Adult looking for teen advice

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Depleted

Guest
#1
#1
Pardon me for posting on here, but I need etiquette lessons, and couldn't think of anyone better to ask for help.

When is someone no longer "a kid?"

I distinctly remember being shocked when I was in my 20's and Dad told of a story that happened when I was 16 and my younger brother was 5. He ended it with, "And here I was all by myself with two kids in the house."

You probably understand why that was shocking. I looked back at 16-year-old-me with fresh eyes, because 16-year-old-me never conceived I was a kid still, but 20-something-year-old-me did. But that younger brother is still 11 years younger than I am, and he's still "my kid brother." Something weird there when an almost-50-year-old is still imagined as a kid.

So where's the question of etiquette? Do y'all have a concept of how old you have to be to no longer be considered a kid? Maybe it's not an age. Maybe it's something you have to do first. Mine was I was taking care of the house and the "kid brother" after school until Dad got home, so I was doing the duties of a woman -- not some kid. So I do get it could be something other than age.

And would you be insulted if a 60-year-old called you a kid? Dad thinks I'm still his kid, and I accept that gladly, so I'm just trying to learn from the experts what you think of the word "kid?"

Any help is appreciated, because it's been such a long time since I was a teen.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#2
#2
:D I'll go with my gut reaction and say that it very much depends.

It's ok to lump 15-17 year olds together and call them "high-school kids", or shout out "hey kids!" and it's ok to call children under 12 kids, but it's when you start lumping them together (as your dad did) that you run into trouble.

Also, it might depend on the maturity level of the person, but not the way you might suppose. Many very mature teenagers wouldn't mind being called "kid" by someone in their 60's, but if they're trying to assert themselves or if they have confidence issues, this might be a problem.

It can also be used very fondly "I kinda like that kid" or derogatory, "my kids are driving me crazy". When my older brother is getting ready to leave, he'll likely say "see ya later kids!" and I think nothing of it, but if he says it in a derogatory way I'll get annoyed.

And, as childish as we likely appear to adults at times, I don't know of ONE teenager who enjoys being called "child"; even if it is more derogatory to be called "kids" because, you know, that is actually a term for young goats :D

That's just my personal angle on the word. :)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#3
#3
Tinuviel said:
:D I'll go with my gut reaction and say that it very much depends.

It's ok to lump 15-17 year olds together and call them "high-school kids", or shout out "hey kids!" and it's ok to call children under 12 kids, but it's when you start lumping them together (as your dad did) that you run into trouble.

Also, it might depend on the maturity level of the person, but not the way you might suppose. Many very mature teenagers wouldn't mind being called "kid" by someone in their 60's, but if they're trying to assert themselves or if they have confidence issues, this might be a problem.

It can also be used very fondly "I kinda like that kid" or derogatory, "my kids are driving me crazy". When my older brother is getting ready to leave, he'll likely say "see ya later kids!" and I think nothing of it, but if he says it in a derogatory way I'll get annoyed.

And, as childish as we likely appear to adults at times, I don't know of ONE teenager who enjoys being called "child"; even if it is more derogatory to be called "kids" because, you know, that is actually a term for young goats :D

That's just my personal angle on the word. :)
Click to expand...
And back when my niece and nephew were children, I called them kids and she retorted, "I have no goats."
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#4
#4
Depleted said:
And back when my niece and nephew were children, I called them kids and she retorted, "I have no goats."
Click to expand...
And what can you say to that? :D
 
M

Miri

Guest
#5
#5
From one big teen to another, mind if I join in. Lol

I still consider myself to be a big kid, I don't know about you but
mentally I still feel the same as I did at 18, the body ages but inside
you don't feel any older. At least this is the case for me.

I may be a little wiser, a lot more stressed with life. Lol
But I am still often that insecure, shy, out of my depth 18 year old.

I know someone who is 86 and still does her own gardening, decorating,
walks to the town centre at times about 4 miles and generally has
more energy than me!

She says age is just a number.


Well back over to the teen experts.



88.gif
 
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coby2

Guest
#6
#6
I would never call a 12+ year old a kid. Those are teens. Maybe also because after that age I didn't really mature anymore.
My kids say when I play in the park or climb a tree: Mom is a 45 year old kid.
 
HoneyDew

HoneyDew

Senior Member
#7
Apr 30, 2011
2,308
352
83
#7
I'll be fifty in July and when I mentioned it to someone who was 57 she said, "oh you're still a baby." lol

As for the teens I think of them as kids.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#8
#8
coby2 said:
I would never call a 12+ year old a kid. Those are teens. Maybe also because after that age I didn't really mature anymore.
My kids say when I play in the park or climb a tree: Mom is a 45 year old kid.
Click to expand...
And what, may I ask, is wrong with being a 45 year old kid?
 
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Depleted

Guest
#9
#9
coby2 said:
I would never call a 12+ year old a kid. Those are teens. Maybe also because after that age I didn't really mature anymore.
My kids say when I play in the park or climb a tree: Mom is a 45 year old kid.
Click to expand...
Are your kids 12 or younger? lol

Actually the reason I asked was because "a kid" was in trouble, and I was working toward getting folks to back off because, well... he's a kid. Then I don't really know his age other than "young," so I was worried I might have insulted him by reminding others he's a kid.

And, all along, here you are -- 45 -- and... so, yeah, kid? Funny how after a certain age it's really nice to be considered a kid again. Sometimes people say things like, "Help this young lady first." And they're older than I am, so I beam. (And then wonder if they have any concept I'm no lady.)

Yet, I hate being called "a young lady" by someone younger than I am, because it feels so patronizing. I don't want to patronize.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#10
#10
HoneyDew said:
I'll be fifty in July and when I mentioned it to someone who was 57 she said, "oh you're still a baby." lol

As for the teens I think of them as kids.
Click to expand...
Don't worry. You're not a baby. You're a kid. lol
 
G

godsslife

Guest
#12
#12
Depleted said:
Pardon me for posting on here, but I need etiquette lessons, and couldn't think of anyone better to ask for help.

When is someone no longer "a kid?"

I distinctly remember being shocked when I was in my 20's and Dad told of a story that happened when I was 16 and my younger brother was 5. He ended it with, "And here I was all by myself with two kids in the house."

You probably understand why that was shocking. I looked back at 16-year-old-me with fresh eyes, because 16-year-old-me never conceived I was a kid still, but 20-something-year-old-me did. But that younger brother is still 11 years younger than I am, and he's still "my kid brother." Something weird there when an almost-50-year-old is still imagined as a kid.

So where's the question of etiquette? Do y'all have a concept of how old you have to be to no longer be considered a kid? Maybe it's not an age. Maybe it's something you have to do first. Mine was I was taking care of the house and the "kid brother" after school until Dad got home, so I was doing the duties of a woman -- not some kid. So I do get it could be something other than age.

And would you be insulted if a 60-year-old called you a kid? Dad thinks I'm still his kid, and I accept that gladly, so I'm just trying to learn from the experts what you think of the word "kid?"

Any help is appreciated, because it's been such a long time since I was a teen.
Click to expand...
i hate the word kid in general lol i dont know it makes it sound like a thing or it like a object instead of a person LOL .. i guess i dont like being called kid at all .. i dont even like saying ''kids' in a sentence' .. i prefer children or saying youngin
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#13
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#13
well I can tell ya my brother is 26 and my mom still calls him boy, im 16 and the ''little one'' but id say depending on the mentality or maturity between 12-15 starts where you can say ok not a kid anymore
 
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Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
godsslife said:
i hate the word kid in general lol i dont know it makes it sound like a thing or it like a object instead of a person LOL .. i guess i dont like being called kid at all .. i dont even like saying ''kids' in a sentence' .. i prefer children or saying youngin
Click to expand...
When I was a 10th grader, there were no kids in school. When I was a 12th grader, the 10th graders were kids. And then when I went to college, I suddenly became a kid again. There as a high school right across the street from the college and I could tell those guys from the college guys instantly, and they were all kids. Now I can't. Now I have trouble telling the difference between a 15 year old and a 25 year old, other than distinctly remembering I used to be able to tell and it was important for some reason.

I think that important reason was thinking I'm not a kid after 12 years old. Now that I hear Dad calling my oldest brother a boy? It's funny it stopped mattering somewhere along the way. But I know it so mattered back then. And apparently it mattered to my SIL about her children.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#15
#15
Demi777 said:
well I can tell ya my brother is 26 and my mom still calls him boy, im 16 and the ''little one'' but id say depending on the mentality or maturity between 12-15 starts where you can say ok not a kid anymore
Click to expand...
I was "the little one" for 11 years, and then "the little one" came along. I started being "the little one" again when he passed me in size. And then I passed him in weight, so that phrase got dropped until Dad remarried and had a couple more "little ones." My sister, by default, won the title, but no one uses it anymore. She's 34 now. Our youngest brother is in his late 20's. She's the only one anyone can conceive to be "little," and since she's a fraction of an inch shorter than I am, (we're both 5' 9", so neither short nor tall), well, it just no longer works.

I hated the title when I had it, but wish someone got it now, since it's only an age thing. (Who's the youngest?) Fortunately, with three brothers and two sister protecting him since birth, the youngest never got stuck with -y/-ie at the end of his name. It's too hard to drop that Lynnie when you're working hard at no one considering you a kid anymore. And none of us will ever call the younger ones "the baby in the family," unless it's all six of us in a room and we're "kidding" around. Oldest brother wins that though. He can call all of us the baby. lol

One of the advantages of coming from a family of six kids but it took close to 30 years before all six of us were around -- only the youngest doesn't remember being "the oldest" for a while. I was the youngest for close to 11 years, and the oldest for two.
 
K

Kendall

Guest
#16
#16
I'm an only child, and I think that whenever you honestly don't consider yourself a kid, then you mentally aren't one. For me, that happened this year (15). I definitely don't think of myself as an adult, but I don't consider myself a kid either. It just depends on the maturity of the youngster in question.
 
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