The Situation is:

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Z

zai

Guest
#1
#1
the situation is:
i have my boyfriend, my family knows him (but not as my boyfriend), he is also a Christian.. we've known each other since we were on preschool. and we are also "family friends"..

my point is, my parents dont want me to have a boyfriend yet, because they said im too young for that matter.. but as a teenager, you know what i feel, right? and i think some of teenagers here, do understand :)

i just want to ask what to do :)

(i dont know how to construct my message haha sorry)
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#2
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
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#2
The more you push to have a "boyfriend" the more your parents will restrict you and your friend from seeing each other. If they think you're just hanging out you'll get more time and support. Not to be deceptive with them, but what do you want more - a boyfriend, or to be with your friend?
 
Z

zai

Guest
#3
#3
i really wanted to go on with this relationship :) and i think my mom likes him.. and my dad? i guess so.. but should i tell them that we are in a relationship? and how? would they understand if i did?
thanks for the response :)
 
Z

zai

Guest
#4
#4
and we mean no harm :)
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#5
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
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#5
Zai speaking from personal experience... The best relationships are that of friend-ship. I can understand what your parents are worried about. Yes, you could mean no harm and just want to feel closer and more loved by each other. And to know that the other is "off the market" so to speak... But what they are afraid of is you guys will get physically committed to each other and not spiritually. They know your young and give into temptation quicker then you will at lets say 20 years old. But what they are hoping is that through this time you will see enough people fall from spiritual love to physical to know the difference by the time you date.

Imo It sounds like you already have what your looking for except for the name of dating... And maybe a kiss or two... What is so vastly misunderstood in this world is dating, should be just hanging with a friend... Except now your the only one who can :p... You might not understand what I am saying about how you already have what you desire until you get older... But I can say you don't want to find this out through trial and error... Too many people are hurt because they give into the physical... You're parents are not trying to keep you from this boy, but from all boys and yourself if that makes sense...

Don't know if this post makes sense.... Sorry
 
Z

zai

Guest
#6
#6
thank you so much..

i got your point.
yeah.. i understand my parents, and we both know our limitations, i know that teenage life isnt stable yet. thats why im not taking this through my bones really. but im serious about our relationship, and i wanted this to become more stronger and longer. i am also praying that God would really be our center coz i know that everything will eventually fall down to its places.. and if, only if, i have to decide the man im going to marry today, i would choose him. but yeah, i repeat, my feelings are not stable yet. haha..
 
NateDaGrimes

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
#7
Jan 7, 2013
445
4
18
#7
your parents really dont trust you, at your age they would hope you dont sneak off and be alone with eachother..

They are basically trying to protect you from any emotional pains like breakups and stuff. its simply best to date when you are 18. Also not everyone who has the word "christian" means they are a christian, they could act like it at church but who they are at home or other place besides church shows their true nature, alone or occupied.

just a heads up
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
What should you do? The answer to this is really simple. The bible speaks very clear on this.

[h=3]Exodus 20:12[/h]
[SUP]12 [/SUP]“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
 
S

Sideburns

Guest
#9
#9
It is true friend, we must honour our fathers and mothers :) But why? Well for obvious reasons, as it is in the bible, but for you, more specifically, why honour your father and mother in the aspect of not having a boyfriend so young? Well friend God is so good isn't he? He blesses us to have parents who went thru so much in their lives to be able to teach us so that we can learn from their mistakes and not have to make them, avoiding the pain, that comes with it :) The bible teaches that the only reason, a man and a woman, are to be together, is MARRIAGE! So, if you don't plan on marrying your current boyfriend, according to the bible, there is no reason that you could give that would be justified in God's sight, however :) If you do plan on marrying your boyfriend then of course you plan on having children with him as well, as the point, according to the bible, of being married is to reproduce! And according to the Forums you are only 16 :) so I think it would be safe to agree with your parents and bible on this one :D You are too young to date, but don't be discouraged friend! Pray about this and ask God to help prepare you to be a wife, if it is his will he will help you :) God bless you hope this has been helpful, if so, gloryb2God :)
 
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Z

zai

Guest
#10
#10
thank you so so so much everybody! :D you guys are the best!
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#11
#11
zai said:
and we mean no harm :)
Click to expand...
I am sure you do mean no harm, you just want some independence right? 16...you feel the time is right to have a boyfriend etc. But, you either go against your parents wishes and disobey them, or you work with them. Its hard for parents too! :) there is a reason why parents get anxious when teens hang out 1 on 1. There is not many girls and boys who find themselves expecting a child in their teens who set out for that to happen! Believe me...one thing can lead to another, despite the best of intentions :) Thing is, what are you going to be doing, that you can't do as part of a group? hanging out in a group at this stage in your life is really what your parents would want...talk to them about how this could be negotiated? but try to remember, yes, parents are annoying...but they were 16 too...thats why they get so concerned!! :)
God Bless you. <><
 
D

dashadow

Guest
#12
#12
If you care for each other in a way that is consistent with God's Word, everything should work out fine, in time. And that will be the case whether your parents approve or not. But if you're being dishonest with your parents, that is not consistent with God's Word.
 
Z

zai

Guest
#13
#13
guys, what if i tell my parents that we're together? would that be a good suggestion? but how? :) hehehe
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#14
#14
Well, if you're choosing to stay together, you're not honoring or obeying your parents. And that means, in effect, you are disobeying God. You really believe God is supportive of your disobedience?
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#15
Oct 24, 2012
14,948
92
48
#15
zai said:
the situation is:
i have my boyfriend, my family knows him (but not as my boyfriend), he is also a Christian.. we've known each other since we were on preschool. and we are also "family friends"..

my point is, my parents dont want me to have a boyfriend yet, because they said im too young for that matter.. but as a teenager, you know what i feel, right? and i think some of teenagers here, do understand :)

i just want to ask what to do :)

(i dont know how to construct my message haha sorry)
Click to expand...
Just think it out, please do not give up what you want in the long-run for waht you think you need at the moment. Think about it and trust your parents asking them to talk to you to make a wise choice. Communication is important and Hormones do run wild in thinking what harm can happen. Sister it can happen and your parents are trying to shield you from future harm
I tell you what, youown a candy store and you can eat as much candy as you desire. You are asked one thing first to ask the wise Parents who have eaten too much candy all a once and got sick from it. This is what they are trying to prevent from you to eat too much candy and get sick as I am sure they have the experience thereofre they are trying to keep you from getting sick/ Parents are there to protect, whether they come across well or not
In love by them whether you see this or not. Please see that they are actually out for your best benefit in the long run
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#16
Oct 24, 2012
14,948
92
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#16
zai said:
guys, what if i tell my parents that we're together? would that be a good suggestion? but how? :) hehehe
Click to expand...
Since you are together behind their backs, yes bring forth the lie to truth tha tyuo have done this behind their backs against their will for you. Be ready to face the consequences. Know youare in thewrong fess up it and show them that you know all they have in mind is your best interest at hand.
Now if youdo not tell them that you have not gone by their wishes and they find out without your confession before hand, the circunstances will and can be much worse. Now Sister this is how the devil, evil works at making things worse and worse it starts with a little white lie, that turns into deception, that unless brought forth to light it will just become worse and worse foryou and your parents and boyfriend as well
Confess and forsake Sister tell your boyfriend you need to do as your parents say and are going to tell them and you can't see him as a boyfriend. Now if he accepts this then hemight be worth something, but ifhe does not then I am going tosay he is out for himself, not showing you love as in for you as yuor parents are showing you even though you donot see this now, but Sister they are, so find out if this boy can wait with utmost patience
There is a place in the Old Testament where a man worked for 14 years to gain the mans Daughter that he worked for, and it was originally 7 years he was to work for this man and recieve this mans Daughter in Marriage but by deceitfrom the Daughters Father the one that worked for himhad towork another 7 years before he could marry this mans Daughter
Sister is this boy after what he wants in the long run or is he out for excitement here and now which is what most yuor age are out for only.
Sister there is a future, where one has to work, pay bills, buy food, have Children. And there is no care for future, thus no preparation and thus a lotof trouble ahead
 
Z

zai

Guest
#17
#17
thank you very much for all of your concerns.
ive been praying about this. and to my conclusion, ive decided to have a break up with him.

im too young for this matter and i understand that my parents wants only the best for me. and i know that God has someone reserved for me in the future. and if me and him are meant for each other, there would be a way soon that we will be together. i made clear to him about this situation that we have. i am very happy that my boyfriend understood the reasons why. and we both decided to be friends like we used to. and i am praying that we wont be awkward like others after break ups :) and i really hope we wont..

all we have to do know is enjoy our youth days. and always seek God for wisdom for questions that pops in our minds, and for what we are going through, and will be.
thank you sooooo much guys for making me understand and realize things out :)
God bless..
 
F

FAITHFULGILLIAN

Guest
#18
#18
Obedience can be tough but being a true Christian is not a soft option. Congratulations on a wise choice.
 
S

Sideburns

Guest
#19
#19
Gloryb2God the most high! It brings me great joy and encouragement to hear you say these words, Gloryb2God! Read psalms 1 Thats Gods promise to you, Continue to walk by faith friend God bless you! Peace be unto you :D
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#20
Oct 24, 2012
14,948
92
48
#20
zai said:
thank you very much for all of your concerns.
ive been praying about this. and to my conclusion, ive decided to have a break up with him.

im too young for this matter and i understand that my parents wants only the best for me. and i know that God has someone reserved for me in the future. and if me and him are meant for each other, there would be a way soon that we will be together. i made clear to him about this situation that we have. i am very happy that my boyfriend understood the reasons why. and we both decided to be friends like we used to. and i am praying that we wont be awkward like others after break ups and i really hope we wont..

all we have to do know is enjoy our youth days. and always seek God for wisdom for questions that pops in our minds, and for what we are going through, and will be.
thank you sooooo much guys for making me understand and realize things out :)
God bless..
Click to expand...
I tell you truth Sister you will always have
John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
You have made the wise choice, and please understand the above verse by theSpirit of god and continue to be led by God as you are being led.
Truth Sister sets one free and never has to check notes of what has been said because truth in all things stands 100% of the time
I remember a comic strip in the newspaper many years ago, when the boy asked Marmaduke hey I thought you said something differant last week. Marmaduke replied wait a minute let me chck my notes?
Now I ahve a saying that came form my Mom that said oh Howard what a tangled web we weave when we first set out to believe
God and I are elated over your wise choice and if it is meant for you and your friend to become togather then it will, but not by deceit. And a word to be friends above everything else is a lasting relationship, been married for over 30 years, and are friends above everything else trusting God foirst and foremost in all things before each other. For God is the object of each of our Faith's in God through Christ and then we meet together as trusted friends even though we are married, neither one of us owns the other as what happens in a lot of marriages and divorce rate is so high because of the battle for control one over the over throlugh the mis understanding of submit!!!!.
Sister it is all about Love God's type best described 1 Cor13 this is what God desires for each of us that believe to recieve, but flesh can't recieve this type of Love. Now this why Christ went to the cross first to die to take away the sin of the world in his Father's sight, making us reconciled to God the Father of Christ, therfore Christ could present each of us Holy to God his Father and therefore can by the resurrection at the cross give us each new life in the Spirit of God and be able thus to recieve the 1 Cor. 13 love and thus we ar eable to carry it out becasue we this born again of the Spirit of God serving God in Spirit and truth the only way God can be served
John 4:23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.
John 4:24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Love you Sister and continue to learn and read from God no matter what comes you know you believe and that is enough for God to teach you truth that keeps you free
 
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