Youth Minister Trust Issues

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Lin-Lin

Guest
#1
#1
Ok, I know I shouldn't have problems trusting my youth minister but ... well he gossiped about me. Seriously, I was walking up the stairs of the youth building for Wednesday night service. (I had arrived early that day, so I was one of the few people there.) And I heard him talking to two girls about me, and it wasn't all that great. I didn't even know the girls either! So he was giving these girls his opinions on me to be interpretted in their own mind in their own way. And one of the girls commented that I was "a crazy girl, and someone needs to put her in her place." I ran off as soon as I heard this, I didn't want to hear anymore of the conversation. But one of my gal pals past by me as I ran to hide in the car and asked my youth minister what was wrong. And so he came after me and tried to talk it out. But the truth is, I don't want to talk it out. I feel really betrayed and hurt, and honestly I can't face him right now. But he's asked my friends to talk to me and try to fix things. No one understands how hurt I really feel. Everyone is pushing me to come back to youth and not stay in church with my mom. I understand this needs to be worked out but does it have to be now?
 
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SamIam

Guest
#2
#2
How is he a youth pastor when he's talkin bad about the people he's supposed to be a witness to..... i can understand how you would be hurt.. that was really really messed up of him, and im sorry... He should be the one coming to you.... not asking your friends to do it for him, seems very immature to me.
 
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Lin-Lin

Guest
#3
#3
thanks, I appreciate it ... a lot. you don't know how much those words mean to me. it is kinda immature for someone who is supposed to teach me. i don't think he really understands how much he hurt me.
 
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pancake

Guest
#4
#4
SamIam said:
How is he a youth pastor when he's talkin bad about the people he's supposed to be a witness to..... i can understand how you would be hurt.. that was really really messed up of him, and im sorry... He should be the one coming to you.... not asking your friends to do it for him, seems very immature to me.
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I agree!!!
People get enough gossip from some school and the last place they need it is in their own church group!
 
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aprilrenee202

Guest
#5
#5
that has to hurt:-( I would talk with him tho, and tell him your feelings...or email him at least. At least he would know that you dont trust him and maybe it will better him...or it wont. I woundt go back eother...heck i used skipped youth group
 
whiteknite

whiteknite

Banned
#6
Jan 9, 2009
819
4
0
#6
I don't know why this makes me angry. I guess because as a youth minister, he should know better than that. Have you considered talking to your Mother about having him replaced by someone who is more responsible? If my kid told me something like this; that is what I would try to do.
 
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collective

Guest
#7
#7
lovey, i know this is hurting you, i went throughh a bad experiece with my youth pastor too, if you dont tell him what he did wrong to you face to face now, you will have problems trusting God and authoritve in the future because your young heart is being conditioned to what your christian walk will be in the future, this wounding will not deal with itself, and if hes godly enough he should and would appologise to you and take responsibility for the hurt he put on youi, or talk to the pastor who will sort it out with him on your behalf, i hope will be bold to talk to him because before your creator he is no different to you regardless of what his position is, God bless
 
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YouthDude

Guest
#8
#8
I'm new here and some how was led to this post. Remember there are two sides to every conversation. You heard one side and assumed the worst. Since you haven't gone to your pastor to learn why he was talking that way about you to others, you're stuck in an unforgiving state. I've been the Youth Dude at our church for many years now and understand that sometimes to get others to open up about their problems it is necessary to let them ramble on in an unchristian manor... and to play along with them. Maybe he was getting to know these other girls and how they felt about you in order to help you in the future. Christian fellowship sometimes comes about in a way that we don't understand at the moment. It's just that way with many things Christian. You must go and resolve this with your Youth Minister in order for God's work to be completed. You have choices that are Christian and others that will lead you away from Christ. Usually the one that is the easiest is the work of evil. To be hurt and unforgiving is easy and not Christian. To confer and forgive is the path of a seeker. Don't give up! Don't run away! Ask God for strength and grow.
 
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Gabrielle

Senior Member
#9
Aug 6, 2007
136
1
18
#9
YouthDude said:
I'm new here and some how was led to this post. Remember there are two sides to every conversation. You heard one side and assumed the worst. Since you haven't gone to your pastor to learn why he was talking that way about you to others, you're stuck in an unforgiving state. I've been the Youth Dude at our church for many years now and understand that sometimes to get others to open up about their problems it is necessary to let them ramble on in an unchristian manor... and to play along with them. Maybe he was getting to know these other girls and how they felt about you in order to help you in the future. Christian fellowship sometimes comes about in a way that we don't understand at the moment. It's just that way with many things Christian. You must go and resolve this with your Youth Minister in order for God's work to be completed. You have choices that are Christian and others that will lead you away from Christ. Usually the one that is the easiest is the work of evil. To be hurt and unforgiving is easy and not Christian. To confer and forgive is the path of a seeker. Don't give up! Don't run away! Ask God for strength and grow.
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understand that sometimes to get others to open up about their problems it is necessary to let them ramble on in an unchristian manor...and to play along with them

I'm the youth administrator at my church and I don't agree with that one bit. "Play along?" What kind of example is one setting for the youth by playing along and making them feel its ok to gossip about one another? Also if you pay attention to what the young lady wrote the youth pastor was the one doing the talking. I would never do this or condone this at my youth ministry. If the teens have a problem with one another I get those involved together and talk about it. And yes she should forgive. I think she should give herself a little time and pray before approaching the youth pastor.
 
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