Am I Shallow?

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Matthew4Jesus

Matthew4Jesus

Senior Member
#1
May 7, 2011
258
5
18
#1
Hey guys I am in a bit of a predicament, I have had this on and off thing with the only Christian girl in my school, and I at the moment things are starting to get more serious for her, but for me I was just testing the waters. Anyway, the point is, she is such a wonderful Godly person but she is... unattractiveness and SOOOO boring... but we barely spend any time together because she is always busy, so maybe it's that, I am not sure. My mind is saying ''yes, wonderful Christian girl, your age, same ambitions, same strong belief in god, crazy about you, GO FOR IT!!'' but my heart says ''No, you don't even like her, she is not pretty, no attraction.'' then my mind says ''So what, you will grow to like her.''

Any scripture would be very helpful thanks! I am in no rush to be in a relationship by the way, so I am totally flexible with any suggestions. Oh and seriously, why on earth are her looks a factor... it's just so hard to have any feelings for her at all.
 
D

Dubbaz

Guest
#2
#2
From personal experience you do need to have some form of physical attraction to her man, I've been there before with the whole; Great girl, great personality, same interests etc. but you just aren't that into her. You're young man, just like all of us on this board and every now and again it's good to step back and put it all into perspective and you need some one to tell you to do it otherwise you won't realise you're just caught up in emotion's clouding your judgement.

Anyway's man best of luck but I'd say that it's a no go. Also, it's not being shallow, shallow would be the only reason you want to date her is for her look's and she's thick as a 2X4, but you cannot have a happy functioning relationship without a moderate degree of physical attraction.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
I don't see a problem with wanting a physical attraction. Now if your standards are only hourglass blondes, then yeah, maybe you're being shallow. A girl doesn't have to be gorgeous, or attractive by anyone elses standards but yours. I have dated some women who are not the type most guys were chasing after, but i found something appealing about them physically anyways. And once i got to know them i found out they became more physically attractive. Just be careful where you expectations are and how much importance you put on the physical.
I'll be surprised if you don't get 20 more posts talking about the 'evils' of physical attraction, though.
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#4
#4
Matthew4Jesus said:
Hey guys I am in a bit of a predicament, I have had this on and off thing with the only Christian girl in my school, and I at the moment things are starting to get more serious for her, but for me I was just testing the waters. Anyway, the point is, she is such a wonderful Godly person but she is... unattractiveness and SOOOO boring... but we barely spend any time together because she is always busy, so maybe it's that, I am not sure. My mind is saying ''yes, wonderful Christian girl, your age, same ambitions, same strong belief in god, crazy about you, GO FOR IT!!'' but my heart says ''No, you don't even like her, she is not pretty, no attraction.'' then my mind says ''So what, you will grow to like her.''

Any scripture would be very helpful thanks! I am in no rush to be in a relationship by the way, so I am totally flexible with any suggestions. Oh and seriously, why on earth are her looks a factor... it's just so hard to have any feelings for her at all.
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it in your heart you are not attracted to her then there is a reason. I believe God places it in our heart to love others as we should. I would wait for God to tell you the person you should marry. I have found NOT listening to your heart in these matters cause more pain instead of less. It is better if you are honest with the other person and tell them your true feelings and how you want to be good friends and that's it.

I would give you these verses:

1 Timothy 5
New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity

Other Christians are to be our family. However one day God will bring into your life someone you know is the other half of your heartbeat. Until that day grow and learn to be the man God means for you to become, keeping yourself pure and undeflied by the world and its carnal lusts.
 
D

dishchat

Guest
#5
#5
Seek the wil of God and obey him. Pray and He will guide you.Put God in the first place and you will suceed. ask God and He will reply you.
 
Matthew4Jesus

Matthew4Jesus

Senior Member
#6
May 7, 2011
258
5
18
#6
Thankyou so much to the four of you!! All your answers have helped me a lot, I have decided I will spend some time with her and then if there is still no attraction we will have to be friends. Once again, thankyou :)
 
F

fullofjoy

Banned
#7
Mar 15, 2012
6
0
0
#7
their are many girls out their that do not have to be christain would god plauge and damn you just becuase he created your lover as a atheist or a diff beilf
 
Johnxxxx

Johnxxxx

Banned
#9
Nov 28, 2011
69
1
0
30
#9
Physical attraction, whether you like it or not is an important facet in any relationship. I mean right now you aren't having sex. But the idea is that you might eventually be having sex, and you don't want that to be awful.
 
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