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Christian Teens Forum

Teenage Jesus freaks (and Jesus freak wannabes): join/start a discussion here; give/seek advice and encouragement.

Thread: Help me please :(

  1. #1
    Junior Member SimIqbal's Avatar
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    Default Help me please :(

    I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, she is moving cities.. she’s 16 and I’m 17 and when she moves we can’t even meet each over because she has to wait till she’s 18 to even meet me (strict parents of course). 2 years of waiting :’( what do I do, loyalty isn’t the question her I know she loves me a lot and will never do anything to cheat and neither will I.. but this hurts me, any advice

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    It's never a good idea to go against parents, bro. My advice is drop it until you can be honest about it. That sounds brutal to you, I know. But parents have every right to set boundaries for their sixteen-year-old daughter, and by not following them you are helping your girlfriend to break God's law
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

  3. #3
    Junior Member SimIqbal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    It’s impossible for me and her to stop talking that’ll just lead to neither of us focusing on our studies and well of course be depressed, So dropping it it’s not a option. I know it is a sin but come on it’s not the worst thing we could be doing, we pray everyday, we know it’s not a good thing to stay hidden but we’re too deep in love to just drop it. I understand what you’re advising me but Its not happening.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    It’s impossible for me and her to stop talking that’ll just lead to neither of us focusing on our studies and well of course be depressed, So dropping it it’s not a option. I know it is a sin but come on it’s not the worst thing we could be doing, we pray everyday, we know it’s not a good thing to stay hidden but we’re too deep in love to just drop it. I understand what you’re advising me but Its not happening.
    There is no big and little sins, brother. Each of those "little" sins sent Jesus to the cross where He went through Hell for His people. But you already rejected my advice, so I guess there's nothing more I can say. God bless you and show you His path for your feet.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

  5. #5
    Junior Member SimIqbal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinuviel View Post
    There is no big and little sins, brother. Each of those "little" sins sent Jesus to the cross where He went through Hell for His people. But you already rejected my advice, so I guess there's nothing more I can say. God bless you and show you His path for your feet.
    I know that bro but there’s nothing I can do I know it upsets god but I’m helpless I have to have this one sin for 2 years I guess..

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I know that bro but there’s nothing I can do I know it upsets god but I’m helpless I have to have this one sin for 2 years I guess..
    Yeah Ok. And I understand that. I really do! I understand having a sin that you feel totally powerless to give up. The question is: are you willing to let God take it? Are you willing to give up these sinful, powerful, earthly desires which you cannot keep, for a life in glory, which you will never loose? Go with God. Keep asking Him His will for you, and then pray twice as hard for the strength to follow it! Because in my life anyway, finding out God's will is the easy part God bless.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    It’s impossible for me and her to stop talking that’ll just lead to neither of us focusing on our studies and well of course be depressed, So dropping it it’s not a option. I know it is a sin but come on it’s not the worst thing we could be doing, we pray everyday, we know it’s not a good thing to stay hidden but we’re too deep in love to just drop it. I understand what you’re advising me but Its not happening.
    love is wanting the best for someone....
    to the point of self sacrifice


    my advice to you is to dive into the bible....

    if you dont have one

    https://youtu.be/j6ENtjQqgoA

    i agree with tinuviel


    its not that you have to give up hope

    that girl may one day be your wife

    but you are very young...
    and you know her parents DO want whats best for her

    respect them

    grow in faith through hearing the Word

  8. #8
    Senior Member MultilingualMessenger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I know that bro but there’s nothing I can do I know it upsets god but I’m helpless I have to have this one sin for 2 years I guess..
    You can't be devoted to God and to sin at the same time. There comes a time when you have to choose one or the other. I agree with Tinuviel: you gotta ask yourself if you want the sin, or if you want to let it go. It's the age-old fight between the flesh and the spirit. This won't be the last time you have to make a choice between the two of them.

    Doesn't mean you can't ever date this girl without it being sinful. I just mean this for sin in general (but at this specific moment, it's dating this girl).

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lighthearted's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    The man I love lives in Georgia...5 states away. That's just the way it is right now. God has told us to wait. So, we talk as much as we can everyday, we text, and we Skype. Unless her parents don't want her having friends, then you shouldn't have a problem keeping in touch. If your relationship is worth it, and it's meant to last, then it will. The best way to be sure it lasts is by honoring God and her parents.
    Last edited by Lighthearted; 3 Weeks Ago at 03:03 AM.
    Is your Jesus light shining?

  10. #10
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    I assume that you have an electronic device, since you were able to post on this site. If that's the case, download Skype and talk to her from there, or if she doesn't have an account, at least regularly call or FaceTime or at the VERY least, text. There we go! The relationship can live on!!!

    Btw, welcome!!!
    Last edited by WineRose; 3 Weeks Ago at 03:54 AM.
    Socreta93, joefizz and SimIqbal like this.
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  11. #11
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, she is moving cities.. she’s 16 and I’m 17 and when she moves we can’t even meet each over because she has to wait till she’s 18 to even meet me (strict parents of course). 2 years of waiting :’( what do I do, loyalty isn’t the question her I know she loves me a lot and will never do anything to cheat and neither will I.. but this hurts me, any advice
    Hey....ik how u feel...I was in a hidden relationship and eventually it ended this September. It went on for 3 years...he was a christian too...I was hiding it since I was 16 because I loved him too much to loose him even though I knew I was going against God by lying and hiding from my parents. The thing is...when we go against God, there is no guarantee of happiness in life. I think the best thing is to stay friends for now and in time, if it is meant to be God will bring her back into your life, when u guys dont have to keep it a secret. I know its hard...I felt like my life was over this September...I couldn't deal with it...I was going insane and the worst part...I was going through it alone with no help since my family dint know. I finally told my sister and she was there to help me out but my parents still dont know. Still thinking of a way to tell them without them being mad at me Whatever we hide...eventually will be exposed. I know its hard but pray about it and ask God to help you not be so attached and to give you peace during this time. I know it hurts, im still hurting rn too but im a lot better than what I was 2 months ago. Im fighting and so can u

  12. #12
    Senior Member Socreta93's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Like Rose said, use Skype, face time to communicate. Text or email each other to stay in touch. The internet is a wonderful place.
    “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



    "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, she is moving cities.. she’s 16 and I’m 17 and when she moves we can’t even meet each over because she has to wait till she’s 18 to even meet me (strict parents of course). 2 years of waiting :’( what do I do, loyalty isn’t the question her I know she loves me a lot and will never do anything to cheat and neither will I.. but this hurts me, any advice
    Take up the lost art of letter writting and don't go against her parents if you want their blessing to court her.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by I_am_Canadian View Post
    Take up the lost art of letter writting and don't go against her parents if you want their blessing to court her.
    hear, hear! lol. IMHO, a letter is a much better way to communicate than phone calls, emails, or even face time.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

  15. #15
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by I_am_Canadian View Post
    Take up the lost art of letter writting and don't go against her parents if you want their blessing to court her.
    It's all fun and games unless he doesn't know or forgets the exact address of his girlfriend's new location...
    Just a filthy Asian casual roaming the streets of the Singles and Miscellaneous forums.

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue.
    This isn't a dating site,
    Sorry to disappoint you.

    http://christianchat.com/miscellaneo...ng-myself.html

  16. #16
    Member LittleGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, she is moving cities.. she’s 16 and I’m 17 and when she moves we can’t even meet each over because she has to wait till she’s 18 to even meet me (strict parents of course). 2 years of waiting :’( what do I do, loyalty isn’t the question her I know she loves me a lot and will never do anything to cheat and neither will I.. but this hurts me, any advice
    Sorry I don't understand about you two meeting.
    Are you saying you've never met her??

  17. #17
    Senior Member student's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Quote Originally Posted by SimIqbal View Post
    I know that bro but there’s nothing I can do I know it upsets god but I’m helpless I have to have this one sin for 2 years I guess..
    God strengthens each of us in areas we may not feel "Able" to be tested...yet we are. NOW is a good time to develop integrity. Being strong for you may not work. Be strong for her. You wouldn't want to be the reason for a 'wedge' between your girl and her parents. Were there to be a relationship in 2 years, a wedge like that makes a hardened heart that takes much time to resolve. Be strong. Be true to God. Be loyal to a friend of whom you wish to develop into a more serious relationship. You CAN do this.

  18. #18
    Member Jesus_Loves_You's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me please :(

    Give it all to God..he knows what's best for each and every one of us.
    2 Peter 3:9- The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.