"Broken Hallelujah" What do you think?

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A

amberann

Guest
#1
#1
Broken Hallelujah


Verse1
In the silence I have plead
Oh Lord please break my heart
And tear me apart
For the things
That I sing a broken hallelujah

CHORUS
Here I sing my broken
Hallelujah
Fore I have seen
What these things do to ya
These things that break your heart
These things that were never meant to start
Oh lord I sing
My broken hallelujah

Verse2
There I was torn apart
Oh my bleeding heart
Shattered before the Lord my God
For the things that I sing
A broken hallelujah

(Chorus)


(Bridge)
My broken hallelujah
Oh what it can do to ya
I was captured by your grace
And was shown part of your pain
My broken, broken hallelujah

Verse3
I was seeking guidance
So I asked for your grace
To break my heart
Take the pain in your place
My heart did break
And I was awake and I sang

(Bridge)

(Instrumental)

(soft chorus)


What do you think? I just wrote this in raw emotion so it might be sort of rough. I felt pretty moved, please tell me what you think. Thank you, God Bless.
 
G

godsgirl39

Guest
#2
#2
This is simply AMAZING!!! Do you play any instruments? This is just to good to not put into action! Thanks for sharing!
 
A

amberann

Guest
#3
#3
Your welcome, I am learning guitar and piano right now. Thank you so much.
 
T

TheJesusFreak

Guest
#4
#4
Are you thinking of a fast tempo or a slow tempo?
And like if you would have it sang to any tune what woulud it be?
(like when the ssb (star spangled banner) was wrote it was sang to like some english drinking tune (stupid) but still sang to a tune)


ITS HACKIN AMAZING
 
A

amberann

Guest
#5
#5
I am thinking a slow-medium pace. Thank you so much.
 
K

Kooper

Guest
#6
#6
I'd like to hear this.
 
B

BeauBLESSED

Guest
#7
#7
Choice effort!
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#8
#8
:) beautiful :)
 
P

Paulasaurus

Guest
#9
#9
AMAZING! -triple thumbs up- lolz
 
T

TheJesusFreak

Guest
#10
#10
I was getting annoyed with these other stuck up trumpet players today so I startedish a song called PRIDE lol

Buttt I cant write verses lol Im not good at that as much as choruses and such.
 
R

RyFlan

Guest
#11
#11
Hey this is really good! I'm a musician/songwriter too so I love seeing other peoples' stuff. It's encouraging :)
 
A

amberann

Guest
#12
#12
Thank you all so much, after I posted this I was nervous about what people would say.
 
A

amberann

Guest
#14
#14
Thank you guys so much. I was so nervous when I posted this about what people would say, but now I am glad that I did.
 
S

SantoSubito

Guest
#15
#15
It's a little to informal to me if that makes sense (ya instead of you), but other than that and the fact that it uses Hallelujah instead of Alleluia it looks good to me.
 
A

amberlouiise

Guest
#16
#16
amazing!!!
 
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