Please help, girlfriend drinking.

[Jakob]

I have a girlfriend, i really love her. She used to be on drugs and alcohol a lot.
We lived together for 5 months. We helped each other, spirtually.
She had to go back to London, and I had to stay here in Denmark, we said we were gonna continue the relationship, and see each other soon, latest in august, but hopefully earlier.

She was on coke 2 days ago. She hasnt been on it, 5 months.
She was very sad, and apologized, and told me everything, like how she came home at 6 am.
She says that there is one side that is spirtual and reasonable, and one side that is/wants the opposite.
The other side wants to be a dumb partygirl taking drugs and having "fun"
She has been like that, in 2014 she slept with like 8 people.

From the start I knew her, she said she liked going out, meeting people, dancing, drinking.

I now said, she has to know, or be aware of the difference between going out with friends, and having a drink, or drinking out of control. She got defensive and said "I'll think about it, but I cant now, I need positive energy"

I asked if she could please stop drinking, cause that like gives more chances of the other side coming out of her.
She said "My best friends birthday is in 2 days, and then i also have to drink saturday for her actual birthday party. And there is this festival with my sister im going to in mid-june. But I dont have to drink that much"
And i was saying "just please stop drinking, you need it, to become spirtual and look inside of yourself, to be aware"
and she said "ill not drink at all July. Dry july. Pleased?"
And I was like "dont please me, please yourself"
its like she doesnt realize alcohol is a problem. . .
Where she lives (In london) it is seemed as "cool" and "fun" i guess.

What Do I do? Please, PLEASE tell me..

 

[Jakob]

Btw. She does say she does NOT want to be that person anymore, that side. And that she took coke, to know that she shouldnt do it or something. She does really need help. But sometimes she is in denial I think, and as all you need is love song is saying "there is no one you can save that cant be saved"
Like SHE has to help herself, I cant preach about anything if she doesnt listen.
What do i do..

 

[WolfGaming]

ok brother this will be hard for you but I must tell you this

 

[WolfGaming]

She is wrong for you she will not stop drinking she has slept with people and brother


Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

If you are living together and sleeping together you are in sin it pains me to tell you but if I don't I will be juged by God
it is what I must to help a brother in his sin brother Repent and turn from your sin.


I know you lover her and ccare for her and she is your everything but she is not changing and showing a Godly way of living
you must leave her and try to find someone that is a stronger christen than you if not the same level but brother I am sorry this is why it tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14



14Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?…


I will pray that you make the right choice brother let God and his ways be first in your life and this will happen less and less.

 

[kingerik]

I have a girlfriend, i really love her. She used to be on drugs and alcohol a lot.
We lived together for 5 months. We helped each other, spirtually.
She had to go back to London, and I had to stay here in Denmark, we said we were gonna continue the relationship, and see each other soon, latest in august, but hopefully earlier.

She was on coke 2 days ago. She hasnt been on it, 5 months.
She was very sad, and apologized, and told me everything, like how she came home at 6 am.
She says that there is one side that is spirtual and reasonable, and one side that is/wants the opposite.
The other side wants to be a dumb partygirl taking drugs and having "fun"
She has been like that, in 2014 she slept with like 8 people.

From the start I knew her, she said she liked going out, meeting people, dancing, drinking.

I now said, she has to know, or be aware of the difference between going out with friends, and having a drink, or drinking out of control. She got defensive and said "I'll think about it, but I cant now, I need positive energy"

I asked if she could please stop drinking, cause that like gives more chances of the other side coming out of her.
She said "My best friends birthday is in 2 days, and then i also have to drink saturday for her actual birthday party. And there is this festival with my sister im going to in mid-june. But I dont have to drink that much"
And i was saying "just please stop drinking, you need it, to become spirtual and look inside of yourself, to be aware"
and she said "ill not drink at all July. Dry july. Pleased?"
And I was like "dont please me, please yourself"
its like she doesnt realize alcohol is a problem. . .
Where she lives (In london) it is seemed as "cool" and "fun" i guess.

What Do I do? Please, PLEASE tell me..

This is hard but you're probably going to have to end it. It is way harder than not wanting to be "That Side". Best bet, break up and pray for her, but as far as a GF/BF goes, don't do that to yourself. She needs to be left to God. A lot of times people can't get through so they have to go on their own experiences and be left to prayer and God.

 

[WolfGaming]

This is hard but you're probably going to have to end it. It is way harder than not wanting to be "That Side". Best bet, break up and pray for her, but as far as a GF/BF goes, don't do that to yourself. She needs to be left to God. A lot of times people can't get through so they have to go on their own experiences and be left to prayer and God.

thank you for agreeing with me brother.

 

[MiaH]

I would recommend she seek christian counseling or doctor who specialize in drug addiction.

I would also suggest that you have boundaries with her, pray & mediate on the word of God, talk to a WISE christian who has been free from drug abuse.

The Full Armor of God
10.Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11.Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.…Ephesians 6:10

 

[atwhatcost]

I have a girlfriend, i really love her. She used to be on drugs and alcohol a lot.
We lived together for 5 months. We helped each other, spirtually.
She had to go back to London, and I had to stay here in Denmark, we said we were gonna continue the relationship, and see each other soon, latest in august, but hopefully earlier.

She was on coke 2 days ago. She hasnt been on it, 5 months.
She was very sad, and apologized, and told me everything, like how she came home at 6 am.
She says that there is one side that is spirtual and reasonable, and one side that is/wants the opposite.
The other side wants to be a dumb partygirl taking drugs and having "fun"
She has been like that, in 2014 she slept with like 8 people.

From the start I knew her, she said she liked going out, meeting people, dancing, drinking.

I now said, she has to know, or be aware of the difference between going out with friends, and having a drink, or drinking out of control. She got defensive and said "I'll think about it, but I cant now, I need positive energy"

I asked if she could please stop drinking, cause that like gives more chances of the other side coming out of her.
She said "My best friends birthday is in 2 days, and then i also have to drink saturday for her actual birthday party. And there is this festival with my sister im going to in mid-june. But I dont have to drink that much"
And i was saying "just please stop drinking, you need it, to become spirtual and look inside of yourself, to be aware"
and she said "ill not drink at all July. Dry july. Pleased?"
And I was like "dont please me, please yourself"
its like she doesnt realize alcohol is a problem. . .
Where she lives (In london) it is seemed as "cool" and "fun" i guess.

What Do I do? Please, PLEASE tell me..

You forgot the other part of your story that you told on the family board. The "I got drunk, 8 days, some days being okay," part. And the part where she's not a Christian, (so hard to help you spiritually there.)

 

[atwhatcost]

Btw. She does say she does NOT want to be that person anymore, that side. And that she took coke, to know that she shouldnt do it or something. She does really need help. But sometimes she is in denial I think, and as all you need is love song is saying "there is no one you can save that cant be saved"
Like SHE has to help herself, I cant preach about anything if she doesnt listen.
What do i do..

And you're in denial too.

 

[Jakob]

I understand that, this makes me feel like im a terrible person.
I left my things out, so people could reply to my girlfriends problem, who I am most concerned about.
I want to stop drinking, I am sober, said no to my mom offering me a drink just yesterday.
While she doesnt really want to stop, fully.

 

[Channa]

I understand that, this makes me feel like im a terrible person.
I left my things out, so people could reply to my girlfriends problem, who I am most concerned about.
I want to stop drinking, I am sober, said no to my mom offering me a drink just yesterday.
While she doesnt really want to stop, fully.

He Jakob, you aren't a terrible person. You try to do the best for everyone. At least you try, don't you? That's good! I'll pray for you and your girlfriend. You've got the strenght to keep saying no to drinks! And well about your girlfriend.. I'm sorry, but I've to say that I agree with the others above. It's better to break up :/ God bless,

 

[PeterJens]

I have a girlfriend, i really love her. She used to be on drugs and alcohol a lot.
We lived together for 5 months. We helped each other, spirtually.

What Do I do? Please, PLEASE tell me..

You are just being used, and you like the relationship. You have been living together as a married couple, but there is no commitment. You provide her with what she wants, and she just goes off and wastes it all, without any concern for you.
The world is full of people like this, they want someone to cuddle and give them affection but are quite happy to go off and die. You are the mug, "she doesnt realize alcohol is a problem".

If you want a sensible life, which is honourable, loving and caring, she is the last person in the world you should be involved with. All she will do is drag you down a hole with no bottom, because she does not care and gave up many years ago.

At your age it seems all so beautiful, but come 30, a drug addict, no job, no money and no heart, suicide is very likely or serious mental illness. Even Jesus can only help those who call out and admit their need, else you can just warn and walk away.

 

[patience]

I have a girlfriend, i really love her. She used to be on drugs and alcohol a lot.
We lived together for 5 months. We helped each other, spirtually.
She had to go back to London, and I had to stay here in Denmark, we said we were gonna continue the relationship, and see each other soon, latest in august, but hopefully earlier.

She was on coke 2 days ago. She hasnt been on it, 5 months.
She was very sad, and apologized, and told me everything, like how she came home at 6 am.
She says that there is one side that is spirtual and reasonable, and one side that is/wants the opposite.
The other side wants to be a dumb partygirl taking drugs and having "fun"
She has been like that, in 2014 she slept with like 8 people.

From the start I knew her, she said she liked going out, meeting people, dancing, drinking.

I now said, she has to know, or be aware of the difference between going out with friends, and having a drink, or drinking out of control. She got defensive and said "I'll think about it, but I cant now, I need positive energy"

I asked if she could please stop drinking, cause that like gives more chances of the other side coming out of her.
She said "My best friends birthday is in 2 days, and then i also have to drink saturday for her actual birthday party. And there is this festival with my sister im going to in mid-june. But I dont have to drink that much"
And i was saying "just please stop drinking, you need it, to become spirtual and look inside of yourself, to be aware"
and she said "ill not drink at all July. Dry july. Pleased?"
And I was like "dont please me, please yourself"
its like she doesnt realize alcohol is a problem. . .
Where she lives (In london) it is seemed as "cool" and "fun" i guess.

What Do I do? Please, PLEASE tell me..

Sounds like your girl friend is making excuse to drink and she not ready to give up her life style or friends, no matter how much we try to be their for a person and help them, they have to be willing to give it all up and say I am done with this ..

I say for you have no regrets you did your best , so don't beat your self up over it.. But I would walk away. you have your future to think of and the dreams you want to build for your future reach for the stars and don't let anyone or anything hold you back..

Sorry but it sounds like she not ready to walk away from her life style , so don't let it take you down that road also.. You can still be her friend and be that shoulder to lean on when she wants someone to talk to, Just let her know that you are moving forward with your life and you got to think of your future .. I wish you the best with what ever you decide ..

 

[atwhatcost]

I understand that, this makes me feel like im a terrible person.
I left my things out, so people could reply to my girlfriends problem, who I am most concerned about.
I want to stop drinking, I am sober, said no to my mom offering me a drink just yesterday.
While she doesnt really want to stop, fully.

​You can't fix her. You can work on you with help.

 

[ServantStrike]

I understand that, this makes me feel like im a terrible person.
I left my things out, so people could reply to my girlfriends problem, who I am most concerned about.
I want to stop drinking, I am sober, said no to my mom offering me a drink just yesterday.
While she doesnt really want to stop, fully.

Okay, if you have a drinking problem (or had one) then the last thing you should do is hang out with an alcoholic right?

And you're a Christian and she's not?

She's dangerous for you man. You need to let her go. You can't fix her, but she can break you.

 

[Practice-English]

Seriously
you're not able to stay single,
Wake UP!
You are just 19 years old !!!!
Come on!!!
That's so pity!!
I realized you're not Christian at all!
You flirt with her by knowing she are
addicted to drink and to smoke!
This' called BAD DESIRED!
You're superficial that's the reason
who always having S**** with her!

 

[jennaleanne]

Hey dear brother.. I pray comfort and strength to you now in Jesus name. May the God of all hope and peace fill you now.. May his word come alive in you so that you know the truth and the truth will set you free.

Its a very painful difficult situation you are in. You need to pray and ask God for wisdom... Seek his word. Its sounds very much like your girlfriend has 1 foot in Gods kingdom and one foot in the enemys.. You have to make a choice where you stand. the bible says that bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinth 15:33) We become who we are with. I say these things to you in all love.. We are supposed to speak truth to one another. Pray for your girlfriend that she will know the fullness of Gods love and who she really is in Christ, People don't change through us pointing out there problems. Most of the time they already know, they just don't know how to change. Romans 2v4 Says its Gods goodness that leads our hearts to repent. Show her Gods love by being patient and kind and long suffering.. Don't use this as an excuse to stay with her though as it could be a long wait ! Praying for you both

 

[jennaleanne]

You forgot the other part of your story that you told on the family board. The "I got drunk, 8 days, some days being okay," part. And the part where she's not a Christian, (so hard to help you spiritually there.)

There is no need for this kind of response

 

[atwhatcost]

There is no need for this kind of response

There certainly is when he's playing the hero out to save the school marm in distress, but the reality is he and the school marm are both tied to the train tracks in different countries.

This isn't the real story. The story on the other forum may or may not be the real story, and yet look how many are trying to fix a situation they know so little about.

Sometimes I can offer a helping hand to someone, if they are truthful. No one can help if they're intentionally left in the dark. They can only hurt.

 

[blue_ladybug]

IMO, they need to break up if they haven't already, because they're both alcoholics who are both tied to the same train tracks, as atwhatcost put it. They both need rehab and spiritual/ psychological counseling, and most of all they need to stop enabling each other and making excuses. Either you wanna both be drunks the rest of your lives, or you both wanna get clean and start living for God again. Which is it? There's no middle ground here, it's either the alcohol/drugs, or God. You can't have the alcohol AND God. You cannot serve two masters.

You need to stop worrying about HER and focus on yourself. Just as she needs to stop worrying about YOU and focus on herself. You both need serious help.