Results 1 to 7 of 7
Like Tree11Likes
  • 6 Post By Miri
  • 2 Post By Miri
  • 1 Post By Miri
  • 1 Post By Gracie_14
  • 1 Post By Miri

Christian Teens Forum

Teenage Jesus freaks (and Jesus freak wannabes): join/start a discussion here; give/seek advice and encouragement.

Thread: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

  1. #1
    Senior Member Miri's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 22nd, 2012
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,411
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    273

    Default Testimony of a teen satanist born again


    I came across this and thought it was good both for teen and parents.
    I didn’t know which forum to post it on, but anyway here it is. Lol


    ‘Satanism became my life’ - BBC Three


    Benedict Atkins13 April 2018

    I first got into Satanism when I was 15. My parents are committed
    Christians and took my sisters and me to church when we were kids.
    A few years earlier, I had started hanging out at my local skate park
    in southwest London and listening to death metal bands. I'd gotten
    into alcohol and drugs, and lost my virginity at 12. It became a
    choice between hanging out with my friends in what I saw as the
    'real world', or listening to Bible stories with my parents and colouring
    in pictures of Noah’s Ark. I chose rebellion.



    My look at the time was 'full Emo' - I had a huge fringe that I perfected
    with my sister’s hair straighteners. I played guitar in a band with some
    friends - it was an easy way to get attention. I wore band T-shirts and
    even, occasionally, some ‘guyliner’. Sexuality is very fluid when you’re
    that age, so, if they asked, I would sometimes wear make-up to impress girls.



    One night I spotted The Satanic Bible at a mate’s house. I took it from
    his bookshelf and read the whole thing in one go. Written by the founder
    of the Church of Satan, Anton LaVey, it has sold over a million copies
    since it was first published in 1969. I really connected with it. I was
    unhappy in my relationship with my then girlfriend and I was arguing
    a lot with my parents. Satanism seemed to acknowledge the pain and
    anger I was feeling.



    The next day, I had a huge row with my mum, so I locked myself in my
    room and started carving a pentagram - the symbol of the Church of
    Satan - onto my arm. There was a lot of blood, but it didn’t deter me.
    I wanted to permanently scar my body.



    People interpret it in different ways but, to me, Satanism was about
    loving yourself at the expense of others. In a philosophical sense,
    it’s actually got little to do with devil worship. Most Satanists believe
    in doing everything in their power to get what they want out of life.
    Indulging in desires such as sex, food, and booze is encouraged.
    It breeds selfishness within you, which is what makes it so dark - for
    yourself as well as those around you. Putting yourself first all the time,
    and not caring about others, is lonely.



    But, at the time, I felt like the Christian God that I grew up with, who
    was meant to be good, didn't seem to care about my suffering. I was
    self-harming and rebelling with drink and drugs. My parent’s brand
    of suburban Christianity didn’t offer me any solace. It seemed to be
    all about pretending everything was fine; there was no room for
    darkness or controversy. So I rejected it.



    Satanism gripped me. It became my life. I drew the pentagram on
    everything, from my school books to my body. My friends and
    my girlfriend were freaked out - they all thought I'd gone too far. I
    went from being pretty popular to having no friends.



    Cutting myself was something I’d done on and off in the past. I’d
    stopped, but found myself starting again when my relationship got rocky.



    Then one night I dreamt that Satan was standing at the end of my bed.
    He was well-dressed and well-spoken, like a character from a Sherlock
    Holmes film. He just stood there and said, ‘You’re going to finish your
    exams and then die’. I was like, ‘Oh shit - this is bad, I’m going to die
    before I even get to give up triple science’. So, I started making deals
    with Satan. If I stole things like booze from my parents, was honest
    with girls that I just wanted sex, or turned people against each other,
    then I got to live. I’d been quite a caring person until then, but I became
    horribly manipulative.



    After a while, I started having terrible nightmares and realised I was
    getting quite disturbed. There was a moment when I asked l
    myself, 'Am I really having a conversation with Satan?' My relationship
    with my girlfriend had fallen apart, I’d turned against my family, and
    lost a lot of friends. I felt totally isolated and like I had nobody to turn
    to except Satan. Then my exams were over - and I was still alive.
    Suddenly, it was clear to me that he was a liar.



    Salvation came in an unlikely form. A friend of my sister’s, who
    happened to be the local vicar’s daughter, invited me to a Christian
    festival. It was a week-long event in the countryside. To be honest,
    I went because I thought there might be some hot girls there. But I
    was surprised to find that it was full of people who, like me, were
    unhappy with traditional Christianity.



    On the last night of the festival, I was listening to a talk about how
    to recognise when you’ve hit rock bottom when a stranger offered
    to pray for me. I didn’t know what to say so I agreed. While he was
    praying, I felt a sense of peace flood my body. Afterwards, the man
    said that even though I felt there was no hope in my life, God had a
    plan for me and Satan was a liar.



    I went home feeling free and positive for the first time in ages. I decided
    to look at Christianity again, but not just accepting it unquestioningly,
    as I had been told to do before. I started hanging out with a few people
    I’d met at my parents’ church who, like me, weren't interested in just
    sitting down and listening to traditional sermons.



    Slowly, I learned not to use people for money or sex, as Satanism had
    led me to. Rumours went around the skate park that I was a ‘born again’.
    Some of my friends were supportive, but it became hard to stay part of
    such a hedonistic scene.



    Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll had been my coping mechanisms throughout
    my teens. It took me years to learn that you don't need those to feel good
    about yourself, and I slipped up on occasion. But I started going to church
    more regularly, and I felt increasingly like I belonged.



    When I was 20, I met my wife, Sarah, through the church. We’ve been
    married for three years now.







    I never set out to be a vicar. I got a job in south London after college, working
    with dyslexic kids from local gangs. At the same time, I joined a new church
    in the area, and found myself being asked for advice by young members
    of the congregation about spiritual matters. I was like, 'Wow, this is quite
    a big responsibility'. I decided to do some proper studying, and took a Bible
    Studies degree at the University of Nottingham.



    For the past 18 months, I’ve been a vicar in Canning Town, East London.
    I’ve decided not to wear a dog collar. I don’t see myself as a figure of
    authority - I’m a normal guy. In my neighbourhood, the dog collar would
    be a barrier.



    Our church has grown from a congregation of 5 to 50. I still wear an earring
    I bought from a hippy shop when I was 14, and I’ve just got a new
    tattoo (I had one already and would get more, but I think my wife would
    rather I spend my wages on a holiday!). There are plenty of tattoos in
    Canning Town, so I don’t particularly stand out here.



    When I think back to how scared and lost I was when I was a Satanist,
    it makes me determined to help people. That’s why I do this job. My
    name, Benedict, actually means blessing - I was born after a very
    difficult pregnancy which put both my life and mum’s at risk. In
    my darkest moments, I lost my sense of life being a blessing. Now, I
    just want to stay here in Canning Town until God decides it's time
    for me to move on, or I die.





    He is God and we are not.


    Quote Originally Posted by notmyown View Post
    Miri, for being Mary Poppins. (inside joke, but no, really! she's kind and no nonsense!)

  2. #2
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 21st, 2014
    Age
    47
    Posts
    61,219
    Blog Entries
    8
    Rep Power
    452

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    Miri, this has some profanity in it. I reported it to be edited.



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



  3. #3
    Senior Member Miri's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 22nd, 2012
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,411
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    273

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    I think it’s just giving the harsh reality of his life before he became a
    Christian. It reflects a lot of teens, how they feel and speak, so in that sense
    it’s not excessive, just real raw true to life, honest account.

    Sometimes we forget the raw reality of life and start a bit prissy.

    But if the mods want to edit it, that’s fine.
    blue_ladybug and Gracie_14 like this.
    He is God and we are not.


    Quote Originally Posted by notmyown View Post
    Miri, for being Mary Poppins. (inside joke, but no, really! she's kind and no nonsense!)

  4. #4
    Senior Member Miri's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 22nd, 2012
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,411
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    273

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    Sorry I didn’t put that across very well, what I meant is that as Christians
    we can start to act all prim and proper and lose sight of those we are reaching out to.
    Raw, real testimonies rather than the prim proper ones, have more of an
    impact.
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    He is God and we are not.


    Quote Originally Posted by notmyown View Post
    Miri, for being Mary Poppins. (inside joke, but no, really! she's kind and no nonsense!)

  5. #5
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 21st, 2014
    Age
    47
    Posts
    61,219
    Blog Entries
    8
    Rep Power
    452

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    Raw testimonies are fine. Swear words on a Christian site are not.



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



  6. #6
    Senior Member Gracie_14's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 31st, 2017
    Age
    16
    Posts
    592
    Rep Power
    73

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    what an intersting, inspiringtestimony i e njoyed it and gave me some points to think about. thanks so much Miri for sharing. though, it was quite heavy…it is worth the read for many teens out there and for parents to be warned
    Miri likes this.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Miri's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 22nd, 2012
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,411
    Blog Entries
    13
    Rep Power
    273

    Default Re: Testimony of a teen satanist born again

    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie_14 View Post
    what an intersting, inspiringtestimony i e njoyed it and gave me some points to think about. thanks so much Miri for sharing. though, it was quite heavy…it is worth the read for many teens out there and for parents to be warned
    I thought it was really good as well.

    Several points made me think, like the bit where he said he could colour in
    pictures of Noah in church, or hang out with friends in the park.

    I think churches can often overlook the needs of teens, or they don’t
    realise they are growing up.

    When I was a teen we had evenings where we could play table tennis,
    snooker etc, followed by bible study. It wasn’t enough though and
    many teens drifted away.

    Then as I got older and started helping out, myself and a few other
    helpers use to arrange days out, swimming, days at the coast, weekends away.
    We joined up with other churches for some of the more organised stuff.

    It made the church more relevant to the teen age group.

    My current church is amazing they take the teens surfing, wall climbing,
    dry scope skiing, mission holidays etc and set up a home work club.
    Gracie_14 likes this.
    He is God and we are not.


    Quote Originally Posted by notmyown View Post
    Miri, for being Mary Poppins. (inside joke, but no, really! she's kind and no nonsense!)

Similar Threads

  1. From satanist to Christian - My Testimony
    By Dillon93 in forum Testimonies
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: June 15th, 2014, 06:37 PM
  2. A testimony of a man -From satanist to christian
    By Kreation in forum Testimonies
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 30th, 2013, 12:31 AM
  3. Teen Testimony Bible Study
    By jesusfreak1994 in forum Christian Teens Forum
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: May 18th, 2012, 12:29 PM
  4. Replies: 8
    Last Post: July 26th, 2009, 09:21 PM