C
I have been raised in church all my life, but with my dad abandoning me and being homeless for a while, and my brother betraying my family, the last 7 years have been really hard on me, and I've wanted to and have attempted suicide several times, and I often fantasize about death. And to me it looks like the God of the bible is not so much of a God I would want to even bother with serving, and living with my step father who is a pastor it seems like all I've had to deal with the past several years is not the kind of life a loving god would provide for someone. I am very confused on my beliefs but I have to make my own choice and I am not sure on which way to go, I guess I need a very pronounced sign that if there is a God, he loves me even with them bits of myself I can not help. I would like to know of some other people around my age going through the same things.