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Thread: Kinda new here…need some advice

  1. #141
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    i am not neccessarily a child!! by the age of 12 a girl is biologically becoming a lady! yes, i am in my parents supervision and they have the right to know what im doing. people these days can be sooo JUDGEMENTAL! dont you understand im trying to figure out how i could tell my parents. they'll kill me! no one wants that. its not about being IMMATURE!!!
    I agree, by 15 a girl can be a woman. I knew a girl who was married when she was 16 years old. But with a post like that you just cut your own throat with having people see you as mature. I agree, it is not about being immature; as a teen who grew up too fast and have always been "mature" for my age, I feel the frustration of being put into that box. BUT, this is also not about biology. Marriage is a lot more than that . So, show 'em your mature! You'll be able to show far more effectively than you can tell.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    You were told in an earlier post how to introduce the subject to them. Just say there's something you need to tell them, that you think they would want to know. Your parents will NOT "kill you". What would kill THEM however, is if something happens to you, and they couldn't help because they didn't know. I'm being practical, not judgemental. If you want their support, tell them. They were your age once too. And having a period doesn't necessarily mean you're becoming a lady. It just means that your body is maturing faster than your mind is.. And I never said that you're immature, I said that you need to be RESPONSIBLE.


    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    i am not neccessarily a child!! by the age of 12 a girl is biologically becoming a lady! yes, i am in my parents supervision and they have the right to know what im doing. people these days can be sooo JUDGEMENTAL! dont you understand im trying to figure out how i could tell my parents. they'll kill me! no one wants that. its not about being IMMATURE!!!





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    Senior Member NoNameMcgee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by FranC View Post
    A 15 year old girl dating a 19 year old guy is not a girl dating a man.

    4 or 5 years is the exact amount of years there should be between a gal and a guy.

    Girls mature faster than boys.
    A 15 year old is a child to a 15 year old girl.

    in my life ive seen 0 evidence of this

    if we go based off words, actions and accomplishments

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinuviel View Post
    I agree, by 15 a girl can be a woman. I knew a girl who was married when she was 16 years old. But with a post like that you just cut your own throat with having people see you as mature. I agree, it is not about being immature; as a teen who grew up too fast and have always been "mature" for my age, I feel the frustration of being put into that box. BUT, this is also not about biology. Marriage is a lot more than that . So, show 'em your mature! You'll be able to show far more effectively than you can tell.
    exactly! if you know dr. Ben Carson, the famous brain neurosurgern and part of president Donald Trump's cabinet…his mum married at age 13! this is no excuse that you should marry that young but probably carson's mum was mature for that. another example is that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was around 14 yrs when she bore Him. so…thats just a few examples of maturity in different cases.
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by NoNameMcgee View Post
    in my life ive seen 0 evidence of this

    if we go based off words, actions and accomplishments
    Don't speak so fast !
    You know me don't you?
    I met my husband when I was 16.
    Got married when I was 18.
    We've had a great marriage and relationship.
    No problems to speak of.

    So, now you know someone!
    Oh. And he's 5 years older than I am.

    I NEVER would have dated anyone my own age.
    Anyway, I didn't really "date" anyone.

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    Senior Member NoNameMcgee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by FranC View Post
    Don't speak so fast !
    You know me don't you?
    I met my husband when I was 16.
    Got married when I was 18.
    We've had a great marriage and relationship.
    No problems to speak of.

    So, now you know someone!
    Oh. And he's 5 years older than I am.

    I NEVER would have dated anyone my own age.
    Anyway, I didn't really "date" anyone.

    your 1 example of you saying you were mature is countered with me saying i took care of myself at 14
    plus
    i have never seen you


    if you wanna go back and forth i can start listing the examples in my life


    we will also have to come to an understanding on what we are both saying when we say "mature"


    but we may have to agree to disagree

    because even if you listed 100 examples with proof
    of women being "mature" (depending on what you mean by mature)

    i can very simply and honestly list 100 immature women at any age

    or 100 mature men of the equal ages you list


    this is a subjective arguement over a statement you made that isnt a fact....

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by FranC View Post
    Don't speak so fast !
    You know me don't you?
    I met my husband when I was 16.
    Got married when I was 18.
    We've had a great marriage and relationship.
    No problems to speak of.

    So, now you know someone!
    Oh. And he's 5 years older than I am.

    I NEVER would have dated anyone my own age.
    Anyway, I didn't really "date" anyone.
    me neither! its just so awkward. i agree, at least having 3-5 yrs differnce in age is okay and good
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    Senior Member NoNameMcgee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by NoNameMcgee View Post
    your 1 example of you saying you were mature is countered with me saying i took care of myself at 14
    plus
    i have never seen you


    if you wanna go back and forth i can start listing the examples in my life


    we will also have to come to an understanding on what we are both saying when we say "mature"


    but we may have to agree to disagree

    because even if you listed 100 examples with proof
    of women being "mature" (depending on what you mean by mature)

    i can very simply and honestly list 100 immature women at any age

    or 100 mature men of the equal ages you list


    this is a subjective arguement over a statement you made that isnt a fact....
    ive seen 0 evidence of THIS statement

    :Girls mature faster than boys.
    A 15 year old is a child to a 15 year old girl:


    not that either CAN be mature

    just that girls mature faster
    lol

    im not even saying its the other way around

    im saying what you said isnt fact


    also i HAVE seen evidence to the opposite

    but it doesnt matter

    because its still subjective

    we are all individuals

    and have our own experiences

    so just because 90% of the time i see examples of it being equal

    or the opposite

    doesnt mean the lets say i dunno .... 20000 people i met

    is the standard

    and even if there was a "standard"

    how this is decided on is what matters


    and even still... there will be exceptions


    i still have seen 0 evidence of what you said being true


    not proof... but even evidence
    Magenta likes this.

  9. #149
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    exactly! if you know dr. Ben Carson, the famous brain neurosurgern and part of president Donald Trump's cabinet…his mum married at age 13! this is no excuse that you should marry that young but probably carson's mum was mature for that. another example is that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was around 14 yrs when she bore Him. so…thats just a few examples of maturity in different cases.
    ...Ben Carson's mum married an abusive jerk who left her dirt poor with two kids. Not a great situation. And I don't know any Biblical information stating how old Mary the mother of Jesus was when she bore him. So, I don't know about those examples! lol. Though I do get what you're saying.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    How do you figure that Mary was 14? The bible says nothing about how old she was when she had Jesus..





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    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


    To read my cancer, depression, physical pain & suicide testimonies, go to the Blog tab in my profile.



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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Grace,the very fact that he didn't pull your parents into this also shows his lack of concern for you.Even at the expense of loosing you ,to do things right shows maturity not selfishness.Grace he either doesn't have your best interest at heart or he is imature or he's deceiving you.Just this oversight reveals lack of mature judgement.I speak to you as a daughter or even a grandaughter .The bible says to provide things honestIN THE SIGHT OF ALL MEN ,how much more your parents.Be patient grow and enjoy life with Jesus and your family There is so much to learn about hearing God's voice and what marriage is really about.Praying for you Gracie.
    Tinuviel and NoNameMcgee like this.

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    How do you figure that Mary was 14? The bible says nothing about how old she was when she had Jesus..
    the Bible doesnt say anything, but biblical history in those times clearly shows that young girls got married at that age. it was jewish tradition . Do some research yourself and you'll see!! im surprised you didnt know that. plus, culture has changed. im not saying getting married that early is a good idea nowadays
    laura_charlotte and FranC like this.

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Yoseph View Post
    Grace,the very fact that he didn't pull your parents into this also shows his lack of concern for you.Even at the expense of loosing you ,to do things right shows maturity not selfishness.Grace he either doesn't have your best interest at heart or he is imature or he's deceiving you.Just this oversight reveals lack of mature judgement.I speak to you as a daughter or even a grandaughter .The bible says to provide things honestIN THE SIGHT OF ALL MEN ,how much more your parents.Be patient grow and enjoy life with Jesus and your family There is so much to learn about hearing God's voice and what marriage is really about.Praying for you Gracie.
    there you're wrong. he wanted so bad for me to tell my parents. so yes, he did pull my parents into this. he has a huge amount of concern that people dont realize.
    lol, im not thinking about marriage.

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    Senior Member PeterJens's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    hey guys…im sort of new here and i need some advice. advice from any person willing to give me some
    you see im in a long distant reationship with a guy in italy and no one knows bout it. not even my parents. we've been writing to eachother for like a year now and we're truly in love and there seems to be nothing in our way. is it right for me to keep it a secret from my parents? im afraid they wont like it. thanks for reading. hope to get some answers.
    1. A relationship is not a problem if it is innocent and not exploitative.
    2. There is something wrong here, too much emotion about a stranger you do not know
    3. A dream hidden far away often is just an escape from a situation you know all too well
    4. A serious relationship at 15 is not a good idea.

    You are just about to change in the most profound ways from a child to an adult, which is
    the most emotionally tumulteous time ever,and some never complete.

    The best thing for you is a friendship group of piers who can share their experiences and
    help one another.

    Because you are on a christian web site, sharing the biggest secret in your life, I would suggest
    you are not in a good place and need to refocus into your social support group around you, and
    get a grounding and firm foundation for the next 3 years when you can begin to see where, what
    and how you want to be.

    No young man in Italy is going to make these issues any better, but sharing with your family and
    friends will.
    I share "Jesus Christ and him crucified" 1 cor 2:2
    "He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 cor 15:57

    The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    the Bible doesnt say anything, but biblical history in those times clearly shows that young girls got married at that age. it was jewish tradition . Do some research yourself and you'll see!! im surprised you didnt know that. plus, culture has changed. im not saying getting married that early is a good idea nowadays
    You're right about this.

    Those that depend only on the bible are missing a lot of information.

    For example, a great book to read is: The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah.

    Mary was probably about 15 or 16 years old when she married Joseph.
    And, they were bethrothed a year before.
    laura_charlotte and Gracie_14 like this.

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by FranC View Post
    You're right about this.

    Those that depend only on the bible are missing a lot of information.

    For example, a great book to read is: The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah.

    Mary was probably about 15 or 16 years old when she married Joseph.
    And, they were bethrothed a year before.
    yes right. i'll have to read that book

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    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    there you're wrong. he wanted so bad for me to tell my parents. so yes, he did pull my parents into this. he has a huge amount of concern that people dont realize.
    lol, im not thinking about marriage.
    So, if you're not thinking about marriage I want you to ask yourself what you want out of this relationship. Feel no need to tell us here, just think through it and answer for yourself.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinuviel View Post
    So, if you're not thinking about marriage I want you to ask yourself what you want out of this relationship. Feel no need to tell us here, just think through it and answer for yourself.
    if i could rep you for this i would... but ive done it too recently

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    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by NoNameMcgee View Post
    if i could rep you for this i would... but ive done it too recently
    I hate when that happens lol. It's the thought that counts, right?
    Gracie_14 likes this.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: Kinda new here…need some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    hey guys…im sort of new here and i need some advice. advice from any person willing to give me some
    you see im in a long distant reationship with a guy in italy and no one knows bout it. not even my parents. we've been writing to eachother for like a year now and we're truly in love and there seems to be nothing in our way. is it right for me to keep it a secret from my parents? im afraid they wont like it. thanks for reading. hope to get some answers.
    I don't know if they would like it. Just be careful.

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