Before marriage question, help!

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cooly22

Guest
#1
#1
I got my first serious boyfriend, im 17 and he's 19. He;s been pressuring me into sex alot, almost everyday and i've always wanted to wait until marriage but now im starting to change my ways and think of giving in. I want to do what's right with god because im not even sure if i love this guy but im also giving into the pressure. Will i be a bad person if i do give in or should i just get rid of this relationship and move on. Im so confused and worried. Help!!
 
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Fidelis

Guest
#2
#2
cooly22 said:
I got my first serious boyfriend, im 17 and he's 19. He;s been pressuring me into sex alot, almost everyday and i've always wanted to wait until marriage but now im starting to change my ways and think of giving in. I want to do what's right with god because im not even sure if i love this guy but im also giving into the pressure. Will i be a bad person if i do give in or should i just get rid of this relationship and move on. Im so confused and worried. Help!!
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I am not going to judge about anyone's interpretation of the Bible. If someone thinks sex before marriage is okay, then that should be respected. What I do NOT respect, is someone, in this case your boyfriend, who wants to force his desires on you, while he knows that you do not want to. It is a matter of respect in my opinion. A boyfriend should respect the beliefs and principles of his girlfriend and not trying to break him and making his lusts a bigger priority than your personal beliefs.
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#3
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
30
48
29
#3
Um, if he is pushing you towards sex, just leave Him... You deserve better. He is really in love with you, he thinks he is but he is just attracted to you. Don't hurt yourself and fall into this, God has a better person for you, one who loves you and wants nothing more than to just be with you. God bless
 
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GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#4
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#4
You shouldn't compromise your principles for anyone, especially since they have to do with your relationship with God and something as important as physical intimacy. This guy just wants to take advantage of you. If he loved you in a right way, he wouldn't put any pressure on you. If you give in to him, you'll regret it later.
 
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Nev

Guest
#5
#5
If he is pressuring you then don't. You should only do it when YOU feel it is right. I do not agree with no sex before marriage however your virginity should be treasured. You have no idea how valuable to you it is. Everyone i've talked to who lost it and still not with the person they lost it with regrets it.
I would tell him to choose between you or sex and see which he chooses.
 
honest01

honest01

Banned
#6
Aug 27, 2011
326
2
0
#6
Hi Cooly, sex before marriage is wrong because sex was made only for married people that is Husband and wife. No matter what people may say about this. The truth is that sex before marriage is wrong and should never be encourage just as all other things which are wrong or evil. Wrong deeds will always remain wrong and right deeds will always remain right. My base is on the Bible and what the Bible says is right is right and what it says is wrong is wrong because it is God who is saying it since the Bible is His words. So, sex before marriage is wrong just as the Bible says.

Cooly, you have to overcome this because it is the work of the devil to make you sin against your God which you love so much. The devil have entered into your boyfriend that is why he is asking you to have sex with him without marry and this is wrong. Please try and preach the good news of God to your boyfriend so that he will also overcome the devil who is a big deciever and the father of lies.
Cooly, you have to overcome this temptation. God be with you.
Thanks.


cooly22 said:
I got my first serious boyfriend, im 17 and he's 19. He;s been pressuring me into sex alot, almost everyday and i've always wanted to wait until marriage but now im starting to change my ways and think of giving in. I want to do what's right with god because im not even sure if i love this guy but im also giving into the pressure. Will i be a bad person if i do give in or should i just get rid of this relationship and move on. Im so confused and worried. Help!!
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triplet347

Guest
#7
#7
Cooly22,

Don't give in. I don't know you or your boyfiend, but I'll give it to you straight. You need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation with him. You need to ask him some questions to which his answer will be telling. Ask him if he loves you. He will probably say, "yes, of course I do. That's why I want to be with you and make love to you." or something like that. Then say to him something like this, "Then show me you love me." to which he may say something like, "Well, that's what I'm trying to do. I want to show you how much I love you by making love to you." or something like that. You need to tell him that if he truly loves you then he will want the very best for you. What's that? HEAVEN. The highest form of love is self-sacrificial love. love that will cause him to deny himself until marriage because he loves and respects you enough to make sure he doesn't do anything that would even remotely put your soul in danger of grave sin. Sexual impurity is a grave matter and that includes sex before marriage (fornication).

You are also going to have to be ready to make tough choices yourself, one of which is to end the relationship if he is not willing to love you the way you should and need to be loved. If he's not willing to back off and do that, then you have your answer to whether he is really in love with you or he is just loves the way you make him feel and he's looking for "new" ways for you to make him feel.

Please take this serious and pray about this. You know the answer already. I have a 17 year-old daughter and she has been dating a boy (the first real boyfiend she has had too) and we had him over for dinner, which is what we required before we would even consider letter Sarah date him, and I made sure he understood what I am sharing with you. The only reason you or any of us should be dating is if we are looking for our future spouse. We should be praying everyday as I pray for my kids future spouses, even though they are between the ages of 17 years and 19 months. I pray that God protects and leads their future spouse and that they are godly and pure. You do the same and God will lead you to the perfect man he wants you to spend the rest of your life with. You do that and your wedding day and your wedding night will be the best day and night of your life.

God bless,
 
Laretta

Laretta

Member
#8
Oct 23, 2011
32
0
0
#8
I don't know what your boyfriend is like, but if he is pressuring you into doing something that you don't want to, then I think that you should dump him. Most guys like him won't stop at just that. They'll keep pressuring you to do more and more, so before you know it, you're further than you thought you would ever be. I had an ex-boyfriend who kept trying to pressure me into things I didn't want to do. I left him without a second thought.
 
L

LANCY

Guest
#9
#9
Setting aside whether it is wrong or right in God's eyes for just a second, I am going to tell you that having sex at your age changes a relationship, unfortunately, not in a good way. As mature as you feel you are at this very moment, you are nowhere near the maturity you should be when consummating a relationship.

Save yourself from the emotional rollercoaster that you are thinking of getting into. Trust me that the emotions you are having now is on a much smaller scale than the emotions you will have once you step off the cliff.

Now, as for what God wants....He wants what every Father and Mother wants for their children.. and that is for them to be unblemished and innocent until they are married. Don'tallow anyone to convince you to think differently.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
Hate to tell you this, but your boyfriend doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. He wants to get in your pants and thats all. A few times of that and he'll get bored and move on to his next conquest.
Save yourself for marriage. Trust me. Nothing but pain and regret comes from sex before marriage. It also is good to help weed out the men in your life who are only after bedding you vs a man who genuinely cares about you.
And yes, the bible does not believe in sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage is so bad, its even one of the only reasons God permits divorce.
Sex before marriage puts you at risk of STD's, pregnancy before marriage, being used by men, forming stronger emotional bonds with short term relationships making breakups harder on you. Not to mention going against God's will.
If i were you i'd skip dating for the next few years, learn what you believe about sex, God, grow in your walk, learn about marriage and mature a bit. Because you do not sound ready to be in a relationship at this point. Not to be mean, just being honest. There's so much more you could do with your life at your age than worry about dating and sex. Utilize your age and time to enhance your life and improve yourself instead.
 
A

allforchrist10

Guest
#11
#11
i agree with Shemaiah, if a guy cant respect your belifs and wishes then he osent deserve you bc i believe the same way i had a fiance who thoought just bc we were engaged it was ok to have sex and well he tried and he got the ring back as well so dont give in waiting will be so much better bc thats something you cant redo once you lose ur virginity its gone yeah you can repent but as far as redoing time to before you had sex itsimpossible but if you boyfriend loves you truly then he wont mind waiting for you :)
 
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kayem77

Guest
#12
#12
Ugly said:
Hate to tell you this, but your boyfriend doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. He wants to get in your pants and thats all. A few times of that and he'll get bored and move on to his next conquest.
Save yourself for marriage. Trust me. Nothing but pain and regret comes from sex before marriage. It also is good to help weed out the men in your life who are only after bedding you vs a man who genuinely cares about you.
And yes, the bible does not believe in sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage is so bad, its even one of the only reasons God permits divorce.
Sex before marriage puts you at risk of STD's, pregnancy before marriage, being used by men, forming stronger emotional bonds with short term relationships making breakups harder on you. Not to mention going against God's will.
If i were you i'd skip dating for the next few years, learn what you believe about sex, God, grow in your walk, learn about marriage and mature a bit. Because you do not sound ready to be in a relationship at this point. Not to be mean, just being honest. There's so much more you could do with your life at your age than worry about dating and sex. Utilize your age and time to enhance your life and improve yourself instead.
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I agree with what he said.
 
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Lightwalker

Guest
#13
#13
I have to say I agree with what everybody said on here. If the guy loves you enough and has any respect for you he wouldn't be trying to pressuring you into having sex before marriage. Don't let him force you into doing something that you don't want to do and will regret later.
 
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BrittanyJones

Guest
#14
#14
He'll move onto other girls soon whether you do or not. You might as well not let him take from you first before he leaves. It's sooo not worth it, you'll feel pretty horrible about yourself.

Bless :)
 
TomB_2012

TomB_2012

Banned
#15
Mar 1, 2012
117
2
0
28
#15
forget about him. seriously just get of him. wait for your future husband.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#17
Jan 15, 2011
6,031
3,264
113
#17
To the OP. Regardless of the issue of premarital sex being clearly against the teaching of the Bible think about this. Your virginity is something you only give away once. In all my years I have never heard of someone having regret about not losing their virginity soon enough, but I have met countless people who regret having not waited.

Do yourself a big favor and don't let this guy play with your heart. Move on.
 
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Bewar

Guest
#18
#18
One of the greatest gifts you can give to your spouse is your virginity.. i think you should tell him that you want to wait until your married before you have sex and if he doesn't agree with you then move on mate :)
 
Cliffbar

Cliffbar

Member
#19
Jan 16, 2011
65
1
8
#19
Sorry but your boyfriend is a worthless one if he is pressuring you, if it persisted i would get rid of him asap. Thats Dog
 
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dishchat

Guest
#20
#20
Don't be confused. Pray God to help you. According to the Bible, the Spirit who dwell in you is more stronger than the world. Keep yourself pure and don't let any man touch your body. Only your husband can touch you after you get married to him.sex before marriage is called fornication.Repent and implore God to have mercy for you and for your boyfriend. Tell your boyfriend that you repent and if he really loves you, wait until marriage because God is a jealous God who do not want to see his children in fornication. Resis the devil and he will flee from you.
 
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