Trying to get my happiness back

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
T

titia00

Guest
#1
#1
Hey I'm turning 15 and I really need some help or advice. Is it wrong for me to pile myself with tons of work, not because I'm ambitious but because I'm trying to forget that I'm depressed? This happened after my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago. I know this may seem pretty typical but it really hurts especially if its all my fault. I treated him terribly but yet he was still there for me. However, I accidentally cheated (yes accidental because right now idk why i did it). He was torn. But soon I realised I was an idiot and realised that I still loved him. So I told him I would change and treat him better. It was amazing how he said he would still hold on to me. But suddenly, things change. The more I try to make it up for all my mistakes, he suddenly would push me away. He would hang out with his friends more often that me and suddenly he told me he didn't love me. After that, the start of my 2015 was filled with nothing but regret. As busy as I am, as many competitions I won, it still never felt enough. I still keep thinking of him and I still regret not being better. Now I try my best not to be alone or to be very busy because the moment I dont do anything, flashback strikes and I start to cry. Its been going on for months now and I really wanna let go. But theres that tiny part of me that is still willing to wait. I know I was a total idiot, and I know God probably did that for a reason, but now I wanna know, how do I forget entirely and how do I learn to forgive myself? Because I know, even I cant forgive myself so easily. btw, I keep seeing him like everyday in school so it really stings eventho it has been up to 4 months of not talking. Please help me! :(
 
Channa

Channa

Senior Member
#2
Mar 1, 2014
381
2
18
#2
He Titia,

Forget him entirely isn't easy. Maybe entirely forgetting isn't what you should want; you've learned from it!
Maybe you should try to talk to him. It would make things less awkward, and maybe you can become friends again.
Also, you are more than an ex. Hang out with your friends, maybe look for a sport, visit your grandparents more often, anyway; look for people who you can trust.

God Bless!
Channa
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#3
You are 15 years, and too young to be dating, and wayyy too young to be having sex. I hope you used protection with these two guys. Kids your age have no concept of what true love is. You cheated on him, and treated him terribly. Why would he want to stay in that environment with you? I'm assuming he's your age also, and it sounds like he's smartened up and left a relationship that was going nowhere. He told you he doesn't love you, so that's a clear sign that he's left this relationship. Stop torturing yourself, he's not coming back to you, so count this as a hard lesson learned. The two of you are immature and have alot of growing up to do. Leave him alone and let him get on with his life. Meanwhile you get on with yours. And no, burying yourself under a ton of work won't help. It won't fix anything. It's been four months, and that's a long time to hold on to something that ended long ago. Obviously he's over it, and you should be, too. Make sure next time you treat someone better, and not cheat on them again. Cheating on him is probably what did in your relationship with him. Concentrate on being a kid, getting through school and getting on with life.
 
T

titia00

Guest
#4
#4
I tried every possible way to just start being friends with him, but he would rather do something else than talk, he wouldnt even look at me anymore. Finding a sport is hard too because even my favourite sport reminds me of him because we used to play it together ><
 
Channa

Channa

Senior Member
#5
Mar 1, 2014
381
2
18
#5
titia00 said:
I tried every possible way to just start being friends with him, but he would rather do something else than talk, he wouldnt even look at me anymore. Finding a sport is hard too because even my favourite sport reminds me of him because we used to play it together ><
Click to expand...

Pray to God that those feelings will stop. You shouldn't not-be-playing-your-sport because of him; I really hope those will leave soon! GB
 
W

WolfGaming

Guest
#6
#6
and is you did cheat on him sex before you get a husband is a sin and cheating on some one hurts you prob hurt him really bad but yes try maybe be friends again first and build of a good friendship maybe he is the one God wants you to be with when you get older. :) God bless sister
 
MadeInGodsImage

MadeInGodsImage

Senior Member
#7
Mar 30, 2015
147
1
16
#7
Hi Titia! I had a similar issue with my ex, but there was no cheating involved, just an issue happened to arise on which we couldn't agree in the same way. It lead to her pushing me away when I tried to work things out. After a few months of this, we had no contact with each other, she was moving on and I had to move on as well. It was difficult, like you mentioned all the flashbacks came back to me and I was depressed. That is when I started to develop a strong relationship with God, I focused on my relationship with Him, then on my grades, sports, books, friends etc. I kept praying to God to give me the strength to go through all of this, and He helped me. I moved on, and my ex started talking again and said she wants it all back or at least be friends. I said no because there's nothing good that would come out of it for me or her, I didn't trust her anymore and she did not care about God either.

For me, even if I was busy with something, I had the flashbacks hit me over and over. If you feel like to cry at those times then go ahead, let it all out. Then pray to God at that moment, he will help you through it and you can soon get over it. You need to move on, your ex told you he doesn't love you, and you said you tried everything to make things better, so now just focus on yourself. I don't think he's gonna come back, honestly if a girl cheated on me then that would be the end. If she promises me to be better with a strong willpower, I would think about it and ask God's guidance, but it would be difficult for me to go back even as friends. Stop thinking about how to make things better with him, stop waiting, you did everything you could, if God wants him to be the man for you, then it will be so in the right time, or else there's someone else out there who God has made for you.

And welcome to CC! God bless you. :)
 
J

Jokurandomi

Senior Member
#8
Mar 7, 2015
106
3
18
#8
My friend had that same problem, he tried to stop those feelings towards her, he kept telling me that he stopped those feelings towards her but really he didin't until they become friends again. I think you really should be friends with him again so you could stop those feelings towards him. Keep praying that you could stop them.

God bless and welcome to cc :)
( Haha sry for my bad english )
 
W

WolfGaming

Guest
#9
#9
WolfGaming said:
and is you did cheat on him sex before you get a husband is a sin and cheating on some one hurts you prob hurt him really bad but yes try maybe be friends again first and build of a good friendship maybe he is the one God wants you to be with when you get older. :) God bless sister
Click to expand...
and if* sorry for my spelling XD
 
P

pwrnJC

Banned
#10
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#10
Let me share this little song that I learned when i was 15: Happiness is to know the Savior, living a life within HIS favor, having a change in my behavior, happiness is the LORD. Happiness is a new creation, JESUS and me in close relation, having a part in HIS Salvation, happiness is the LORD. Real joy is mine, no matter if teardrops start. i've found the answer, it's JESUS in my heart. Happiness is to be forgiven, living a life that's worth the living, taking a trip that leads to heaven, happiness is the Lord, happiness is THE LORD! (I am 60 now and it still helps me through. Age 15 is tough, but you are gonna make it)
 
T

titia00

Guest
#11
#11
Wow thanks a lot :) The feelings I can take away, but what hurts is the regret. The regret that I could have been better... Do you know any ways?
 
T

titia00

Guest
#12
#12
I know I'm an idiot and yes I'm too young. But the only thing that's hurting now is the fact that I regret not doing better. I'm sorry :(
 
MadeInGodsImage

MadeInGodsImage

Senior Member
#13
Mar 30, 2015
147
1
16
#13
Titia, there's always gonna be regret in most of the things we do. For example after a test we would be like - Oh if I prepared better, I could have scored more. Or think about sports, if we lose a game we would be like - Oh if we trained better, we could have won. We are humans and we make mistakes, no need to worry about the regrets. God has a plan for you, maybe your ex will come back in that plan or maybe he won't. Its good to know that your having regrets for a mistake you did, but don't drown in it. Just learn from it and make sure it won't happen again. I think you asked God for forgiveness for what you have done, and also apologised to your ex right? Thats all that is needed now, then just focus on yourself and God. :)
 
W

WolfGaming

Guest
#14
#14
titia00 it will hurt we always can do better but you have to pray for God to forgive you and then you need to forgive yourself it took a long time for me to try and let go of my x and I still miss her from time to time try to grow more in the word and pray for God to give you peace I feel bad for you it really sucks to be in a thing like this but God is with you and he loves you in time he mite send you the one he wants you to be with and I know how can there be on better than him/ her for me anyway but God is great is he is good trust in him he loves you and we all love and care for you here as well stay strong ever need some one to talk about it to or feeling down right here I like to help if I can.


#Howls
 
T

titia00

Guest
#15
#15
What do you do if you feel empty? Or lonely? Now I feel like I just failed God's test and I'm scared God won't give me a second chance seeing as how I handled the first one... And now, although it has been months, I am still constantly worried of what he might be doing, or who he's with.. Technically, he didn't say he didn't love me, he said he loved me, but just not as much as he did last time.. What does that mean and now I am in constant worry
 
MadeInGodsImage

MadeInGodsImage

Senior Member
#16
Mar 30, 2015
147
1
16
#16
Firstly I want to apologize for replying so late, I missed out on your post, sorry.

What I would do if I feel empty or lonely? I would spend time with God. If my relationship with God is right, I won't feel empty or lonely. I understand how you feel, when I broke off my past relationship I did feel empty, but that was what I needed to move closer to God. When God wants you to focus on Him, or when God wants to talk to you, there will be times where He will remove things from your life which won't let you focus on God. At that time God might make you alone so you can just focus on God. Maybe this is your opportunity to go closer to Him?

God will offcourse give you a second chance, that's why Jesus died on the cross, for you, for me and for everyone.

If your ex said that he doesn't love you like before, I think that means he is moving on. Or he is trying to. Try not to keep thinking about your ex all the time, you have better things to do. It's a horrible feeling of constantly worrying about your ex. Go closer to God, make Him your best friend, make Him your first priority, He loves you so much that we can't measure it, so much that we can't define it, so much that it is infinite and then do you think that he will let you be lonely? Never. God will guide you back on the right track in your life like He did for me. That includes good friends, better grades and everything else you would need.
 
P

pwrnJC

Banned
#17
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#17
You are 'turning 14" ? meaning that you are 13 years old and already this much drama is in your life, over boyfriends? Oh my gosh, girl! I do not want to read your posts when you are 16-18...it would sicken me. You are creating your own reality TV sitcom here. Nobody but yourself is to blame. You have got to get refocused. Step back from yourself being your own worst enemy. Be the awesome young lady that GOD has planned for you. Your present situation only spells TROUBLE ahead. You do not need commitment, boys to cry over, or even a love life. Please do not tell me that you and your single mom live in a run down trailer court. There has to be more to this story than you are sharing with us. I see meds in your life, depression, nervous breakdowns and more.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.