Giving up on Love

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B

Blythe

Guest
#1
#1
I am different than normal people. First of all I have homosexual desire. That doesn't begin to describe how evil my lust is. I'd rather keep this thread clean though so I won't go into any details. Just know I have some sick desires. I have always been christian and plan to stay that way. Seeing as how my evil desires won't go away easily or anytime soon, and I don't really see how I could convert these feelings to be towards women, I have decided to not love anyone. I won't have a husband or a wife, and I won't have sex... I'm not into sex anyways. Not the normal kind... Anyways I plan on getting a good job and then adopting a daughter who I plan to give all my love to. And just because I won't have a mate doesn't mean I won't have any friends so I won't be lonely. I plan on keeping my sick desires a secret and to just ignore my feelings. The only thing I'd have to fight is pornography. Of course it's not like I look at normal people porn... I also don't masturbate. Perhaps I'll be alright if I just stay away from the really dirty stuff. Kind of rambling to myself now... Sorry.

This is my plan so tell me, is it a good plan or should I try and get a wife? If I do I would not plan to have sex with her, I couldn't bring myself to do that because I don't look at woman as sexual objects, I look at them as people. To be honest I kind of hate men. Girls are nice and men are usually idiots. Usually, not always. Anyways please tell me if my plan is ok.
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#2
#2
Friend, you need a good body of believers for fellowship, prayer and growth. This sinful nature will take time to conquer as you grow closer to the Lord and renew your mind with the washing of his word.....don't give up or give in, get help
 
G4JC

G4JC

Senior Member
#3
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#3
Most importantly - Pray to God. Ask him to renew your mind.

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
- Ephesians 4:23-24

I'd also recommend checking out these resources:
VIDEO: Freedom Stories | Gay Christian Movement Watch
Hope for Homosexuals

Wether or not you remain celebate is irrelevant to the root problem, pray to God and read scripture regularly. :)
 
B

Blythe

Guest
#4
#4
I'd love help but sadly that means I need transportation and money which I have neither of. I'll have to be patient and wait till I'm older before I can start going to church again... Though I probably should be reading the bible. And I don't plan to give into this sin, I just plan to ignore it. Granted that means I will never have a spouse but I don't mind.
 
B

Blythe

Guest
#5
#5
G4JC said:
Most importantly - Pray to God. Ask him to renew your mind.

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
- Ephesians 4:23-24

I'd also recommend checking out these resources:
VIDEO: Freedom Stories | Gay Christian Movement Watch
Hope for Homosexuals

Wether or not you remain celebate is irrelevant to the root problem, pray to God and read scripture regularly. :)
Click to expand...
Thank you I will pray to him. And I will look at those videos some time too. As for the comment about being celibate, it's not that I'm trying to resist sex, it's just that I sincerely don't want it. It's disgusting. My lust as I said is different than other peoples.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
You absolutely do not need a wife. And having a desire for sex with a woman does not mean she is being viewed as a sexual object. God created sex and intended it to be a bond between a married man and woman. In fact the bible states that a married couple should not go long periods of time without sex but should 'come together regularly' to help protect their marriage.

Nor do i think it wise to adopt a daughter. If you are struggling with such 'sick desires' then you need to ensue whatever they are, you have worked on them and have gotten farther along in handling them better. Repressing desire does not make it go away.

So, personally, i think you should avoid marriage and having a child. To actively seek out to bring a child into your life to raise as a single parent is not wise and i don't think you understand the challenges. You are still young and mentally have not even finished developing. If i were you i would not be so eager to map my life out. Because often times things don't work according to our plans because they are not Gods plans. Or just because we live in an unpredictable world and don't know what all the challenges we face ahead.
Go to school. Try to get a good job. Then just hold off on the rest, let yourself grow up and mature before doing anything else with your life. Find out the difficulties parents have in being a single parent. They come in many forms. Also find out what are the negative consequences of raising a child without two parents.

I don't believe you are thinking things through fully nor planning your life with wisdom and knowledge.
 
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
#7
May 7, 2013
1,639
105
63
#7
Hey Blythe,

I just want to give you a hug if I could. I am sure it's not easy to deal with all this.

But can I tell you something and hope that you don't get upset about it? :)


You're only 17.

There is still a journey left for you.

The Bible says, that if our desires and passions cannot be controlled, it's better to marry than to burn with it ( 1 Corinthians 7:9)

As it seems to not be your desire for now, you can put that on the back burner. That's completely fine. Don't even worry about it.

However here's another thing - your battle against certain things can certainly be given to God.

You know NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE for HIM, and He makes us new creatures in HIM. We are no longer like the old and can cast off all these things of the flesh. (Luke 1:37, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:22-23)

So you can submit your feelings to God and ask Him to give you courage , wisdom and strength to deal with it. God is just and faithful so don't worry about anything.

Relax. And you know what Blythe? Love will find you. After all God is love :).

Right now I said a prayer for you that you would find an understanding and loving girl who you would love and who would love you back.

She would give you joy and companionship, compassion and love. She would be your co-partner and co-helper in anything you do and she would make you so happy like only women can :). (It's all in God's hands. May His Will be done)

God bless you!

<3



PS - I just saw Ugly's post and I second his opinion on focussing on getting a job, doing well in school and just being happy being young.

Just keep thanking God and keep your eyes focused on HIM. Seriously. Write it on a piece of paper somewhere in red. I need to do this as well.
 
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D

dalconn

Guest
#8
#8
You do not need any money, check out "celebrate recovery". Once you find a group maybe someone would help you with a ride
 
B

Blythe

Guest
#9
#9
Ugly said:
You absolutely do not need a wife. And having a desire for sex with a woman does not mean she is being viewed as a sexual object. God created sex and intended it to be a bond between a married man and woman. In fact the bible states that a married couple should not go long periods of time without sex but should 'come together regularly' to help protect their marriage.

Nor do i think it wise to adopt a daughter. If you are struggling with such 'sick desires' then you need to ensue whatever they are, you have worked on them and have gotten farther along in handling them better. Repressing desire does not make it go away.

So, personally, i think you should avoid marriage and having a child. To actively seek out to bring a child into your life to raise as a single parent is not wise and i don't think you understand the challenges. You are still young and mentally have not even finished developing. If i were you i would not be so eager to map my life out. Because often times things don't work according to our plans because they are not Gods plans. Or just because we live in an unpredictable world and don't know what all the challenges we face ahead.
Go to school. Try to get a good job. Then just hold off on the rest, let yourself grow up and mature before doing anything else with your life. Find out the difficulties parents have in being a single parent. They come in many forms. Also find out what are the negative consequences of raising a child without two parents.

I don't believe you are thinking things through fully nor planning your life with wisdom and knowledge.
Click to expand...
I know repressing it doesn't make it go away, but so what? As long as I don't act on it, which acting on half of that desire is impossible anyways, I should be ok.

My mom and dad are divorced and have had to raise 3 kids by themselves for years and they are ok-ish. There both special cases though. I wasn't planning on adopting until I had a good job and a good place to live first. The only results from a married couple raising a kid that I have seen have been failures. I'm sure I will be fine depending on the girl I adopt.
 
B

Blythe

Guest
#10
#10
Rachel20 said:
Hey Blythe,

I just want to give you a hug if I could. I am sure it's not easy to deal with all this.

But can I tell you something and hope that you don't get upset about it? :)


You're only 17.

There is still a journey left for you.

The Bible says, that if our desires and passions cannot be controlled, it's better to marry than to burn with it ( 1 Corinthians 7:9)

As it seems to not be your desire for now, you can put that on the back burner. That's completely fine. Don't even worry about it.

However here's another thing - your battle against certain things can certainly be given to God.

You know NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE for HIM, and He makes us new creatures in HIM. We are no longer like the old and can cast off all these things of the flesh. (Luke 1:37, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:22-23)

So you can submit your feelings to God and ask Him to give you courage , wisdom and strength to deal with it. God is just and faithful so don't worry about anything.

Relax. And you know what Blythe? Love will find you. After all God is love :).

Right now I said a prayer for you that you would find an understanding and loving girl who you would love and who would love you back.

She would give you joy and companionship, compassion and love. She would be your co-partner and co-helper in anything you do and she would make you so happy like only women can :). (It's all in God's hands. May His Will be done)

God bless you!

<3



PS - I just saw Ugly's post and I second his opinion on focussing on getting a job, doing well in school and just being happy being young.

Just keep thanking God and keep your eyes focused on HIM. Seriously. Write it on a piece of paper somewhere in red. I need to do this as well.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your prayer and compassion as well as support and hope :)
 
B

Blythe

Guest
#11
#11
If anyone would like to know about how evil my desires and help me figure out how much help I need that'd be nice... It's pretty sick though. Pm me only if you are okay with talking about very serious things. (It's almost midnight for me though so don't expect a reply until tomorrow afternoon.)
 
Channa

Channa

Senior Member
#12
Mar 1, 2014
381
2
18
#12
He. I'll pray for ya. God is the only one, who can help ya how to deal with t.
 
JoyfulFleur

JoyfulFleur

Senior Member
#13
Feb 2, 2014
230
1
18
#13
Blythe,

I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like to have desire for the same gender and the struggle that comes with it. Even though I have not experienced that, I am completely sorry you are in this situation. Really, I am.

I am just as young as you are, so perhaps my advice is not going to be all the needed;but...I am going to share some encouragement anyways. Do I think your plan is good? From the previous advice other members have had to offer, I agree that your plan is not all that good(not trying to be rude). Christian to Christian, I would have to say you are viewing your situation in a doubtful manner. We are all broken individuals who need the intervention of Jesus to make us new again, right? Your sin's shackles are incapable of withstanding God's power, and to think differently is an act of not trusting your God(which God is very vocal about and encourages us to do). As Christians, we are made, by the blood, to be VICTORIOUS warriors. There is no defeat in the name "Christian" and we do not have to accept it.

1 John 4:4 - "greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world."

You may not see a possible way out or a means of escape, and there will be none if you are relying on your own power. The idea of not being able to conquer a sin is a lie spewed from the enemy. Ignore it! The God we worship is the same God who spoke the planets into orbit and breathed life unto the earth. He is forever omnipotent and never changes(Hebrews 13:8). Without God, we are nothing and too weak to win our personal battles. But if we trust in God with our whole heart and believe His Word to be true, these sins will no longer have a hold on us and will not be allowed too either, because everything must bow down to Jesus's name. The shackles that once were holding you down, will be broken - making you free to live a life without those evil desires.

"Seeing as how my evil desires won't go away easily or anytime soon, and I don't really see how I could convert these feelings to be towards women."

You are right. YOU cannot convert these feelings but God can. As I said, we are nothing and we are weak. I know it is easier said than done( The trick is getting the mind to stop being doubtful and possessing other such thoughts. Being of a fallen nature, it is easy to forget the Lord's power and instead act on our thoughts of doubts. I understand completely), but I also know it is possible to combat certain sins. Jesus died for each and every sin, and no sin is too difficult for Jesus. Our sins are not special nor define as a "special person". A sinner is a sinner and that is why Jesus shed His blood.

I wish you the best in your life and will pray for you. Through Christ there is hope and victory. :)

 
V

VioletReigns

Guest
#14
#14
Father God, I pray You bless Blythe, my brother. I ask that You lift him up above this world, give him rest in his mind, let him come near to You and learn about the peace that You give that nobody or nothing can take away from him. Lord, teach Blythe to focus on You, to hear You Voice, that he learn to know Your nature and be renewed in his heart & mind. Let him be free of restlessness and fear and discouragement. Thank You, Lord for hearing my prayer, for hearing the prayer of Blythe's heart. Amen. :D
 
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