believe a woman "can have it all" unless she's her own boss and her own scheduler.


I believe the same would apply for a man.

Sacrifices would have to be made. Family or career - that decision would sometime come. For example, a job offer at a location with higher pay and more upward mobility but far away from the kid's school. Just saying.


What do you guys think?


ABOUT THE POLL -


It is gender based.

 

[Lynx]

Your poll choices are not clear. A guy might choose "yes I am a man and I think it is possible" thinking of himself having a family and a career. The poll selections should indicate "can a woman have it all, family and career" and etc.

 

[Rachel20]

Your poll choices are not clear. A guy might choose "yes you can have it all" thinking of himself having a family and a career. The poll selections should indicate "can a woman have it all, family and career" and etc.

the option is yes I think it is possible.


Meaning possible for himself and for anyone in general.


I didn't want to make it a only a question focused on women, because I believe it is inclusive regardless of gender.

But yes, people should review all poll choices carefully. That would be helpful. Sorry for the fogginess

 

[Misty77]

We all have to decide what our priorities are. Society is just more accustomed to men sacrificing their families on the altar of their careers, and we leave that burden solely on women. The Bible says for parents, both mothers and fathers, to teach their children and raise them to love and serve God. However you as a family or as an individual are able to do that is going to vary.

The way we spend our time is indicative of where our priorities lie. God called us all to go forth and make disciples. Every other aspect of our lives--career, children, etc.--needs to line up behind that.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Good subject for discussion Rachel! I did cringe though, when I saw these two options...

• I am a man who thinks women should stay at home. Men should achieve it all
• I am a woman who thinks women should stay at home. Men should achieve it all

The wording here makes it sound like women who stay home are not achieving anything, while the men achieve everything through their career.

This option WOULD have probably been my choice, because I do believe there's no one better to raise a child than that child's parents, which would typically fall to the mother as the main caregiver. However, I don't believe that every situation is the same, and I definitely don't feel that when women stay home, the only achievements happening are by men. There is literally nothing more rewarding for a mother than to watch her children grow, learn, and be happy.

Women live an average of 73 years. Children grow lightning fast... they are grown and gone in 18 years. That is a relatively small percentage of a woman's life to devote to childrearing. I think it's a wise and rewarding investment.

 

[Shouryu]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat if "having it all," to you personally, means...NOT having a family to raise. Mmmmmmmaybe you just want a like minded spouse who's content to remain childless for various reasons. Career, ministry, overall meh-ness...

Just throwing that out there. Because, not everyone is looking to breed, ya know...

 

[Lynx]

But... but... if you had no children, you would not be having it all!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Doesn't Martha Stewart have it all?? I think so. She's not making sammiches for some man either like Oprah is.. oh wait, Oprah probably pays someone to make Steadman sammiches. Hmm... maybe if you could just pay someone to take care of your spouse's needs...

 

[Shouryu]

But... but... if you had no children, you would not be having it all!

Don't be so sure.

 

[Rachel20]

Haha.

Sorry Grace.

I am really politically incorrect . I don't know how to edit this poll though.


Raising your children and watching your family grow IS an achievement. I meant achieve it all as in the statement (career as in a job outside and family as in with kids).


Sorry about that.

 

[Rachel20]

Ok people, my poll is politically incorrect and off key. If it offends you, sorry about it


I blame zeroturbulence for it. He jinxed this forum. I saw his messed up poll, and laughed.

 

[JesusLives]

I was a single mother and I had it all family and career, sometimes I wondered if I wanted to have it all. It's a lot of responsibility for one person to handle. It seem though in my case even being a Blond I knew how to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I worked took care of my daughter, put her in a great daycare that took them places every week during the summer and not just herded around in a yard and in a building. Worked at my job for 25 years and my daughter is a happy well adjusted adult. I have a lot to thank God for.

 

[Lynx]

Don't be so sure.

View attachment 88602

They copied that from xkcd.

 

[Charcoal]

mind you, I fought for the chance to take a vow of poverty and raise my own kids.

 

[jennymae]

To me, having a family and an ok job is having it all. I am grateful to the good Lord for that.

 

[Rachel20]

Women live an average of 73 years. Children grow lightning fast... they are grown and gone in 18 years. That is a relatively small percentage of a woman's life to devote to childrearing. I think it's a wise and rewarding investment.

Grace, I want to disagree here a bit.


I don't think parenthood ends when a child turns 18 or an adult. I think parenthood is for life. You can't ever stop being a mom ( Realizing that with my own mother haha)


Also unless a woman has her own business or a creative venture of her own, it's hard for her to just get back into a corporate setting after 18 years...

However I feel when it comes to choices, I believe family should always come first.
A mother and her presence can be crucial for a child.

You are very right. I think raising your children up to be God-fearing, prayerful people who support and love you back, has to be one of the most rewarding things in the world.

It probably is one of the greatest treasures


However, that just makes me feel that we can't really have it all - the glamorous high flying, travel jet setting job and the comfortable and happy children. It's too exhausting. It's too tough. Somewhere down the road , choices have to be made.

 

[Rachel20]

Thank you for the responses everyone


Our "all" can be different, I see that now! (Except Martha Stewart's. Hehe )

Anyway we don't need to gain it "all" but rest in His all


(I use too many smileys. Ugh)

 

[mailmandan]

The secret to having it all, is knowing you already do...

 

[Lynx]

Grace, I want to disagree here a bit.


I don't think parenthood ends when a child turns 18 or an adult. I think parenthood is for life. You can't ever stop being a mom ( Realizing that with my own mother haha)


Also unless a woman has her own business or a creative venture of her own, it's hard for her to just get back into a corporate setting after 18 years...

However I feel when it comes to choices, I believe family should always come first.
A mother and her presence can be crucial for a child.

You are very right. I think raising your children up to be God-fearing, prayerful people who support and love you back, has to be one of the most rewarding things in the world.

It probably is one of the greatest treasures


However, that just makes me feel that we can't really have it all - the glamorous high flying, travel jet setting job and the comfortable and happy children. It's too exhausting. It's too tough. Somewhere down the road , choices have to be made.

Well you can have both, but you have to pay for it... you'd have to find a nanny who would raise your kids the way you would raise them. That ain't cheap. Or easy to find.

 

[Abster]

I am single mother of two daughters and I have a wonderful career. I work while they are in school and when I come home we do all sorts of things from walks around the track, movie nights, girl scouts, family dinner (with my sister or mother), pool runs during the summer, etc. They also spend every other weekend with their father. Being content is a goal worth achieving. I have it all, because I am happy with what I have. I am thankful for what God has given me and whenever I have a need, He meets it. I have been married, I have loved and been loved back, I have birthed children, I have furthered my career, I have traveled... I have done more than many and as much as most. I don't use others success as a measuring stick for my own either, but seldom is there a time that I find myself unable to converse with someone because we have nothing in common unless they are closing down the club, sleeping around, or on drugs. I've been high, I've been low and my experiences have made me well rounded. So, yes... you can have it all. I certainly do. I have everything I need and thats all one could ask for. I'm blessed all day long!