How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

[Fenner]

My Children will start getting homework next week. I expect the title question and many other in rhyme questions as we start out the year with our lovely common core.

For example. Susan worked hard in the field all day and picked 2 dozen flowers. Tim didn't work as hard and picked only 5 flowers. Now if Susan were a real friend she'd give Tim some of her flowers. However Susan is a capitalist pig and won't share her flowers with Tim. So who has more flowers?

OK the questions aren't worded like that, they leave out Capitalist Pig, but they might as well throw it in. I don't like common core, you might have picked that up by now.

 

[Lynx]

The parable of the ant and the grasshopper perhaps?

 

[Fenner]

The parable of the ant and the grasshopper perhaps?

That I wouldn't mind.

 

[Charcoal]

The state I live in adopted Common Core, then repealed it before implementation. Now we are denied over $4 million in No Child Left Behind grants that we had depended on to keep important programs open. In the end, our schoolchildren will be further behind where they needed to be because of not adopting Common Core, than we would have been if we had adopted it. Is common core a good thing? well...grumble... Would my state have been better off with it? yeah, we're behind the curve already, and now we will be worse off because of the lack of funding.

Now if we can just get Ugly in here to make a really legit joke about straight edge common core or common hard core.

 

[Roh_Chris]

My Children will start getting homework next week. I expect the title question and many other in rhyme questions as we start out the year with our lovely common core.

For example. Susan worked hard in the field all day and picked 2 dozen flowers. Tim didn't work as hard and picked only 5 flowers. Now if Susan were a real friend she'd give Tim some of her flowers. However Susan is a capitalist pig and won't share her flowers with Tim. So who has more flowers?

OK the questions aren't worded like that, they leave out Capitalist Pig, but they might as well throw it in. I don't like common core, you might have picked that up by now.

Why is Susan a capitalist pig? Is it wrong that I don't share the fruits of my hard work with somebody who wouldn't work?

 

[Fenner]

Why is Susan a capitalist pig? Is it wrong that I don't share the fruits of my hard work with somebody who wouldn't work?

No, but in America we have many who would like a hand out and not a hand up, if that makes sense. So it wouldn't surprise me if the public school system said something along those lines. Not that it's wrong to give to the poor, if that's what is actually going on.

 

[Fenner]

The state I live in adopted Common Core, then repealed it before implementation. Now we are denied over $4 million in No Child Left Behind grants that we had depended on to keep important programs open. In the end, our schoolchildren will be further behind where they needed to be because of not adopting Common Core, than we would have been if we had adopted it. Is common core a good thing? well...grumble... Would my state have been better off with it? yeah, we're behind the curve already, and now we will be worse off because of the lack of funding.

Now if we can just get Ugly in here to make a really legit joke about straight edge common core or common hard core.

It makes me sick that the Government has contingency on the freedom of choice. They never put the best needs of the children first. I love America, but man I hope and pray there are some big changes next election cycle.

 

[Roh_Chris]

No, but in America we have many who would like a hand out and not a hand up, if that makes sense. So it wouldn't surprise me if the public school system said something along those lines. Not that it's wrong to give to the poor, if that's what is actually going on.

Ah, you were talking about the ones who 'needy'. Not the poor, but the ones who want to be 'supported' simply because they are lazy to work. Reminds me of the story of the ant and the grasshopper (tweaked a bit to suit everybody).

-----------------

Ant & Grasshopper (Original)
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

BBC, CNN, FOX show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Humans Rights stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house. Rights activists goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and the U.N. criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

The Opposition party members stage a walkout. Communists call for a protest march demanding a Judicial Enquiry. The Marxists immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

The Transport Minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Express‘. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ‘ Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act’ [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. The Education Minister makes ‘Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC, CNN and FOX.

Human Rights calls it ‘ A Triumph of Justice’. The Transport Minister calls it ‘Socialistic Justice'. The Marxists calls it the ‘ Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'. The U.N. invites the Grasshopper to address the U.N. General Assembly.

Many years later…
The Ant has since migrated elsewhere and set up a multi-billion dollar company. 1000's of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation. As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, the country is still in debt!

 

[Fenner]

Ah, you were talking about the ones who 'needy'. Not the poor, but the ones who want to be 'supported' simply because they are lazy to work. Reminds me of the story of the ant and the grasshopper (tweaked a bit to suit everybody).

-----------------

Ant & Grasshopper (Original)
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

BBC, CNN, FOX show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Humans Rights stages a demonstration in front of the Ant’s house. Rights activists goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and the U.N. criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

The Opposition party members stage a walkout. Communists call for a protest march demanding a Judicial Enquiry. The Marxists immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

The Transport Minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Express‘. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ‘ Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act’ [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. The Education Minister makes ‘Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC, CNN and FOX.

Human Rights calls it ‘ A Triumph of Justice’. The Transport Minister calls it ‘Socialistic Justice'. The Marxists calls it the ‘ Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'. The U.N. invites the Grasshopper to address the U.N. General Assembly.

Many years later…
The Ant has since migrated elsewhere and set up a multi-billion dollar company. 1000's of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation. As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, the country is still in debt!

Now that's the best way I've seen to explain the backwards way things work sometimes.

 

[Lynx]

I've seen that modern version before and I wondered if someone would mention it. There are a few holes in that though...

But let's not turn this thread into an economics gripe, please. The topic is Common Core in particular and education in general.

Go!

 

[Oncefallen]

The state I live in adopted Common Core, then repealed it before implementation. Now we are denied over $4 million in No Child Left Behind grants that we had depended on to keep important programs open. In the end, our schoolchildren will be further behind where they needed to be because of not adopting Common Core, than we would have been if we had adopted it. Is common core a good thing? well...grumble... Would my state have been better off with it? yeah, we're behind the curve already, and now we will be worse off because of the lack of funding.

The worst thing about No Child Left Behind under Bush and now Common Core under Obama is that it ties federal funding to compliance. Some states have found that the money they lose by not complying is less than what they would have to spend to comply thus they actually come out ahead.

The thing I find interesting is that the US (on average) spends more per student for primary education than most other western countries yet comes up with a lower quality of education. If you look back not too far back in US history we ranked consistently in the top ten countries for quality of education but now we rank down in the 30's or 40's yet we're spending considerably more money even after adjusting for inflation.

The problem IMO falls in a couple of places.

First, our decline started not long after the Feds got involved in education and slowly but surely began removing control of education from local educators and placing it in the hands of Washington bureaucrats.

Second, teacher's unions forced the idea of tenure down school's throats. Once a teacher achieves tenure they can pretty much sit on their proverbial tail churning out a minimal education and be practically unfireable regardless of whether their students actually learn anything or not.

Third, (and probably the biggest problem) is that parents are considerably less involved in their children's education. More and more have developed the attitude that education should happen at school and that they shouldn't have to raise a hand to insure that their child is actually learning.

I've noticed that in those states that allow charter schools children from charter schools consistently score higher on standardized tests. Interestingly enough charter schools achieve this with the identical per student funding as regular public schools proving that money isn't the problem. The big difference is that charter schools typically don't offer tenure to teachers so they HAVE to perform in order to keep their job, and charter schools REQUIRE parent participation both at home and in school activities.

 

[JimJimmers]

Susan worked hard in the field all day and picked 2 dozen flowers. Tim didn't work as hard and picked only 5 flowers. Now if Susan were a real friend she'd give Tim some of her flowers. However Susan is a capitalist pig and won't share her flowers with Tim. So who has more flowers?

Who has the most flowers? The evil landowner who makes people pick flowers. Everything should be free.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Don't worry Tim.. Susan will owe a hefty flower-picker's fee because she picked more than 10 flowers and that fee goes to a fund called 'The Welflower System' where they give out free flowers to everyone who has less than 7... so as long as you keep your flower count under 7 you can count on hard-working people like Susan to provide the rest of the flowers you need.

 

[Charcoal]

Third, (and probably the biggest problem) is that parents are considerably less involved in their children's education. More and more have developed the attitude that education should happen at school and that they shouldn't have to raise a hand to insure that their child is actually learning.

Definitely the biggest part. I have one kid that is having problems at school and one who excels in their studies and their behavior there. I am in touch with the good kid's teacher more than many parents are in touch with a problematic child's teacher. Whenever I talk to anyone from school, for any reason, I always ask, "How can I better partner with you on this?" It catches them off guard. Most parents tend to think the school is there to serve the parent and warehouse the child for the day. I go and sit in classrooms. I volunteer to help with things like (unfunded) art lessons, or setting up the book fair. I see part of my role as a parent to be assisting the school in educating my children. If along the way another child benefits, great. Not every kid is blessed with a father figure, so maybe I have made a small difference for them.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

For example. Susan worked hard in the field all day and picked 2 dozen flowers. Tim didn't work as hard and picked only 5 flowers. Now if Susan were a real friend she'd give Tim some of her flowers. However Susan is a capitalist pig and won't share her flowers with Tim. So who has more flowers?.

If in Norway: The government that first wants some ofthe flowers you pick (salary), and then some of the flowers you bring home in a vase (property).

 

[kenthomas27]

How mucth wood could a wood ........(sigh)...

Begging your pardon thir but do you realize how this sthounds when I thay it?



I'm totally Hugh Miliated.

 

[JesusLives]

How mucth wood could a wood ........(sigh)...

Begging your pardon thir but do you realize how this sthounds when I thay it?

View attachment 88679

I'm totally Hugh Miliated.

Oh Daffy you make me laffy.....

 

[Roh_Chris]

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

The answer is - as much wood as would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

 

[posthuman]

(from Dino’s Daily Dose – Day 11 – How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? | Dino Giacomazzi)


Question: Here's one for you, been around for quite a while but could never seem to find the answer.
Now, Assuming a woodchuck could in fact , chuck wood, how much wood would he chuck in say,,,,,,, 15 minutes? Thats a number easily devisable into 60 making for an easy chuck- per- hour rate and a short enough time to observe the woodchuck at full chucking capacity without reaching its anaerobic threshold which would inevitably lead to it bonking resulting in a drastic decrease in chuckability . Might throw our numbers off. Im looking for MAX CHUCKABILITY PER HOUR here.
Answer should be in Board Feet as this is the standard unit of measure in the lumber industry. Mahalo, and thank you wise sir.


​

This question is a simple matter of math and figuring out a few conversions. Should be easy.

A Woodchuck, also known as a land beaver, weighs 4-9 lbs.
We can use the average weight of 7 lbs for the woodchuck.
According to Calorie Burn Calculator, Most Accurate a 7 lb woodchuck would burn 4.8 calories in 15 minutes if it were engaged in chopping wood. Since healthstatus.com does not provide an option for chucking wood we can make an assumption that chopping and chucking wood would burn a similar amount of calories. Feel free to substitue any of the activities on the site and insert that caloric factor into the equation to fine tune the results to your liking.
4.8 calories is the same as .0191 BTU in 15 minutes or .075 BTU per hour. (British Thermal Units)
Now the other variable is the type of wood you are talking about. Different types of wood and different treatments have different mass. For example, properly seasoned oak firewood should have a moisture content below 20%. Freshly cut oak wood could be as high as 90%. So obviously the moisture content will play a large role in the amount of wood chuckable by the woodchuck. For this example we will use 20% moisture seasoned oak fire wood. Since woodchucks are native to the eastern part of north america we will use White Oak

A chord (128 cubic feet) of seasoned White Oak weights between 2880 – 3710 lbsWe can take the average weight and use 3295 lbs per chord or 3295 lbs/128 cubic feet.
One board foot = a board that is 12 in × 12 in × 1 in
One chord = 1536 board feet according to Unit Converter Pro
So now we can divide 1536 board feet into 3295 lbs and know that one board foot of Seasoned White Oak is 2.14 lbs/board foot. 3295/1536=2.14.
Now here is where the math gets fun.
We know a 7 lb woodchuck will burn .075 BTU’s chucking wood for an hour. We also know the wood he is chucking weighs 2.14 lbs per board foot. Now the question is how many BTU’s does it take to chuck 2.14 lbs, let’s say 1 foot?
According to Newton’s Second Law of Motion, the net force on an object is dependent on the mass of the object, and its acceleration during the movement.
Force = Mass x Acceleration
The common unit of force is the Newton (N). One Newton is the force required to accelerate one kilogram of mass at 1 meter per second per second.
1 N = 1kg m/s2, lets convert our wood chucking to metric for a bit to figure out this conversion.
.97 kg = 2.14 lbs.
So the woodchuck would have to exert .97 Newtons in order to move the wood one meter.
If we divide this by the number of feet in a meter 3.28 we get .29 Newtons.
Now we know it takes .29 newtons to move 2.14 lbs of seasond white oak 1 foot.
All we have to do now is figure out the number of BTU’s in .29 newton and a quick look at Unit Converter Pro tells us that .29 newton = .00027486696489 BTU.
Now we know that it takes .00027 BTU to move 2.14 lbs or one board foot of Seasoned White Oak 1 foot.
We also know that a 7 lb woodchuck burns .075 BTU per hour chucking wood. Finally we simply have to divide these two figures .00027486696489 BTU to move one board foot one foot/.075 BTU per hour and we get:
.0036 board feet per hour
So there is your answer Mr. Broemmel.

Answer: A woodchuck would chuck .0036 board feet per hour of wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood! Or not!

UPDATE: Patrick. Your math would be correct if you were to apply “regular” math. I used “dairy” math for the final calculation. Diary math is a system that allows dairy farmer to continue operation for two or more years even though they are losing money every day.
I will go ahead and recalculate our final figure using regular math and provide that answer.
.075 / .00027486696489 = 272.859272

New Answer: A woodchuck would chuck 272.85 board feet per hour of wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood!

However, once you add the OSHA required safety equipment, the 2 – 15 minute breaks per hour and a 30 minute lunch outlined in the Woodchuck Local 269 Union contract, it seems the actual number would be much less. Ill let you do the math on that one.
Also Deene Souza correctly pointed out the environmental restrictions plus the potential for animal rights activists protesting your operation make it highly unlikely any wood would get chucked at all. This is all, of course, theoretical!

 

[Lynx]

Where in the world did you get all that to copy, paste and chuck in here?