What should I do about him?

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CaseyH

Guest
#1
#1
Ok so me and my now ex-boyfriend dated for 4 years. I broke up with him because he was a bit harsh and wanted sex. We didn't get to see each other much and I know that was hard on the relationship. I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated high school and my parents did not like him or his family at all and forbid me to see him. I knew I would soon be graduating High school this past June and I was scared of my parents finding out everything and told him it was over. So I went behind their back to see him. I asked him the other day if we had sex if he would want to get back together and he said yes. I didn't respond until the next morning basically telling him I would be praying for him and that he should really wait till marriage and that I wanted a relationship based on God not sex. I told God that I was all His now and that I didn't need a man to fall in love with and that I wanted to fall in love with Him(Jesus). So should I completely leave him? Stop being friends and everything? Where I am going to college he lived 5 minutes from so we will see each other more. I have been trying to talk to him about God and salvation and he said he don't know if he believes the Gospel or not. He like myself grew up in a Christian home, but his family quit going to church about a year ago according to him. I do still have feelings for him and care about him but I don't know what to do . I know that some people you can't change and I just pray for him.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
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Tennessee
#2
Continue to pray for him but under no circumstances give in to him. If you do you will certainly regret it. At this moment I would focus on your education and your spiritual walk with the Lord. Welcome to CC.
 
BruceWayne

BruceWayne

Senior Member
#4
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
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Gotham City
#4
Your family was probably right. Do you want to be with someone or even around someone who is willing to compromise your values? Sometimes you just have to go your own way. I know that's not easy to do when you care about them, but you gotta do what's best for you.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#5
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#5
You do realize, don't you, that if you keep messing around, you will eventually be sleeping with him? I guess it's time to make up your mind.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#6
First of all, you're ALREADY broken up with him. So it doesn't make sense for you to say "should I completely leave him". There is a reason why you broke up with him, and if the ONLY reason he'd get back together is for sex, then that should tell you what kind of morals he has. Smarten up and leave him alone.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#7
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
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Germany
#7
Girl you gotta stop playing around or ya might just end up raped. Either you wanna and will sleep with him or not. A dude who cant wait till marriage and doesnt respect your body and values enough isnt worth it. Appearance will fades with time. If you give in he will sometime get tired of you and dump you and your gonna feel bad and whine. Stop messing with him. Who is more important God who loves you always and will provide a good husband for you or a dude who only wants your body for a while?
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#8
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#8
Raped or even worse, pregnant. There's already enough "oops" babies in the world. :/
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#9
#9
you should not do anything about him

but you should do something for yourself

look in the mirror and tell yourself your entire life is before you

ask yourself how many he has had sex with it while you were off in dreamland wondering if you should or you should not

you will experience feelings for him after sex that will cause your life to be utterly derailed and he will move on

but you know, you prob won't listen anyway and don't really need any advice

you would like permission to fornicate since your parents won't give it to you

and please don't anyone tell me I am unloving
 
NateDaGrimes

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
#10
Jan 7, 2013
445
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#10
blue_ladybug said:
Raped or even worse, pregnant. There's already enough "oops" babies in the world. :/
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I take offense to that :c

not really, but does make a good joke scenario. (I am offensive and I find this baby)

On the serious note, why would you bother loving a kid like that anyway? A man is no man until he drops his childish acts and learn how to respect a woman.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#11
#11
This man doesn't want a relationship, he wants sex. If that's what you want, go ahead. But from your post it sounds like you want more than that. You need to leave this person. You're a human being, made in the image of God, and you deserve more respect than this "friend" is giving you. Break off contact with him, before you wake up one morning maybe a few months from now realizing that you're a single mom who has just been jilted by her boyfriend.
 
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CaseyH

Guest
#12
#12
I would never have sex with him. I just worry about him because I want him to come to God.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#13
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#13
CaseyH said:
I would never have sex with him. I just worry about him because I want him to come to God.
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Then turn him over to God. Let God worry about him, and you just worry about YOU. :)
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#15
#15
CaseyH said:
I would never have sex with him. I just worry about him because I want him to come to God.
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I know what you mean. When you try to stay together with someone you love just to bring them to God, it is called "missionary dating" and it never works. Relationships on...anything (not even necessarily romantic) are meant to stand two strong. If one of you is strong and the other is weak, the strong one in a moment of weakness will succumb, because there is no strength in the other person to fall back on.
 
SS4_Goku

SS4_Goku

Junior Member
#16
May 14, 2002
7
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#16
Honestly........................ still pray for him and all but from what your saying he does not "love" you he does not respect you if he is like that. All he cares about is one thing and one thing only and as soon as you give in and he gets what he wants his "feelings" for you will change and then he will become bored with you and will want to move on leaving you heart broken and leaving you behind to pursue his own self interest's. now that your in college that will be waaaay more important because that is gunna shape your future do not let him define your future. growing up i had alot of people i considered friends and i as i got older alot of them i have not seen or talk to in years because of how they became. I am a survivor of a failed marriage because i was also in a rush to do what i wanted and she was just using me for a house, car, money. I was sole provider for 7 years because she did not want to work she wanted to stay at home and spend the money that was earned i let her define my future in 2007 but in 2015 when our divorce was final i would not let her define my future from then on out nor will i let her define our son's future. if cutting ties is what it takes now then do it, wont be easy yes because he will keep coming around for a while dropping lines to get to your heart, but stand your ground when you say no and keep to yourself do not give him any info because from what i read what you typed cutting ties and moving on without him is your best bet.
 
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CaseyH

Guest
#18
#18
Thank you. It's jut hard I guess because i don't have any other friends. I've never been good at that. Always been the quiet type that goes unseen. I will pray and ask God to help me with breaking the ties with him.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#19
#19
CaseyH said:
Thank you. It's jut hard I guess because i don't have any other friends. I've never been good at that. Always been the quiet type that goes unseen. I will pray and ask God to help me with breaking the ties with him.
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That is a really hard situation. I've been that quiet one before. I'd love to be a CC friend for you :)
 
SS4_Goku

SS4_Goku

Junior Member
#20
May 14, 2002
7
2
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#20
ive made many friends in cc over the years, yes its hard to take someone outta your life who you have a history with but in the long run you will be glad you did it
 
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