So I thought a guy liked me. All the signs were there and I was told he did but I found out recently it was just a joke and it broke my heart so much and still makes me cry. I wanted a boyfriend pretty bad. I could almost taste that hollywood utopia of having a perfect guy, perfect teenage years... I feel so broken now. I didnt just lose him, I feel like I may have lost myself. I was humiliated. How do I get over this heartbreak and hurt? How do I get my self esteem and courage back? How do I find hope?
Hey, Christian!
First, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, there are some people out there that aren't as honest and don't take people's feelings into consideration. I know you really, really, really liked him and nothing else is worst when someone pretends to like you, and actually doesn't. I have been there and it was a very hard thing to go through since it was the first guy I started to strongly like back in high school. It really threw me off for years, thinking that all men were like that.
Second, you're loved. There's a great group of people on here and I'm sure there's a great group of people in your life. Surround yourself with people who love you when you don't even have to try to earn their approval. You just know that you're loved by them....be with those people. Be with the people that will accept you at your worst and at your best.
Thirdly, your self-esteem just doesn't happen overnight. Your heartbreak and hurt doesn't get better in just a few days. It's going to take time. During these times, it's extremely easy just to believe a lie (or lies) about yourself. A year and a half ago, I developed some pretty strong feelings for my best friend. It ended pretty poorly and I was left feeling really hurt near the end.
What helped me to deal with my hurts? Time. And Jesus. I know, that's a spiritual cliche answer, but when I went to God to tell him some of the deepest hurts, and the lies I felt (That I must not be good enough for any Christian guy), God told me I needed to combat those lies with truth. It is not at all factual, but just complete lies and insecurities.
I encourage you to do the same. Take the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6), which is the Bible, and speak truth. You know, you might feel that you're a mistake....combat that with Psalm 139. There's truth in the Word and there's power in your words.
Cry to God, go through the grieving process (in a healthy way). It's okay to feel "weak" during this time, but make sure you go to God during those weak moments. Allow him to comfort you.
Christian, regardless of how you feel about yourself after this, if it's anything negative, don't even waste your time on it. It's a complete lie and not truth at all. Believe the truths about you. But, you need to develop those truths about yourself, you need to start believing those truths. What good would it do if I told you that you're loved by God and you don't believe it? I mean, this is why it's so important to develop those truths. Say a truth about yourself daily....write it on a post it note, stick it somewhere where you can see.
Seek truth, seek Jesus.
You dont want to rush into having a boyfriend just to get hurt again. Put your mind on other things until the right person comes along. People can be mean,ignore them,it says nothing about you and everything about them. Wait for God to show you the right person and you'll be happy you did.
