on teens

[mar09]

Was not sure whether to make a kind of poll or something, but I am basically interested in asking what teens do and not do (and why, now and before) so I guess all ages are welcome to reply. Thot it better to post here too instead of in the Family forum. I really want to know bec. I think ive missed a part of my teen yrs somehow and simply want to see and understand how to cope w/ young people better. For ex., many/most teen rooms are messy, we're told, and when u try to talk abt that w/ others, they mostly say Ive heard that before, or Sounds familiar and ur not alone in wondering how to get teens to work on their room...
This is not meant to be a thread to say this or that is better... simply to know how teens and others deal w/ or respond to parents' expectations and their own too, how ur training and exposure is affecting how u deal with personal issues and everyday stuff (looks and pimples, diets--meaning daily meals, chores, monthly period, allowances, etc.). I really appreciate hearing, and thanks in advance.

 

[Demi777]

Well when my mom wants me to do something or just talks and talks the same thing over and over again I just say.. Yes mom.. I agree..your soo right. I do what she asks me..sometimes a few hrs later but I do it..mostly. when she talks she feels appreciated when I give her the answers like yea mom, she feel appreciated and understood and I mostly remember enough to talk with her about it if she really wants me input or so.
Appliances.. its not really a problem for me as I cannot play games on my phone or so. When I go to church i sometimes bring my tablet ( I have a bible app on that and games hehe) and use that on the train trip and stuff (yea I acturly spend most of my pocketmoney on the train tickets to get to church and food)
Diet. well my morning starts off with either a smoothie ( usualy avocado with bananas/mango/... and barries) if i dont have that I go over to natural jogurt with honey and fruits, and sometimes I just do a 3 egg omlet with paprika, zucchini ,.. things like that
throughout the day i usually workout cardio and stuff mainly.
allowances arent a problem for me as I am mainly home and if I go out I go out but I am usually home much earlier than I am allowed to stay home (by german law im allowed to go out till 10pm)
period is just a pain and I just deal with it as it comes I guess lol pain killers, workout, veggies veggies and more veggies, and resting.
pimples and appearance..uhm yea I usually keep up a routine if cleaning me face at least once a day with beauty stuff..foam,tonic,cream...
drink a lot of water... yea thats my life lol
I dont have a lot of friends around my age so I dont really get to do a lot of fun stuff as most things are only fun with friends around. I kind of keep myself back when it comes to people around my age as most of them are not christian.
One of em just the other day ended up in the hospital because of alcohol poisoning and drug overdose

 

[mar09]

Thanks, demi, for finding time for that. I know a man, a father now, who also answered like u did, saying 'Yes, mother' in a funny tone of voice when he found her talking a bit more than usual, or appearing tired already.

On gadgets/appliances, i suppose not that many of those who really use theirs have that much time for cc either, because they prefer their games or other online network to this?? No, of course there are many there reasons.

Do u personally cook? OR do u just have ur occasional schedule at home? I really admire young ppl who learned more from their chemistry class, to use principles in cooking to-). Or they/u are just fond of eating and cooking, and the 2 go together, an uncle said who liked both and was a chef before he passed away.

I know teens who still dislike to brush their teeth regularly! They seem to have healthy teeth tho, and did not experience my cavities and hurting teeth as a gradeschooler... by the time i was in high school, i dared not miss a tooth needing a filling, or a prophylaxis when needed.. Guess i have to come back to ur reply. This is not a good time to be posting.

 

[Demi777]

Thanks, demi, for finding time for that. I know a man, a father now, who also answered like u did, saying 'Yes, mother' in a funny tone of voice when he found her talking a bit more than usual, or appearing tired already.

On gadgets/appliances, i suppose not that many of those who really use theirs have that much time for cc either, because they prefer their games or other online network to this?? No, of course there are many there reasons.

Do u personally cook? OR do u just have ur occasional schedule at home? I really admire young ppl who learned more from their chemistry class, to use principles in cooking to-). Or they/u are just fond of eating and cooking, and the 2 go together, an uncle said who liked both and was a chef before he passed away.

I know teens who still dislike to brush their teeth regularly! They seem to have healthy teeth tho, and did not experience my cavities and hurting teeth as a gradeschooler... by the time i was in high school, i dared not miss a tooth needing a filling, or a prophylaxis when needed.. Guess i have to come back to ur reply. This is not a good time to be posting.

I love cooking and baking I do both mainly. Well I am mainly on CC as I am not much of a gamer. most of the time I have CC and music playing while I am doing homework and stuff.

 

[GilaSemut]

Hey Mar09. From my experience and knowledge of teenager development and experiences, there are many factors, theories, and circumstances that are involved here. I want to start off and say that statistics say that a messy room is a sign of intelligence teenager's go through so much stress. Hormones and social ladders are directly involved in why they do everything. Parents have a hard time being a part of their social "clique" because they are experimenting and discovering who they are, and parents can be boring to them lol. But when they grow up and mature, they will see their parents in a new light . Now with pimples, growth spurts, and personal embarrassing puberty episodes - how they react to each of these depends on their resilience, education, social support structure, and personal self esteem. Every teenager is different, and it's a Rollercoaster of emotions, good and bad. So when dealing with teenagers, we must keep all of this in mind in order to come out positive and welcoming. When you deal with them, try to relate to them and earn positive currency with them. Every opportunity that you can find out their interests and passions, engage with them and show you how you care. But, most teenager's want alone time, so don't push it or you will get rejected. Hormones everywhere! That is why you need the positive currency, so you can spend it all in order to gain respect and have the ability to talk to then about something negative or embarrassing. I hope this helps! If you have any more questions or concerns I am always here for clarification.

 

[mochi]

I'm not a teenagers but i'll try to comment
when i was a teenage i have a clean room and i do my own laundry as well.. i want a clean room so i can focus on my study..
I was a bookworm back then.. all my focus always study and study..
I also like to have extra curricular like badminton on weekend..
with allowance, i always try to save some.. i like to buy music thing back then and it help me focus at study (now i spend it more into soaping and baking stuff)..
my parents had no much complain at me back then because i do what they want

 

[mar09]

I'm not a teenagers but i'll try to comment
when i was a teenage i have a clean room and i do my own laundry as well.. i want a clean room so i can focus on my study..
I was a bookworm back then.. all my focus always study and study..
I also like to have extra curricular like badminton on weekend..
with allowance, i always try to save some.. i like to buy music thing back then and it help me focus at study (now i spend it more into soaping and baking stuff)..
my parents had no much complain at me back then because i do what they want

Nice to hear from u. I didnt think u have a sibling, do u? At least no one will mess what u have cleaned up, like i hear others say! Yes, it is good to have responsibilities, and a bit of sports too. We can do some badminton yesterday=).
I will try to get back, ok.

 

[mar09]

Hey Mar09. From my experience and knowledge of teenager development and experiences, there are many factors, theories, and circumstances that are involved here. I want to start off and say that statistics say that a messy room is a sign of intelligence teenager's go through so much stress. Hormones and social ladders are directly involved in why they do everything. Parents have a hard time being a part of their social "clique" because they are experimenting and discovering who they are, and parents can be boring to them lol. But when they grow up and mature, they will see their parents in a new light . Now with pimples, growth spurts, and personal embarrassing puberty episodes - how they react to each of these depends on their resilience, education, social support structure, and personal self esteem. Every teenager is different, and it's a Rollercoaster of emotions, good and bad. So when dealing with teenagers, we must keep all of this in mind in order to come out positive and welcoming. When you deal with them, try to relate to them and earn positive currency with them. Every opportunity that you can find out their interests and passions, engage with them and show you how you care. But, most teenager's want alone time, so don't push it or you will get rejected. Hormones everywhere! That is why you need the positive currency, so you can spend it all in order to gain respect and have the ability to talk to then about something negative or embarrassing. I hope this helps! If you have any more questions or concerns I am always here for clarification.

Hi gila, i knew there was a thread something on this a while ago, and i tried to retrieve it to catch up reading what i did only a few pp at the time. Anyway, here it is-- i am still reading-- and wc i believe does have answers i could dwell on.
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/131507-what-were-you-like-high-school.html

Thank u, and as i said really appreciate the response. Give me time to read again on the cited thread. Sure there are many factors, theories etc., but that messy rooms are bec. they are intelligent-- i didnt know abt that! I didnt know my father as a teen (i mean he as a teen..then i see we were apart part of the time when i was one too-), but as a father he was very organized and systematic, but i would say also intelligent. I cannot imagine him having had a messy room however.

 

[mochi]

Nice to hear from u. I didnt think u have a sibling, do u? At least no one will mess what u have cleaned up, like i hear others say! Yes, it is good to have responsibilities, and a bit of sports too. We can do some badminton yesterday=).
I will try to get back, ok.

Lol.. i have little bro and (ahem) i worried i will say the same like you heard from others my bro not that organized.. hehehe
Do you like to play badminton as well?? thats cool!! been long time since i played it..

messy rooms are bec. they are intelligent-- i didnt know abt that!

This!!! i didnt know about this as well!!
messy room - smart
neat room - not that smart??
i need to send flying dagger to that person who found this theories!! lol kidding
but this is interesting

 

[TemporaryCircumstances]

Was not sure whether to make a kind of poll or something, but I am basically interested in asking what teens do and not do (and why, now and before) so I guess all ages are welcome to reply. Thot it better to post here too instead of in the Family forum. I really want to know bec. I think ive missed a part of my teen yrs somehow and simply want to see and understand how to cope w/ young people better. For ex., many/most teen rooms are messy, we're told, and when u try to talk abt that w/ others, they mostly say Ive heard that before, or Sounds familiar and ur not alone in wondering how to get teens to work on their room...
This is not meant to be a thread to say this or that is better... simply to know how teens and others deal w/ or respond to parents' expectations and their own too, how ur training and exposure is affecting how u deal with personal issues and everyday stuff (looks and pimples, diets--meaning daily meals, chores, monthly period, allowances, etc.). I really appreciate hearing, and thanks in advance.

Well, I have been told I am not a "normal" teen. I've had to grow up a bit fast.
But, I am actually not messy. I am very organized (it drives me nuts if I'm not)
I am very much into freely studying and reading. I am currently studying more into Christianity and Judiasm. I have found that my parents expectations are a bit unreasonable but I try to reach them as well as I can to make them proud.
How I deal with personal issues is...well...I don't. I push them aside until one night they all come out and I cry and pray to the HEAVENLY FATHER for strength to carry on and I trust that He has a bigger better plan.
For looks; Well, I've accepted that I'm not the prettiest young lady, but I am working on self esteem so I will look at myself every morning and remind myself that "I am child of God and a child of light, made in the image of one Higher and more superior who never makes a single mistake."
Diets: I have had anorexia. I stopped that after my father figure said that if I didn't eat he wouldn't take his heart meds sooo, I still constantly worry about my weight tho.
Chores: I am glad I have chores. I do not feel I am appreciated and go unnoticed for how much I do tho. I do not get an allowance. I have a job to get money.
Periods suck a lot, but I mean it doesn't take long to get used to it. I do get REALLY bad cramps tho. There comes a point when u realize there is nothing u can do other than meds.

I hope this helps

 

[mar09]

Lol.. i have little bro and (ahem) i worried i will say the same like you heard from others my bro not that organized.. hehehe
Do you like to play badminton as well?? thats cool!! been long time since i played it..


This!!! i didnt know about this as well!!
messy room - smart
neat room - not that smart??
i need to send flying dagger to that person who found this theories!! lol kidding
but this is interesting

I knew there wre talks i had to come back to. Sorry i could not return to this thread. Yes, played racquet games, but one of the least sporty in the family. I really miss this. I mean, badminton isnt as demanding as tennis, where u need a court, and more strength, time, even attire! We'd do badminton as kids on the road in front of our haus... u can carry the equipment to a park, etc unlike where u need a court or even a (pingpong) table to play on for the other sports.

Then i am like ur brother-). So different from my parents, both so organized.

 

[mar09]

Well, I have been told I am not a "normal" teen. I've had to grow up a bit fast.
But, I am actually not messy. I am very organized (it drives me nuts if I'm not)
I am very much into freely studying and reading. I am currently studying more into Christianity and Judiasm. I have found that my parents expectations are a bit unreasonable but I try to reach them as well as I can to make them proud.
How I deal with personal issues is...well...I don't. I push them aside until one night they all come out and I cry and pray to the HEAVENLY FATHER for strength to carry on and I trust that He has a bigger better plan.
For looks; Well, I've accepted that I'm not the prettiest young lady, but I am working on self esteem so I will look at myself every morning and remind myself that "I am child of God and a child of light, made in the image of one Higher and more superior who never makes a single mistake."
Diets: I have had anorexia. I stopped that after my father figure said that if I didn't eat he wouldn't take his heart meds sooo, I still constantly worry about my weight tho.
Chores: I am glad I have chores. I do not feel I am appreciated and go unnoticed for how much I do tho. I do not get an allowance. I have a job to get money.
Periods suck a lot, but I mean it doesn't take long to get used to it. I do get REALLY bad cramps tho. There comes a point when u realize there is nothing u can do other than meds.

I hope this helps

Thank u for sharing. I knew there was something i started and had to get back, but i still get lost on cc.
A sister once said she had so much work at work, and i know what a workaholic she is too, but do not always get thanked for or noticed. I think u will be prepared in time if anything like that comes in future-). But u work now-- so young?! What do u do, if u dont mind saying.

 

[TemporaryCircumstances]

Just violin lessons haha. Nothing too hard.

Thank you for replying I know it's easy to get lost haha

 

[Fran123]

I get the unreasonable parental expectations thing.

 

[mochi]

I get the unreasonable parental expectations thing.

My parents have lot of expectations for me as well.. especially mom.. so much controlling, protective and demanding limited my friends, job, and many more you can think of... and i still have difficult time because of it.. but then its just their way to show how they care and love us.. even their way sometimes its wrong in our eyes..

One thing that i know.. God told us to respect our parents
and have faith that things will get better.. we have God He can change our situation and our parent's heart in instant..
be happy because we still have parents that care of us and protect us.. because there will be time where they're not there for us

Many times i feel angry and upset and stress because of it.. and sometimes i feel jealous to my friend's parents as well.. but its the time i come to God and pray.. He know the best for me.. and He always there to comfort me

 

[mochi]

I knew there wre talks i had to come back to. Sorry i could not return to this thread. Yes, played racquet games, but one of the least sporty in the family. I really miss this. I mean, badminton isnt as demanding as tennis, where u need a court, and more strength, time, even attire! We'd do badminton as kids on the road in front of our haus... u can carry the equipment to a park, etc unlike where u need a court or even a (pingpong) table to play on for the other sports.

Then i am like ur brother-). So different from my parents, both so organized.

Its ok mar
i cant play tennis.. hehehe.. the ball is hard and i dont want to get hit by it.. lol..
and pingpong!!! how i wish i can play it!!! i cant control the ball! its difficult.. lol
anyways, hope you have a good day

 

[mar09]

Its ok mar
i cant play tennis.. hehehe.. the ball is hard and i dont want to get hit by it.. lol..
and pingpong!!! how i wish i can play it!!! i cant control the ball! its difficult.. lol
anyways, hope you have a good day

Ok, just search for racquet and i;ll bring the shuttlecock. But i wonder how it can be done across islands... We really need our exercise. Back beginning to ache-(

 

[mar09]

Hi mochi, still not found racquet? Then i'll bring 2.

 

[abru]

Hi mar09,

Parental expectations: I usually say yes to whatever my mother asks me, almost like direct military orders I should obey. On rare occassions I ask her to reconsider her request if I deem it it unneccesary or wrong, but most of the time, she is reasonable.I do what she asks because it will make her happy. I had a small room which was never messy; my closet though was sometimes disorganized.. I learned to make my bed in a weird way that makes it neat for up to a week. I slide in and slide out. I was critical of how my room looked, I had a well maintained small shelf topped with aircraft models ( I collect them) and other decorations. As for looks, I don't really mind. I dislike applying facial and hair products and stuff like that, the natural soap and water gives me a clear face, thus no pimples. I have a fairly poor apetite if I stay home all day, I eat when I am hungry and can sometimes delay meals due to my apetite, but I will eventually eat well, and also eat well if I got school or outdoor work. Chores: I personally hate doing the laundry but I do dishes, rarely cook or try to cook and I took care of our pet dog. I am particularly stingy, I saved my allowances and did not really feel compelled to spend them on outside stuff...

 

[mar09]

Thanks, ab. I'll get back when theres more time.