wrote a poem

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Johnxxxx

Johnxxxx

Banned
#1
Nov 28, 2011
69
1
0
30
#1
I'm waiting for a conversation
a conversation to get me by
a conversation about the nation
a conversation about the sky

I'd like to talk to you
I think that'd be cool
about how a ghost go's boo
or how to sit on a stool

We can talk a whisper
or we can talk in a shout
about how tap water's crisper
when poured fresh from the spout

we can talk for days
we can talk all night
about seagulls and bays
about darkness and light

My dear it doesn't matter
why you talk to me
because I couldn't be gladder
that you and I are we
 
B

Brandon777

Guest
#2
#2
I liked it. I think you could do better though. It didn't have a theme. Try freestyle, so you're not constrained to rhyme.
 
Johnxxxx

Johnxxxx

Banned
#3
Nov 28, 2011
69
1
0
30
#3
Oh, there's a theme alright. But yeah I see what you mean, although I'm not going to sacrifice poetic structure for meaning. A truly good poem incorporates both, and I need to work on that.
 
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