My family are pushing me too hard

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Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#1
May 21, 2016
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#1
My family, and especially my Mum and my sister, are giving me a really hard time.

I sort of messed up a few months ago, did some really stupid things which could have been really serious, and my Mum just freaked out.

So now I have changed schools (all girls, no boys) and we are all going to church every week and I am taking extra classes and bible study. I mean Mum and my sis always have, and I did when I was younger, but this is a new church and I don't really get a choice right now.

They have changed everything about me. My friends, my clothes, everything. I mean, I joined her cos it is just about the only place I am allowed to come online because our Pastor recommended it.

I'm sorry for what I did and I have learned from it, and I deserved some punishment, but this is too much, don't you think?
 
levi85

levi85

Senior Member
#2
Jul 2, 2013
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#2
"Behold old things are passed away, now you are a new creature"

you can ask forgiveness to God and parents, praying God will hold your hand and guide you, and there will be no repetition of the stupid things. Yeah be open and accept the new things, and enjoy

our prayers and good wishes for you. Jesus love you!
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#3
I don't really see it as punishment, but rather, getting you away from the bad influences that caused you to mess up in the first place. You go to an all-girls school, so what? No big deal there. :) If your friends were the cause of your mess up, then they weren't truly your friends. Again, not a big deal, especially if the friends you have now are better than the friends you had before. I'm assuming you wear a uniform at school? Look at it this way, at least you HAVE clothes to wear.. It's not gonna kill you to have to wear a uniform at school. :) In my high school, the girls had to wear dresses or skirts, no pants unless we were in phys ed..
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#4
May 21, 2016
176
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#4
Yes I wear a uniform, and its gross. And yes my Mum blames my old friends. I am making new ones slowly.
 
W

walkinwithjesus1988uk

Banned
#5
Mar 20, 2015
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Hi Fran,

We all mess up and speaking as an older guy I can say it is difficult for us to stand back when we see the ones we love struggle or go down a path that we can't protect you from any of the negative stuff. We can completely stuff it up ourselves but we only do it in the intention to protect you. Punishment is never what we need to do. We need to deal with Grace and allow you the time to learn. I personally am proud of you for trying to change. It is good to move away from the bad influences and to be allowed the time to build yourself in Christ. I can understand where you are coming from and people do go overboard especially with young ones. I can speak from both sides and I understand your feelings and also how your mum and sister are feeling too.

God bless,

Craig
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#6
Fran123 said:
Yes I wear a uniform, and its gross. And yes my Mum blames my old friends. I am making new ones slowly.
Click to expand...
This of this as a caterpillar becoming a beautiful butterfly. You've come out of the darkness of bad circumstances, into being turned into something much better. :) Try to view this as a lesson and not a punishment.
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#7
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
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#7
Fran123 said:
Yes I wear a uniform, and its gross. And yes my Mum blames my old friends. I am making new ones slowly.
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Same thing happened to me when i was growing up - when i graduated college all my old friends were either on drugs or in jail ---- They are just being parents ----
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#8
May 21, 2016
176
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#8
I didn't do anything that I could go to jail for. But I see what you mean.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#9
Oct 13, 2014
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#9
Ephesians 6:4 says
And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Your family is doing the right opposite of what they are supposed to do in the Lord in the first place. Theyre forcing and frustrating you and causing more damage by their way of discipline
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#10
May 21, 2016
176
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#10
Demi777 said:
Ephesians 6:4 says
And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Your family is doing the right opposite of what they are supposed to do in the Lord in the first place. Theyre forcing and frustrating you and causing more damage by their way of discipline
Click to expand...
You are the first person to get how I feel!
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#11
Oct 13, 2014
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#11
Fran123 said:
You are the first person to get how I feel!
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Well by your Post I get the feeling that your sis and mom hardened heir heart and are trying to put you into a box and try to shape you the way THEY want to. But the thing is that they should rather focus on God and what he wants for you. And you have to be able to envolve yourself in character and all which they are not letting you.
God made us unique and HE makes us the way he wants us when we let him. I am sure that You family are good people but they are enslaved by self righteousness and a legalistic view.
God wants us to be us. He loves us the way we are and he send his son to set us free of chains..not that others put em back on.
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#12
May 21, 2016
176
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#12
Mum just decided that my life was going wrong and changed it. And my sis thinks she knows best about everything.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#13
Oct 13, 2014
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#13
They seem to think their way or none. If you feel that your sis and mom are open (which i dont know) you should tell them how you feel about this. I dont know the UK law but here when your 14 you can choose what church and so you go to.
best way to start is communicating and praying. If number one doesnt work go on praying for them to get a revelation of God and to start seeing what harm they are doing. Fasting is a good thing you can do aswell.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#14
Oct 13, 2014
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#14
You definately need someone to talk to so it doesnt build up as resentment.
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#15
May 21, 2016
176
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#15
How would fasting help?
And I don't get to choose anything.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#16
Oct 13, 2014
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#16
Fran123 said:
How would fasting help?
And I don't get to choose anything.
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Praying is like a phone all to heaven and fasting is a telegram lol.
It would press the issue to God and its humbling.
If they incage you you have to step up for your rights sis. But not in a disrespectful way. The UK law says that one a child has enough understanding and can make up their own mind of religion you ca choose it for yourself.
Which means that if it would become to hard and controlling you could step out of bible study and church and go your own way and that could go on and on and end in court.
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#17
May 21, 2016
176
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#17
I don't want to take my family to court!
 
Fran123

Fran123

Senior Member
#19
May 21, 2016
176
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#19
Oh I do. Sorry. It just sort of freaked me out.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#20
Jul 23, 2013
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#20
Very difficult to make any sort of judgement on this situation without first hearing what your mother and sis has to say. In any case, all parties need to be heard first. And honestly, I wouldn't just so easily trust a teenager to fully tell me the truth without any exaggeration about their parents (especially when it comes to discipline lol) I know, I was once a teenager. Not having a dig at you or anything but that's how I see a lot of cases when people come online with issues that involves other people hehe
 
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