So Shes Pregnant...?

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Levichevett

Guest
#1
#1
Ok so i was dating this girl a while back and it was quite sexual (ik that was not a smart thing to do at all) but now shes saying that shes pregnant. And its even more complicated because she cheated on me around that time and she has no idea who the real father is. She refuses to tell the other guy or her parents (they would freak) so they do not know anything about it. She wants to have a abortion and shes asked me to go with her this weekend to a abortion clinic to get it done. Personally, i would rather keep this child and do everything i can to be the best father to that child because i just feel thats right and ive always wanted to be a father. But she is fully set on getting a abortion. Really i just need some advice on what the hell i should be doing right now.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
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Tennessee
#2
The girl needs a sensible Christian adult to discuss this matter with. Probably the best thing for her is to have the baby and put the baby up for adoption. It's not about what you should be doing right now. Seems to me that you've done enough damage. You also need a sensible Christian adult to discuss the consequences of your actions and to help set you on the right path. Unless you learn from this you will certainly have great problems that will impact your future for years to come.
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#3
#3
tourist said:
The girl needs a sensible Christian adult to discuss this matter with. Probably the best thing for her is to have the baby and put the baby up for adoption. It's not about what you should be doing right now. Seems to me that you've done enough damage. You also need a sensible Christian adult to discuss the consequences of your actions and to help set you on the right path. Unless you learn from this you will certainly have great problems that will impact your future for years to come.
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they aint any sensible christian adults here that i know of >_< she isnt even a christian. like this is a really bad anti religious area :/ and i have learnt from this >_< a lot
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Levichevett said:
Ok so i was dating this girl a while back and it was quite sexual (ik that was not a smart thing to do at all) but now shes saying that shes pregnant. And its even more complicated because she cheated on me around that time and she has no idea who the real father is. She refuses to tell the other guy or her parents (they would freak) so they do not know anything about it. She wants to have a abortion and shes asked me to go with her this weekend to a abortion clinic to get it done. Personally, i would rather keep this child and do everything i can to be the best father to that child because i just feel thats right and ive always wanted to be a father. But she is fully set on getting a abortion. Really i just need some advice on what the hell i should be doing right now.
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Yes, having sex at 14 was wrong. It was also stupid not to wear protection, because if you had, you wouldn't be in this predicament right now. I'm assuming this girl is around your age? You are both wayyy too young for sex, and much too young to be parents. I agree with tourist, that she should have the baby and put it up for adoption. If she's set on having an abortion and no one can change her mind, then that's between her and God. She will answer to him one day.

What YOU should do is stop having sex. With anyone. You concentrate on getting right with God on this. Give it to him and let him handle it. In the meantime, maybe talk to the girl about putting it up for adoption, instead of abortion. Be blunt with her. Tell her abortion is basically murder, and that she's wrong to do it. She helped create this baby--tell her she needs to do what's right for the baby, NOT what's comfortable for her or you.

Concentrate on being kids, going to school, having fun. The two of you are babies yourselves.. You are NOT ready to raise one.. :/
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#5
#5
blue_ladybug said:
Yes, having sex at 14 was wrong. It was also stupid not to wear protection, because if you had, you wouldn't be in this predicament right now. I'm assuming this girl is around your age? You are both wayyy too young for sex, and much too young to be parents. I agree with tourist, that she should have the baby and put it up for adoption. If she's set on having an abortion and no one can change her mind, then that's between her and God. She will answer to him one day.

What YOU should do is stop having sex. With anyone. You concentrate on getting right with God on this. Give it to him and let him handle it. In the meantime, maybe talk to the girl about putting it up for adoption, instead of abortion. Be blunt with her. Tell her abortion is basically murder, and that she's wrong to do it. She helped create this baby--tell her she needs to do what's right for the baby, NOT what's comfortable for her or you.

Concentrate on being kids, going to school, having fun. The two of you are babies yourselves.. You are NOT ready to raise one.. :/
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yes shes 14 as well. ive been talking to her all night about it but shes set on a abortion and i cant really do much else. and yes it was pretty stupid to do what we did :( i just wish that at least that i could do something good now
 
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VioletReigns

Guest
#6
#6
Dear Levichevett, perhaps you can give this information to the young girl:

LIFE Charity | LIFE is a pro-life charity that supports anyone facing a crisis pregnancy, pregnancy loss or after an abortion, and strives to engage, inspire and inform the next generation

You can also Google "pro life counseling" in your specific area and find more helpful links.

As for being a father at 14, that wouldn't be the best solution for a precious baby who will need alot of care (spiritually, physically, medically, emotionally, etc.). I suggest you talk to a pro life counselor for yourself. Present your situation to them so they can offer you wise options.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation, son. I'm sorry you don't have adults you can depend on in your family. I pray in Jesus' name you surrender your heart and mind to the Lord and let Him guide you to those who can give you wise counsel and understanding. My heart goes out to you. Please talk to the Lord and trust Him, dear.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#7
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#7
Levichevett said:
yes shes 14 as well. ive been talking to her all night about it but shes set on a abortion and i cant really do much else. and yes it was pretty stupid to do what we did :( i just wish that at least that i could do something good now
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I don't know what state you're in, but minors can't get abortions without a parent's consent. Do her parents know she wants an abortion? If not, you should tell them. She can't get the abortion without their consent.
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#8
#8
blue_ladybug said:
I don't know what state you're in, but minors can't get abortions without a parent's consent. Do her parents know she wants an abortion? If not, you should tell them. She can't get the abortion without their consent.
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oh :/ we didnt consider that. hm she hasnt even told them yet and i promised her i wouldnt tell anyone so i dont know ill talk to her about it and try and get her to tell them first
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#9
#9
VioletReigns said:
Dear Levichevett, perhaps you can give this information to the young girl:

LIFE Charity | LIFE is a pro-life charity that supports anyone facing a crisis pregnancy, pregnancy loss or after an abortion, and strives to engage, inspire and inform the next generation

You can also Google "pro life counseling" in your specific area and find more helpful links.

As for being a father at 14, that wouldn't be the best solution for a precious baby who will need alot of care (spiritually, physically, medically, emotionally, etc.). I suggest you talk to a pro life counselor for yourself. Present your situation to them so they can offer you wise options.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation, son. I'm sorry you don't have adults you can depend on in your family. I pray in Jesus' name you surrender your heart and mind to the Lord and let Him guide you to those who can give you wise counsel and understanding. My heart goes out to you. Please talk to the Lord and trust Him, dear.
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thanks :3 i will ask her to look it up and i will check it out too.
 
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VioletReigns

Guest
#10
#10
Father God, thank You so much that this young man has turned to a Christian forum for help in his time of need. I pray he be led by Your Spirit and follows You so that he can know a life of joy, peace and freedom in You, Jesus!

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P

pwrnJC

Banned
#11
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
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#11
Such is the result of premarital sex......
 
Z

zoii

Banned
#13
Apr 8, 2015
895
18
0
#13
Wow I can imagine how stressful this is for you and your gf. Theres a fair bit to think about like first of all is the health of your girlfriend. Is she seeing a Dr/Obstetrician. She should be getting ante-natal care (before birth care) even at the very early stages. You guys definitely need professional advice on choices you have. People here have given you some but a health professional can give you exact details on the choices you have, the outcomes of those choices and how to organise things.

They can also advise that if you ARE going to have sex, talk to you about contraception. This site of course advises no pre-marital sex but geez I am sure NOT going to judge you. I just hope you guys work it out. I do also hope that you have the baby and sort through the choices around that option because its a massive deal having a baby when you guys are so young.

Try not to feel down on yourself. Just foucus on making sure your gf is OK mentally and physically and be a good person to her. Take Care
Zoii
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#14
zoii said:
Wow I can imagine how stressful this is for you and your gf. Theres a fair bit to think about like first of all is the health of your girlfriend. Is she seeing a Dr/Obstetrician. She should be getting ante-natal care (before birth care) even at the very early stages. You guys definitely need professional advice on choices you have. People here have given you some but a health professional can give you exact details on the choices you have, the outcomes of those choices and how to organise things.




They can also advise that if you ARE going to have sex, talk to you about contraception. This site of course advises no pre-marital sex but geez I am sure NOT going to judge you. I just hope you guys work it out. I do also hope that you have the baby and sort through the choices around that option because its a massive deal having a baby when you guys are so young.

Try not to feel down on yourself. Just foucus on making sure your gf is OK mentally and physically and be a good person to her. Take Care
Zoii
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Sorry, zoii but you're wrong. It's PRE-natal care. Pre means "before". Ante means "after." :)
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#15
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#15
Levichevett said:
yes shes 14 as well. ive been talking to her all night about it but shes set on a abortion and i cant really do much else. and yes it was pretty stupid to do what we did :( i just wish that at least that i could do something good now
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At 14 I don't think she can just go and have an abortion without consent from an adult - I could be wrong but someone older and in charge is going to have to know about this... If you go to church then you should involve your Pastor personally I would say your parents first. Yes, they will be disappointed but someone who is responsible should be giving you advise.

You truly need to learn from this situation as at 14 you are not able or ready to support and raise a child mainly because you are a child yourself doing adult things that you should not be doing. You have made a mistake and I am not yelling at you at all just trying to point out that you need help in this situation to have it taken care of in the most responsible way and that would be letting both of your parents know about it. I would also suggest that a paternity test be done to determine if you are the actual Father of this child....

When you do grown up things there are grown up responsibilities that follow. Dear child you should be playing sports and going to school having a good time not out having sex before you are ready to deal with the responsibilities of doing so. Learn from this and know that God forgives you when you make mistakes, but He wants you to learn not to repeat these mistakes. Talk to someone who can truly help you get through this you need an adult by your side to help you with this... God is already with you and you just need to reach out to Him and ask Him to help you do the right thing now.

Praying you will have learned and become smarter through all of this and that God will be with you and help you make the right choices now. God loves you and your parents love you too. Go get some help with this....
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#16
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#16
Dear Young Brother I want you to know that I am not judging you as I was wrong myself at 24 getting pregnant without being married, the only good thing about it was I was old enough to be able to have the baby and raise her. I just wanted you to know that I am not judging you because I am a sinner myself.... You are just too young at 14 to raise this child. Praying that you will get both sets of parents involved and get this situation sorted out for the best outcome for you the young lady and the baby.

Please get closer to God through this He will see you through it if you let Him.
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#17
#17
i went to see her today and well i got her to tell her parents. her dads told my parents so they know now as well. its sort of a mess atm but we are going to the doctors tomorrow to see like what options they are and that although she is still saying that she wants to go ahead with the abortion so idk really
 
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Brother_J_BELGIUM

Guest
#18
#18
Levichevett said:
Ok so i was dating this girl a while back and it was quite sexual (ik that was not a smart thing to do at all) but now shes saying that shes pregnant. And its even more complicated because she cheated on me around that time and she has no idea who the real father is. She refuses to tell the other guy or her parents (they would freak) so they do not know anything about it. She wants to have a abortion and shes asked me to go with her this weekend to a abortion clinic to get it done. Personally, i would rather keep this child and do everything i can to be the best father to that child because i just feel thats right and ive always wanted to be a father. But she is fully set on getting a abortion. Really i just need some advice on what the hell i should be doing right now.
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It's bad that it has happened but you can't go back in time. Try and talk to her to keep the baby - is she a believer? Show her that you are there for her, so maybe you'll gain more respect so she'll listen to you not to do the "abortion", i.e. killing of an innocent child. When it's born, you still have many "good" options to go for; keep it or give up for adoption.
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#19
#19
Brother_J_BELGIUM said:
It's bad that it has happened but you can't go back in time. Try and talk to her to keep the baby - is she a believer? Show her that you are there for her, so maybe you'll gain more respect so she'll listen to you not to do the "abortion", i.e. killing of an innocent child. When it's born, you still have many "good" options to go for; keep it or give up for adoption.
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nah shes not a believer. but im still tryna talk her away from abortion but she just doesnt see anything wrong with it
 
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Brother_J_BELGIUM

Guest
#20
#20
Levichevett said:
nah shes not a believer. but im still tryna talk her away from abortion but she just doesnt see anything wrong with it
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Ok, that doesn't make it a lot easier... Are your parents aware of this?
 
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