Daddy

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
L

Levichevett

Guest
#1
Daddy, will you look me in the eyes,
Pretend you can’t see the pain I’ve disguised?
You trapped me in my mind,
Then when I reach for you, you turn around.
Daddy why did you shove me down?
You made me hurt.
As long as they’re ok I’ll let it go,
But Daddy please I have to know.
I wrote you letters – you left unanswered,
Daddy is it my fault that it happened?
I don’t know anymore – please Daddy, help me.
I’m not strong enough to run and escape this,
But I’m strong enough to be screaming hatred.
You said you hate me - did you mean it?
They told me you were a bad Dad but I don’t believe it.
Daddy do you remember all those little things?
The way I smiled when you would sing?
Daddy, were we happy or was it just me?
Daddy I don’t hate you, please don’t hate me.
Would you hate me even more if you knew who I was?
I know I made the blood that falls from my wrists,
But Daddy I never meant to scar my heart like this.
Daddy how can I change my life
When I don’t even know what love is?
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#2
Love is GOD! If daddy is a reference to GOD, he would never hate you. If you have a DADDY whom has not been a father, I am sorry and understand. Regardless the poem is written well. Use the anger in your art and not towards your Heavenly Father. Prayers and blessings to you!
 
J

JesusIsMyLordAndSavior

Guest
#3
Deep poem, but yeah like what JeniBean said if Daddy is refered to God then it would'nt make sense since God will never hate you and will always love you. I'm sorry if who ever your refering to as Daddy is not being a father to you, but remember God is the only father you need. God bless to both of you.
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#4
I was thinking of my actual father but parts of that are defiontly how it feels with God as well. I just wish things were better.
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#5
I was thinking of my actual father but parts of that are defiontly how it feels with God as well. I just wish things were better.
Levi, I can understand your pain and frustration with your father. However, please do not let the anger consume you. His words and actions to you have nothing to do with you. It has every thing to do with him and the hate towards himself. He is projecting it on to you. Please reach for your heavenly father. My children have had no father in their life for 8 years. please note my youngest is 8, so she has never met him. My oldest will tell you once he let him go and all his crap and concentrated on God, things got better. He has days when he is mad at the situation he placed us all in, but knows GOD has a plan. I will keep praying for you!
 
S

shotgunner

Guest
#6
I was thinking of my actual father but parts of that are defiontly how it feels with God as well. I just wish things were better.
If your natural father is turning away from you it's because he can't deal with his own pain. Parents always see their children as a reflection of themselves. If we see our children hurting we feel it's because we somehow failed. We see every failure of a child as something we did wrong.

You see God in the same light as your father because natural fathers should be a reflection of our heavenly father. When a natural father hasn't been the real image of God, when he has failed to be a proper father, you see your heavenly father as the same. In other words, you get a false image of your heavenly father based on your earthly father's mistakes.

Spend some time reading your bible in the NT to get to know your true heavenly father. It is even possible to help your earthly father to have a new identity imparted by the heavenly father.

You see, all children gain their identity of who they are from their fathers. The perfect plan was for all fathers all the way from Adam to gain their identity from God. God the perfect father would impart his identity to Adam, and Adam would impart that Godly identity to his sons and so forth. Then sin entered in and ever since Satan has tried to impart a false identity to all mankind.

You can take back your rightful identity by learning who God says you are now, but you will have to spend time with him to do it. What son will really know their father if they spend no time with him?
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#7
its just crap that I aint even allowed to go visit him when hes my actual dad. Like i get it hes in jail they dont want us to see him like that but why does that mean that I dont deserve to be able to have a relationship with him. and then i cant talk to my stepdad about anything because hes so judgemental and like he doesnt know how to deal with my behaviour so he just shouts at me all the time and then wonders y i respond better to when my brother tells me to do something. i want my dad back he made a hell of a lot of mistakes and he scared me so much sometimes and it hurt so bad but every night hed be there to tuck us into bed and tell us he loved us. He made me feel better and loved and like I mattered and i just really want to feel like that again
 
S

shotgunner

Guest
#8
its just crap that I aint even allowed to go visit him when hes my actual dad. Like i get it hes in jail they dont want us to see him like that but why does that mean that I dont deserve to be able to have a relationship with him. and then i cant talk to my stepdad about anything because hes so judgemental and like he doesnt know how to deal with my behaviour so he just shouts at me all the time and then wonders y i respond better to when my brother tells me to do something. i want my dad back he made a hell of a lot of mistakes and he scared me so much sometimes and it hurt so bad but every night hed be there to tuck us into bed and tell us he loved us. He made me feel better and loved and like I mattered and i just really want to feel like that again
every night hed be there to tuck us into bed and tell us he loved us. He made me feel better and loved and like I mattered and i just really want to feel like that again[/QUOTE]


Why don't you tell your step dad that? It would break my heart if my step daughter told me that. the only thing I would want to do would be to hug her and try to help. You say he's judgmental and doesn't know how to deal with your behavior. Why do you think he's like that? If your behavior is so bad, why do you think you do those things? We need to get to the problem and treat that rather than the symptoms.
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#9
every night hed be there to tuck us into bed and tell us he loved us. He made me feel better and loved and like I mattered and i just really want to feel like that again
Why don't you tell your step dad that? It would break my heart if my step daughter told me that. the only thing I would want to do would be to hug her and try to help. You say he's judgmental and doesn't know how to deal with your behavior. Why do you think he's like that? If your behavior is so bad, why do you think you do those things? We need to get to the problem and treat that rather than the symptoms.[/QUOTE]

I can't tell him he wouldnt listen. And even if he did he wouldnt care or he'd just tell me to talk to my counsellor about it or soemthing.
idk y he's like that he just is.
And that depends really. Like I have to many emotions and i can't deal with then so I tend to act on them instead of thinking about what im doing. Some of things they just make me feel happy for a while and I guess that's sort of what keeps me sane
 
S

shotgunner

Guest
#10
Son, you really need to talk to your step dad and tell him how you feel. Make sure neither of you are angry when you do and make sure there's time to really talk. You desperately need a father in your life. You need all the things a father is supposed to impart to his son. You need security, approval, encouragement, and guidance. You also need discipline, not as punishment so much as a correct path to follow. A disciplined man is a man who keeps himself on track to achieve all his goals.

If your step dad isn't willing to fill that role then you need someone who will, perhaps a youth pastor, or even an adult pastor. Help is available if you really want to seek it.
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#11
I dont want anyone else I want my Dad
 
S

shotgunner

Guest
#12
I dont want anyone else I want my Dad
I know you do, and I feel for you, I really do. It seems however that the best thing you can do is make the best out of a bad situation. Acting out because of anger at the situation isn't going to help at all. In fact Satan has been trying to kill you over it hasn't he? I think you have great and important things to do in this life or Satan wouldn't be working so hard against you. Please don't let Satan win!
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#13
Stan won't win
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#14
Satan* sorry stan
 
S

shotgunner

Guest
#15
Satan is already defeated. All you have to do is believe. You can have a Father in God who will fill the void for you that has been created by not having your natural father. Then when you are able to have a relationship with your natural father again, it will be all the better. Just tell your Father God everything you want to tell your natural father. Tell him all your anger, pain , and frustration. Let him fill you up with love , joy, and peace. He will help restore every relationship in your life if you ask him to and do what he says.
 
V

VioletReigns

Guest
#16
Wow..... Awesome write! Man, you have some serious courage as a man (young though you be) to open yourself up like that. I am totally blown away. Serious faith in God to expose your heart-felt emotions, Levichevett.

And I can relate. BIG time. I'm gonna send you a private message in a few moments. If you don't want my pm, just delete it, brother. It's just some information ya might wanna read when ya get a chance.

Thanks again for sharing this waaaay compelling and heart-rending piece. You certainly write well! Peace to you in Christ Jesus!
 
L

Levichevett

Guest
#17
[video]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vYoapICIfeE[/video]

ik this is about being gay but it means so much more then just that to me. I can choose my friends and I can choose my family. If they won't accept me then others will have me.