Seeking an advice.

[Valentine]

Hi.
Firstly, I want to apologize for my English, since it's not my first language, and if I didn't post it in the right category I'm also sorry. But I hope someone will have the patience to read and understand what I wrote.
I feel like God doesn't care about me anymore. I grew up in a small church. About five years ago my parents decided to send me in some camps with the kids from a church in a bigger city. It was so nice to be in the presence of those people who spoke about God and lived what they spoke about, I felt another kind of warmth and joy than usual. But once I was returning home, things were going back to their usual manner, without involving God too much in my life, or not involving him at all.
Last year, I experienced a kind of happiness and peace I never felt before. I felt so full of joy, that I knew even if it was to die that time, I would've gone home and I had no regrets related to anything I would've left behind. It was the most powerful experience of my life, it was the most beautiful and profound joy I ever felt. I ceded to sins, though, all over and over again, I didn't pray, I stopped asking for forgiveness and the joy vanished kind of quickly. This year when I went to another Christian camp I didn't feel the presence of God anymore. I didn't feel joy. I didn't feel peace. I didn't feel forgiveness. I prayed, and I felt like I didn't pray to anyone.
I am not aware of the danger and misery of the sin anymore. I started wishing to be more like my friends who have fun in clubs, who have sex, who live a rebellious life. And I know it is bad, but unlike before... a voice in my head tells me it's not that bad. I felt like I am totally lost, it scares me. I feel like God finally gave up on me. I continue to persist into some sinful habits which I know they are wrong and I am ashamed to speak about. I caught myself trying to find arguments for which they are not sins, but I know the truth. And I feel like my mind, at almost 18 years, it's absolutely miserable and corrupted by sin, although I only "practiced" it in my thoughts. I prayed, but I feel like this wall of sins is too big and heavy, and the presence of God cannot reach me anymore. I tried to seek advice from my parents but they only keep on telling me to get baptized because the end is near and I go to hell. But... I feel like God stopped calling for me and I wasted all my chances of getting back to Him. I feel completely worthless.

 

[Ugly]

Think about what you're saying. That something you've done is so great that the Creator of all life and the universe is powerless against it. Is that what you believe? Because, in essence, that is what you are saying.
Second, take a look at some of the Apostles lives. They were not perfect. Especially Peter. Peter denied Christ repeatedly, doubted Christ when he walked out onto the water, then when they came to take Christ away Peter got violent. But God still said he was founding His church on Peter.
Don't make sin out to be more powerful than God. Don't make yourself out to be more powerful than God.

What is faith, according to scripture? It's believing without being able to see or feel. Trusting blindly. Forgiveness and faith are not emotions and cannot be judged as such. Following God isn't about 'feeling' Christian enough, or 'feeling' saved or forgiven. It's about Knowing those things, even when you don't feel that way.
If you have decided to change your ways, stop the sins you've been involved in, then accept that God has forgiven you.

Many Christians go through times where they feel God is close and all of the things you described. And they also go through periods like the one you're talking about now. The important thing is to hold on to Gods promises in scriptures, not your feelings.

Far as what your parents are saying, baptism doesn't save. It's a symbol of our salvation, it's a public profession of our trust in God, but nothing more.

 

[GuessWho]

Salut si bine ai venit pe forum!

I don't think I am in measure to give advices since I also feel the same (most of the times). I lost contact with the church since I moved in Mexico and I feel like I abandoned God, not the other way around. I became lazy in living the faith. I find myself spending a lot of time talking about God, reading about God...but I don't feel that my heart has changed. Just like you, I find justifications for my sins telling myself that "it's alright, it's not that bad" and so and so. I'm afraid I am one of those people who confess God with their lips, but their hearts are very far from God.

The only redeeming thing I find in myself (and in yourself as well) is that I am aware of my sin, of my failure and that I don't want to give up God. And neither do you, otherwise, you wouldn't have asked for advice.

I say we both get back on our knees and come with honesty in front of God. He didn't abandon us. Just like with Adam, God is asking us "where are you?". Because we moved away from Him, not Him from us.

 

[pwrnJC]

So, you base your 'faith' and association with GOD on emotions and feelings? No wonder you are having a rough time trying to walk with JESUS CHRIST. So the people around you care less about JESUS...does that mean that JESUS did nothing for you or them? You have to have F.A.I.T.H....not a flimsy 'I just don't feel like GOD is there' attitude. I don't feel that Obama is doing anything for me, personally...so for the rest of his administration, must I sing the blues? It's called "GROWING in JESUS CHRIST" that you need. Nobody is going to give you happiness. Nobody is going to make your faith dig deep. It has to be all effort on your part, focusing on helping others and getting your mind off of SELF and wanting a pity party. Do you read the BIBLE? Do you ask the Holy spirit to intervene and help apply it to your life? Are you always seeking ways to reach out to others...I would also join a BIBLE acting and believing church, one that truely praises and worships JESUS openly. Real joy cannot be given to you except through CHRIST..it's up to you to choose happiness over your apparent depression. I can only encourage and pray..which is powerful stuff, indeed. The ball is in your court.

 

[Channa]

He Valentine,

To be fair, I recognize myself a bit in your story. Summercamps are amazing indeed! I always feel like I can be completely myself there, did you have that too? Anyway. You also said that you feel like God gave up on you and that summercamp this year wasn't as great as you hoped it would be. I'm sorry to hear that, but please.
God wouldn't Ever give up on you. As Ugly said, He made this whole universum. This world with the desert, the jungle and wild rivers. He made every star and He made you! He has a plan for you, since the beginning Valentine! He loves it when you do your thing here on earth. He loves it when you shine His Light through you. And, He loves you!
Are there other christian people of your age in your city, where you can be completely yourself? Where you can talk about God and about all other things? I really hope you do, but if you don't, please, search for them. They can help you further in the journey to God. You can praise God together, and hopefully you can get that summercampfeeling back.

Success!
Channa