Why are most guys my age perverted/innapropiate?

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swagglestar214

Guest
#1
Now, I am not saying ALL guys. I am sure there are a good handful of guys that are pure and godly, but at this point of what I witness, it seems very rare. It disgusts me when guys seem to like making sexual jokes all the time, or talking how big a girl's butt is, and has a nice package for a one night stand or whatever. I'm tired of hearing inappropriate stuff, and it seems rampant in my supposedly Christian school. I do admit there was a time where I laughed at extremely inappropriate jokes from both guys and girls, but it's now I come to a point where I feel bad to laugh at such crass words, even if it is just for kidding around. It seems like everything in our society is about sex, and being I am very much exposed to it from watching TV accidentally or peers, now I have struggled into having a dirty mind occasionally, which I do not entertain, but feel disgusted when I get them. I do attribute people I know of being a factor of getting such thoughts that I have gotten, because that's how they talk majority of the time. I have become skeptical of all guys, even the Christian ones because who knows what they do in private or have control of their thoughts, especially younger guys. That's why I have never had a boyfriend or considered any relationship this age, because I am cautious of guys and their actions. I just feel like they all have lust on their mind and don't care, even if they say theyre chrisitian.

For example, I was on twitter the other day and some Christian guys I know from school retweet (liked) several pics of a girl showing her breasts or butt that looked so photoshopped. Ive always thought if a guy is transformed by Christ, they would have no interest to like indecent photos of women. They have even tweeted stuff in a jokingly manner like, "girls who send booty picc without me asking are a blessing" or "nudes are welcome" ...these are the same guys who also say, "God comes first" and "Thank God for waking me up today and giving me life" ...I don't know, its just things like this that is making me lose huge disinterest in the guy population, because they all seem to have one thing on their mind even they aren't as explicit about it as others. Most guys have never viewed me as more than a friend, because I am very innocent looking and innocent minded who has higher standards and believes in not getting very intimate with a guy when it comes to dating. But It's whatever. Your thoughts?
 
N

Nicee

Guest
#2
Generally every females know how men are. When they r looking for a guy to date they know what type of men they r looking 4. Guys differ differently in their age group, but when it comes 2 sexuality we r all the same. That not to say all guys r perverts.. no there are many respectful n self control guys. From age 14-18--that when both guys and girls r curious about sex or their sexuality. Males ten 2 be extremely curious. Well girls r not so curious but they 2 can be if they hangout with their friends 2 more or just makes friends etc.

Sexuality regardless if you r a teen or older it something ull get curious about. So how u go about dealing with ur curiousity will shape ur relationship with d opposite sex and how u represent urself in ur dating life.
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#3
Peer pressure is probably the main reason. When certain things and the way they're supposed to act in front of their friends/groups becomes the norm, many get sucked into that mentality and think that it's okay to say certain things and act certain ways around others and in turn builds them a false sense of pride and sense of belonging. Same goes for women in other aspects, which makes these men think it's okay to say and look at them in such manner to begin with. Unfortunately, you're going to be seeing this for a while longer, since many guys don't mature (especially mentally) until they are in their twenties, at least. Some may never grow up at all. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but in this day and age society embraces that men can just go after women and say what ever they think at that moment about them. This doesn't mean that women are off the hook, as long as women display their bodies for wrong attention then the problem isn't going to die down any less. Social media is the best bait for that. Broken homes where some of these guys may not have a proper father figure (or in some cases mother and father figures) to tell them how to act can also lead them to become this way as well.

The best thing one can really do is to not give into this type of behavior and don't expect anything short from respect when being talked to.
 

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2013
445
4
18
#4
welp it would best to say they are not really christians then
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
Christian school anymore typically means people with money can afford to pay the jacked up prices for a more controlled environment and better education. Notice it has nothing to do with spiritual beliefs. It may attract more Christians because of the title 'Christian school', and some of what is taught may be less worldly, but as far as who makes up the student body, they are just put their because that's where their parents want them. So doesn't pay to expect much just because the school is called Christian.
 
Aug 30, 2014
103
2
0
#7
It's not just guys your age. Many men are perverted their entire life. I know 19 year olds that are perverted, and i know 65 year old men that are perverted. And I know planty of women that are too. It just seems like a lot of people I talk to have an unhealthy obsession with sex. It's kind of weirding me out.
 

G4JC

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#8
...I just feel like they all have lust on their mind and don't care, even if they say theyre chrisitian...
Ive always thought if a guy is transformed by Christ, they would have no interest to like indecent photos of women. They have even tweeted stuff in a jokingly manner like, "girls who send booty picc without me asking are a blessing" or "nudes are welcome" ...these are the same guys who also say, "God comes first" and "Thank God for waking me up today and giving me life" ...I don't know, its just things like this that is making me lose huge disinterest...
Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

- Matthew 7:16-23

True & False Conversion - YouTube

The Fire Nate Pfeil - YouTube

Not everyone who professes Christianity is a christian. You will know them by their fruit, that is the fruit of the spirit and by their actions.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
- Galatians 5:22-25

There are many false conversions these days. I would strongly recommend avoiding those kind of people altogether. Other than to point them back to the bible and to repent there is no healthy fellowship to obtain there.

Leannaix said:
..It just seems like a lot of people I talk to have an unhealthy obsession with sex. It's kind of weirding me out.
Might I recommend finding some new friends? :)

https://lmddgtfy.net/?q=how+to+block+people

Yes, that might mean making your buddy list considerably smaller. But after the purge you'll have more time to read the bible for yourself and make new christian friends who actually share your values of purity.

Also some verses like this always make me take a moment to ponder before becoming too closely comfortable to those who are lost, simply because if we are not careful it will be the world ruining us rather than us helping those in the world.

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
- James 4:4


Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
- II Corinthians 6:14


... that being said. Keep praying for better friends, they're out there. Most of them just like you and unable to find Godly friends. :D
 
Q

Quake10

Guest
#9
This is a very interesting post, and i do agree with you alot of my guy friends make inappropriate jokes. I even struggle with this im 17-year-old guy , although i dont publicly post jokes like that on FB or Twitter. I mostly make jokes with my brother. This is something i have been struggling to overcome, and it was worst for me when i was 14 or 15. However just cause someone is struggling with it, doesnt make them non Christians. I disagree with NateDeGrimes. However if thats all they are thinking about, and arent trying at all to stop, then they may need to evaluate their Christianity. Im still a virgin, never had sex, but i have seen some things i shouldnt have looked at and felt badly afterwards and asked for God's forgiveness. Now one thing u do need to remember its not just guys. Girls are this way too, though not normally making crass jokes, i know lots of them still think those thoughts. Its also the new generation has become more depraved and more stuff is being permissible by the worlds standards. To be honest im having a very hard time staying strong, and sadly for me i dont only struggle with sexual desire i also am fighting crossdressing. Some people would say well im just not a Christian like NateDeGrimes. I still believe i am, and i believe im sinning when i think those thoughts or crossdress, and im trying to fix them. Its just exceptionally hard for me, but i believe God will not reject me, because im trying to stop. I just hope one day i will be truly free. Im straight, but i still believe crossdressing for me is a sexual sin, and i pray one day that God will heal me. If you can please pray for me, i need it. I also suggest u pray for those in ur school, because some of them are probably truly trying to stop making sex jokes and talk about it and think about it. I hope this helped u better understand what is in a guys mind, and dont give up, you will find the right one when the time comes.
 
E

ELECT

Guest
#10
To be honest I think both are evenly matched it is just women hide it while men are more open with it

just my 2 cents
 
Q

Quake10

Guest
#11
Please realize im not justifying anything. And im sorry if i was too detailed i just wanted to relay to u some of them, may be trying. For me, i tend to beat myself up alot and sometimes i will think im a terrible person. And though im a social person i hide my problems from the public, so my friends think im just fine, but in reality on the inside im hurting. Im just saying some of the people u mentioned could be struggling inwardly with something, still doesnt make it right though i know. Please also understand im not attacking anyone here, i just disagree with NateDeGrimes thinking on this.
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#12
Please also understand im not attacking anyone here, i just disagree with NateDeGrimes thinking on this.
I must say, I think Nate's statement was accurate. By definition, a Christian follows Christ. We are to be imitators of Him. For you to recognize that you struggle in areas and want help from God in overcoming them is a wonderful thing, I commend you.

But for people who are unabashedly sending pictures of women's private parts around the internet, where ladies they know can see how they view women, they are not following Christ. They are not sanctified.
 
Q

Quake10

Guest
#13
Yes i agree with you. However i dont believe that just a sex joke means you arent a Christian. But yes posting pictures like that is a terrible thing, and either they have some major problems with their relationship with God, or they arent truly Christians. I think i misunderstood. JimJimmers, would u consider me a Christian? Just curious
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#14
Hi Swag. :D I think it's important to remember that people don't say disrespectful things because they are guys. They say them because they are disrespectful.

There are awesome guys that behave in a Godly way, and there's a good chance you'll run into some soon. But I wouldn't worry too much about dating at your age anyway. Just do your best with studying and trying to grow in your own faith. You'll recognize an awesome guy when you see one. :)
 

dfarmer2001

Junior Member
Sep 1, 2014
28
0
1
#15
In God's honest truth I personally believe most people aren't raised in a good little church anymore, and even if they are they decide to do the things they want. You don't know how much sin this world has. It continues to go up and we have folks who just don't care what they say or do.
But I believe if you were to go up and place your hands on them and pray from your holy spirit, and pray for God to help them, He would do so, and this world would be a much better place.
If us Christians just went up to those doing wrong, and laid our hands on them and prayed from the bottom of our hearts to God asking Him to help them, He would do so.
 
H

HLR

Guest
#16
I'm not going to act like I've never acted in such a way, and at times even now I have my shortcomings. However, generally speaking, its not ONLY guys, and girls, your age that act so inappropriately. I've seen time and time again where PEOPLE (Meaning everyone, adults, teens, etc.) will post on social media a picture talking about God, or a status/tweet about attending Church, and in the very next post something sexual, or about drinking and partying.

Now, I'm not here to judge but in my opinion that makes other people look down on Christians. Here people are preaching and talking about Jesus/God, and then making these inappropriate comments.

Sadly, I don't think its ONLY guys your age. Its the society we live in in 2014. Kids see adults do it, and so they take it that its okay to do. I've seen these things first hand.

Maybe I am way out of line here.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#17
We live in a sex-soaked society. I would say pornography is largely responsible for much of the ungodly attitude teens have towards sex. That and peer-pressure and so many being from broken homes. There's no direction, no accountability, no responsibility and no understanding that there's absolute truth. They don't know (or believe) they're loved immensely by God and that there's hope in Christ. It's incredibly sickening how so many girls are debased and treated as sex objects by teen boys and men. But it works both ways. Boys and girls are responsible, so are men and women. None are innocent. Those who are hurt, hurt others. We need to reclaim God's original blueprint for sexuality.
 
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JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#18
JimJimmers, would u consider me a Christian? Just curious
I don't know you that well, of course, but once you get saved, if you're fighting against your carnal desires and trying to become more like Christ, yes. I consider you my brother.
 
Q

Quake10

Guest
#19
JimJimmers thank you. I agree with you, and im fighting my carnal desires but it is extremely hard. Thank you for not judging me and for not telling me im not a Christian.
 

Jakob

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
298
4
18
#20
If I saw my future wife walking down the street in a short skirt I would walk past her, cause what kind of sick relationship is based on lust like that. Sadly most girls expose skin cause they think that's the only way to get boys attention. But they'll only attract horny brainless boys, no Romeo like that. I pray for girls like that, I pray for guys too. They're all just confused.

I'm not perfect, it's just recently that I've really questioned everything. Just recently I found out I wanted, needed to be a Christian.

guys get temptation everyday, from billboards, and internet banners things to girls and (today) music videos hah... The list goes on.
And I find it attractive when a girl stands up against her whole culture/society and says "no, you can't tell me what to do, how to act, what to buy, how to dress and what to think. God is my role model, God is my God"
if that makes any sense? Cause those many atheist and some "Christians" do need a God so bad that they treat celebrities like they are Gods.

Not every guy is the same, like I hope not every girl is the same, sadly that's all I've ever seen here, so I get where you are coming from.
I could go on for ages but I gotta go. Have a nice day every one. :)