Struggles in my life

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zoii

Banned
#1
Apr 8, 2015
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#1
What does it mean if I cant accept certain biblical ideals. What if I cant accept the idea that a man must be head of a relationship and not a partner. What If I do actually believe god created the universe but not in 6 days but rather as per the big bang. What if I believe in evolution and accept the science of carbon dating. What if I fear men and want nothing to do with them let alone a relationship with one. If I believe in God and Jesus but accept that some things in the bible are not in line with what I believe in science or myself as a girl..... Does that mean I'm not christian.

At the moment I'm really sad n fragile so....
 
Elisabet

Elisabet

Senior Member
#2
Jul 11, 2015
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I don't know, but sometimes there are some parts from Bible that are difficult for me to believe as well. But as the time goes, i start to believe the truth from the scripture. I think the best way is to talk with someone you believe. We are teens and we grow up together in Christ. Sometimes we just have to let go everything and trust God completely. Many miracles which Jesus did were not logical, but God is much more than what our logic can understand. It's hard indeed when your eyes are closed and you are guided somewhere, you have to trust that person completely although therea the possibility he will push you or make you fall down. But that's faith.
As Christians we have to believe in what Jesus says in the Bible. Even when its not logical, its the challenge. We dont see any signs but we have to trust Him, the creator and owner of the whole universe (John 20:29)
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#3
#3
Whether or not your a true christian or not is really only between you and God. Lifes about learning these things and finding them out for ourselves. Dont let anybody tell you what you are and arent.
 
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bebeautiful

Guest
#4
#4
It took me a long time to come to terms with what i believe scientifically, and what the bible says, until I found my faith. I have to say that for me prayer played a big part in finding my faith and being able to just believe in something that almost seemed hard to accept. It wasn't until I started praying on a regular basis, that i started having less doubts and more trust. I have battled for the better part of a decade over what I thought I believed vs what the bible says about certain things, and I have come to the conclusion that I don't know and won't know all of the answers to everything until the end of my days. For me, faith was taking a giant leap and hoping someone would catch me--and God did, at the time I most needed Him, He was there for me! And it was like all of my doubts seemed to diminish, and I was filled with love and hope. I can not even begin to explain how big a role prayer played in finding my faith--at first i almost felt silly praying...hoping someone was actually listening, and I know now that God really was.
I guess all I'm trying to say is don't underestimate the power of prayer! It was exactly what i needed when i felt like i didn't have any answers. Pray, draw close to God, ask questions to him, continue this on a daily basis, it will give you the strength you need :)
Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
 
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Jenizona

Jenizona

Senior Member
#5
Aug 8, 2015
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Hi, zoii! Jen here! :cool: To begin with, and to take from a Douglas Adam's book, just imagine large, friendly letters that say, DON'T PANIC! ;) You are perfectly normal!

1. I believe in man as a partner in a relationship, not an overlord. My husband agrees in this too, and can't stand men who think otherwise. Good men exist out there who respect women and love the Lord, so don't worry too much about that!

2. After years of college and studying evolution, I totally believe in a six-day Creation. I find that it is scientifically valid! Keep studying, keep learning, keep questioning! But know this! I had a Christian professor one time who told me, "If God told me that evolution was real.. that He used it to create everything... it still wouldn't change the fact that Christ died on the cross for us." Meaning... evolution is a secondary issue, not one that decides the fate of your soul! As a believer, your soul is safe in Christ, so have fun questioning and learning, and don't worry about it!

3. When you say you "fear" men... take this verse and memorize it, if you haven't already! "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). My version says "timidity" instead of "fear," and "self-discipline" instead of "sound mind," but either way you look at it, it's good! To be cautious of men is good! Downright healthy, if you ask me. But that spirit of fear needs to be done away with, and I know you can do it! :)

Anyway, be encouraged! Personally, I suspect that you are far stronger than you are giving yourself credit for...:cool:
 
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Angiewhuh

Guest
#6
#6
Up until a few months ago, I had so much trouble acknowledging the passage of scripture about wives submitting to their husbands, but now, after much prayer and understanding, I've found myself at peace with it. I've found myself wanting to get married than I've ever wanted to. When you clearly see what marriage represents, you will see that it is a beautiful thing. I suggest that you spend time with God in prayer and reading the bible, but I'm going to explain the marriage situation as best as I can.




Read Ephesians 5:22-33
It talks about the roles of the wife and husband.


So, the husband and wife ARE partners. But God has given the man the leadership role in the marriage. You obviously can't have 2 people both in leadership- especially with the sin and way that people conflict with each other. If a wife and husband were both in leadership then the decision making would be horrible and there would be no order. Submission is all around us. You submit to Policemen and military officers. You submit to teachers and presidents. You submit to your boss and managers. Even God and Jesus don't have the same authority. For there is a ranking. Jesus is every bit equal to God, yet he submits to God. We submit to Jesus and in the process are submitting to God the father. We women are equal to our husbands but he has given the man the responsibility to be the leader.


Read the story of Adam and Eve where God curses them. You will see that God says to eve that she will have a desire to rule over her husband but he will rule over her. I believe that that's why we have such a difficult time accepting submission. There's other reasons too.


Submitting isn't being used as a doormat or being dominated. Submission HAS to be a choice of the wife to respect her husband. But be thankful because the husband doesn't have it easy. God holds him accountable for EVERYTHING that goes on in the household. If he makes a bad decision for the family it's on him. He also is told to love his wife as Jesus loves people. Why would a husband who loves his wife more than himself want to boss her around and be mean? A husband is also told to love his wife unconditionally no matter what she does. He is told to understand and listen to his wife, so you shouldn't feel ignored. He should ask for your input and ask for your advice before making decisions.


Just make sure you discuss these things before you marry someone.


It's important to marry a man who WILL love you as Jesus loves us for either way, you are required to submit.
 
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Pilkington

Senior Member
#7
Jan 13, 2015
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I am so sorry you are feeling sad and fragile. I think you an awesome person, with really strong convictions.

Pretty much all the things you have mentioned are secondary issues. Is it essential to believe in a creation which took place in 6 days, no, is it wrong to believe in evolution and carbon dating as long as it doesn't stop you believing in God, no. Again you will find Christians with all sorts of views about whether man is the head in relationship or whether marriage is a partnership.

The key thing is you do believe in God and Jesus.

Our faith changes and develops over time as our understanding changes.
 
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chrislink

Member
#8
Aug 18, 2015
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I think the Word of God is true from the genesis to the revelation.We're supposed to believe it by the faith,nothing is wrong in the Bible:rev.21:5 proves what i'm sayin'"then the one sitting on the throne said:I am making everything new.whrite down what I
have said.my words are true and can be trusted...".2Peter1-19:"All this mâles us even certain That what the prophets said is true.So you should Pay close attention to their message as you would to a lamp shining in some dark place.You must keep on paying attention until daylight comes and morning star rises in your hearts.But you need to realize that no one alone can understand any of the prophecies in the scriptures.The prophets did not think these things up on their own,but they were guided by the spirit of God." so,the bible is clear,we should Pay attention!!!
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#9
Aug 12, 2011
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Aw, zoii, don't feel like you have to have everything figured out right now. Your views will probably shift in different ways as you grow, like everyone's do, but that's a good thing. When I was 6, I believed some pretty crazy things! And when I was 8, I thought how silly my 6 year old self was. And now... you guessed it, now I think my 8 year old self didn't know anything at all! :cool: I'm not trying to say that the things you believe are silly (far from it!) but I'm saying that when our views change, it's usually a result of maturity happening. Some things that seem inconceivable right now might make more sense down the road.

The bible says something really cool, about how God will continue to improve us and show us where our attitudes are not the ones He wants us to have. I personally hope that you never change for another human being, or have a specific view just because someone told you that it was right... but that God Himself helps you grow into whatever He wants you to be, and reveals truth to you in a wonderful way, and heals whatever hurts you have in your heart right now. When that happens, zoii, my sister... you won't want to argue. It's the best thing ever. Ask Him to guide you to the truth, if that's what you want to do, and then please relax. Rest in Him and know that He wants the best for you, and that all of the things you mentioned in your post really don't need to be fully understood right now. Be you, and seek Him. I believe everything else will sort itself out if you do. :)
 
Consumed

Consumed

Senior Member
#10
Jun 4, 2015
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#10
Listen to popclick, she's wise and vast in knowledge
 
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zoii

Banned
#12
Apr 8, 2015
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#12
I'm not very good atm and these things just add to it. I think I am a kind person and gentle to people but when I read that I am a heretic if I have different views to the literal translation of the bible, it upsets me deeply. I appreciate what a number of you are saying. I am very sensitive over the issue of men having control over my life and in truth never see myself as ever having a relationship with one. Ive already been told before that such a thought means I'm not a true christian.... so then I think, well what am I then?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#13
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#13
zoii said:
I'm not very good atm and these things just add to it. I think I am a kind person and gentle to people but when I read that I am a heretic if I have different views to the literal translation of the bible, it upsets me deeply. I appreciate what a number of you are saying. I am very sensitive over the issue of men having control over my life and in truth never see myself as ever having a relationship with one. Ive already been told before that such a thought means I'm not a true christian.... so then I think, well what am I then?
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Having read many of your posts I will say that what you are is a true Christian. You sure aren't a heretic whatever that is. I don't blame you for being sensitive about men having control over your life. Eventually, you may desire a lasting relationship with a man. If or when that time comes just simply pray to God for Him to search and find a man of your heart's desire. If you allow God to chose your future mate you can be sure that he will not be controlling. He will be loving, kind and considerate.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#14
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#14
zoii said:
I'm not very good atm and these things just add to it. I think I am a kind person and gentle to people but when I read that I am a heretic if I have different views to the literal translation of the bible, it upsets me deeply. I appreciate what a number of you are saying. I am very sensitive over the issue of men having control over my life and in truth never see myself as ever having a relationship with one. Ive already been told before that such a thought means I'm not a true christian.... so then I think, well what am I then?
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Well, there's no law or command that says you have to be in a relationship at all. In fact, the bible says that it's good to remain single. Not that everyone needs to remain single, but if that is what you want to do, then it's totally fine and there are a lot of good things about singleness.

If you want to remain single because of previous hurts in your life, I hope and pray that God heals those hurts and leads you to whatever counseling or help you ought to have. But that's important so you will be healed and whole and the awesome zoii that God wants you to be, set free in every sense of the word... not so that you will be in a relationship. If you don't want a relationship, that's totally fine. And you have time to figure things out! Sometimes time is all it takes for things to make a little more sense. Don't fret. Rest in His love. It's perfect. :) Hugs!
 
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Pilkington

Senior Member
#15
Jan 13, 2015
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#15
zoii said:
I'm not very good atm and these things just add to it. I think I am a kind person and gentle to people but when I read that I am a heretic if I have different views to the literal translation of the bible, it upsets me deeply. I appreciate what a number of you are saying. I am very sensitive over the issue of men having control over my life and in truth never see myself as ever having a relationship with one. Ive already been told before that such a thought means I'm not a true christian.... so then I think, well what am I then?
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Having read a number of posts I see you not only as kind and gentle but as caring, a good listener, creative and wise beyond your years. If you are heretic then most of us here are no really you are not a heretic. You will come across people who take the bible literally however the bible has to be read understanding the context of the passage (the context within the bible book and within the bible as a whole), who was it written to and why was it written.

You don't have to give control over your life in a relationship and you don't have to have a relationship with a man. In my opinion the only person who should have control of our lives is God. The main passage that is used to beat women over the head about submitting to their husbands is in Ephesians 5. The thing I don't understand is why the verses before and after are hardly ever quoted before it states submit to one another (so mutual submission) and the verse after Husbands are told to love their wife's as Christ loves the church and that they should be willing to die for her. Personally I believe in marriage it works best when both the husband and wife are willing to submit to each other.
 
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zoii

Banned
#16
Apr 8, 2015
895
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#16
@ Pilkington ty for your kind reply. I have lots of issues that I really need to go through but Im a bit too fragile to discuss them atm.
 
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Pilkington

Senior Member
#17
Jan 13, 2015
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#17
No worries. I suspect we all have lots of issues, I know I have my fair share. I totally get being too fragile to discuss things just remember their are lot of people out their who do care about you. If you do want to discuss things there will be people around who care, yes you may get the odd person who isn't helpful just sift through the dross to find the gold. I will be praying for you.
 
kingerik

kingerik

Senior Member
#19
Sep 25, 2013
260
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#19
zoii said:
What does it mean if I cant accept certain biblical ideals. What if I cant accept the idea that a man must be head of a relationship and not a partner. What If I do actually believe god created the universe but not in 6 days but rather as per the big bang. What if I believe in evolution and accept the science of carbon dating. What if I fear men and want nothing to do with them let alone a relationship with one. If I believe in God and Jesus but accept that some things in the bible are not in line with what I believe in science or myself as a girl..... Does that mean I'm not christian.

At the moment I'm really sad n fragile so....
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no, it means you're an average human learning to figure out your own ideas. I won't restate what others have stated but prayer is your biggest weapon. Also...Why couldn't God have used the big bang to make the universe? the answer is he could have...he spoke and just like that there was an explosion of planets and stars. Evolution? There are two parts, macro and micro, I believe in micro, I don't believe in macro(which is the part that says we evolved from apes). Science is not the opposite of God but it should be used to explain some of the natural things that God has done in a way that we know. Science is inquiry. It is okay to inquire.

Also...men, You don't have to date them. You could be alone. Paul was. In fact, Paul says it is better to be alone for more ministry opportunities. Not everyone in the world is destined to have a spouse or kids. Pray about it because you're only 15, that's no time to write off anyone! I'm not even looking for a girlfriend right now because I rather focus on God and that's perfectly okay! It's not the teenage norm but being different is better, High school relationships are pointless really.


Pray! Ask God to put your perspective in line with his? If he is the God of the universe, I'm pretty sure he has every answer there is.

Have a blessed day zoii! Don't be sad. God still loves you. You didn't do anything wrong!
 
Jenizona

Jenizona

Senior Member
#20
Aug 8, 2015
629
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#20
zoii said:
I am very sensitive over the issue of men having control over my life . . .
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Yeah, I would hate that... when I read those words, I cringed. Fortunately, "leadership" does not mean that you get to make all the decisions or have control over the other person. If that were the case, I would -definitely- not be married.
 
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