Making friends (with guys and girls)?

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K

Kite

Guest
#1
#1
Eh, yeah...
I have a really hard time making friends people. Out of my group of friends, most of them approached me first. I think I approached someone only once or twice. I have no problem answering people if they talk to me, but it get's really hard when I talk to someone first. It's been bothering me for this past school year especially, because I transferred to a different school.
And when it comes talking to guys, that's basically out of the question for me. My mom says there's nothing wrogn with having guys as friends, and she's right, but I always get really nervous around them and can't focus right.

Any advice how to open up and be less afraid? (I have prayed for courage, and for the last two weeks of school I actually opened up just a little bit.)
 
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BeauBLESSED

Guest
#2
#2
From what I've learned - I'm a bit of a shy fellow myself - a good way to build confidence in yourself is to act confidently; when you're alone, walk and talk as if you're full of confidence, and this will automatically apply itself when you're out in public.
But heyy, don't worry if you appear shy to others, because the majority of people will respect shyness, and others will even appreciate you even more for it. ;)

Hmmmm... if you want to know how to open up to others in the sense that you want others to feel liked by you, one important rule of thumb is that you must BE interested! Talk to a person and ask them about themselves. You will notice that said person will recognise that you are genuinely interested, especially when you use gestures to show that you're listening, such as nodding and asking a question based on what they just told you.

And if it helps, I'd love to be your friend. Just message me if you want to ask me more about this topic, or if you just want to talk to me.
God bless. =]
 
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punarthaj

Guest
#3
#3
Hi ppl...im all new to this/........how are u all doin
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#4
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#4
Hey Kite, I'm the same.

That's something I've struggled with for ages. And you know what? I'm not expecting it to completely change, nor should I. Some people are shy, some people are loud. I for one prefer shy people. I like the mystery of it. Information is valuable if it is concealed.

I might never be able to go up to a group of 10 people I don't know and start talking to them, but what I do try to do is just constantly be in the picture. Just hang around people and wait until they talk to you. If you do that consistently, people will get used to you and you will get used to them. It might take months or years, but eventually you'll start initiating the conversations yourself because you'll feel confident around them.

:)
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#5
#5
Making friends with girls is easy...... just walk up and say something about how you feel fat .................
 
M

missy2shoes

Guest
#6
#6
lol @ Sam........:p
I'm actually extremely shy in real life....
 
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SamIam

Guest
#7
#7
meeee to! Its really hard for me to get to know people.... Im very quiet at first.. and alot of people take that for being stuck up since i wont really talk to them......
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#8
#8
yup....I tend to hide in the shadows.....eh....oh well...tis life ;)
 
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EmersonWolfe

Guest
#9
#9
Yeah, isn't that funny how people assume you're arrogant when you're actually painfully shy? I've been trying to make new friends now that I've been back in my hometown for a while and so far I haven't been doing too well... ah well... just gotta keep trying to talk to people...
 
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SamIam

Guest
#10
#10
uhh huh i know what ya mean..... except for without the hiding part..... Once i get to know someone though... its easy from there, but no one seems to get my humor!! Why are people sooo serious!
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#11
#11
I get ya humour Sam :D
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#12
#12
EmersonWolfe said:
Yeah, isn't that funny how people assume you're arrogant when you're actually painfully shy? I've been trying to make new friends now that I've been back in my hometown for a while and so far I haven't been doing too well... ah well... just gotta keep trying to talk to people...
Click to expand...
ohh yeah its totally frustrating! i am the least arrogant and stuck up person ever. I've been tryin to work on that.... You dont seem shy at all em.
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#14
#14
I dont think................. I KNOW! hey.... i dont see all the girls runnin after you........... might be cause you got a half starved picture of a lame dog up there........
 
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EmersonWolfe

Guest
#15
#15
Sam, I don't know how you do it, man... you seem to understand girls better than any of us
 
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SamIam

Guest
#16
#16
i know, its crazy isnt it! Its like....... i know what there thinking!!!!!!! Truly a gift!
 
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torotoro

Guest
#17
#17
tsk tsk tsk...shame, shame on all of you. I understand your evil plans of taking over the FORUM WORLD, but there are limits. We are well past our TEENS. This part of the FORUM WORLD should be spared, for the teens sake.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#18
Jan 3, 2007
626
2
0
36
#18
BeauBlessed has had the best advice so far. You have to show others that you're interested just by asking them basic questions. Ta know, small talk about the weather, stuff going on around you etc.


BTW am I the only one here who is like...NOT shy at all in real life? haha
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#19
#19
yup.................. your the only one.......... all alone................................ by yourself...................... and freakishly tall may i add
 
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pinkstix56

Guest
#20
#20
The best way to handle this ..is do something you wouldn't normally do. If you have a youth group, just apporach someone and start talking to them. By letting God take you out of your comfort zone, helps you to grow.So don't be afraid i use to have the same problem, but i had to learn how to be more open and accepting of others, and God helped me through it by talking to people i normally wouldn't talk to at church or at school etc. Just try it i promise you it will be awkward but rewarding in the end. :]
 
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